A/N: I'm sorry if I'm loopy, I was stressed out all night and now my fiction project is really dark and I'm going to stop making excuses and give you the story. Akatsuki's point of view.

Disclaimer: I don't own Vampire Knight and I make no profit from this.

I bet everyone thinks that Hanabusa's harsh comments don't get to Ruka. But that's not true, not every time anyway. Sometimes they break her in ways that I still haven't figured out how to fix.

When we were 11, I heard Ruka crying in her room. I knew that her and Hanabusa had gotten into a fight earlier, though I didn't know the details and I hadn't been there to stop it. Big mistake on my part, really, because it created the beginning of the spider web of cracks in Ruka's psyche, the ones I still don't know what to do about.

I walked into her room unannounced as I always did back then, and found Ruka sitting in front of her vanity mirror, sobbing.

"Ruka, what's wrong?" I asked, as I stood beside her. I brushed her hair out of her face, mostly because I figured that she was hurt, that Hanabusa had scratched or bruised her.

"Hanabusa s-said..." She swallowed hard and hugged me tightly. "He said that I'm ugly. I am ugly aren't I?"

"Don't let him get to you, you're beautiful." I dried her tears with a Kleenex and ran my fingers through her hair. "You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. Hanabusa just does that because he knows he can get to you."

Despite my calm demeanor, I was shocked. I had never seen Ruka cry because of something Hanabusa said; usually she just attacked him for his foul comments.

Ruka didn't say anything, but she didn't want me to leave after that, and I ended up sleeping in her room with her for the first time.

When we first came to Cross Academy, someone else's comments got to her the same way. Rima Touya made a quick snappy comment to Ruka about being self-centered, and though Ruka acted pissed off, the way she stomped to her room and slammed the door, when I found her she was bawling her eyes out.

"I hate myself." She sobbed into my shirt as I held her close. "I hate myself so much. I'm more flawed than anyone here, and everyone here hates me except you, Akatsuki. I hate it here!"

"Do you want to leave?" I offered, sure I could find a way to get her home if it was absolutely necessary. "I would go with you if you wanted."

"No." Ruka straightened in my arms, suddenly her regal self despite the tears. "I'm going to stay here and teach them all a lesson."

Of course, Ruka and Rima later made up and became friends, but the cracks in chips at the corners of Ruka's mind, the damage caused, didn't disappear.

She's still as flawed as ever, and though I still love her more than my own life, I can't help but wonder if what's cracked in such a way, like a mirror with a hammer taken to it, can ever really be repaired.

I just know that I'll never stop trying.

A/N: Another more speculative one. I'm big on those lately. I just have one more one shot to do and then I'm headed to bed for a while. Anyway, thank you for reading and drop me a review if you can, I love hearing from my readers.