As it turned out, Alphonse did know that his brother could fix it, and took notes on Ron's wand, saying he'd need to research the components, and that he should be able to fix it before class on Monday.
"As long as you know what it's made of you can fix it with Alchemy… I'm not too sure about how the core would be affected though, maybe we can send an owl to Ollivander and ask," Alphonse said, before politely turning back to his conversation with Neville.
"Yesssss," Ron sighed, "Now mum won't kill me."
"What if he can't fix it?" Harry asked, taking another bite of his bagel.
"What if you shut up," Ron replied jokingly.
They were reminded very much of his wand's vulnerability when it accidently shot out of Ron's hand during Charms the next morning, hitting Professor Flitwick squarely in the forehead. Hermione didn't seem to notice though, instead pouncing on poor Ginny as she exited the Alchemy classroom. Harry and Ron left her behind knowing how long she'd spend pestering Ginny.
They'd luckily had a free block after charms anyway, and went outside, losing their robes on the grass and plopping down on top of them. Ron took one look at his charms homework before looking at his wand and tossing both over his shoulder lazily. Hermione showed up fifteen minutes later, looking halfway between intrigued and annoyed.
"Ginny said they didn't do much since it was a normal block," she sighed. "She said he used a lot of circles though, and didn't use his wand at all when he did alchemy."
"Circles?" Harry questioned.
"She didn't describe it that well," she frowned, "Fred and George should have double Alchemy later though… I just hope they pay attention."
"If they think they can prank with it they might," Ron shrugged.
When they made it to dinner later that night Hermione dive bombed at the twins, interrupting their conversation with Lee Jordan.
"Professor Elric's weird," George started.
"But at least he isn't Lockhart." Fred agreed, grinning as Hermione rolled her eyes.
"We're joking Hermione," George laughed. They heard a loud wooden thunk as Professor Elric face planted at the staff table, and they noticed Lockhart seemingly blathering on about something, oblivious to the fact that Ed had seemingly tried to knock himself out. McGonagall was looking down at him in a weird way, seemingly deciding whether or not to join him. Snape looked annoyed as well, looking like he'd rather be somewhere else. Harry saw something in their glasses that looked suspiciously like wine.
"Although Professor Ed really doesn't like him," Fred grinned, watching the scene play out.
"Lockhart came in trying to interrupt class and Elric sealed the whole wall shut," George added.
"You mean the door?" Ron asked.
"No Ickle Ronnikins, he straight up merged the walls together and the door disappeared, then he said that it was a practical demonstration and only put the door back when Angelina asked to go to the bathroom," Fred laughed.
"You should've seen Lockhart's face," George agreed.
"Looks like he's getting his revenge now though," Fred added. Harry watched McGonagall slide the maybe wine towards Professor Elric.
"Ginny said something about circles?"
"Oh right, you don't use your wands, you use these circle things, and you put different things in the circles depending what kind of alchemy you're trying to do, runes and lines and things like that," George explained.
"It doesn't seem all that quick, but he said he knew a guy who tattooed a bunch of them on his arms so he could do it whenever he wanted," Fred added, grinning at the horrified look on her face, "He told us not to do it, and then told us you could also wear them on jewelry and on gloves and stuff. He's probably got some stitched somewhere since he didn't draw anything when he kicked Lockhart out. "
Hermione calmed down after that, but still looked rather excited. "I wonder what he'll have us do?"
"Sounds like a boring version of transfiguration," Ron grumbled.
"Now don't sell it short brother-" George tutted.
"It's technically wandless magic-" Fred continued
"Which you'll need to know how to do soon by the looks of it," They said at the same time, pointing at Ron's half-hazard wand.
"Besides you'll get it when you actually see him do it," George guaranteed before the brothers went back to talking with Angelina. Professor Elric banged his head on the staff table again, and luckily for his brain, Dumbledore excused him from sitting at the staff table. Rather than getting up and walking around, he vaulted right over the table, jogging to where his brother was sitting at the Ravenclaw table.
"Looks like Elric finally escaped," Ron joked.
"He isn't that bad," Hermione complained, pausing as she watched McGonagall look longingly at the Ravenclaw table.
"Are you sure about that? I mean it's only been three days since school started," Harry questioned.
"I think some of the teachers stay here year-round," Neville added as he sat down.
"Rest in Peace then," Ron snickered.
"They're probably just getting used to each other, besides I don't think Professor Lockhart's ever taught before-"
"Hermione, Ed's like thirteen based on his height and he managed to get Fred and George interested-" Ron paused as his brothers and Lee slid over
"Ooh brother I wouldn't bring up you-know-who's height-" Fred warned.
"Peeves did it once during the summer and now he's terrified of him," George agreed.
"Peeves is only scared of the Bloody Baron," Ron argued.
"And apparently Professor Ed's fist of justice," Lee added. The three slid back down the table ominously. McGonagall and Snape both excused themselves from dinner, and Lockhart still hadn't noticed his missing audience, talking to nothing but the air around him.
Him, Ron, and Hermione were making their way to Hagrid's cabin, stopping every few seconds when he either paused to throw up a slug, or to push Colin Creevey out of the way. They had to duck behind a bush as Lockhart left Hagrid's cabin.
"It's easy if you know what to do, If you need help, you know where I am. I'll sign a book and owl it over to you, I'm surprised you don't have one already," the man blathered on, ignorant to the bored look on Hagrid's face as he walked away. Hagrid still stood in his doorway, although they hadn't thought Hagrid has seen them.
"Ed, Al, he's gone," he announced, and the two golden-haired boys popped out from behind Hagrid's hut.
"Oh, thank truth," Ed sighed, carrying Al in his arms back into the hut. Hagrid caught them as they got up from the bush.
"Harry, Ron, Hermione! Bin' waitin fer ya ta come see me," Hagrid welcomes them to his hut, hardly reacting when Ron threw up a slug before entering. The Elric brothers looked a little grossed out however, glad when Hagrid gave him something to throw up in.
"He tried cursing out Malfoy, but cause of his wand it backfired," Harry explained.
Edward looked up, as he put his brother down on the couch, "Oh his wand, Ollivander hasn't gotten back to me yet but-" There was a loud pecking noise at the window, and one of the school's owls hooted at the window. "Hold on-"
The Owl had a letter and a small bag tied to its ankle.
"Nicolas Flamel has told me many times of him fixing his wand with alchemy, so it should be fine. However I have sent an extra unicorn tail hair, and a small amount of ash wood, just in case," Edward read aloud. "Well might as well do it now so you can curse Malfoy all you want later," Ed joked, and Harry fished Ron's wand out of his robes pocket as he bent over to throw up another snail.
Professor Elric pulled a piece of chalk out of his robes, drawing an intricate circle on the stone floor of Hagrid's hut, double checking everything and letting Hermione look it over before stripping the wand of its spellotape, and placing all of the materials in the center of the circle. He clapped his hands together to concentrate before slamming his hands on the edge of the circle, filling the hut with electric blue light.
When it faded, Ron's wand, looking in better shape than anyone had ever seen it, sat on the floor. Ed handed the wand to Harry before brushing the chalk off the floor with a gloved hand. "If it doesn't work I can probably get permission to take you to the small side-shop in Hogsmeade," Ed said as Harry handed the wand to Ron.
Ron pointed his wand at a beatle on the floor, casting the charm he'd been attempting on Friday. The bug easily transformed into a button, even if it kept its vaguely iridescent coloring.
"Now mum won't kill me!" Ron cheered before spitting out another slug.
"Hey Hagrid, what did Lockhart want anyway?" Harry asked.
"Givin' me advice how to keep kelpies out of the well, like I haven't been doin' tha' fer years," Hagrid rolled his eyes as Ed put a few Galleons in the birds pouch and sending it back to Ollivander. "Blatherin' on about some banshee he banished, if a word of it wer' true I'd eat my kettle," Hagrid joked, and Alphonse laughed quietly.
"Even Hagrid won't defend him and he defended Snape last year," Ron laughed.
"Well… obviously Dumbledore thought he would do a good job since he hired him," Hermione assured herself.
"No-one else would take the job. People are startin' to realize sometin's wrong with tha position I think," Hagrid mumbled to himself, "Who'd you say you were trying ta Jinx again?"
"Malfoy, he called Hermione something… everyone got wild cause of it so it must've been bad," Harry shrugged.
"He called Hermione a mudblood," Ron explained before puking up another slug. Hagrid looked outraged while the Elric brothers looked confused as well.
"He didn'!" Hagrid growled.
"He did, I don't know what it means, but everyone got offended for me," Hermione admitted.
"It's a nasty word for muggle-born, probably the cleverest thing he could think of," Ron explained, spitting into the basin. "Some pure-blooded families are real snotty bout the whole thing, doesn't really make sense tho, 'Mione's got more magical power in her pinky than Neville's got in his whole body."
Hermione flushed at the compliment but Ron had already ducked down to throw up another slug. "He's right ya know, ain't a spell you can't do," Hagrid smiled.
"Honestly whole thing's stupid, if we stayed "pure" blooded we would've died off ages ago. Side's the first wizard was probably muggle-born anyway."
"I don't blame ya fer tryna' curse him Ron, woulda done it myself if it weren't fer Lucius, probably a good thing it didn't work after what you two'd done to tha whompin' willow. Might've gotten expelled if he had his way," Hagrid added, "Also I've heard you bin givin' out signed photos, how come I haven' gotten one?" Hagrid teased.
"I have not-" Harry started only to stop as he realized the Elric's and Hagrid were laughing.
"I'm only teasin' ya," Hagrid laughed, patting Harry on the back hard enough that he'd nearly hit the table. The Elric brothers quietly excused themselves, they all said goodbye, except Ron, who threw up another slug.
"What were they doing here anyway?" Ron asked.
"Oh, Ed was askin' if I could get him some oil next time I went down to Diagon Alley," Hagrid admitted.
"What's he need oil for?" Harry asked.
Hagrid blanched slightly like he'd told them something he shouldn't of, "I dunno' probably fer alchemy. Wanna come an' see what I've been growing?" He asked, quickly changing the subject. The trio followed him to the garden anyway.
Dinner was a bit somber due to their detentions in the upcoming hours. Luckily Ron had stopped throwing up slugs enough to eat dinner.
"Honestly what did you think you'd have for detention," Hermione sighed at both of them.
"How 'bout you take my detention, and spend a few hours with Lockhart instead," Harry teased.
"That's what you got for crashing the flying car?" Professor Ed asked, sitting several feet down with Alphonse and Neville.
"He's gotta help Lockhart with his fan mail in his office," Ron joked.
Professor Ed frowned before getting a mischievous smile worthy of the twins. "Hey Al, isn't Lockhart's office on our floor?"
"Yes, why?" His brother asked innocently. Edward slunk away from the table, joined by Fred, George, and Lee who seemed to have seen the look on his face.
"Oh what are they doing," Hermione sighed worriedly.
"Well at least we know Professor Ed isn't a stiff," Ron laughed, "Wonder what he'll do though."
As it turned out, Professor Ed had turned all of the oxygen in Lockhart's office to helium.
"Probably just a student prank," Lockhart explained in a squeaky voice, clutching a small pile of fanmail. Harry did his best not to laugh. "I'm sure Edward will let us use his office."
It turned out Edward was in his office, but the room was tiny in comparison to Lockhart's. Alphonse was sleeping on a small futon wedged in the corner, a large blonde cat curled up on his lap. With the desk and chair and all of the alchemy materials, which was largely just long logs of wood piled up on the left side, there was only room for one chair in the room.
"Oh well," Lockhart squeaked, "I suppose we can use my classroom…"
"Lockhart why don't I take over the detention while you fix your office?" Edward suggested.
"Ah well I told McGonagall-"
"I'm sure she'd understand, it's your office after all," Ed pressed.
"Ah, well, thank you Edward, I'm sure I'll figure it out in no time," Lockhart agreed, still squeakily, leaving Harry in Ed's office.
"Oh thank god," Harry sighed, dropping down in the other chair, and dropping his head onto Ed's desk.
"That's not detention, that's a death sentence," Ed joked. "What's wand kid doing for detention?"
"Ron's polishing trophies with Filch," Harry answered.
"Well… might as well rescue him too," Ed shrugged getting up from his chair. He pulled off his robe and draped it over his brother and the cat, grabbed the large leather notebook he'd been writing in, and the pair left the office.
"What'd the twins and Lee do?"
"Oh not much, I think they turned a few of his robes neon," Ed explained, "Told McGonagall they were helping me get materials for class Monday."
"You lied to a teacher?" Harry asked surprised, Ed turned back to him.
"I'm a teacher," Ed said, "Besides Lockhart lies every five minutes, I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't even blond."
They eventually arrived at the trophy room where Ron was scrubbing at a silver plaque.
"Where's Lockhart?" Filch grumbled.
"His office got pranked, he's trying to fix it, but he handed off Harry's detention to me," Ed explained. "It wasn't the Weasley twins, they were with me."
"Darn students," the man hissed, looking around.
"If you want to try and find who did it, I'll take over Ron's detention for you," Ed convinced. Filch looked around grumbling to himself before nodding.
"They aren't allowed to leave until everything's clean… no wands," he hissed, limping out of the room.
"Yessss," Ron cheered quietly sinking to the floor. Ed transmuted the doors to the room shut.
"Alright do whatever it takes, I don't really care," Professor Elric shrugged.
The work got done much faster with both magic and Harry involved, and within an hour everything was polished. They left the trophy room, and Professor Elric walked around with them, telling anyone who asked that they were helping him with Errands.
"Errands" included setting Alphonse's cat, apparently named Winry, free near Lockhart's room. Sneaking into the kitchen for a late-night snack, and seeing who could throw a rock the farthest in the lake. Professor Elric won by an almost ridiculous distance, and Ron kept insisting he had cheated. He eventually brought them back to the Gryffindor tower entrance, leaving the boys far less miserable than they thought they'd be at the end of their detentions.
Harry was already asleep when the creature began slithering through the walls of the second floor.
"Oh I'm so excited for Alchemy," Hermione cheered as they left the greenhouse. They'd just watered the Mandrake's today and learned more about the plants effects since it wasn't a double period.
"Anything's better than double potions," Ron grumbled, "At least we know Elric isn't a git."
"Ron! You just like him because he got you out of detention," Hermione sighed.
"And he fixed his wand," Harry added pointedly.
"And he fixed my wand!" Ron cheered. "Oh, lighten up Hermione, the alchemy was cool too," he admitted. They saw Winry walking up ahead, and eventually Alphonse turned the corner, walking extremely slowly, and balancing between the wall and his cane.
"Are you alright Alphonse?" Hermione asked.
"Yes, I'm fine," he assured. "Just stretching my legs," he added. He probably would've lifted his leg if his other leg was strong enough to.
"Should you be like, walking around?" Ron asked crudely, Hermione stomped on his foot.
"Brother and Madam Pomfrey say I should wait," he admitted. "But Brother has two double blocks in a row…" he tried to explain. Winry the cat looked at him with a skeptical look on her face.
"Do you need help getting back?" Hermione asked. Alphonse looked sheepishly around the corner from where he came.
"Uhm, yes thank you," he admitted. Hermione grabbed Alphonse's cane, while Harry and Ron both put one of Al's arms around their shoulders. Despite being older, Harry was pretty sure he weighed less than any of them. Alphonse walked fine once his weight was supported, and they were somehow the first to arrive to the classroom, although Harry assumed that no one else knew the classroom was on this floor.
Professor Elric mothered over his brother as soon as they arrived, making him sit down on a very comfy looking chair near his desk. The entire room seemed like it'd been cleaned up, and all of the desks had smooth wooden tops despite how clearly worn the rest of the tables were. Harry figured he used alchemy to flatten everything out.
Edward calmed down once he figured his brother would be fine, checking over the student list and crossing off the trio. "Hey, isn't this Malfoy kid the one you tried cursing?"
"Yeah, we always end up in classes with them," Ron grumbled. Professor Ed hummed to himself in thought, and Hermione got a worried look on her face.
Neville was the first to arrive, although a large hoard of Slytherin's piled in together. Small groups of Gryffindor's arrived after that, and Malfoy rather smugly turned to Professor Ed.
"Shouldn't they lose points for being late?" He demanded.
"Did I tell any of you where the classroom was?" With the exception of the trio and Neville, the answer was overwhelmingly 'No.' "Then why would I take points off? Now Mister?"
"Malfoy, Draco Malfoy," he replied smugly.
"Alright Mister Malfoy," Ed paused, "10 points off Slytherin for questioning my judgement."
Ron barely stifled a laugh behind his arm.
"Do you know who I am?"
"You told me your name five seconds ago Malfoy, should I take off more points for questioning my intelligence or can we start class?" Draco stuttered at that, and Ed smiled, "Great. Now Alchemy is the science of understanding and manipulating matter." He started, and everyone frantically pulled out their scrolls of paper and quills. He paused to let them get it down.
"The art of doing alchemy is known as Transmutation. It has three steps, Comprehension, Deconstruction, and Reconstruction. To do a transmutation, you need a transmutation circle." Professor Elric explained, stepping up to Malfoy's desk with chalk in his hand.
"To demonstrate, get up if you want to, we will be transmuting Malfoy and?"
"Pansy Parkinson."
"Miss Parkinson's table. While there are more complicated ways to do this, I'll be showing you one of the simplest wood transmutation circles. You start with the outer circle-"
"How'd you do a perfect circle like that?" Neville asked.
"Practice, you add a square that touches the edge of the circle, and another square diagonal to that inside of that square, and finally another circle, slightly larger than the bigger square and, you're done."
"Professor Elric, where's your wand?"
"You don't need it, alchemy uses your natural energy, call it chi or your inner magic or whatever you want, you just need your hands."
"Now comprehension, this wood is pine wood, I know because I cut the trees down myself for the tabletops. The chemical composition of most kinds of trees are just different levels of Cellulose, Hemicelluloses, Lignin, and Extractives. You don't need to know any of that yet, and I don't expect anyone but maybe a few muggle-borns to even get that I'm talking about chemical properties."
"Long story short I know what the wood is made of. You don't need to be that specific, but I comprehend what I'm trying to do. Deconstruction and Reconstruction usually go hand in hand, but if you wanted you can stop at the Deconstruction phase. Why would being able to deconstruct wood be useful as a wizard?"
"You could deconstruct someone's wand?" Hermione asked.
"Bingo, 10 points to Hermione specifically," he joked. "Drawing out the circle every time isn't exactly effective, but you could stitch it into a pair of gloves, or if you really were out for someone you could get it tattooed somewhere on your body. You still have to know the wood and wand core but you can narrow it down a bit, Ollivander only uses three different cores, unicorn hair, dragon heartstring, and phoenix feathers. Destroy the core and the wand is non-functional." Edward explained. Most of the class looked at their wands somewhat protectively.
"You can also use reconstruction to fix your wands, as seen by Mister Weasley's wand. You'll need to keep all the pieces though."
"Now back on track deconstruction is the easiest phase, but reconstruction is more difficult. We will only be breaking down the shape of the wood, not the composition, so you also don't have to reconstruct the composition. But you'll want to comprehend what the wood is, feel it deconstructing, and then construct the wood back in any shape you'd like." He explained.
He then leaned over Malfoy's desk, eyes closed in concentration before slamming his hands down onto the edge of the circle. The table sparked with alchemic energy, Draco and Pansy sliding back in their chairs as the wood reformed into a small vase. "You can do anything you want within reason. Both you and your partner are using the same desk, and if you try to make anything too big, you'll use up the table top and everything will collapse."
Professor Ed pointed to the side of Malfoy's table and then the table next to it. The alchemically changed table was just a bit thinner than the other one.
"Now I've been noticing that some students can transmute with just the basic knowledge that the table is pine, if you need any more explanation than that, then you can tell because you won't make it to the deconstruction phase. If you can't make it past deconstruction than you just need to think a bit harder about what you're trying to make."
"It doesn't say anything about your skill level or alchemy potential if you need more information, it just means that you overthink a bit."
Ron was surprisingly one of the first to accomplish the task, forming a rather crude sculpture of a duck. Ron picked it up and put it right next to his face, making annoying quacking sounds until Harry made a rival duck, with a small wooden samurai sword, and the two had a small duck fight.
Neville had made a rather impressive tree from the wood, which seemed rather poetic. Hermione however only created fickle sparks for about twenty minutes even with additional information from Professor Ed. He watched Hermione carefully before wiping off her desk, and drawing a much more complicated circle. After three tries, Hermione finally created a small wooden ballerina box. It wasn't functional but you could tell what it was.
He sketched the same circle onto Hermione's notes before wiping it off and putting back the original circle with instructions to keep it simple. Since Hermione had stopped stressing, she created a wooden mug on the second try.
They heard a loud crash from Harry and Ron's desk, after they made too many wooden ducks in their respective armies. Professor Ed rolled his eyes before clapping his hands and turning all the ducks on the floor back to the table top, lifting it up with surprisingly little resistance. Once it was back on top he fused the top to the base of the table.
"Professor do you have transmutation circles sewn into your clothes?" Hermione asked.
"Maybe I'm just covered in tattoos," he joked, "After all I am wearing gloves."
"Alright so homework is to research the chemical composition of one non-living material. Ask Madam Pince in the library for the chemistry section, I've been sending kids there all week. Length doesn't matter, just as long as it needs to be. If you have any questions or want to practice Alchemy, I have all of Wednesday off until three thirty, you can also sit in on any of the other second or third year classes since you're all learning the same curriculum."
"I really do ask that you find either me or Alphonse if you want to practice Alchemy, it can backfire if you get ahead of yourselves," Ed warned ominously as the bell rang. "Oh and Parkinson?"
"Yes Professor Ed?"
"5 points to Slytherin for not getting snippy with me when I used your table," Ed said, and the girl walked away pleased while Malfoy still looked annoyed.
The trio packed up their things, waving goodbye to the Elric brothers, although Alphonse had apparently fallen asleep at some point. Winry the cat was currently stalking Malfoy down the halls.
"That was cool," Ron admitted.
"You're just saying that because you made a duck army," Hermione argued.
"Weren't you the one telling us we should enjoy the class?" Harry pointed out
"Yes, well-"
"Hermione he told you it wasn't a skill thing if you couldn't get to deconstruction," Harry reminded.
"I know," she sighed.
"Besides you got to use a cooler circle," Ron added. "Wait don't we have Alchemy with Hufflepuff tomorrow morning?"
"Yup, so we should get to the library now," Hermione cheered while him and Ron both groaned.