Stiles sniffled as he felt tears well in the corner of his eyes. He blinked rapidly, trying to dispel the moisture but a few stray tears managed to escape, Stiles briskly wiped them away with the sleeve of his hoodie. He couldn't believe that he was a blubbering mess right now, all because his dad said he was disappointed in him. Of course, John found out about the use of his powers. The man knew as soon as he had seen Stiles on the floor in the bathroom that he hadn't passed out and of course when the man asked him what happened, Stiles lied, the lie just came so easily that he couldn't help but tell it, but the worst part was that his dad wasn't even angry, he didn't yell or scream and in all honesty Stiles would have preferred it if he had because his angry words would have hurt far less then the look of disappointment that is still stuck in Stiles mind. Every time he pictures that look on his dad's face it feels like a knife is plunging through his heart. It cuts deeper then any words could.
He settled back further into the cold tiles of the roof and stares blankly up at the night sky. The sky was clear, not a cloud in sight. It feels like so long ago when he would climb up to the roof with his mum and watch the stars, she would point out the constellations and make up stories about how the stars came to be. She liked to theorize that the stars were the souls of people we love and that they would stay up there, shining brightly so that those who were left behind would always see them and know that they are not alone. Stiles has no doubt that his mum is one of those bright stars, watching over them.
Would she be disappointed in him too?
The tips of his fingers gently trailed across the jagged edges of the worn, red tiles. It felt like sandpaper beneath his skin but the rough surface was a welcome distraction to the overwhelming sensation of guilt coiling in his gut. The past twenty minutes Stiles has been contemplating the pros and cons of coming clean to his dad about all of the supernatural crap and so far the cons outweigh the pros. Stiles sighed. He scrubbed his hands over his eyes, trying to dispel every thought from his brain before he drives himself insane.
A thump echoed off the roof tiles a few feet from where he was laying. Stiles jumped forward into a sitting position, his bare feet pulled underneath him, ready to run. A pair of gold eyes cut through the blanket of darkness, like a knife through butter. The dull light of the street lamp below provided just enough light for Stiles to make out the hunched figure crouching at the edge of the roof. They brushed aside a stray curl and preceded to shuffle closer until Stiles could make out the familiar features of the wolf."...Hi." They whispered shyly.
Stiles is having a bad night as it is, he doesn't need the wolf popping up out of nowhere unannounced and making things worse. "What the hell do you want, Isaac?" Stiles all but growled.
"I don't want anything." He answered, "I thought I'd come check up on you, see if you were OK. You scared the crap out of me when you passed out." Stiles sneered. He doesn't need the wolf's faked sympathy. "Oh, boo hoo, The poor puppy is upset, why don't you go crawling back to your Alpha, I'm sure he'll lick your wounds clean." The wolf nodded, giving no outward sign that the comment had affected him, instead Isaac said,
"I deserve that." Stiles glanced at the teen from the corner of his eye, he hadn't expected that, however, those three words don't change anything. He pushed his legs out in front of him and turned slightly to the left so that he had a better view of the other man. If the werewolf was going to lie to him then Stiles would rather see his face while he did. "You deserve a whole worse than that, Isaac."
"I agree," He replied. The wolf shuffled closer until they were sitting side by side, both staring out into the dark expanse of the preserve which ran behind the Stilinski house. They were so close now that their arms brushed together with every small movement. It almost felt comforting; almost. Isaac continued speaking after a breath of silence," And if you want to hit me or throw wolfsbane in my face then go right ahead. I'm not going to stop you." Stiles sighed, there Isaac goes again, pretending like he understands how he feels. Stiles doesn't need his false pity. Although, a small voice in the back of his mind urged him to shut up and hear the wolf out, reminding him about the warm feeling in his chest whenever the other teen's arm brushes against his. Damn you teenage hormones."Don't play with me-" Isaac quickly cut him off before he could finish.
"I'm not playing. You deserve a proper apology, Stiles, not just from the pack but Scott too. We've been horrible lately and there is no excusing that. You deserve so much better than that-" The 'human' interrupted with a scoff.
"Damn right I do-"
"So let me be the first to apologize for the part I played. I never wanted to hurt you." Stiles scoffed again, "After Gerard happened," He couldn't help but flinch at the name, "Derek was so pissed but for some stupid reason he still wanted Scott to join the pack and when he asked us to do everything we possibly could to make sure Scott joined we didn't fight it, even when he suggested that you be excluded from pack business because you were too weak to handle it all. I knew he was wrong but I didn't question it. I deluded myself into thinking that if you weren't around us then you would be safe from all of this supernatural bullshit." It's just another bullshit excuse. The pack wouldn't do anything without their dear Alpha's consent and even then it doesn't excuse everything that's happened.
Stiles cleared his throat before asking, "So instead of standing up for me you decided to bully me and make me feel worthless and disgusting?" Tears prickled at the corners of his eyes. The words hurt to say, it's one thing to feel a certain way about yourself but it's something else entirely to tell someone that you view yourself as worthless. Stiles shuffled across the rough tiles, putting some distance between himself and the wolf. Isaac reached out a tentative hand, seeming to smell the sadness radiating off him but Stiles flinched away from the touch. The wolf dropped his hand with a sigh. "I can not begin to say how sorry I am for that. Things with the pack started escalating and Scott was only adding fuel to the fire. I didn't know how else to protect you without completely pushing you away." At the mention of Scott's name Stiles turned to face the other teen. Isaac had caught his attention. "What do you mean by Scott adding fuel?" Stiles asked. However, the wolf didn't answer, instead, he silently swore under his breath, "Isaac, tell me. Now." His voice left no room for argument and the other teen seemed to sense the finality of his words because Isaac sighed and hung his head in defeat. His words were muffled at first, barely audible even with the defining silence from the street below. "It was just small things at first, he'd mock you when you left the table, make jokes about the way you dressed but then Scott started to place little seeds of doubt in Erica's mind. He kept asking her what happened with Gerard, how you knew where they were and how you managed to escape when they didn't. Scott did everything he could without openly saying that you were involved in Argent's plan." Stiles felt like he was going to be sick.
Involved? He barely escaped that basement alive and with his sanity intact. Why would anyone voluntarily put themselves in that situation? Scott was the one that made that ridiculous deal with Gerard Argent, not him, and now to find out that his so-called best friend is trying to shift the blame onto his shoulders, it's a sickening feeling. Stiles feels dirty. Disgusting. Wrong. "Are you fucking-What the-I would never!" Stiles couldn't even form a cohesive sentence, he didn't know what to think anymore. Isaac reached his hand out again. When Stiles didn't flinch away the Beta took his hand between his and squeezed gently, almost comforting.
"I know that. Scott was just so convincing though." Stiles ripped his hand away from the wolf before he could finish speaking. His words were like a slap in the face.
"So is a telemarketer," Stiles screamed. By now he was sure that his dad had heard the commotion and was silently listening in but right now he couldn't find the strength to care, "but you don't buy everything they're trying to sell you!"
"I know…" Isaac whispered brokenly. "But Derek said he'd fix it. When you left the diner with your dad, he demanded to know what was going on and so I told him everything. Dude, I've never seen him so angry before. He could barely control the shift, I've never seen him like, but by tomorrow morning everything will be back to normal."
"Normal? Isaac, there is nothing normal about any of this and to be honest I don't give a shit whether or not the pack ever speaks to me again. An apology from you and Derek's idea of 'fixing' it isn't going to change anything, tomorrow Erica will still be pissed, Scott will still be an ass hole and Boyd will still be…Boyd. Nothing will change." Stiles paused to take a deep breath. He suddenly felt so tired, he just wanted to curl up into a ball and sleep. "…I can't do this right now, can you just leave?"
Stiles stood and slowly shuffled along the ruff tiles of the roof. He crouched down at the edge, one hand stretched behind him, his fingers tightly wound around the edge of a broken tile while his free hand reached down below him and grabbed a hold of the wooden runs that ran up the side of the house. He swung himself down with what little upper body strength he still possessed. Stiles' feet landed against the pane of his window with a soft thud. He steadied himself with a hand against the side of the house before quickly ducking inside. Surprisingly his bedroom door was still closed. Stiles had been so sure that his dad would have at least checked up on him but his room was untouched, even the piece of paper he had taken to sliding between his closed door was still stuck in its place, undisturbed.
The teen sighed. He paced across the room to his small bed and flopped down against the warm covers. He was about to roll over and close his eyes when he heard a thump from his window. Stiles sat up quickly, a growl rumbling from his throat. "Damn it-"
"Tell me what to do." The beta interrupted, "I'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that I'm truly sorry. I will get down on all fours and follow you around like a dog for the rest of my life it that's what it takes, Or I…I'll insult Derek to his face and let you watch while he beats the crap out of me. Whatever you want I'll do it." The wolfs movements were erratic, his fingers twitched by his side and he paced back and forth in front of the window but his clear blue eyes remained locked to Stiles, never wavering."Why are you doing this?" Stiles sighed. His fingers tangled in the soft blue comforter. "Apologizing, following me around like a lost puppy, trying to make things better. Why the hell are you doing all this?" Isaac's apology had taken him by surprise at first, it was unexpected and even though he still doesn't believe what the other teen is saying, his words still seemed to lift a weight off his shoulders. Stiles felt lighter in a sense. However, there is still a tiny voice in the back of his mind that keeps laughing at him, whispering that this is all a joke, the pack wouldn't apologize or admit their wrong, his life is a joke to them.
Isaac crossed the room in two large strides. He stood before Stiles, rubbing his sweaty palms against his thighs and blurted out in a single breath, "Because you were right before, at the diner. I've been a complete jerk lately, I didn't realize exactly how bad I've been treating people, especially you until you were yelling at Derek and it got me thinking about everything. This guy, I don't recognize who he is anymore. I don't want to be this person, Stiles, I don't want to have to lie about how I'm feeling or pretend that I'm some emotionless asshole. I'm so sick of being afraid of how I feel about you and so I thought that if I apologized and tried to make up for all the bad I've done then it would be the first step in making things better!"
Stiles whispered so softly that he barely heard his own voice, "You like me?" Isaac's wide, fearful eyes were the only answer he got before the beta wolf turned and jumped out of Stiles bedroom window.
Liar.