Disclaimer: Phineas and Ferb and all characters associated with Phineas and Ferb are the intellectual property of Dan Povenmire, Jeff "Swampy" Marsh and Disney.

The story, characters, and incidents portrayed are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased) or events is intended or should be inferred. Please review this story to let me know what can be improved or revised. Thank you.

Perry

There's something very off about Diana. She's lying to me, I know that. She's hiding something that's clearly important to her. And I have a sneaking suspicion that she's got a crush on me. The sudden want to spend the night with me had been a major tipoff, just as the "whatcha doin'" had been.

But I don't have time for attachments like romance. I have enough weaknesses as it is. Phineas and Ferb were bad enough for my record, especially ever since the other dimension incident. Not that that really matters, I would never let anyone hurt my boys.

But Diana… she's hiding something and I want to know what it is. If she does in fact have a crush on me, then she'll be trying to spend even more time with me. If I don't know what it is she's hiding, then it could put us both in danger. I don't want to bother with that kind of crap on my vacation.

I also suspect that she knows that I'm an O.W.C.A. agent. She watches me intently when I'm talking or looking around. I can tell she knows that I'm doing more than just being observant. And that's fine and all. It's not like I'm trying to hide it, I was being pretty obvious about it. My observations of her had told me a lot. If she wants to tell me about them, that's up to her.

But right now, I want to focus on the next few hours. We're almost to the concert hall, and I have to say, I'm stoked. I've never been to a Love Händel concert before, and their newest album is pretty good, in my opinion at least.

And I don't have to be there alone! That's what's most exciting about this. After the other day and learning that Pinky wouldn't be able to come, I'd been having seconds thoughts about going. But now I wouldn't have to spend my time alone.

Then again, I keep telling myself, she's clearly hiding something. What is it that she's hiding? How much does she know? How much are you willing to learn?

We finally arrive at the stadium after about ten minutes of walking. Diana has thoroughly attached herself to my side. I don't protest, but I seriously hope she isn't trying something. One, I barely know her and we were only just starting to become friends. Two, I know she's hiding something from me, and I from her. And three, I don't need more distractions, as I've already noted.

I hand my tickets to the man standing at one of the entrances to the stadium. I can tell he's more than a little surprised that two animals with hair dye are handing him tickets, but this time, I'm prepared.

I pull out my phone and play an audio file, recorded by Carl Karl.

"Yes, yes we are animals. We're perfectly legal, if that's what you're concerned about. We're trained like humans, so you don't have to worry about any kind of mess."

The man blinks at us before shaking his head. "Well then," he says, tearing the tickets and handing us back the stubs, "enjoy the concert, I guess."

I catch him shaking his head in disbelief as we walk in. I smirk at the strange idea of two random animals native to the Outback walking around L.A. ordering food, staying at hotels and going to concerts. Seems rather unbelievable.

Which is why it's a good thing this concert has an animals only section, specifically for intelligent animals such as Diana and myself.

"Where'd you get that voice?" Diana asks me.

I turn to her. "A friend of mine recorded it. I have a few others that we can use as well."

"So where are we going to be sitting? I've never been to something like this before."

"There's a section of the stadium that was recently added on specifically for intelligent animals like us. I memorized this place's floor plan, so stick with me and we'll find it in no time!" I begin to lead us to the concessions. "But first, let's get something to eat!"

"We literally just ate twenty minutes ago," she laughs at me.

"I know, I'm starving, too," I smirk. She rolls her eyes at me. "Have you ever had pizza? And what kind of meats do you eat?"

She blinks at me. "Um, no, I've never had pizza. And, well, I don't eat platypus, if that helps any."

I smile at her. "I don't think anyone really eats platypus, since we're protected under law from stuff like that. And you're in for a treat! Pizza's this weird combination of foods, like cheese, bread, tomato, and tons of possible toppings! It's delicious!"

"It sounds, um, different," she says hesitantly.

"Okay, then let's just get regular cheese pizza to introduce you to it."

I drag us up to one of the concession stands and pull out my phone again. I knock on the edge of the stand to get someone's attention. The person manning it looks down at us with a small look of shock. I play another audio file.

"Hello," came Carl's nasally voice again, "I'd like two slices of cheese pizza, please."

The man stares at us for a few moments, unsure of what to do. In response to his inactivity, I pull out my wallet and wave a wad of money at him.

That certainly works. Within a minute he has his money and we have ourselves two freshly cooked slices of pizza. After making certain that we both have plates and napkins, we sit down at a table.

Diana stares down at her slice. "I have no idea how to eat this."

I stifle a laugh. "You pick it up by the crust and just take a bite." I pick my slice up and take a large bite out of the end. Cheese ends up getting stuck up under my bill, and I start trying to slurp it in, but it's no use.

Diana starts to giggle at me trying to get the strand of cheese off of myself. She then grabs her own slice and takes a careful bite out of it. After a few seconds of chewing on it, she relaxes and swallows.

"Oh my God, this is good," she whispers.

"Told ya!" I say, finally getting the strand off. I take another bite and swallow. "I don't eat it very often, since it's pretty fattening, but occasionally indulging oneself shouldn't be a problem!"

"It's delicious! Thank you," she smiles.

For a split second, I feel my face heating up before I get myself under control. "You're welcome. Thanks for coming."

"No, thank you for taking me. I never imagined I'd get to do something like this."

I smile at her and take another bite to keep myself from saying something stupid. I don't need to develop anything more than a friendship.

But if that's all I want, then why do I keep telling myself that?

I sigh to myself. Because you don't know anything about her, that's why. Also, your job, remember? Attachments are hindrances.

I stuff the rest of the pizza in my mouth and quickly swallow it. It's now that I realize that Diana's going to need that medicine later, otherwise her intestines will be disagreeing with her later.

After she's finished her slice, we head towards the extension. There, we won't get anymore weird looks from people. Really, we probably should've come in through the extension's entrance. Then again, I'd wanted pizza.

I quickly usher us into the extension. We walk past a yellow labrador almost instantly. We make our way over to the edge of the extension, which is a glass wall looking down at the stadium. The wall doesn't stretch up all the way to the ceiling, so as not to block out all the sound. There are about twenty other animals in there, though, Diana and I are the most exotic.

We sit down and look down at the stadium. Despite us being a little under an hour early, the stadium is already getting full.

"Have you heard the songs in this album yet?" I ask, turning to Diana.

She shakes her head. "Not really. I've heard one or two of them, but I don't really know them."

"My favorite song from it is Robot Riot. Though, I suppose I'm a little biased, since I was one of the first who heard it."

"I'm so excited!" Diana almost squealed. "You don't know how much this means to me! I've never done something like this!"

I smile at her again. She's said that multiple times now, but I don't mind. Her excitement was understandable. Hell, I'm doing everything I can not to jump up and down and yell out!

"Well, well, well," a voice comes from behind us. I quickly turn to see a bulldog standing a short ways away from us. "If it isn't the beautiful Diana."

Diana's eyes widen and she shoots out of her chair. "What are you doing here?!"

"I'm here for the concert, but seeing you makes this so much better. Maybe you and I could go out back and, you know…" he smirks at her.

I slowly get out of my chair, sensing that something is very wrong. "Who's this, Diana?"

"Oh, are you a client or something?" the bulldog asks me. "Lucky you~."

"No!" Diana almost screams. "Please, just go away…"

"Oh, come on, babe, haven't you missed your favorite customer?" he grins and begins walking over to us. Diana rushes behind me, as if trying to hide.

My eyes slide from her to the bulldog. "Look," I start, "I don't know what's going on, but she clearly doesn't want to talk to you. Why don't you just keep a distance so she's not so uncomfortable."

"What, you her boyfriend or something? 'Cause if so, there's something you need to know," he sneers as he says this.

I don't flinch. "Whether I was or not doesn't really matter; she's hiding from you. And I'm partial to the person hiding from the person who's advancing."

"Aw, is poor little Diana hiding behind the little man? You know that isn't going to work, Di. If I wanted, I could go straight through him."

I do not want a fight on my hands. I could seriously hurt this guy. He's very clearly not trained in hand-to-hand combat like me, and if I end up fighting him, he could get killed. That's not exactly what I need.

"Look, we all just need to cool down," I say. "Why don't we all just walk away?"

"Don't, Perry," I hear Diana whisper behind me. "It'll make things worse…"

I notice the other animals are crowding around us. I have no idea if they're friends of this guy or just bystanders.

"Oh, do you think you're some bigshot, huh, little man?"

"No," I say, trying choosing my words carefully. "I just think that none of us want to miss the concert."

"Oh, trust me, I'm much more interested in her than some songs. She's much more exciting."

I feel Diana cringe behind me and hear her whimper slightly. I relax my posture, now sensing this guy's intentions. It makes me sick.

"Come on, Diana," I mumble. "We should go and get different seats." She grips my paw as I say this and I feel her nod with my electroreceptors.

"Oh, I don't think so," the bulldog steps in front of us as I begin to lead us out. "I'd like to 'talk' to Diana, if you don't mind."

"And I'd like to avoid a fight," I say crisply.

"Oh, so you do think you're some tough guy. Cocky little bastard, ain't ya?"

"Hardly. There's a distinct difference between cockiness and confidence."

At that, the bulldog's eye twitches and he throws a fist at me. In one swift movement, I push Diana away from us and grab the bulldog's paw. I twist it and shove him to the floor, holding his arm straight behind his back.

"I'm sorry, I thought we were trying to avoid a fight," I say, acid dripping in my voice.

"Agh, what the hell are you," the bulldog exclaims.

Excellent question, I think to myself. I understand his confusion. I weigh about ten pounds and I'm holding a sixty pound bulldog down with one arm.

"I'm someone who doesn't want a fight. In fact, I think that's what you want, too, isn't it?"

"You bastard! The moment I get free I'm gonna—!"

I twist his paw slightly, earning a yelp of pain from him. "Gonna what? I think you were about to say that you were gonna walk away. That is what you were gonna say, isn't it?"

"Goddammit, let me go, you motherf—" I twist even harder, getting a genuine cry of pain from him. "Alright, yes, I'm sorry! Let me go, I'll walk, I'll walk!"

I twist on his arm one last time for good measure then let go, letting him completely collapse to the floor. It's as he's falling that I notice Diana running out of the room.

"Diana!" I call after her, running to catch up.