Phox: Yay! Chapter Seven brought to you by~ -Ditkata, HidanAndKakuzusGirl, & FanGirlMania-

Hidan: Your boobs are smaller than mine.

Phox: TAKE THAT BACK, BITCH!

Hidan: Fucking Make ME!

Phox: And now~ On with warnings:

Yaoi

Language

OOC & OC

MPREG

Fem!Hidan, Fem!Deidara, & Fem!Sasori

Read! At! Own! Risk!

Pairing(s) : Kakuzu X Hidan & Sasori X Deidara

"Right this way, ladies. My room is just up here."

Gomi led Hidan, Deidara, and Sasori upstairs in the inn after Kakuzu retreated to his room to join Zetsu. The target's room was directly above theirs so they could keep an ear out for Phox's signal. It was best to insure the man stayed alive as long as possible however if something were to get out of hand -which they all doubted would happen- they would bring him back to base for interrogation. He was a man that worked for a rival organization that was also after pursuing the Jinchuuriki.

–

"Zetsu, do you think Hidan meant what he said?" Kakuzu questioned, downing another bottle of cheap alcohol.

It had been roughly ten minutes since he had left Gomi for the room. Zetsu was shocked to find him with a few bottles when he arrived. Although he said nothing about it, reaping what he could. He was still only on his first bottle while Kakuzu had just finished his second. Zetsu, to say the least, was worried.

"What did he say?"

"He-He told me 'No sex for a-a month.'" Kakuzu stuttered.

"Hm. That will be troublesome for you then. Expecting a child and all that." Zetsu muttered thoughtlessly.

"Child?"

"Wha! Ah, he didn't say child, no! He said you were expecting a um... uh... a guest, Kakuzu. It's not polite to greet a guest when your temperamental from lack of sex. If that's true then may I ask what the hell Phox was thinking? I'm sure they'll be able to- well... Nah. Best not to risk things."

"See this, Zetsu? This... That is why you don't have no babes." Kakuzu poked Zetsu then continued, "What if I were to sell Hidan for 5$?"

"If that were the case, you wouldn't get to fuck him for a year. Maybe longer." Zetsu sighed, rolling his eyes. This was going to be a long night...

–

As soon as the trio entered the room, Sasori and Hidan clung to an arm of their target each. This was to distract Deidara so he could find a place to hide Phox.

"Hey Mister, where's your bed?" Hidan gave his arm a slight squeeze.

"I have it in another room." He laughed then directed all attention to him, "You don't seem as shy as before."

"Oh, that's because I've gotten used to your appearance. It was so breathtaking before." He immediately swallowed the bile that started to rise.

"Ah, I get that a lot, dear. Now, how about you join me on that arm chair while your little friends take the couch?" He gave a crooked smile, pulling Hidan to the chair.

Hidan followed and resisted the urge to plunge a pike through his heart when he was pulled into the man's lap. He motioned for Sasori and Deidara whom finished hiding the cat. Once they were seated on the couch, the man gave them directions. It was a good thing Deidara and Sasori were used to most of what was instructed.

"You sure are perverted, Mister." Hidan giggled, turning away from the make-out session on the couch.

"Oh? You haven't seen nothing yet, Hisako. I'm just getting started and it looks like they are too." Gomi laughed, groping Hidan.

"Ah! I h-hope you don't mind my asking, but... do you rent from Kakuzu often?" Hidan asked, struggling to put a lid on his temper.

"I used to purchase some time about thirty-five years ago. After some time though he vanished and we, meaning those in the business, haven't heard of him since."

"Oh, Danna!" Deidara moaned, bringing attention back to the couch.

"Danna?" Gomi questioned.

"Er, Kakuzu taught Aoi to call Akane that. He said you liked yuri..." Hidan explained. A lie, of course, since Kakuzu had said nothing about his former job.

"That is true. He is quite amazing. I wonder if he would be interested in joining my organization..." Gomi trailed, letting his hand slip inside the crimson kimono.

"O-Organization?" Hidan gasped, 'Mother fucking pervert! Sick, twisted fuck!'

"Yes... how about I tell you were it's quieter?" Gomi breathed in his ear, standing up.

He started to pull Hidan away from the occupied artists and into a nearby room. Phox saw this and growled, releasing the jutsu on Sasori to reserve chakra and hopefully punish the fools later. They were supposed to ensure Hidan would stay in line of sight at all times! It would be bad if Hidan were to snap. She whipped around in mid-transformation and left to fetch Kakuzu and Zetsu for back-up.

–

"Oi, Zetsu. Sh~ Did ya hear that? Sh!" Kakuzu hushed a quiet Zetsu.

"Kakuzu, you need help..." The plant scoffed, rolling his eyes.

He listened anyways and looked to the ceiling where Kakuzu had indicated to. There was a yelp followed by a thump. Zetsu's eyes widened and he stood up, scurrying to the door just as Phox barged in.

"Zetsu, quick Hidan left line of sight. The artists are fucking on the couch and we need you to... Why is Kakuzu drunk?" She deadpanned as Kakuzu started pulling her cat tail.
"Why do you have a tail?"

"You've got to be kidding me..." She growled, "Trust a woman to have to do everything in this organization."

She yanked her tail from Kakuzu then placed a swift kick to the gut. He collapsed, coughing then sat up on his knees, still holding his stomach. Phox pulled out a vile and tilted Kakuzu's head back. A moment later Kakuzu blinked then rubbed his eyes.

"What the fuck happened?" He grumbled.

"No time to explain, Hidan's alone with that pervert!" Phox snapped, pulling him up and dragging him from the room.

They hurried upstairs to their target's now-vacant room. Kakuzu glanced to Phox to ask where they were but before he could open his mouth she pointed to a door to the side. He broke away from her grip and kicked open the door. After that he only remembered red.

–

"Damnit, Kakuzu... you murdered him." Phox pouted having only seen the head roll to a stop at her feet.

"Murdered? More like butchered." Zetsu gaped, stepping into the bloody room.

Kakuzu ignored them, kneeling on the bed next to Hidan. As they got closer they noticed the immortal was not only unconscious but nude.

"This... is not good." Phox gulped.

... This is VERY GOOD! No?

Review soon but I warn you I haven't finished the next chapter. Only started it while currently working on KakuHida; The Rare Fluff.