Phox: Yay! Chapter Eight brought to you by~ -Ditkata & katizo terusei-

Hidan: Finally out of that chick bod!

Phox: For now, Hidan, for now.

Hidan: … You're a dead man.

Phox: And now~ On with warnings:

Yaoi

Language

OOC & OC

MPREG

Read! At! Own! Risk!

Pairing(s) : Kakuzu X Hidan & Kisame X Itachi (hinting for now...)

"Mn... Kuzu?"

"I'm right here, Hidan." Hidan sighed when he felt something stroke his hair.

Kakuzu pulled back when Hidan's eyes snapped open. He bolted up and looked around the room. He looked on edge until Kakuzu pulled him back down into his embrace.

"What happened to that bastard?" Hidan mumbled.

"It's okay, I killed him." Kakuzu replied, nuzzling his gray locks.

"What? 'Okay!'? Kakuzu! We weren't supposed to kill him!" Hidan hissed.

"I know but I couldn't help it! He was going to rape you..." Kakuzu snarled at the memory, pulling Hidan closer to him.

"... That would explain why I don't remember anything..." Hidan murmured thoughtfully, struggling to loosen Kakuzu's hold.

"Hidan, stop acting like it doesn't matter!" Kakuzu snapped, holding Hidan in place at arms length now. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?"

"You were worried about me, fuckface?" Hidan blinked in disbelief.

"You've been out of it for two weeks." Kakuzu cried, crushing Hidan once more.

"Two fucking weeks? That mother fucking little fuck!" Now Hidan was pissed.

"Phox said we should be perfectly fine though. You don't seem to have any lasting damage and she's managed to give you plenty of nutrition." the elder comforted, stroking his uke's hair once more.

"What about Sasori and Deidara?"

"Those two left you so they could have some fun..." Kakuzu frowned.

"Tch. Knew it."

"Did you know they're also in the medical wing?"

"You didn't!" Hidan's eyes widened and his jaw dropped.

"They got what they deserved..." Kakuzu trailed innocently.

"You're a jackass... why am I still a bitch?" Hidan finally got a good look at his body since Kakuzu had released him.

"Phox recommended it." He answered, then smirked as he reached to stroke Hidan's sides. "I wonder what it would be like... to try you like this?"

"You're a fucking pervert!" Hidan flushed yet made no move to stop the caresses, "And we're both gay..."

"Didn't stop Sasori and Deidara..." Kakuzu smirked, bringing their lips together.

No need to mention that Sasori was actually bisexual...

–

"Where are Kakuzu and Hidan?"

It was the middle of the afternoon after Hidan had regained consciousness. Phox had gathered Kabuto, Itachi, and his partner in a clearing near Kisame and Itachi's place. They had to discuss the recent events.

"Still in bed I think." She replied, still looking to the clouds.

"Is Hidan alright?" Kisame murmured, exchanging a quick glance with Itachi.

"He should be... I won't be able to tell until he's back in male form. Then I'll take him to Kabuto whom will bring him to Orochimaru. Now that will be the hard part." She replied, taking her eyes from the sky.

"May we ask why you transformed Hidan if he's already been given the potion?" Kabuto inquired.

"It's a backup plan. We already know a male can become pregnant when under influence of my transformation jutsu." She kept her eyes trained on Itachi and Kisame as she explained.

"Hm. I see, that is wise although... what if that man had managed to take advantage of 'Hisako'?" Kisame frowned for a change.

"... I'm sure you know what the outcome would be." Phox sighed, bringing her eyes back to the sky.

–

Two additional weeks later and the Akatsuki were gathered together at Phox and Zetsu's lair. This excluded Pein and Konan though since Phox had called the meeting. Although it was more of a training party instead. Their lair was one of the largest and most homely save the leader's lair.

"Alright, gather 'round. Hidan, Deidara, could you save the killing attempts for training?" Phox boomed, silencing the explosions.

"Tch, who died and put you in charge, bitch?" Hidan snapped, sitting on a loveseat with his partner while Deidara joined his on another.

"I'm not a bitch, I'm a pussy." This earned a laugh from the two rowdy members. "Now that I've got your attention... Itachi... why did I call this meeting again?" Phox laughed nervously.

"Well it's certainly not to discuss our very own immortal lovers." Itachi answered in a monotone.

"Wow... the almighty emotionless Uchiha is capable of sarcasm. Fascinating." Phox drawled with a smirk. Itachi replied, "I try."

"Wait. This meeting's about us?" Kakuzu rumbled, glancing down at his partner.

"Apparently... or at least according to Uchiha." Phox grinned, punching the weasel's shoulder then running to the far end of the cavern, "Really though, just ignore him. The truth is we need to start training. Let's go over the schedule then, shall we?"

–

Hidan grumbled under his breath, following Phox to one of the training rooms. She scheduled him first for one-on-one with herself while Kakuzu was overseeing the artists' training and Zetsu overlooked Kisame and Itachi. He stepped in the middle of the room while she paced around him. Both were on edge, Hidan more-so.

"Well now, Hidan. I have a few questions and requests to ask of you. Think you'll be able to concentrate on the fight at the same time?" She taunted.

"Bring it on!" He laughed, going to withdraw his pike.

"Wait, I am advising against weapons." Phox's eyes narrowed, "You rely too much on them. Your taijutsu is worse than Deidara's."

"You're pissing me off..." Hidan grumbled, reluctantly throwing away his weapons.

"First question; Since that one night before the concubine incident, have you been feeling tired more often?" She lashed out.

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Hidan managed, catching her fist.

"Just answer it, dumb-fuck!" She snarled, sending another punch while raising a leg.

"Tch, so temperamental." He caught her fist, "I guess I have been but Kakuzu's been fucking me almost every-" He was caught off guard by the kick and blocked with a knee.

"Next question," She sprang away and he caught himself as he stumbled, "Any odd cravings?"

"Cravings?" Hidan rose a brow then lunged.

"Odd foods?" She sidestepped, watching in amusement when he scrambled to his feet, "No, I haven't."

"I see. Interesting. Now for a request." She straightened herself and gave him a curious once-over.

"Shit. I thought fighting hand-to-hand was your request." He scoffed, crossing his arms.

"Ah but alas, my pea-brained pawn, that is only a part." She looked to the ceiling, "You are to refrain from seriously maiming yourself." She gave him a hard stare, "You are not aloud to have your heart stop in any way, shape, or form for any amount of time."

"But that would be blasphemous!" Hidan cried.

"Blasphemous, yet a direct order if you wish to keep your freedom." She growled, "You will stay with Kakuzu until further notice. Until I call for you... I recommend this." She held out a slip of paper.

'Kakuzu is a cheapskate and it is advised to buy pregnancy tests in bulk to save money.' It read, 'P.S. I also advise you destroy this note and try not to freak out.'

"WHAT THE FUCK?"

'So much for not freaking out...'