Maryse Lightwood arrives at the Institute. A lot of emotional exposition and exploration for all characters involved. Also: Magnus being just... soft and sweet.

Notes:

Oh, goddess and all the angels. This was so incredibly painful to write. I do hope you find some pleasure in reading it nevertheless. I thought it was necessary in such a fic to offer another side of Maryse's sternness and her character development in season 3 is beautiful, even if it's not shown enough. Also, Magnus is in this. And will be a lot in the next chapter. Comment and tell me what you liked and what you really find annoying (I am sure there is something) and you will have made my day. 3

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"Alec."

Maryse Lightwood spoke the name of her oldest son with care. There was a tinge of emotion somewhere between the two vowels that prompted Alec to swivel around, hastily pulling down the new shirt into which he had been changing, only barely able to hide the enormous bruise on his chest that was only slowly fading, or the bandage on his back from his mother's eyes.

She stood at the doorway, breathing deeply and evently, a deep furrow squarely lodged between her dark eyebrows. She wore her dark, dense hair, pulled back into a long braid and the effect added to her usual air of straightforward tightness.

There was a moment's hesitation in which Alec didn't move. He just looked at her, steeling himself against the onslaught of reprimand and disapproval that was surely about to be placed on his already hurting shoulders. Alec had stopped breathing, holding his breath like an armour.

Jace could tell that his brother was incapable of moving and decided to step in, forever fighting beside Alec, forever protecting him. Even against the disapproval of their mother. "Maryse." But as well meaning as his manoeuver was, as well aimed it was to take off all the attention of Alec, as impossible it was to distract Maryse Lightwood, former head of the New York Institute, commander of Shadowhunters and fierce fighter for the Clave. She simply ignored Jace all together, her eyes fixed on Alec.

"Mum." Alec knew as much. His shoulders had hunched forward almost instantly when he had hear his mother's voice and now finally, he had let go of the eternal breath meant to steady him.

"By the angel…!" What happened then was utterly unexpected… probably to all in the room. Alec found himself wrapped in what in any other family would be considered a motherly hug, full of emotion, gentleness and strength. A combination that only a mother could manage and that neither Alec nor Jace had much experience in.

"Are you all right…? Jace? You both look like you are in shock…" Jace managed to regain his senses first and extracted himself from his side of the hug, looking at her with astonishment. "Well, yeah…"

The ambiguity of his remark was lost on Maryse however, who continued to search Alec's face for some kind of reaction. "What happened…? No… wait. I don't need to know what happened. I just came in with Brother Zacharias who's already in the infirmary. How bad is it…? How is Isabelle..?"

Alec wanted to say the words, wanted to break the spell that had him without words… word… such important words, ending words. Heartbreaking words. But all he managed was a painful expression while Jace shook his head.

Maryse's betrayed her emotions only through a sharp intake of breath, her already imposing frame suddenly going completely rigid. She swallowed and closed her eyes for a moment, before once more staring intently at Alec. Behind her stone hard exterior a war between two completely contrary motivations was taking place. A war between the horrible mix of emotions of a mother that had just learnt that her only daughter was on the brink of death and the softening concern of a mother that wished to comfort her son.

He feels responsible. How could he not…? By the Angel, they are both still so young… The thought flashed across her conscious mind while her heart had already won the battle and finally, another breath broke her exterior hard shell, she had gotten so good at projecting.

"Alec." She called out once again, this time conveying all the gentleness and affection she held for her oldest son.

An older brother and son who wasn't prepared to receive such softness. Deep creases across his forehead had darkened his expression while he wondered what was happening. The whole situation was incomprehensible to him. His brain wasn't processing it. How could she not blame him? It was completely out of character for his mother to show such emotion and even go as far as offer consolation to him. Of all people. Had she not been the one to train all of her children that emotion was a weakness that needed to be battled during a lifetime? That emotions were at the opposing end of personal sacrifice when it came to their mission to serve the Clave in all matters? That, only level-headed decisions were good decisions and that nothing good came out of listening to your heart or your gut?

How could that same woman stand there, a heartbroken grimace pulling at her mouth and tears filling her eyes?

"It's ok." Seeing his strong and proud mother cry wasn't something Alec was ready for. He had managed to remain as detached as possible, managed to not let the depth and breadth of his sister's imminent death touch him or derail him. Had managed to remain on target. A leader. Strong. Someone his parents would and could be proud of. Someone that people looked up to. Someone who knew how to function.

But seeing his mother decompose herself in front of him, show herself this vulnerable to him and Jace, was too much. Alec Lightwood wasn't ready to let go of the security of his emotional detachment. He could tell that the depth of his pain was more than he was able to bear, so immense and vast, so bone crushing deep… Isabelle was dying. She would leave him behind. Heartbroken and alone. So deeply alone.

He let himself be wrapped up in his mother's arms once more, even offered his arms in return, but more than that he couldn't or wouldn't allow himself.

Maryse sensed that something within Alec was refusing to shift, that he couldn't let go of the control, years and years of teaching had instilled in him. Her eyes fell on Jace who stood behind Alec, his arms crossed, his expression unsure. He could sense Alec's turmoil, the confusion and the pain, but it was dampened and he noticed - not without some degree of frustration - that again, Alec had blended a protection into the bond, hiding the true fullness of his emotions and the depth of his pain.

Maryse, mother of many sufferings, wondered how much of Alec's internal pressure to keep face was in fact due to her misguided efforts of turning him into the perfect Clave soldier to right her personal sins, most of which her children knew nothing of. And how much it had actually hurt them all. Had hurt her relationship with her children, had shaped their self-appreciation. Had solidified her disconnection from her family and the people she cared most about. It was yet another thing she needed to atone for.

"Please,… I need to see Isabelle." Her words were but a whisper in Alec's ears, her voice heavy and he only nodded.

Jace and Alec trailed behind Maryse, waiting at the door to Isabelle's room in the infirmary level fo the institue, while the tall, fierce and strong mother gently approached her unconscious daughter's bed. She placed a light hand on Magnus's shoulder who was still connecting to Isabelle through a small tendril of light blue magic, offering him a sincere and open smile as he looked up, surprised to suddenly find her there.

Brother Zacharias was the only other person present, he had been drawing various unknown and arcane runes onto Isabelle's arm and now, retreated respectfully into the background.

Magnus noticed the change in the room and lowered his arm as well, severing the already dim connection between him and Isabelle's soul. He stood, offering a sympathetic look for Maryse, considering shortly hugging her, but eventually decided against it. The woman had barely accepted his role in her son's life and he had no right to ask more of her in a situation as difficult and emotional as this one. And so, Magnus Bane, stepped back in such a humble way… his critics would not have found possible. But tragic, that so many who saw only the hedonistic and overbearing warlock, failed to see that Magnus Bane was sensitive person, deeply emotional and deeply caring. His front of bravado, irreverence and fun, served him well, but it made him appear callous. This couldn't be further from the truth. Being there, in such a tragic moment, touched him deeply, rocked him to the core. Death had a different meaning to him. An Immortal. He would and could never get used to it. Even after these many years. The void that people left when they departed, the tragedy of forgetting, the senselessness of the silence after death. How the remaining soul would fold over into itself in an attempt to protect and preserve, remember and eternalise. And yet, it was just an illusion. In the end, everything and everyone would be forgotten. Nothing was remembered. Nothing remained.

"There's so much I still have to tell you, Isabelle… so much you haven't seen yet. There still is so much for you to experience." The thought alone was enough to break the last barriers, and as Maryse whispered them, tears finally welled from somewhere deep in her heart up into her eyes and spilled down her cheeks with nothing left to hold them back. She longed for someone to hold her as she accepted the final fate of her daughter dying. Another soldier dead for the Clave. But to her, she was a life half-spent. A daughter pressed into a mould as unforgiving as it was painful.

I am sorry, Maryse, she is too weak to be transported back to Idris. She would not survive a portal. Even with my help.

The words reverberated in her head and brought even more tears. Magnus pulled up a chair with a flick of his hand and eased her into it.

He had well noticed Alec and Jace at the door who now finally crossed into the room, wrapping both his strong arms around Maryse Lightwood.

When Magnus looked up again, Alec had disappeared.