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Three's a Crowd
The car rolled to a stop before I put it in park and shut off the engine. It was so good to be home. M y days of 36 hour shifts were over, but when you're one doctor down, they're necessary. I'd heard the Chief say he thought he'd found someone; so luckily, this was close to being over. For now though, my body was so tired I just wanted to fall in bed and sleep for the next 24 hours.
The house was quiet when I walked in which seemed unusual. Since it was just about four o'clock, the boys were normally up from their nap and running around like banshees. I called out for Bella, but there was no response. I glanced outside to see if I'd imagined her car there in my exhausted state, but there is sat, next to mine. Perhaps one of the girls had picked them up. That didn't seem likely though. Bella liked to be here when I got home from a long shift like this.
I looked around downstairs to no avail. Finally, I found her in the nursery. She rocked softly in the rocking chair Charlie had made for her with Elizabeth held close to her chest, eyes closed. It would have been such a peaceful picture had her brow not been furrowed. She looked troubled. I walked closer and laid a hand on her shoulder. She startled slightly then focused on me. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes.
"Welcome home," she greeted. I leaned down and kissed her softly causing her to sigh. "I missed you."
"I missed you too," I assured her then turned to kiss Bethy's head. "All of you." I looked back at Bella. Her eyes looked so troubled, so tired. I rubbed her cheek softly. "What is it, love? What's got you so worried?" It was quiet for a few minutes, and I thought she wasn't going to answer. Eventually she did, and it broke my heart.
"Am I a bad mother?" I could see the tears well in her eyes as her voice cracked on the last word.
"No, Bella! Of course not," I answered emphatically, scaring Bethy in the process. She squirmed and began to whimper. Bella shushed her and calmed her quickly. Once she was somewhat asleep, I took her from Bella and placed her in the crib. "Come on, baby." I held my hand out which she took immediately and led her to our room. "What's wrong, love? Where'd you ever get an idea like that?"
She turned away, and I could tell she was wiping the tears. She sniffed and took a deep breath. I pulled her to the bed where I sat against the headboard and pulled her to lay against my chest. It took her a few minutes, but she finally began talking.
"Gavin won't talk to me," she said hoarsely. "Right after you left on Monday, he got really quiet. I tried coaxing him to talk, but he wouldn't. I left him alone hoping he'd come to me when he was ready. He didn't, so when it was bedtime, I went to tuck him in figuring he'd had enough time to process whatever it was. He wouldn't let me tuck him in." I rubbed her arm hoping to sooth her. She was getting worked up again.
"Did he say why?" She shook her head.
"He won't talk to me, hasn't talked to me in 36 hours." She rubbed her cheek on my shirt.
"Let me go see if I can find out what's going on, okay?" She nodded and moved so I could stand.
"He's in his room." I kissed her again.
"You're a wonderful mother. Don't doubt that." She hesitated but finally nodded. I made my way to Gavin's room and opened the door. He sat on his bed drawing. When he heard his door, he looked up and smiled.
"Daddy!" He tossed his stuff to the side and ran at me full speed.
"Hey, buddy," I said as I caught and hugged him.
"I'm so glad you're home."
"Me too." I walked over to the bed and put him back down before lowering myself to lie on the bed. "What are you doing?"
"Writing a story." He showed me his drawings. He wrote stories with pictures; they were quite good pictures too.
"Wow. That's great, Gav." He nodded then went back to drawing. "Have you shown Mom?" I figured I'd ease him into it. He shook his head as his hand slowed. "What not? She'd love it."
"No she won't." I was a little taken aback by his harsh tone.
"I bet she would." He shook his head. "How come?"
"Mommy doesn't love me." His words combined with Bella's muffled sob cut through me. I should have known she'd be listening. I needed to find her, but I needed to address this first. I took a minute to calm myself and decide on the best approach.
"Why do you think that?"
"She loves Izzy," he said, using the nickname he and Ethan had given their little sister. "She spends more time with her. She don't want me." I shouldn't have been surprised. He was jealous of his sister. Most kids went through this stage. Ethan never had, fortunately, so I was caught off guard with Gavin.
"Just because Mommy spends a lot of time with Bethy doesn't mean she doesn't love you."
"Uh huh." Even though he was just a hurt little boy, I could feel myself grown a little angry. Didn't he know how much she did for him? It was almost like a light bulb going off in my head. That was my answer.
"Gavin, do I love you?" He looked at me sharply.
"Yes."
"How do you know?"
"You tell me," he said as if it were obvious. I nodded.
"Is that the only way you know?" He lay down on his side and propped his head on his hand mirroring me. I watched as he furrowed his brow in concentration, a spitting image of his mother in that moment.
"You spend time with me. You do other stuff."
"What kind of stuff?"
"You play with me. You take me to the museum. You pick me up from school. You take me to Nana's for candy." I had to remind myself not to laugh. I'd always take the kids to my parents if they wanted candy. Bella couldn't get mad if it was my parents supplying the sugar.
"So I show you I love you through my actions, by things I do?" His eyes lit up and he smiled.
"Yeah." I pushed myself up and sat facing him.
"Does Mommy do things for you?" His smile fell before he nodded slightly then dropped his eyes. "What does she do?" He was silent for a few seconds.
"She cooks."
"She does," I agreed. "Anything else?"
""She cleans my mess. She watches movies with me and teaches me to read. She takes me places, and we even go get ice cream sometimes, but she telled me not to say that." I couldn't contain a chuckle that time. That little minx! I was going to have to have a word with her.
"She does things for you, huh?" He nodded, never meeting my eyes. "So if I do things for you and I love you, doesn't that mean Mommy does things for you because she loves you too?" He sat up and crossed his legs before looking at me. He looked so upset, but underneath that, I could see the hurt.
"She loves Izzy more." His bottom lip quivered before he caught it with his teeth.
"No, Gavin. She loves Bethy different." He looked confused. "What does Mommy do for Bethy?"
"She feeds her and changes her diaper and holds her and plays with her."
"Does she do all that for you?"
"Not all."
"Do you need her to change your diaper?"
"Daddy, I don't wear a diaper."
"Do you need her to feed you?"
"No, Daddy. I'm a big boy."
"Bethy's not a big girl." He shook his head. "She needs things you don't. Bethy is small; she's not as strong as you. She can't help herself or protect herself." He nodded, and I could see the moment understanding reached him. She was fragile, and he was just now realizing it. "But you need things she doesn't, and Mommy gives you those things. Doesn't she?" He nodded again. "Why does she do that?"
"Because she loves me." I breathed a small sigh of relief; one crisis down, one to go. I moved to lean against the wall as I sat.
"Now, do you love Mommy?" He looked at me with a glare.
"Yes," he said defensively.
"How does she know?"
"I tell her. I stay with her when the thunder scares her." He'd always been scared of storms. So when one began, he'd run and jump in our bed. Ethan was making fun of him after one incident, and I didn't want him to feel bad. I told him I was proud of him for keeping Mommy safe while she was scared. "I maked her breakfast. I hug her and kiss her before bed at night. I do lots of stuff for Mommy." He crossed his arms over his chest. He had his mother's kitten-like anger.
"Did you do all those things for her while Daddy was at work?" His eyes widened before he dropped them from my gaze again before slowly shaking his head. "Do you think that makes Mommy happy?" He didn't answer. "How would you feel if Mommy or I didn't do those things for you?" His voice was barely a whisper.
"Sad."
"Do you think Mommy's sad?" He looked up, his eyes almost panicked.
"I don't want her to be sad."
"So what are you gonna do?" He sat up on his knees quickly.
"Gotta go." He hopped off the bed and fell in his haste. I was going to help him up, but he was gone in a flash.
I smiled and followed at a slower pace. My pace slowed as I heard Gavin's voice coming from mine and Bella's bedroom. Stopping just outside the door, I stayed out of sight and listened. I didn't want to interrupt. He needed to do this, and it needed to be his own words.
"I'm sorry I didn't let you tucked me in last night," he said remorsefully.
"Why didn't you, baby?" Bella asked. Her voice was still hoarse from the tears, but it didn't sound like she was still crying which was good. She hated crying in front of the boys.
"I was stupid."
"Gavin, no. You were not stupid. Don't ever say that about yourself or anyone else." I could just see her stern face. "Now tell Mommy why. I want to understand so I don't do anything to upset you again."
"You didn't do anything. I just wanted you to spend time with me, not Izzy."
"Did you feel like I was ignoring you?" He must have shaken his head, because there was no verbal response. "I'm so sorry, Gav. I never meant to ignore you. I promise, I'll do better in the future."
"No. I sorry. I was mean. I know Izzy needs more time. She's little."
"Yes, she is little. She needs me more times during the day than you or Ethan, but Gav, you and Ethan still need me too. At least I hope you do."
"I do! I need you! I will do better too, Mommy. I will 'member Izzy needs you too."
"And I'll do better. I'll spend more time with you. We can even go get ice cream in the next day or two if you want."
"Yeah!" he cheered, and I smiled. "Oh."
"What?"
"I kinda told Daddy." I held my laugh in.
"You did? Well, I guess he was going to find out some time." She sighed. "I love you, Gavin. I love you very much, and I want you to tell me in the future when you think I'm ignoring you. Don't hide it, baby. Okay? Promise?"
"Promise."
"Come here." I moved to stand in the doorway and watched as they hugged each other tightly. I could see some of the tension had eased in Bella.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Gav, why don't you go clean up your story? Mommy and I will start to get dinner ready," I said as they pulled apart.
"Okay," he agreed easily and slid off the bed to walk away. I stopped him and knelt down to be eye to eye with him.
"I'm proud of you, buddy. You did a good job fixing the mistake. Remember this in the future. It always feels better to be happy. Being mad only hurts; not just you, but the other person too." He nodded. "Go on, now." He walked away.
I shut the door and laid down pulling her against me. She burrowed into my side and let out a long breath. I kissed the top of her head and rubbed her back hoping to sooth her. I didn't say anything for a few minutes. I knew she'd be processing everything. I just hoped she'd be able to see this for what it was and let it go. It had nothing to do with her ability to be a mother.
"Better?" I asked quietly. She nodded.
"I know you're going to say this isn't my fault, but he'd have to get the idea from somewhere," she said just as quietly. "There's probably some truth to it."
"No baby. You do not ignore any of your children. He's just getting used to having a little sister. His world's shifted. He was used to being the youngest, needing the most attention and time. He's adjusting, and he didn't understand it. That's all. You're a wonderful mother." She turned her head to kiss my neck and snuggled further into me. "So wonderful, in fact, that you take him for ice cream." She giggled. "Oh no, missy." I pulled back so I could look down at her. "You are always lecturing me about their sweets intake and here you are sneaking it to them."
"At least I don't use my parents as an excuse." My smirk fell. She knew. "That's right. I'm not as blind or naïve as you think. Every time they beg, you take them straight to your parents. I can't say anything if it's Nana and Papa. You know exactly what you're doing." I tilted my head and smiled innocently.
"Guilty." She nodded knowingly. "You still love me though." She dropped the chagrin.
"Always." I leaned forward and kissed her softly before pulling away as a yawn escaped. "I'm so sorry I'm keeping you up. You must be exhausted. Why don't you sleep while I get dinner started? I can either wake you up to eat or put it away, make you a plate when you wake up. Which do you prefer?"
"Wake me up. I've missed my family, and I'd like to spend some with all of you." She smiled.
"I love you, Edward Cullen. You mean the world to me."
"And I love you, Mrs. Cullen. I'm damn lucky to have such an amazing woman as my wife and the mother of my children." I leaned in to kiss her again, but was interrupted by Bethy's cry over the baby monitor. I groaned. "It's like they all have a timer that's set to go off when I'm about to kiss you." She laughed.
"She had no idea, Edward. She's probably hungry. It's been a few hours since she ate." Bella was getting up when we heard another voice over the monitor. I sat up next to Bella as we listened.
"Shhh, Izzy," Gavin's voice cooed gently. "It's gonna be okay. We need to be good. Mommy's tired. She takes care of all us all the time. Let's let her rest. I'll take care of you until then." Bella turned to me with such a happy smile and tears glistening in her eyes.
"We've got great kids." I nodded in agreement.
"Give him time. He's coming around to her. Just listen. I wouldn't be surprised if he becomes her protector." We listened for a few more minutes as he talked to her, trying to calm her. Finally, Bella got off the bed.
"Sleep. I want you to get some rest before I wake you. I'll try to keep the boys quiet, but I guarantee nothing." I laughed and nodded before getting up to change into sleep clothes. As I crawled into bed, I listened to the monitor as Bella taught Gavin how to change a diaper. I laughed when he shrieked in disgust, but it made my heart feel full. I had such a wonderful family. I had such a blessed life.
AN: Howdy all! Long time, no type. :) I hope you enjoyed this. Now you know who baby number three is. We didn't get to see a lot of her, but I wanted to see more of Gavin.