Phox: Yay! Chapter Fourteen brought to you by~ -Ditkata, katizo terusei, HidanAndKakuzusGirl, & librarycat9-

Hidan: Tooo tireeddddd.

Phox: tooooo looooong

Hidan: pissssss offffff

Phox: And now~ On with warnings:

Yaoi

Language

OOC & OC

MPREG-s

Read! At! Own! Risk!

Pairing(s) : Kakuzu X Hidan, Kisame X Itachi, and Sasori X Deidara

Itachi sat by a crib, tucking in a little child with a tuft of dark, dark blue hair on it's head and pale blue skin covered by a large t-shirt belonging to Itachi. He leaned down and placed his lips to its cheek as he pulled up the thin sheet. Hopefully Phox's plan would get Kakuzu to lend some extra money or get Hidan to steal from him. It was very cold in this cave after all and his child could only take so much. The door cracked open and in stepped Kisame.

"Hametsuki still sleeping?" He whispered, staring at their toddler.

"Yeah... Try not to drink too much..." Itachi murmured, stroking Kisame's jaw on his way out.

Kisame laughed soundlessly then bent over the crib to kiss his child. As soon as he closed the door behind him, the crying started. He gave a heavy sigh, shaking his head as Itachi hurried past him, bottle in hand. Kisame turned heel and headed for the door. He would meet the guys at Sasori and Deidara's. It wasn't until he met up with Kakuzu and Sasori that he realized he had not gotten his usual good bye kiss. They get to the bar and Kisame is the first to drink his beverage. But he is not drunk... oh no...

"You okay?" Sasori droned, "You look depressed."

"I... forgot to kiss my weasel goodbye..." He fell to his knees like in those dramatic tragedies when someone is told their loved one has died.

"It's just one kiss..." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, helping Sasori yank the shark to his feet.

"One kiss can decide your relationship, Kakuzu, JUST ONE KISS CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE!" Kisame latched onto his shoulders and started to shake him.

"You're smashed, aren't ya?" Sasori drawled, finishing his first drink.

"No. I. Am. Not." Kisame slumped forward on the table.

"Well this will make popping my question to you easier." Kakuzu mumbled.

"I'm taken, but tha's okay lady... yer prettier." Kisame shot up, "Seriously though. Go on."

"Have you ever thought about having kids with Uchiha?"

"Oh not this crap again." Sasori groaned, halfway finished with his second drink.

"As a matter of fact, yes." the other two immediately perked, "Itachi is the last in his clan save his brother and... his brother is named Sasu-gay..." Kisame snickered, "So the only way for the Uchiha clan to continue would be for Itachi to leave me for someone else." He smiled softly, "It would be wonderful to be a father but I admit I gave up the chance when I fell, hard, for Itachi."

"You say that as though you have a chance now." Kakuzu mused aloud.

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't but what's it to you?" Kisame smirked, refusing a drink Sasori offered.

"I swear you two need to get laid or something. I'll take you both!" Sasori is weak with holding his liquor, it appeared.

"No thanks." They both deadpanned.

–

Meanwhile, Hidan and Deidara finally left his and Kakuzu's base for Itachi's. They arrived to find him glaring at the TV in front of the couch, popcorn in a bowl on the table. Hidan and Deidara made their way over, plopping down on the sofa.

"Oi, Uchiha, you better not burn another TV..." Hidan trailed as he thought about financing. Usually it was Kakuzu's job to worry but now that he was pregnant—he shook his head.

"Don't worry, I know we need to start saving our money." Itachi said as the TV finally decided to work.

"I don't see why, hm. Seems Kakuzu's got us plenty of money." Deidara leaned further into the couch, relaxing.

"You won't be thinking that in a few months." Itachi smirked, Hidan felt his heart skip a beat as the Uchiha returned to the couch.

"Phox said the same thing, hm."

"Of course the bitch would say something..." Hidan huffed, grumpy.

"Are you upset with her actions?" Itachi asked calmly.

"I don't fucking want it!" Hidan seethed.

"Um... what's goin' on, hm?" Deidara looked from one man to the other fuming man.

"You don't want it or Kakuzu doesn't want it?" Itachi quirked a brow and Deidara was ignored.

"Want what, hm?" Deidara whined.

"It doesn't matter, fucker!" Hidan snapped at Itachi; again, Deidara was ignored.

"Of course it matters." Itachi was suddenly in Hidan's face, practically sitting on Deidara whom was in between the two. "You have something alive inside you. Not him, you."

"What!" Deidara screeched, finally getting the others' attention.

"It's nothing!" They both snarled.

Deidara was about to retort when the trio heard something. Hidan's eyes widened in shock, Deidara's narrowed in confusion, and Itachi's closed in exhaustion. Hametsuki was awake and hungry. He opened his eyes and Hidan was stunned to find he really did appear exhausted. As in months of sleepless nights, not just due to his long term illness. He glared at both of them, telling them both to stay, as he retreated to his child's bedroom. Moments later he appeared with it in his arms.

"Alright, don't freak out. This is Sasuke Hametsuki Uchiha Hoshigaki." Itachi shifted the toddler in his arms, "...He's my child cum Kisame."

"How...?" Deidara trailed as Itachi returned to the coach.

"Phox mentioned... another male pregnancy." Hidan suddenly snickered, "She turned you into a bitchy chick?"

"Uchiha was a what, hm?" Deidara gaped.

"Thanks a lot Hidan." Itachi rolled his eyes then came back with a vengeance, "Deidara will get a choice at least. Male or female?"

"W-W-W-What?" Hidan and Itachi watched him fall to the floor, unconscious.

"Well that went well." Itachi murmured, nuzzling Hametsuki.

"So..." Hidan stepped over Deidara to join Itachi, "What... what's it like?"

–

"Anyways, as I was sayi-"

"You... have very pretty eyes..." Sasori murmured, face inches from Kisame, cutting him off.

"Fuck yourself, 'Sori..." Kakuzu groaned, downing another bottle.

"Mn... I like the thought. You gunna watch, big guy?" Sasori slurred before slamming on the matress, out cold.

"Remind me again why we take him drinking..." Kisame muttered.

"Entertainments." Kakuzu had a slight slur of his own.

"Better say this before you grow dumb." Kisame laughed, "Point is. I did find a way to have a child with Itachi and she—I mean he—is beautiful. An angel gave birth to an angel..." His mind wandered to his own fantasy world while Kakuzu gaped at him.

Sorry for the delay, I'm gonna switch to my other mpreg real quick then write the next chapter to this. Hopefully I'll be able to finish "Cheaper by the Dozen My Ass"... an intended oneshot that will more than likely end up in chapters yet again... *pout*