Phox: Yay! Chapter Sixteen brought to you by~ -Ditkata, librarycat9, KakuHidahearts, SuigetsuPhwoar, Deinagotcha, Hidan-chan11, & GaaraTurnedAussie- Again.

Pain: Why am I never mentioned?

Phox: I'm sure you're mentioned somewhere.

Konan: You're avoiding the question.

Phox: And now~ On with warnings:

Yaoi

Language

OOC & OC

MPREG

Read! At! Own! Risk!

Pairing(s) : Kakuzu X Hidan, Kisame X Itachi

"I want some attention and affection." Hidan had chickened out.

"That's all?" Kakuzu scoffed.

"What the fuck do you mean 'That's all?', bastard?" Hidan snapped.

"You're doing it again." Kakuzu sighed, tucking his now limp member back into his pants.

"Doing what?" Hidan blinked innocently, cocking his head to the side.

"Being all sad, sappy one minute then the next thing I know you're trying to kill me." he explained.

"Who the fuck 'you calling sappy?" Hidan snapped.

"Never mind. I'm going to bed." Kakuzu groaned.

"Well fuck you too then! I'm sleeping on the fucking couch!"

Kakuzu easily dodged the couch cushion Hidan threw at his head. He continued to their bedroom and started to get undressed. He was going to cool off in the shower and hopefully convince Hidan to do the same. Meanwhile, Hidan was silently fuming although he knew not the reason why. He gave up soon though and headed for the kitchen when his stomach commanded him with a rumble.

"Damn, quiet down brat. I'll get your fucking nutrients." He said to his flat stomach.

As he was grabbing food, he began to wonder. He made himself some instant ramen, too lazy to cook an actual meal. He sat at the table and waited for the three minutes allowed as the noodles softened. He absentmindedly ran a hand over the plane of his lower abdomen.

"What will I do when you start to show, brat?" Hidan sighed, peeling the remainder of the lid off his food. "What will your bastard of a father do when he finds out?"

He finished eating and made sure to blow out the torches. Kakuzu hated having to buy new ones once the old ones burn down. He was halfway to the couch when a gut feeling told him to sleep with Kakuzu while he could. Hidan expected Kakuzu to reject their child and maybe even Hidan himself if he were to discover the little one. He trudged down the hall, blowing out the torches as he went. He paused at the last one, deep in thought. Was he only a flame to be lit when needed and blown out when there is no need?

"Hidan?" Kakuzu's voice woke Hidan from the trance he had placed himself in, staring at the flame.

"Can I take a fuckin' shower?" He asked, showing a bit of his old spirit.

"... No." but Kakuzu moved aside and let Hidan in.

He went back to his desk to return to counting his recently acquired money. Hidan noticed the money supply, more abundant than usual. He could smell himself though and decided to ask later. He pulled off his pants and boxers, leaving them on the floor as he usually did but he paused at the bathroom door to look back. Why did he have the urge to pick them up? So, he went back to his clothes, scooped them up, threw them in the dirty hamper, noticed Kakuzu's clothes as well as plenty of his still lying around, and then started to pick up the entire room.

This whole act did not go unnoticed and surprised his partner since he usually had to pick up the mess or, favorably, force Hidan to clean. As he opened his mouth to question this, however, Hidan had already gone into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. His mouth hung open for a moment or two before he shook his head and closed his gaping mouth. There was no doubt in the miser's mind that something had happened to his beloved immortal and it was something said immortal really did not want to tell Kakuzu. Yet.

He nodded to himself, making the decision not to ask Hidan about his condition. Hidan would tell him when he needed or Kakuzu would eventually discover it if it would not stop soon. Hidan finished his shower moments later to find his money-lover already in bed, starting to doze off without him. He smiled, pulling off his towel to join his partner in the bed, nude. He was going to do anything, of course. Itachi had recommended waiting until after his next check up before giving into his seme's body.

"I love you, Kuzu-chan." Hidan purred, cuddling up to the near-naked man.

"Good night, Hidan-chan." Kakuzu yawned, placing a kiss to Hidan's lips as he drifted off. "I love you too..."

–

Five weeks go by and the immortal duo partake in numerous bounty hunts. Kakuzu was beyond worried when Hidan refused to fight the bounty and when he did, it was still unbelievable how things had changed. He was holding back when using his special technique and instead finished them off by hand. Once Kakuzu had decided to be nice, took Hidan to a bar, and tried to get him drunk enough to spill the beans. Apparently, Hidan was no longer an alcoholic and refused any and all alcohol. This aggravated him but he decided not to lose his temper with Hidan's complete change of attitude.

So, now they were back home after dropping some of Kakuzu's precious money off at Kisame and Itachi's to help support Hametsuki. Kakuzu was mulling over his papers and money while Hidan was searching through the cabinets for a jar of peanut butter. He found none then started a tantrum. He stormed into the bedroom to find Kakuzu was placing his money in the safe.

"Why the fuck don't we have any fucking peanut butter?" Hidan shouted.

"We do. It's-"

"Fucking smooth. I want crunchy peanut butter, damnit!" Hidan snarled at Kakuzu.

"You hate crunchy..."

"I don't give a shit! I want my fucking crunchy peanut butter!" Hidan threw a kunai at the defenseless banker.

"Alright, alright, I'll go buy your fucking crunchy peanut butter!" He gave a sigh of relief as his partner seemed to calm down.

"And don't skimp out on the lettuce."

"... Lettuce and peanut butter...?"

"And that wheat bread."

"You hate wheat bread." Kakuzu froze when Hidan reached for a kunai and held up his hands, "Okay, Crunchy peanut butter, lettuce, and wheat bread."

"And ice cream..." Hidan huffed, flopping down on the bed.

"Okay... what flavor?" Kakuzu wondered how much this was going to cost.

"... I don't know..."

After Hidan decided on cookie dough flavored ice cream, Kakuzu headed into the market, albeit reluctantly. The Jashinist waited impatiently for his return in the bedroom when he heard an intruder. He sat up with a groan and grabbed his scythe. That usually scared the bastards off. He was surprised to find Kabuto waiting there with Phox. He glared at the latter.

"Long time no see, Hidan." Kabuto smiled.

"I think I can see a bit of a bump, Kabuto." Phox smirked when Hidan's glare intensified.

"What the fuck are you bitches doing here?" Hidan snapped moodily; he was still hungry.

"We've come to take you to your check up since it has been eleven weeks, three months." Kabuto answered, glancing down at his clipboard.

"So drop the scythe and come with us..." She paused then added, "If you vant to live." in a mock accent.

"Tch. Weird bitch."

Whoot! … Hidan's having mood swing and cravings. He's also, finally, growing the infamously dubbed, 'baby bump'. The next chapter is where your votes will be put into play... hopefully...