Phox: Yay! Chapter Sixteen brought to you by~ -Ditkata & librarycat9-

Kakuzu: … I know your secret.

Phox: … I know yours.

Kakuzu: … Shit.

Phox: And now~ On with warnings:

Yaoi

Language

OOC & OC

MPREG

Read! At! Own! Risk!

Pairing(s) : Kakuzu X Hidan, Kisame X Itachi, and Sasori X Deidara

–

Hidan reluctantly followed Phox and Kabuto outside, through the forest, over the river and to Granny Chi—I mean, they headed for Orochimaru's cave that Kabuto had taken Hidan to last time. As they made their way to the check up room, Hidan could not help but remember having sent Kakuzu to buy food for him. Kabuto jumped when his patient burst out laughing. Once he got Hidan to quiet down, he pulled the man into the room and onto the examination table.

"That's new." Hidan spoke, pointing at a monitor attached to other machinery.

"That's an ultrasound and this is the transducer. Now put some of that gel on your stomach." Kabuto held up the scanner and pulled the machine closer to Hidan while Phox gave him some of the gel.

"I thought it would be nice for you to see your baby." Phox explained.

"Now I'll get to see what the big idea is when bitches overreact in all those movies you show us. And that kinda tickles." Hidan rambled as Kabuto began.

"Shut up."

Hidan rolled his eyes but obeyed, eyes trailing to the screen. He watched in confusion as Phox's jaw dropped and Kabuto's eyes widened. They were staring at the black and white image like they could tell what it was. Phox exchanged a glance with Kabuto and went to the machine. She hit a button and some pages started to print off. She turned of the machine and Kabuto threw Hidan a rag. Once he was cleaned, he joined them at what appeared to be a kitchen table.

"Here, look at these Hidan." Phox handed him the photos of what had shown on the monitor.

"What is that?" Hidan pointed to something.

"That would be an eye, there's the other eye." Kabuto was smiling as Hidan set the picture on the table, letting the enemy point to everything in the pictures. "This is the head and-"

"This baby fuckin' looks weird." despite his words, he too was smiling, looking at another picture. "Oi, if that's the head, then what's this?"

"That would be a head." Kabuto answered after receiving an 'OK' from Phox.

"So my baby has two heads?" Hidan blinked.

"No, baka, you have two babies." Phox smirked when Hidan paled.

–

Kakuzu came home with his partner's desired food moment after Hidan had left. He put the food away when Hidan did not come to claim it. He growled under his breath and went to the bedroom.

"Okay, bitch, I got your food in... the... kitchen." He trailed upon realizing he was alone then shouted, "Where the fuck did you go now?"

He stormed back into the living room but stopped short. He had run into someone since he had been looking down in thought. He saw a flash of blue and wondered why Kisame was in his living room. He heard the shrill laugh of a child and noticed Itachi and Hametsuki sitting on the love seat, the latter chewing on a rubber chew toy for dogs. Kakuzu rose a brow but decided not to question it.

"What are you three doing here?" Kakuzu grumbled as Kisame sat next to his partner.

"Waiting for Hidan." Itachi answered.

"You know where he is?" Kakuzu asked.

"Can't tell you, sorry." Kisame smirked.

"Kisame, tell me where he is or I just might let your secret slip." Kakuzu threatened.

"Not fair! You know how Sasori is when he's drunk!"

"Excuse me?" Everyone jumped when they heard the puppeteer.

"What is Sasori-danna like when he drunk?" Deidara appeared besides his partner at the entrance.

"Horny as fuck." Kakuzu replied simply.

"Danna?" Deidara looked genuinely surprised.

"Never thought he'd be the type..." Itachi murmured, not bothering to hide his daughter.

"That's not the best part." Kakuzu shoots a sly glance in a red-faced redhead's direction, "He's the one that asks to be fucked."

"L-Lies!" Sasori stutters.

"What's a lie and why the fuck are you all in my house?" Hidan arrived with Phox and Kabuto close behind.

"I should ask Kabuto the same." Kakuzu hurried to Hidan's side.

"Just curious to see if Hidan will spill the beans." Kabuto answered, pushing his glasses up.

"Piss off, Kabuto. All of you; out!" Hidan snapped moodily, pointing to the door.

The artists rolled their eyes and followed Kabuto out of the cave. Phox headed for the loveseat and the four stared at Hidan and Kakuzu whom were glaring back.

"We're spending the night. And, you've got a mission... both of you." She held a folder out to Kakuzu, knowing Hidan would take more than the folder from her.

"Oh, and Hidan... easy on the junk food... I believe you're gaining a little weight." Kisame smirked once Hidan was out the door. However he was still in hearing distance.

"I am not fucking fat, fish dick!" Kisame narrowly avoided the kunai that came for his head.

Kakuzu glanced at the other, wondering why he was staring at him. He shook off the thought though and joined Hidan outside. Kakuzu considered asking Hidan where he was but his partner had gone ahead, looking to the dirt and deep in thought. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and looked through the folder for their destination. He glanced at it then sighed. It would be a long trip. Hidan started to slow once he realized he had no idea where they were going. When they were almost at their destination, it was midnight and Hidan's complaints began to increase.

"I want to stay at a fucking inn."

"No, we're almost there."

"I'm hungry."

"You had the chance to eat back home. It's your fault you left before I brought food back."

"Go get it."

"You're joking."

"My stomach hurts..."

"Deal with it."

"I can, but they can't." Hidan said this quietly, hoping Kakuzu had not heard.

"What?" Kakuzu stopped now to stare at his partner whom had trailed behind quite a bit.

"I said, I can't fucking deal with it. You stupid piece of shit." Hidan snapped, throwing his shoe at Kakuzu.

"... That's it..." Kakuzu growled dangerously.

"This is it." Hidan growled back with more ferocity.

Kakuzu was about to ask but before he could, Hidan suddenly fell to his knees. He winced and held his abdomen and worry crossed Kakuzu's face for a moment. Hidan groaned then collapsed on his side. Stunned, Kakuzu stared before kneeling down in order to pick his partner up. He pulled him onto his back then paused, confused.

"Kisame's right... you have gained some weight..."

He carried Hidan until they reached their destination. It was Yugakure, Hidan's home village. He made sure to cover Hidan's head with some cloth before actually entering the village. Not that the peaceful village could do anything. He looked around for a cheap inn, found one, checked in, and then dumped Hidan on the bed. He soon plopped down besides him, but then sat back up. Hidan still had his cloak on but had buttoned it up to his collar bone. He usually had it completely unbuttoned which is what brought him to unbutton the cloak completely.

Hidan was perfectly fine underneath at first glance but Kakuzu noticed something was off. His rough hand trailed from his neck, to his ribs, then down to his stomach. Kakuzu froze here, staring at the bump underneath. Hidan had let himself go, it seemed. However the miser knew he had seen Hidan exercising daily despite him eating quite a bit of their food... Hidan should still have his usual physique. He did not know why, but he soon found both hands roaming the stomach. After fifteen minutes of caressing, he started to fall asleep, his head resting near Hidan's new found bump. Near his twins...

–

Okay, I know I owe Ditkata some smut but I plan on including it soon, hopefully next chapter...

I wonder if I should have them run into someone from Hidan's clan or cult. What do you think?

Oh, and I just finished snooping through Kakuzu and Hidan's information on Narutopedia. I had many lol's with Hidan.