Phox: Yay! Chapter Twenty-Two brought to you by~ -Ditkata, librarycat9, Holly Jolly Rape, FanGirlMania, I Like to Stalk You, EvilPeach, & SuigetsuPhwoar -

Bobbay: Sorry for the delay.

Ashley: I am on hiatus.

Bobbay: We just thought we ought to reward you though since this was half way done before the hiatus.

Phox: And now~ On with warnings:

Yaoi

Language

OOC & OC

MPREG

Read! At! Own! Risk!

Pairing(s) : Kakuzu X Hidan, Kisame X Itachi, & Sasori X Deidara

Three weeks after Hidan's last check-up finds the duo out with Deidara and Itachi for a week. Kisame insisted Itachi take a break from caring for Hametsuki; it was not easy, but Hidan and Deidara eventually managed to drag him out with Sasori's help. The toddler had already taken its first steps and could turn a few pages in a book. Kakuzu had been kind enough (after much complaining and 'bitching' from three ukes) to let them stay in a hotel with the bedroom separated from the main room which had two beds. Kakuzu, despite being generous enough to cave to their demands, got stuck on the couch when he suggested Itachi and Deidara share a bed.

–Earlier...

"You just want girl-on-girl porn, don't you, BASTARD!" Hidan screeched, flying into one of his moods while said 'girls' cowered on aforementioned bed.

"Wah? No! I didn't—Hidan, put that down! I only have two hearts left!" Kakuzu cried as his lover reached for the triple-bladed scythe.

"Wonder how he lost the other three..." Deidara whispered to Itachi.

"You say something, bitch?" Hidan directed his attention to them, scythe being held back by Kakuzu.

"No." Itachi replied calmly.

"Guh! I'm losing my fucking mind, Kuzu! I coulda sworn that bitch said something!" He whined, turning back to Kakuzu, "What the hell you doing with my scythe?"

"You threw it at him after he suggested Uchiha and I share the other bed, hm." Deidara offered, none too helpfully for the miser.

"To prevent bloodshed perhaps Itachi should get one bed, Deidara and I share the other, and you can just sleep on the fucking couch, bastard!" Hidan huffed, slamming the bedroom door in Kakuzu's face.

"Harsh, hm." Deidara giggled, earning a weak glare.

Hidan sighed after a moment then plopped on the bed, careful of his large belly. He glanced at Deidara when the blonde shifted the mattress but then returned his gaze to the ceiling a moment later. Itachi turned off the lights, letting black swallow the room. Hidan soon heard his comrades' breathing slow as they drifted off easily enough. He sat up, got out of bed, crept out of the room, and found Kakuzu sitting up on the couch as he studied the bounty information. He gave a pout and joined the miser on the couch, cuddling into Kakuzu's side.

"My tummy hurts." He whined.

"What do you want?" Kakuzu sighed, putting his papers down.

"You." Hidan mumbled, burying his face in the elder's shirt.

Kakuzu smirked then began to ease Hidan's back to the couch. His tongue brushed Hidan's lower lip, begging for entry. His moan granted it, arms wrapped around his neck. Once they broke apart, Kakuzu's tongue roamed south. He skipped over the babies, not wanting them to know... although how could they? He paused when his partner let out a whimper and moved away when he moved an arm over the bump.

"Are you okay?" Kakuzu questioned.

"My stomach just feels kinda weird... Can we just cuddle?" Hidan pleaded, nuzzling Kakuzu's heated skin.

"Again?" Kakuzu whined, sitting back up so Hidan could curl up in his lap.

Morning arrived and Itachi awoke with a jolt. He nearly had a heart attack when he did not hear his child crying for breakfast. Deidara's sudden snore reminded him where he was a moment later, somewhat slowing his rapid heartbeat. He walked over to the bed, not surprised by Hidan's absence. He gave a smirk then pushed the blonde off the bed.

"Ow. What the fuck, hm!" Deidara snapped, jumping to his feet.

"Morning." Itachi spoke without revealing any sign of the joy he had felt at hearing Deidara hit the wooden floor.

Deidara grumbled under his breath, following Itachi into the main room. He restrained his laugh when he saw Kakuzu asleep on the couch with Hidan sprawled on top of his seme. Their hands were entwined over the baby bump which rose and fell with every breath. Itachi wondered which wake up method would be safest for both him and the unborn twins.

"Kakuzu..." He gently shook the elder, hoping he would not spring up after being woken.

"Mn, what the fuck do you want, weasel?" Kakuzu growled, cracking an eye open to glare at the other.

"It's morning." He replied simply.

Kakuzu grunted and sat up, holding Hidan close as he did. Once their hands had separated, Hidan woke up, yawning loudly.

"Can I go home, Kuzu-chan?" He whined.

"What? Why?" Kakuzu gaped.

"Because I'm too fucking tired to keep up." Hidan huffed.

"He has a point..." Itachi murmured, "I can escort him home while you and Deidara finish the mission, Kakuzu."

"... Fine but Kisame said he's not letting you in until I get back." Kakuzu reminded him, packing up his paper work.

Kakuzu paused only to give Hidan a five minute kiss goodbye. It took awhile for Itachi and Deidara to pry them apart but they finally succeeded. Itachi and Hidan reached the cave and waited for Kakuzu to return. Days passed and he soon returned to find Hidan napping on the couch. He sighed and entered the kitchen to dismiss Itachi. The Uchiha bowed his head then quickly departed, eager to return to his family. Kakuzu returned to the living room and shook Hidan awake.

"Fuckin' stop'it, 'Tachi." He mumbled, rolling up to glare at Kakuzu. "Oh, it's just you, bastard."

"What do you mean, 'just you, bastard'?" Kakuzu scoffed, picking Hidan up so he could sit on the sofa.

"You left me for a whole fucking week." He pouted.

"You were the one that wanted to go home." He growled.

"..." Hidan suddenly slid out of his slouch, hand darting to his stomach.

"Hidan?" The addressee's eyes suddenly went wide.

"It kicked."

Kakuzu rose a brow as Hidan brought his tan hand to the womb. After awhile of feeling nothing, something bumped his palm. Kakuzu smirked and placed his other hand near Hidan's.

"This is one of our kids..." He spoke in soft awe.

"Yeah..." Hidan beamed.

"What if they don't like me though?" Kakuzu fretted.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Hidan snapped moodily.

"I'm a monster..." Kakuzu shrugged and a hard kick was delivered by one of the kids, earning a wince from their dad.

"Just shut up, I think you look just fine and so will they." Hidan sighed, suddenly exhausted, "Just look at Hametsuki and Kisame..."

"..."

-Flashback-

Kakuzu and Deidara had infiltrated their target's home and had killed the man. However Kakuzu could sense another ninja from a room towards the back and left Deidara to clean up. He opened the door to the bedroom to find a woman defending a child. The second she noticed him, she attacked. Kakuzu had no trouble disposing of her and looked into the cradle. It saw his face and began to cry. Kakuzu showed no emotion as he dug the kunai through it's tiny heart. It would have died without parents anyways.

-End Flashback-

'Who could kill a child so young and not be called a monster...?' He thought as he carried his pregnant partner to their bed.

I will be going on hiatus. Simply because, not only is school going to soon start, but because I have been wrapped up in the video game world once more. I have been playing my games more than I have been using my laptop. I am sorry for any inconvenience and I will try and update when I can.

I wish there was more KakuHida for me to read. :(