Hidan sighed and picked the toddler up, heading for the kitchen. The little girl squirmed in his arms, crying out. Hidan scowled then set her down. Once he stepped away she made a motion of brushing herself off. She stuck her tongue out at him and then walked out of the kitchen to his bedroom. He followed close behind, arms crossed. On his bed lay a few bags and Hidan snorted.

"Just how long do your parents plan on being away?" He scoffed while she climbed up the bed.

"Two weeks." The fifteen month old replied, pulling a book from a bag.

"... Does that book have any pictures?" Hidan asked, moving the bags to the floor so he could sit on the bed.

"Three per chapter." She crawled back into his lap and opened it. "Read."

"Hell no." Hidan huffed, earning a glare, "You don't scare me."

"I'll scweam."

"You'll what?"

She started to scream, as promised. He slapped his hand over her mouth and growled. She returned it then bit his hand. He ripped his hand from her mouth and she shoved the chapter book in his hands. She grinned triumphantly when he opened it to the marked page.

"Fuck... What are your parents trying to do? Make you into a super-genius by age three?"

"Can't read?" She sighed and took the book from him.

Kakuzu returned home with Deidara by sundown and found Hametsuki sitting on the couch with Hidan laying on the floor at her feet. She was reading, unaware that he had fallen asleep. She climbed down when she spotted Kakuzu and clamped onto his leg.

"Your hubby's stupid." She pouted.

"Yes but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it." He sighed, picking her up.

"Not everyone can be as smart as an Uchiha." Deidara spat.

"Not Uchiha. Hoshigaki." Hametsuki corrected.

"That's right, you're part shark, part weasel." Kakuzu smirked, setting her on the floor in order to pick Hidan up.

"Fishies." The toddler giggled, sending a glare in Deidara's direction.

Kakuzu picked Hidan up and motioned for the artist to follow him. Itachi and Kisame's toddler followed in the rear. Kakuzu paused and pointed out where the bomber should work and the continued to the bedroom to deposit his deep-sleeping lover. He ran a hand over his children until Hametsuki pulled his pant leg. He sighed and looked at her.

"Hungwy~." She whined.

–

"Daddy... Daddy?"

I groaned, rolling over in my bed. I sat up when I did not see Kakuzu lying next to me. I looked around and my eyes met an identical pair. It was a small boy with magenta eyes and silver hair like myself. I tilted my head; he had tan skin like Kakuzu's.

"Daddy, where's father?" The child asked.

"He's in the kitchen." I replied absentmindedly.

"No he's not. Father's gone."

I sighed and picked him up, letting him nuzzle close to me. We headed for the living room to find a girl crying. I stopped; she was covered in blood, Kakuzu's blood. I almost dropped the boy. She turned her magenta eyes on me, grinning.

"Look daddy. My first sacrifice."

"K-Kakuzu..." My lip quivered and I fell to my knees by my husband's corpse.

"Cool!" The boy laughed, tugging on his hair.

"Kakuzu!"

–

"Hidan... Hidan..."

Hidan awoke with a start, tears streaming down his face. Kakuzu started, sitting on the bed at his side. He had come back to the bedroom after putting the toddler to bed to find Hidan tossing, turning, and crying his name—not in the good way. He patted Hidan's head, holding him close. Silence stretched aside from Hidan's frantic sobs and Kakuzu's soothing sounds. And then...

BOOM!

"Waaaah!"

"... Fuck..."

Hidan sniffled, hiding a laugh as Kakuzu groaned. He kissed his shoulder before the elder crawled out of bed, picking the toddler up from the crib Itachi and Kisame brought over. He grumbled under his breath about just having put her to sleep, bouncing her in his arms. The door opened and Deidara popped his head in, covered in debris.

"You have a new bedroom for the little ones, hm." He snickered.

"Yeah, thanks a lot. I just got her quiet." Kakuzu seethed. Hidan laughed out loud now. "Hey, you'll have to deal with it too, Hidan."

"Yeah, and don't forget you're having twins, un." Deidara laughed, barely escaping the room with his life.

"Twins..." Hidan and Kakuzu mused, the Hoshigaki toddler was quiet now.

"Twins of two criminals who kill for a living." Hidan sighed, recalling his nightmare.

"What's so wrong with that?" Kakuzu chuckled, "There are plenty of villains with kids."

"Name seventeen." He deadpanned.

"You're kidding, right?"

"Yeah, but still. What the fuck are we supposed to do when they get older? The little bastards will be out in the world and where the fuck will we be?" He turned to Kakuzu, "Still slaughtering in the Akatsuki? In prison? Buried?"

"... Are you alright? You're being ridiculous." He scoffed, "They'll be fine, we'll be fine. We're Jashinists."

…

"Kakuzu, are you feeling alright?" Hidan smiled, placing a hand to his forehead. "... But you're right. We have Lord Jashin to look over us."

"There, that's my Hidan." He returned the smile and readjusted Hametsuki whom had fallen asleep, "Now cheer up. We have a kid to take care of for two weeks."

"... After that, we should go shopping." Kakuzu paled, "Or we could throw a baby shower and get shit for free."

"'Free'?" He perked up.

–

Two weeks went by fairly fast and Hametsuki had succeeded in ticking Hidan off one times too many. Kisame and Itachi entered the cave, impatient to get their daughter back home. They heard crashes and curses from the kitchen and went running. Kakuzu was sitting at the table reading a paper, completely oblivious to the havoc his partner was causing. Hametsuki was biting his arm, refusing to let go.

"Get the fuck off of me, bitch!" He screeched.

"Hidan... stress isn't good for the babies." Kisame frowned while Itachi's Sharingan flickered to life.

"Hurt my baby and I hurt yours." He growled, easily making his daughter release Hidan.

"IT hurt ME first!"

"Don't be so immature, Hidan." Kakuzu spoke up from the table, "Soon you'll have to help set an example."

"Your poor, poor children..."

Guh... I realize this is just a filler and I apologize. Believe me, I am impatient to reach Hidan's labor. But that's weeks away. :( After I finish Growing Up (if) I shall work to finish this. Then I'll try and finish other projects. If there are any unfinished stories you want to see finished, let me know. I'll see which to finish first. I'll go make a poll now.