Chapter 11

EPOV

I sighed, rolled over and was immediately hit with Bella's scent. My eyes popped open as I remembered last night and I looked around for Bella, she wasn't in her bedroom. I thought back over last night, it was a good date. I had a hard time at first in the restaurant but I was able to calm down and enjoy dinner, then dancing with Bella and when she asked me to stay I was floored. I wanted to stay, I didn't want to leave her yet and then in her bedroom...ugh...I was going to have to take care of my morning wood if I continued with those thoughts. I decided to look around her bedroom, she had said it was her sanctuary and I could see why. It took up one side of the house on the second floor and was painted a pale gold with dark hardwood floors. At one time it looked as if it had been 3 separate rooms but now it was one large room that was sectioned off with a small library and office area. The best part was the wall facing the water was completely floor to ceiling windows with 2 sets of french doors that opened onto the balcony.

I went to her en suite bathroom to get a shower and was surprised by the large garden tub situated in the corner of 2 walls of windows facing the water. When she said she loved the water she meant it. I showered quickly, put on the sleep pants from the first time I stayed and went in search of Bella. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I was sure I heard her voice coming from the kitchen area.

"Jules, its Bella. I need a favor."

"No, not like last time, to be honest I'm not sure if you will ever be able to write about this or not. I need your investigative instincts for some research I need done and I trust you to keep it all under wraps."

"I need you to look into any connections between Jacob Black and Edward Cullen. Jacob is becoming aggressive and it looks as if most of his hostility is aimed at Edward and I am just getting caught in the crossfire."

"I did talk to Edward and he can't come up with anything. He says he barely knows Jacob, I mean they went to the same college but were several years apart."

"Yes, I believe him. Whatever it is Edward is either totally unaware of or it was so insignificant to him he doesn't remember, but it obviously meant a lot to Jacob."

"Yes, the guys are doing background checks but they won't snoop at the small stuff like you will."

She was silent for awhile and I felt bad listening to her conversation so I walked into the kitchen where she could see me. She was still on the phone but turned to look at me.

"Actually Jules I would rather you talked to Edward last, I don't want anything he says to cause you to put more or less weight on certain things. Just do it blind first and then you can talk to him about what you have found."

"Thanks, do think you can have something to me in a week or two?"

"That's great, let me know if you need anything."

"Bye Jules."

I walked over and lifted her into a big hug, "Good morning Bella. I hope you slept well?"

"I slept great, you?"

"It was wonderful until I woke up by myself."

"Sorry about that," she giggled.

"That's ok Bella, it actually gave me a chance to look around a little. I can see why you call it your sanctuary, it has a very peaceful vibe."

"Yes it does and I worked hard to create that. In the last year when Edgar was ill it was an escape for me, it was where I went to center myself so I could face another day."

She didn't look sad but wistful almost, I wanted her to smile so I kissed her changed the subject. "So I couldn't help but overhear your phone conversation, should I be worried that you have a reporter digging in to my past?"

She laughed, "Only if you have something to hide."

"Well, I don't so she can dig all she wants, there isn't anything to find."

"She isn't really digging into your past Edward, she will be looking for connections between you and Jacob Black. Did Jacob like a girl you dated, did you receive some recognition that he felt should have gone to him, did you win a business contract he wanted, and those kinds of things are what she will be looking at."

"Ok, why do you need her to do this? Isn't your security looking into things?"

"They are but Jules has a knack for this type of thing. As a reporter she is use to looking for the small, odd connections that can push people over the edge. She is very good at what she does Edward and I trust her implicitly. Nothing she finds will ever become public knowledge if we don't want it to."

"I trust you Bella and with everything happening that says a lot. You are one of the few people I trust outside my family."

"I'm glad. I made breakfast why don't we go out on the deck and eat. I would also like to talk to you about something you said last night."

I could tell by the way she avoided looking at me for too long what she wanted to talk about. I was about to have the conversation I had been dreading, but why now? Did she regret last night? I hoped not it would hurt beyond belief if she did. "Ok Bella. I want to answer all your questions. I have to warn you the answers may not always be pretty but they will be honest."

"That is all I ask for Edward, honesty."

Once we were settled and started eating she began. "I would like to do this in increments, if that is okay with you?"

"Whatever you need Bella, I want to answer all your questions and put any fears you have to rest."

"Thank you. The way you felt when we first meet, have you always felt that way about women. I mean in high school or college, there must have been a time you didn't feel that way."

"I attended an all boys' prep school Bella. So there were only a few times a year that we interacted with an all girls' school that was close by. Even then I wasn't noticed much by girls, I was gangly, all arms and legs and a nerd. I put all my effort into my studies, I didn't want to disappoint my parents. My senior year is when I realized if I wanted my body to fill out I would have to help it along. That is how I met Emmett at a gym and he helped me bulk up. Alice helped me look like less of a nerd and I felt ready to start college where I would be around girls much more."

"I can't imagine you a nerd Edward. Studious yes but a true nerd, I think not."

"Oh I was and my mother has the photos to prove it. Although if you care for me at all you won't ask her to show them to you."

"I do care for you Edward but I am asking to see those pictures the next time I see her. Remember you need a sense of humor around me." She said laughing. "Anyway, let's move on to college, I am assuming the nerd is gone now."

"Yes he is for the most part but the shy part of the nerd, the part that never learned how to interact with girls is left for the next few two years. I went East for college, Yale, and rather naively thought that the prestige of the school would protect me to a point from people who were just seeing what was in it for them. Those first two years I probably dated 3 or 4 girls and it took me awhile with each to figure out they never got to know me, it was all about them. They just wanted to date me because of either my looks or money and wanted people to know they were with me. Each time it would crumble when I started wanting to do things I enjoyed rather than allowing them to drag me where they wanted. So I returned my Junior year with a firm rule of no dating and just concentrating on my studies. It was around Halloween that a girl who was in one of classes approached me with an interesting offer. She was very studious also and never seemed to date even though she was very pretty. She taught me about being friends with benefits and late night booty calls. We had studied together a few times and when she asked I explained why I wasn't dating anyone and that is when she offered we take care of each others needs with no strings. We would accompany each other to different functions if need be but it was always understood it was just friends and even though we were sleeping together it would never become anything more."

"You were ok with that arrangement? You never wanted...more?"

"In college no, not even when I went to Columbia for my MBA really. What always bothered me though was that as soon as girls found out who I was or that I had money they became extra sweet to me and it was just so shallow. I have always wanted someone who saw past all the bullshit and saw me not the trappings. During my residency I thought for a moment I had found someone I could see seriously and we had been dating almost 9 months when I overheard 2 of her friends talking one night about how if they had known it would land them a rich doctor they'd twist their ankles on purpose too. When I questioned her on it she didn't deny it but said things had changed and she actually loved me for me, so I ask her some questions about me and things I knew I had shared with her several times and when she couldn't answer one of them I ended it and gave up on dating."

"Oh Edward, as much as I wish you didn't have those experiences because they hurt you, I am glad you didn't find someone because then we wouldn't be here. But there must have been one defining moment?"

"Yeah there was. It happened when I was around 30 and her name was Paige." Then I explained the Paige incident to her. "That was really the last straw for me. It was after her that I began to question any and every female's motive who showed any interest in me. Even women in my own social circle like Tanya, she wants me so she can be a little higher up on the social ladder. It wore me down I guess is the best way to put it and over the last few years I have felt myself growing more and more bitter. I know it isn't right but that is how I felt."

"And when you saw me at Hope House?" She was looking at me as if she didn't want to know the answer but couldn't stop herself from asking the question.

I sighed and reached for her hand, if this was it she would have to force me to let her go, there was no way I was walking away voluntarily. "When I saw you Bella, I was instantly attracted to you and then I heard you laugh. I swear to God it caused my entire body to warm, then Kate came over and said she thought you were a resident and heard you questioning Esme, the little boy ran into your lap like he belonged there and I immediately started questioning your motives. Kate said...something that made me think of Paige and I was instantly furious. I had resigned myself, years ago, to the fact that I would be single, I would never find someone to share my life with and I have never had the type of reaction to a woman I had to you and it scared the shit out of me. Not only was I having an insane reaction to a woman I hadn't met but she was completely unacceptable in my eyes, she wouldn't want me, she would only be after what I could do for her. On a very fundamental level it hurt to think that. I dreamed of you that night, it was a dream I have had many times but the woman was always fuzzy and all I saw this time was your hair but I knew it was you when I woke up."

She wrapped her free hand around mine, "Will you tell me about the dream?"

"It is very simple, just me and you sitting in front of the fireplace at my house. That's all, just relaxing. But that is something I have always wanted to do with a woman, just relax, not go out to the latest restaurant or club. So, the day after the dream is when we had the meeting and to be honest Bella I don't know what happened. I remember being fine and then it was as if my brain just checked out and I said things that I knew were hurtful and some that weren't true but I couldn't stop myself. I would do anything to take those encounters back Bella, I really would."

"I know Edward, I really do. I have to admit it helps knowing where these feelings originally came from but I left that first meeting thinking it was a miss understanding and I would correct it at the business meeting. I watched as you walked across that restaurant and became angrier with each step, do you realize how hostile you were to me? I left that meeting wondering if you would be able to even work with the female Sinclair executives or women in general."

I moved to kneel in front of her chair and took her hands in mine. "I was a jackass Bella, I understand that and I can't explain my behavior. I was angry at myself, a large part of me wanted to throw caution to the wind and get to know you but the part that has been hurt over and over was screaming no make her leave you alone. In the end the hurt part won, I opened my mouth and said whatever it took to push you away. I dreamt of you again that night only this time I saw your face and you were looking at me with such love, I didn't think it was possible for someone to love me like that and I wanted that dream to be true. That is when I realized exactly what I had done and I was going to talk to you and apologize and beg for another chance but then the Gala happened. You have to believe that I had no idea what Tanya was going to do and then you were saying how I deserved someone like her and I was pissed but when I thought of how I treated you I understood what you meant. I don't want her, I don't want someone like her and I don't want someone like you Bella, I want you - only you. I want to prove to you that I want you and can change to be the man you deserve. I just need a chance to do all of that, can you give me that chance?"

She took a deep breath and looked at me but didn't speak, that was when my hope started to fade.

BPOV

I moved my hands to hold his face, he looked so dejected, the truth was I wanted to give him a chance and I knew he was trying but would he be able to expand on that. "Edward, I want to give you that chance I really do but you have to understand that I do quite a bit of hands on volunteer work and I host a party every year for the residents of Hope House among others. There is no nice way to say this, I am aware of how you feel about the less fortunate Edward. Is that something you think you can work on because helping people is a very big part of my life."

"Yes, I know I can Bella. Before I turned into a jackass I actually did some volunteer work and believe it or not I respect someone who works hard to make a better or more fulfilling life for their family. When I say I want to change, Bella what I mean is I want to change back to the man I used to be before the bitterness consumed me. You can help me get back to that man Bella, I know you can." Edward looked so earnest it was impossible to doubt his sincerity.

"Ok Edward I am giving you the chance you want but I will not hesitate to call you out on your bullshit if need be."

He started laughing, picked me up and swung me around. "I fully expect you to, no one does that to me better than you and I hope you never stop. I keep telling you - you make me a better man, I want you to call me on my shit and make me take an honest look not only at past actions but present ones too. I know you can't fix me but I am hoping with your help I can fix myself."

"Good, because that party I always host is in a few weeks and I want to you to come as my date for the day. The Sinclair executives decided they wanted their yearly summer party at Sinclair House this year so I am combining the 2 and it should be fun, it usually is. I am not sure the island is ready for it but I can deal with them."

"I will gladly come as your date but what do you mean the island may not be ready for it?" Edward was back to smiling and the mood had lightened.

"Let's just say, it is a good thing your parents are my closest neighbors they will at least be understanding. The party progresses as the day does, it starts out in the morning and afternoon with carnival/beach party atmosphere aimed at kids and by the time it is dark it is the adults partying with the bands playing and the booze flowing. It is an opportunity for everyone to really cut loose in a safe place. I provide babysitting services and a place for everyone to sleep. You will love it and you should invite your family too."

"I will tell them about it, my parents are having a BBQ next weekend that I would like you to attend with me. I am sure it will be stuffier than yours but I am required to be there and I would like you to be my date. You should know that the Denali's will be there, all of them."

"I can handle Tanya, don't worry about that Edward and I promise to be on my best behavior."

He laughed, "It is not your behavior I am worried about and I am sure you can more than deal with Tanya. Thank you for agreeing to go with me. Now, I am going to run home and change my clothes but I was hoping that I could come back around dinner time, make a fire on the beach and cookout. Roast hot dogs and S'mores just like at camp, what do you think of that?"

I couldn't help myself, I laughed. "Did you ever go to summer camp Edward?"

"Well no, but I have heard stories and seen movies and I am sure I can pull it off with the right incentive."

"Camp it is then and if you are lucky I will let you kiss me when the counselors aren't looking."

"Very funny Bella, but I will take that kiss any way I can get it. I will bring everything with me, all you have to do is supply the beach."

"I happen to have a rather large supply of beach and you can have full use of it tonight. I want to thank you for everything you shared with me this morning Edward. I know it wasn't easy for you and I am glad you feel you can trust me with it."

"I do trust you Bella. I don't want to have any secrets from you."

"I don't want any secrets from you either but I'm afraid it will take longer for me to tell you everything than it did you to tell me. But, it the spirit of no secrets you have a choice to make. Tonight I can either tell you about my life with Edgar or the reason I have so much security. I'm sorry I just can't go through both stories in one night but I will tell you whichever one you decide on. I trust you Edward. I want you to know that."

"Thank you for trusting me and I will let you know tonight which one it is, ok?"

"That's fine. Now go so you can come back already." I laughed and kissed him then he went to gather his things to go. As I watched him walk to his car I couldn't help but notice what a fine ass that man had and I had to admit maybe Edgar had known what he was doing after all. I wonder what Edward will think of that part of the story. I was brought out of my thoughts when my cell phone beeped, I looked at the caller id and smiled.

"Heidi it has been too long. How are you doing?"

"I am good Bella. How are you?"

"Fine. Busy."

"From what I hear you are much better than fine, rumor has it that you have managed to snare the attention of one Edward Cullen. Do you have any idea how badly you have angered one Tanya Denali?"

"Really, because you know, it has always worried me what she thought of me. Seriously though Heidi, I am sure I have. She has tried to warn me off of him several times already and it hasn't worked. She has known him for years, I would say her time has passed. I am curious how you found out about all of this though?"

"From Tanya."

"What? I had no idea you knew her."

"Her sister married one of my cousins, small world. Since she can't scare you off she plans on putting Edward in a very compromising position with a woman and leaving them for you to find. The goal is for you to then run away and leave him alone so she can comfort him."

I started laughing. "Does she know that you and I know each other?"

"No, when she first mentioned your name I tried to tell her but she cut me off. Once she told me what she wanted I decided not to tell her at all. I told her no, I didn't think my husband would appreciate me doing that and she hung up on me."

"So she has no idea we are loosely related?"

"Not a clue. I would have thought my maiden name being Sinclair would have been a tipoff. She seemed really desperate Bella, be careful with her."

"I will Heidi and thanks for the heads up. I think it may be time to put her in her place for good. I'll be sure to let you know how things go. Bye."

So Tanya was scheming a plan and a stupid one at that, Heidi's family was wealthy but not the extent Edgar's had been, that was probably why she didn't put together that I would know Heidi. I would have to be sure to warn Edward about it. I was also curious as to what he had found out about Aro's recent dealings, it was not like Aro to be quiet this long and it made me nervous.

I spent the rest of the afternoon planning the announcement in San Diego for the new office and lining up the entertainment for the party in a few weeks. I am not sure the island is ready for this type of party but they would have to deal it, I had the permits and it would be on private property - my property. Still I was sure this would earn me another black mark in Seattle, I just couldn't find it in myself to care.

I had showered and dressed for an evening on the beach when I went downstairs and noticed that Edward had already arrived and was setting everything up. He had quite the fire pit and fire going with a table and two chairs, so we could roast our hot dogs. I noticed he had everything needed to make S'mores also and I couldn't help but laugh which alerted him to my presence.

"Hey you," he said as he wrapped me in a hug and led me to a double chaise lounge he had set up. "I just about have everything ready then we can roast our dinner."

"I take back what I said about camp Edward, you have done a great job here and it looks like fun."

"Thank you Bella, I think it will be fun too." Then he proceeded to cook me one of the best hot dogs I have ever eaten. As we were eating I told him what I had found out about Tanya and her plan.

"I can't believe she would do that Bella. I have no idea what to say, it is like everything she has said and done to this point is a lie."

"She is desperate and that is causing her to do desperate things. This has to be more than personal Edward, if this was just because she wants you for herself she would try to wait me out longer. She needs this to happen soon for some reason. You have to be careful Edward. If she plans on doing this where I find you then it must be during something public, she could never gain access to my house or yours, so she must be planning it during a party or some event that she thinks she will have easy access to. You may want to tell your family about this so they can keep an eye out for you."

"This is beyond embarrassing Bella, the last thing I want to do is tell my family. I wish we could get away with not inviting her to anything but the families are too close to do that without creating suspicion."

"I understand you don't want to tell them but you need to Edward. She has to know you will not just go along with this, so she is going to have to incapacitate you in some way. Your family can keep an eye on you when she is around, to make sure she doesn't drug you or worse."

"Do you really think she is capable of that Bella?"

"Did you decide which story you want to hear Edward?"

"Yes but I don't understand what that to do with this, I mean..."

"Which did you choose?"

"Bella, really with Tanya..."

"Which one?"

"Why you have so much security."

"I thought it would be that one. I will tell you the whole story but here is why I believe Tanya is capable of this. I was taken Edward, twice actually, but the first time was as child by one of my tutors. I was young and don't remember clearly but I do know it had to do with my father's business and the tutor's children were taken and beaten badly unless he delivered me. So to save his own children he took me and I have never blamed him for that. So do I think Tanya could this, if the right thing is used against her then yes she is very capable of this. Please take this seriously."

He moved us on the chaise so that I could curl up in his lap close against his chest. I was small compared to him and he easily held me and rubbed my back. "I had no idea Bella, I will take this seriously, I promise you, I will. Do you think you can tell the story, if not that is fine - I can wait."

"It's ok I can tell you. Like I said the first time I don't remember much, I was around 8 when it happened. I know it had to do with my dad's business and that I was only gone a few days. After that I never went anywhere without bodyguards, a lot of them. It was also after that incident that I had a tracking device imbedded in the back of my neck, just above the hairline."

"You have a what?"

I moved my hair and took one of his fingers so he could feel it. "Do you feel that little ridge?" He nodded. "That is a tracking device, if I am ever taken they can track me very quickly. The first one was implanted when I was 8 and I have had them removed and replaced every five years since then."

"I have no idea what to say, I never expected anything like this."

"I know but I understand it. I had just been returned from being taken by someone no one would have ever expected. My parents made sure if anything like that happened gain they could immediately find me. It isn't always active but recently, with the Jacob situation, Stephen asked for permission to activate it and I told him fine. On a screen right now in one of the security rooms is a monitor that shows my exact GPS location. If you would like I have a number I can give you and should anything ever happen when we are together you call it and tell them I have been taken. That phone call will set in motion a network of things to find me."

"I definitely want that number Bella, I want you as safe as possible. You mean the world to me, I couldn't bear it if anything ever happened to you." I nodded and hugged him tighter to me. "Can you tell me the rest?"

"Over the years the security around me evolved to the close and loose system we have now but they were always there. When my parents died and Aro was trying to take over the company an attempt was made, while I was not taken several bodyguards were killed. Edgar took over and we married, I was volunteering at different organizations and in order to continue Edgar insisted I take self defense. I started with Judo and Tae Kwon Do, both strictly defensive. After the incident with Mary's husband, Edgar insisted that I work with Sensei Moore. He taught me Ninjutsu and Muay Thai, they are very aggressive, offensive martial art styles and I am a black belt in both. After Edgar decided to get rid of Aro and his on the side business I was taken from the estate grounds in Chicago. They are pretty sure I was shot with a drugged dart because no struggle was detected and I would have put up a fight. The thing that bothers me the most is that it has never been determined to what extent Aro was involved and since I pretend to know nothing about his side business I can't dig to deeply into it." I chanced a glance at Edward and I was unsure what the look on his face meant, he was shocked, saddened and furious.

"Edward, are you ok? Do you want me to stop?"

"I'm fine Bella." He said as he pulled me tighter to him, he looked anything but fine. "Just finish the story." His voice was tight, he didn't sound fine either.

"That abduction is what brought about the guard dogs, the sweeps for bugs, the panic button and the fact that now my detail is mostly ex-military. It was discovered that they had bugged the house, so they knew when to take me and that I had been studying martial arts, what they didn't know about was the tracking device. I was rescued two days later and have been shadowed every single day since then. Whatever house I am in is swept weekly and never the same day, if an outside contractor comes in to fix something it is done again as soon as they leave." I peeked up at Edward again and he looked even more upset. I pulled out of his embrace so I could see his face.

"Edward, I understand this is a lot to take in and even harder to live with every day. If you want to stop this, if you want to walk away I understand, I do, I am just so used to it is second nature to me. But to someone new I am sure this appears to be...crazy." He still hadn't said anything and I was getting worried. "Edward, I do understand if you need time to think about this or need to get away..." He pulled me close to him again and his voice was shaky when he finally spoke.

"Bella I do not need time, I am in this with you now. I can't walk away from you, I won't. You mean too much to me. I want you safe Bella that is all that matters to me. I did notice you left some things out. Who took you and how did they treat you? Why has this never been made public?"

"I will answer your questions as best I can. Who took me - I don't know. I know it had to do with business and I know that once I was back with Edgar retribution against who did it was swift and merciless. I overheard a phone call of Edgar's once and that is the only reason I know, he refused to discuss to with me. How did they treat me - I wasn't raped. I was beaten but that is only because I fought back. Once the drugs wore off they were moving me and I beat the crap out of two of my guards before they subdued me again. After that I was kept in a room by myself. As far as making it public, you know how these things work Edward, they are never made public unless the victim dies. Edgar would have killed anyone who even tried to insinuate that he couldn't protect his own wife."

"What kind of hell did he drag you into Bella? I never would have suspected any of this."

"I know Edward and I will tell about my marriage eventually but I just can't tonight. Edgar was not a bad man, it is important that you remember that and for the most part we were very happy. In reality he didn't pull me into anything, it started when my parents died and I don't think I would have survived without him. Don't judge him until you hear the entire story."

"I'm not and I won't Bella, I promise. Although I do need to admit that I want to keep you with me at all times so I know you are safe. How sure are you the Aro was involved in the abduction?"

"Very, the timing was too convenient for him not to be involved."

"We have been looking over the contracts overseas that he pushed and we did work on, we are finding discrepancies in the shipping documents. We will need to step things up and see if we can catch him. He has been staying away from us since the meeting and that won't do, we need to make him comfortable again."

"Well I am comfortable right here Edward, you make me feel very safe and secure." He gave me a little squeeze. I could feel myself drifting off to sleep.

"Stay with me." I could have sworn I heard him say "Forever Bella" right before I went under.

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