As the twins' first birthday approached, their parents were anxious. Kakuzu wondered the expenses for a gift and a party. He did not want a party since the children would not necessarily remember it but his husband insisted (withholding bed privileges as blackmail). The day before the party, Hidan was cleaning his blade in the living room, keeping an eye on the kids as they rolled a ball back and forth.
"Mom." Hidan froze, eyes narrowing at his daughter.
"It's 'dad', Shikari." He corrected.
"Mom."
"Dad." He scowled, pointing to himself.
"... Mom." She repeated, holding her arms out to him.
"Dad." He growled, pulling her to his lap.
"Dad." She babbled, cuddling into his chest.
"... Bitch you did that on purpose." He huffed then looked at his son.
He was alone now, staring at them with his pink eyes. Kakuzu and Hidan had both given up hope that he would ever make a sound. They had not even heard him laugh. After a moment longer of staring, he turned his attention back to the ball, struggling to his feet. As Hidan had his hands full with Shikari, he was unable to catch him when he fell to the ground. He frowned and scoot over to his son, trying to pick him back up without upsetting Shikari.
Moku's face was scrunched as though he wanted to cry but he made no sound. Hidan noticed a bump on his head and sighed, beckoning Moku over by calling his name. The toddler crawled over and Hidan leaned down to kiss the bump.
"Klutz." He sighed with a small smile. "You stay here. I'm going to hand your sister to your father."
He got up, Shikari cradled in his arms on the way to his room. Kakuzu was counting his money when his daughter tumbled onto the desk, rolling over the neatly stacked bills. He growled and whipped around to glare at Hidan but the immortal had already vanished back to the living room. He grumbled under his breath and made Shikari sit up in front of him.
"Mom." She smiled, tugging his hair, pulling his head down to the desk.
"Ow. I'm not your mom, sweety, I'm your father." He struggled to keep his calm, prying the little hand from his hair. "Let go."
She obeyed but then reached for his money. He gave a jolt when she grabbed a wad of cash and threw it on the floor. He scowled and rolled his chair away in order to pick it up. This just gave her the chance to shove more off and put some in her mouth.
"Gak! Spit that out! You'll ruin them." He snapped, pulling the paper out of her mouth.
He cursed when her eyes began to water. He grabbed her when she started to cry and stood, bouncing her slightly in his arms. In the living room, Hidan was pulling Moku to his feet, helping him walk. After a few hours, Kakuzu had settled Shikari in—after changing her soiled diaper—and Moku could walk fairly well on his own. Hidan scooped the exhausted child up and carried him to his room where Kakuzu was tucking Shikari in.
"Any problems?" Hidan snickered knowingly when they reached their bedroom—he could see the scattered money.
"Hmph." He grunted and flopped onto the bed. "What were you doing with Moku?"
"Teaching him how to walk." Hidan shrugged, joining his husband.
"You didn't tell me?" Kakuzu pouted, rolling on his side to face Hidan.
"Didn't think you'd care. You can teach Shikari though." He smiled, rubbing their noses together.
"Hidan, Pain informed me we're entering a period of rest until further notice."
"What for?" He tilted his head as Kakuzu began to attack his neck with kisses and nibbles.
"Dunno... Might have something to do with Konan and Phox." He shrugged, letting his hand run along his partner's sides.
"So what did you get the twins?" Hidan inquired, playing with Kakuzu's bangs.
"A new ball... some clothes..." He shrugged. "There's not much."
"Yeah..." Hidan sighed, nuzzling close to Kakuzu. "Wonder what the others will bring them..."
–
The next day, Hidan and Kakuzu woke early to their daughter's hungry cries. Hidan rolled out of bed first, closely followed by the older male. Hidan took Shikari to the kitchen while Kakuzu checked Moku's diaper. Once the children were fed, the others arrived with their kids and gathered in the living room. Deidara and Sasori presented their gifts first.
"That better not explode..." Kakuzu murmured as Deidara handed his kids a little clay figure.
"Nah... Danna revoked my exploding clay privileges long before I got pregnant, hm." Deidara grinned.
"Smart move." Itachi whispered to Sasori.
Hidan moved on to the present from Sasori to reveal a little puppet without strings. He explained that the strings would have probably been a hazard. Itachi had gotten Moku a book and Kisame handed Shikari some clothes. Hametsuki stepped up with some gifts of her own. She handed her old toys to Shikari and another book to Moku.
"Happy birthday." She smiled, revealing her sharp needle-like teeth.
The two year old then walked back to her parents' sides, holding their hands. Moku had already opened one of his books, randomly flipping pages. Shikari was staring at Hametsuki from her dad's arms. Spotting this, Itachi and Kisame let go of Hametsuki to play with her. Sasori and Deidara kept hold of their daughters, watching from the loveseat. Hidan and Kakuzu gathered the toys and took put them up. Hametsuki was playing with Shikari and a ball. Soon, Moku had joined in the game.
"Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." Hidan called from the kitchen.
–
Six months after their birthday, Hidan was stuck cleaning the kitchen while Kakuzu was out with the twins. Lately, Moku had been mimicking him, sometimes helping Hidan clean. Seeing this, Kakuzu decided to take them out while he trained. Hidan would be joining them the moment he finished his chores. He headed outside, grabbing his scythe on the way. Kakuzu was in a clearing, his hearts out, roaming around. The wind mask, however, was curled up with the kids like a dog.
"Kakuzu!" The addressed looked up, waving his partner over.
"If we go soft because of these kids, we're dead." Kakuzu said with a grin.
"Hmph. I'm immortal, dumbass." He paused, pulling out his weapon. "And now you are too."
Kakuzu smirked and his masks—save the 'babysitter'—slunk back to his side. Kakuzu raised his arms and the fight began. Hidan charged at the lightning mask first as it was the closest. Moku nuzzled his father's heart while Shikari watched the fight with wide green eyes. She cried out when her dad hit the ground, getting Moku's attention. Kakuzu approached his partner, glanced at his kids, sent the lightning mask over to calm them, and then grabbed Hidan by the hair.
"Fuck! Let go of my hair, prick! It hurts!" He snarled, grabbing the hand gripping his hair.
"..." Moku blinked at the lightning mask, holding his arms up to it.
The creature sat on the ground, holding Moku while Kakuzu and Hidan continued their fight. Hidan had managed to free himself, holding his scythe against Kakuzu's throat. Immediately, the fire and earth mask attacked, pulling the blades away with their threads. Kakuzu smirked and called them off. They went to Moku whom was already fast asleep. Shikari was still watching the battle carefully.
"Hidan, we're doing hand-to-hand combat now." He called to his partner.
Hidan nodded and dropped his scythe. Once their fight was done—with Kakuzu winning—they put away their weapons. Moku woke up as soon as the fire mask (they passed him back and forth) had set him down. He waved to them as they slipped back into his father's back. Hidan picked Shikari up, ignoring the fact she was playing with the blood from his injuries. Moku was taken by Kakuzu.
"After we've settled, we can teach them our techniques." Kakuzu murmured, following Hidan back inside.
"Moku seemed to like yours." He smiled. "It was fucking adorable to see those hearts babying them."
–
"Momma!" Shikari cried for what felt like the hundredth time that night.
"Hidan, I think she wants you." Kakuzu grumbled from his desk; he had given up on sleep after the first dozen or so times.
"Fuck..." He grumbled. "I just put her to sleep."
"She doesn't want me." He shrugged as he heard Hidan pad over to the door.
"I swear, whenever I find out who taught her to call me mom..." His voice followed him down the hall.
Shikari was sitting up in her crib, throwing a tantrum. She struggled in his arms, kicking and screaming. Startled, he dropped her back in the crib. She got right back up and started to shake the bars. Hidan sighed, picking her back up. After awhile, he realized she was pointing to her brother's crib. Curious, he approached it and set her next to him. She crawled on top of him yet from Moku there was no protest. Hidan's heart jumped and he pushed her aside and picked Moku up. His head lolled back and Hidan panicked, calling Kakuzu in.
Kakuzu dropped his money and rushed over. Hidan had Moku on the changing table, the only surface, and was checking his pulse. He cursed and Kakuzu came over, droning out Shikari's cries.
"What happened?"
"He's not breathing and his heart stopped." He explained, his throat tight.
"Shit, move over." Kakuzu grunted, moving him aside to check on his son. "Go get Kabuto."
"Damnit... they're supposed to be immortal." Hidan snapped but obeyed, heading to the door.
"Get Shikari out of here, she's distracting me."
Hidan made a quick u-turn back to their daughter and scooped her up. He went to the living room, setting her on the couch. Hidan began to weave signs to summon one of the Jashin messengers. A skeleton cat appeared and he passed the message before sending it to Phox. She was the only one that knew Kabuto's whereabouts. He then sat beside Shikari, holding her close. He soothed her, patting her back while waiting for Kakuzu.
After awhile, Hidan had begun to doze off, Shikari still wide awake. Only when Kakuzu entered with Moku did she drift off. Hidan started, seeing Moku squirming in his husband's arms. He breathed in relief, uttering a prayer to Jashin. Kakuzu brought their son to the loveseat and switched kids.
"Looks like Jashin blessed them with immortality after all, Hidan." He smiled, kissing his forehead.
"Do you know what happened?" Hidan whispered.
"It was SIDS." Phox said, appearing from the shadows with the skeleton cat on her shoulder. "Suffocated, most likely. I'm glad he is alright now though."
"You knew?" Hidan snarled.
"No. I made an educated guess." She replied coolly. "At least you know they're immortal now." She dipped her head and then vanished with the Jashinist cat.
"Bitch..." Hidan huffed, nuzzling his son's hair.
"You okay?"
"I thought she was just crying because she wanted attention..." Hidan sighed. "Itachi said they're at the age of wanting constant mothering..."
"She has been calling you 'mom'..." Kakuzu mused, nudging Hidan. "He and Deidara must be the reason."
Hidan smiled and leaned on him, starting to drift off again. Kakuzu smiled too and leaned his head on Hidan's, their children held close to their hearts as they fell asleep.
–
Two more months passed and the Akatsuki artists got stuck babysitting the immortal duo's kids. Sasori placed paper in front of them, handing them a crayon to keep them occupied. Their daughters were now a year old and watched enviously as their father played with the other twins. Deidara sighed, pulling his fingers through Aoi's hair. Unfortunately, both of the strawberry-blonde, blue-eyed girls were identical, save one little difference. It was their hands—Aoi had the hand mouths, Akane did not.
Akane snuggled up on her dad's lap, wanting him to give her the same treatment. He smiled and did so, watching Sasori focus on what Moku was scribbling. Shikari had already grown bored, drinking water from her magenta cup. Deidara quirked a brow, catching Sasori's eye.
"He's scribbling Kakuzu's masks." He explained. "And naming them."
"Oh? Can I see, hm?"
"Later... He'll probably throw a tantrum if I take it." He laughed. "How are they?"
"They look sleepy, hm." Deidara watched Akane yawn, making Aoi follow the chain. Shikari followed and then, to their surprise, Moku opened his mouth, mimicking the yawn; silently though.
Sasori pulled the duo to their room, Deidara on his heels. They put both sets of twins in their crib with their own sibling. Elsewhere, Kakuzu and Hidan were heading to a bounty exchange. They had gone on a quick hunt after Kakuzu was informed of a purchase for Amegakure's benefit. A man greeted them, eying Hidan with slight distaste. Kakuzu said nothing, accepting the money.
"Guh... this place still reeks." Hidan whined, heading for the exit.
"Why do you keep coming in then?" Kakuzu sighed, still flipping through money.
"Just hurry it up. We left them with the fucking bomber, in case you forgot." He hissed.
"And puppet will keep bomber in line." Kakuzu rolled his eyes, closing his case.
"Fuck you... I'm going home." Hidan sniffed, leaving the exchange.
"Kakuzu-sama..." The man began.
"You know me. I say nothing on my personal life." He said, his eyes narrowed.
"... Hm... I miss your last partner. He at least had interest in money."
"Yeah... stole it right from under my nose too." He growled.
"Haha. Poor bastard..." He patted a door. "He had quite a bounty though."
Kakuzu nodded and then left, finding Hidan using the urinal. He smirked and set down his briefcase before wrapping his arms around Hidan. The male jumped and cursed. Luckily he had just finished. He whipped around to glare, only to meet his husband's lips through the mask. Hidan huffed and struggled out of his arms.
"Fuck, just how much money did you get?" He scowled.
"Enough to get a hotel for the night." He replied.
"No. I want to get back to my kids. After that incident with Moku-"
"We're going and that's final, bitch." He snapped, picking up his briefcase and partner. "The kids will be fine for one night. They're immortal."
–
Kakuzu smiled down at his prey, licking his lips. The 'prey' was struggling to free himself from the threads binding his limbs, spreading his legs. Kakuzu was stroking himself, knelt over Hidan, close to his face. He scowled at the elder, his own member aching, longing for a similar treatment. He looked away from his husband's busy hands when he heard a moan and could see Kakuzu was close.
"Kakuzu, don't waste it!" He shouted, hoping to stop his actions.
"S-Shut up... I won't waste it... you're going to eat it, bitch." He growled between his pleasured sounds.
"Ugh. But what if you can't get it back up after? Then I'll be left horny as fuck 'cause you were being a selfish bastard." He complained.
"That would be your fault." He managed to smirk. "If I can't get it up, it's because you're not a very good whore."
"Fucking prick." He shouted, trying to throw Kakuzu off of him.
He bucked, brushing the man's lower region. It was all Kakuzu needed and he clenched his teeth as he released. Hidan had been shouting at the miser but he soon quieted as he began to couch on his partner's come. Kakuzu panted, placing his hand on Hidan's cheek, spattered with white.
"Beautiful." He smirked, kissing him deeply.
Hidan was about to complain until he felt Kakuzu's erection. He smirked into the kiss, moaning as Kakuzu cleaned his seed from his mouth. Hidan, after being released, grabbed Kakuzu, pulling his erection down to his own in order to rub them together, painfully slow. Kakuzu broke away from the kiss and started to suck on his neck. Hidan moaned again and Kakuzu sat up, his hand replacing Hidan's around their shafts. His hand was larger and warmer so he got them closer to the edge. He pulled back and pressed a few of his threads to Hidan's hole, having them stretch it for him while he returned to kissing his lover, stroking him.
"Ready?" He murmured, nibbling his partner's ear lobe.
"Hurry the fuck up." He whined, moaning as the threads found his prostate.
Kakuzu obliged, pushing his member in next to the threads. Hidan gasped at the added pain, throwing his arms around Kakuzu's neck. They stilled for a moment, enjoying the feel before Hidan loosened and Kakuzu began to pull out. He thrust back in carelessly, without warning and Hidan cried out. He used his threads to locate and lead him to Hidan's prostate and then aimed for it with every thrust. As his control began to slack, he began to stroke his partner and went slower.
Hidan groaned as he released, unable to hold it in. Kakuzu grunted and continued to stroke him through his orgasm. He gave a spasm and tightened, helping Kakuzu over his edge. He spilled his seed within and held Hidan close. After awhile, he pulled out and kissed his partner before they fell into a peaceful slumber. This time, no kids were there to disturb them.
–
Kakuzu and Hidan returned home to find their twins sleeping peacefully. Deidara and Sasori took their own twins and left once the immortals arrived. Hidan smiled, stroking Shikari's silvery head before switching to Moku's light brown. Kakuzu headed to the kitchen to check their supplies but stopped when he saw a scribble on the fridge. He pulled it off and recognized his masks, each with a name scribbled near them. He knew it was Moku's doing as he had been teaching his son to write upon realizing they would never hear him speak.
He smiled and taped it back on the ice box before opening it. He sighed, seeing they would need to go... shopping... for more food. He slammed it closed after grabbing some baby food and went back to the nursery. Hidan was holding Shikari and Moku on his lap on a chair Kakuzu had bought just for the nursery. He held up the baby food and Hidan nodded, repositioning the twins so his husband could feed them.
"Kakuzu..." The addressed looked up from an annoyed Shikari (she wanted to feed herself), "Six more months..."
"... It'll be fine, Hidan." Kakuzu smiled slightly, handing to food and spoon to their daughter to cup Hidan's cheek. "We're immortal." He said, kissing him lightly.
Chu~ I just want to get their 'deaths' over with. Screw Kabuto resurrecting the Akatsuki. He's going to go into hiding too. -fumes- Kishimoto needs to stop screwing the plot! It's screwing with mine. … Still love the manga though. xD -waits for the next chapter-