Chapter 14

EPOV

I awoke feeling very fuzzy with a splitting headache and my family surrounding my bed. They asked me what I could remember and I explained everything right up until the point it went black. I looked around the room again and didn't see Bella. Where was she? I tried to ask several times but I kept getting cut off. Carlisle was explaining about the drugs and Tanya and Jane, when he moved on to Bella addressing the crowd I hit my patience limit. "Enough of this, where is Bella?"

I looked at each member of my family and noticed Esme was carrying something back from my desk. My name was on the envelope and I recognized Bella's writing. "She left?"

Mom nodded and sat on my bed. "She said the letter explains everything Edward."

I grabbed it out of her hand and was going to rip it in to little pieces, I can't believe she left me. Mom held my hands before I could tear it. "No Edward, where she went is in that letter, she wants you to find her."

Hey, right she wants me to find her. "Then why did she leave?"

"She cares for you very much and realizes that you need time to process everything that has happened. She is letting you go, if that is what you choose."

"She thinks I can just let her walk away from me?" That hurt, did she not realize how much she meant to me.

"No, if she thought that she wouldn't have told you where she is. I think she knows how you will decide but realizes you still have to make the decision. Read the letter Edward."

Everyone left the room as I opened the letter. I called out to mom and asked that whenever they have dinner to just send a tray to my room. As they shut the door I stared at the letter, did I really want to know what it said? What the hell happened yesterday anyway? It was like an episode of the Twilight Zone. I couldn't concentrate on that until I knew what Bella was thinking. I took a deep breath and resigned myself to fight for her if this letter was a goodbye, I am not letting her go.

My Dearest Edward,

This is not a goodbye letter. I thought I should put your mind at rest right off the bat and I know you well enough to know that is what you were thinking as you opened the envelope. There are several things I need to explain so please bare with me and know that actually, my hope is that this will be more of a hello to the next stage in our relationship.

First, I was surprised at how vocal people were yesterday in their disdain for me. While I expected their reaction I was surprised that much of what was said was an insult to you also and I don't think they even realized it.

Second, even with the warnings I gave you about Tanya I know you didn't believe that she would actually do anything.

Third, I am positive by now you must be wondering what kind of life I had with Edgar. Let me assure you that what is happening now is pretty much the same as the worst things that happened while we were together.

Last, with everything that has happened I feel you need to know that I do not think I could ever make Seattle my permanent home.

These are all things you need to seriously consider Edward. It is one thing to hear about how someone is treated by their peers and quite another to experience it first hand. The things that are happening to you and your family can be traced back to your association with me.

I do not doubt your feelings for me Edward, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you care for me, deeply. I also know, as do you, that sometimes feelings are not enough to override the other things in one's life that are also important, such as family and business reputation. I am giving you a chance Edward and a choice.

A chance to evaluate what has happened so far and how it affects you and your family. A chance to figure out how much worse things may get and exactly where your limits lie, everyone has a limit and you need to determine yours. A chance to determine where exactly you want things between us to go and if the future costs may be worth it, a chance to have your fireplace dream come true.

This is where your choice comes in, the choice I was never given. We were married before I realized the full impact it would have on my life. I loved the life Edgar and I lived but it came with consequences that, had I been aware of them, would have been handled differently from the start. As I said, the choice is not about how strongly you feel for me. The choice is about the two different paths your life can take from here. One path has me in your life as only a friend and business colleague and the other has me in your life as much more. After you have taken a long, hard look at everything, choose.

Know that I will abide by whatever you choose Edward. I only want you happy and if being away from me and the drama that surrounds me makes you happy than I only wish the best for you. But I tell myself you need all the facts to make an informed decision and it is with that in mind that I must say, my limit, the cost that is too high for me is living in Seattle. Why you ask?

I want you to choose me. I want to share that dream with you. I want to share the rest of my life with you and I would enjoy nothing more than for you to be the father of my children. I am falling in love with you Edward, I want it all but I would never subject anyone to the ridicule that comes with Seattle Society.

Should you choose as I hope you will, I am in Scotland near Dumfries at Swan Cottage in the shadow of the ruins of Morton's Castle on the loch. Choose.

Hoping -

Bella

I laid the letter down and reached for my phone, nothing had changed for me after reading it. I called the airport and the first flight out was late tomorrow morning. I would be connecting through Philadelphia and London to Edinburgh then driving to Dumfries. I picked up the letter again and began to think about what it said and everything that has happened since meeting Bella.

A lot had happened over the last few months and it was quite a bit to process, but I would not live my life with out Bella. The thought of letting her go physically hurt too much to even consider, I could live with anything as long as she was by my side. The things people were saying showed their insecurities as far as I was concerned. I was aware of how the Newton's & Stanley's operated. I had seen them zero in on other people and never given it a second thought. Their opinions were not important to me, but Bella was right, when it involved my family it was entirely different. Ultimately I did not think we could be made into the social pariahs Bella envisioned, Esme and Alice would never allow that. I would need to convince Bella of that though and that would take some time, she could really be stubborn when she wanted to.

I heard a soft knock and Alice entered with my dinner. She sat in on the desk as I got out of bed, my balance was still off and my body felt very heavy, I hoped the effects of the drugs were completely gone by morning. Alice smiled at me sadly and left. As I ate I thought about Tanya and what she had done to me. I hoped there were some type of charges that could be pressed against her and Jane but I wasn't sure. They would probably be charged with something for using the drugs but I expected it to end there and that pissed me off. I would need to think of a way to put Tanya in her place once and for all. After dinner I went back to bed, I needed more sleep if I was going to travel all day tomorrow.

I woke feeling as if I was back to my old self. I showered and packed my overnight bag. As I made my way to the kitchen I could hear my family discussing who would be the unlucky one to go to me and force me 'out of my funk' and to go after Bella. I wished them all a good morning and went to make myself some coffee for on the way to the airport. They looked shocked until I grabbed my overnight bag and turned to leave, that seemed to get them moving.

"Edward," I heard my mother say. "Where are you going? Do you want someone to come with you?"

I smiled at her, "To Scotland. I'll be back in a few days." I felt the smile get even bigger on my face, "with Bella." I heard them gasp as I walked out of the kitchen. I was going to get my girl, I wanted that future with her - kids and all.

APOV

When I first heard that Bella was gone and had only left a letter for Edward I couldn't believe it and was very angry at her. But the more mom explained what she thought Bella's reasons were I understood. It was like the saying, If you love something let it go. If it comes back to you then it is yours but if it doesn't then it was never meant to be. Bella did care for Edward, she cared enough to let him go if that is what he wanted. She just wanted him happy.

When Edward came down this morning the happiness was literally radiating off of him. He has been happier since Bella entered his life but this level of happiness put that to shame. Whatever she said in that letter he needed to hear it, he walked out of the kitchen very secure in her feelings for him and his place in her life.

As he walked out of the kitchen I looked at Rosalie and my mother, I was certain we were thinking the same thing. "Now, how exactly do we teach Seattle Society the lesson they so richly deserve? They threatened my brother's happiness and are slandering his future wife. A challenge like that can not go unanswered, can it?"

"No it can not Alice," my mother said as she went to retrieve her address book. When she returned with it and a notepad Rosalie and I pulled out our Blackberry's and we began to make two lists, one listed the people who would be on our side and the other were the people who need to learn what happened when you messed with a Cullen. Then we made notes about the dirt we had on each family and each person in that family, the only people off limits were the children, everyone else was fair game.

When we had finished dishing the dirt on everyone we realized we had some good stuff on them but nothing close to what Bella had been able to get on the Newton's & Stanley's. Rose looked across the table at me, "Where do you think she got her information from? She doesn't even live in Seattle and knew things I didn't and I have known those women most of my life."

"Maybe she had her security look into them?" I offered as an explanation. "I have no idea but whoever was digging around for her found some great stuff."

"Digging around..." I heard mom mumble. "Digging around... didn't Edward say something about Bella's reporter friend digging into things between him and Jacob Black?"

"Ms. Matthews? Yeah I think he did why?" I asked.

"I bet she is who found this information for Bella. Jules was her name." Rosalie stated.

"I still have her number from the fundraiser incident. I am going to call her from my office and see if she can help us with this at all. I'll be right back, hopefully with good news." Mom said as she left the table.

Rose and I continued to compare notes on people and add the names of people in other cities that might be able to help us. We also started to discuss what would be the best way to release our information.

"It depends on who we want to tell, if you want to tell the couple then it almost has to be a dinner party setting. If we just want to do the wives then it could be a garden party or a more relaxed setting." Rose pondered on, "I personally want to just have the wives there when we do this but air the dirt on both of them. You know it will get much bitchier and more things will come out if we don't include the husbands."

"That's true. I like the idea of a garden party or maybe some type of poetry reading or book club type meeting?" We were throwing any idea we had out there when mom reentered the room.

"I was able to get a hold of Jules and she was the one who did the research for Bella. She was more than willing to share that information with me. She said Bella didn't tell her to keep it private and the only information she automatically withholds is about Bella, Edgar or Edward. She faxed her notes over to me and I made copies for each of you. Take a look."

Oh my. Drugs- DUIs'- Affairs-Gambling addictions-Swingers parties-BDSM-Embezzling charges-Sexual Harassment. I knew my mouth was hanging open and so was Mom and Rose's.

"This is going to be too easy." I said and they nodded as we continued to plan the party that would be talked about for years.

BPOV

I loved Swan Cottage. It was off the beaten path, way off, you couldn't get to it by car. It was peaceful and the two room cottage itself was a throwback to the 12th century. A small generator had been installed but that only ran a small refrigerator and a space heater in the dead of winter. It was summer now and the garden was in full bloom. I loved to sit among the heather and lilies' and read or just enjoy the day. Unfortunately I was not capable of doing either of those pastimes today, my mind was full of the events of the last couple days.

I hoped and prayed I was doing the right thing by making Edward come to me. It may seem selfish but I remember the hurt and betrayal I felt when I realized that there were many things I would no longer have a choice about by marrying Edgar. He had wanted to keep me safe, so he hadn't explained my options as well as he should have, a decision he regretted early on in our marriage. He understood the point I had been trying to make for months finally when things came to a head in Seattle. He was sorry and started listening to my insights when we returned to Chicago but I never truly got passed the fact that if I had just been given a choice on how to handle things in Seattle maybe we wouldn't have left the way we did.

I was determined to give Edward that choice. I would explain to him when he arrived if need be but I never wanted him to resent me because he felt as if he couldn't walk away and make a different choice. If he wanted me, he would have to come to me, a conscience decision on his part to have me in his life. I was falling in love with him I knew that and I was confident he held the same feelings for me, I needed to hold onto that confidence until he arrived.

I had over a full year to come to terms with my feelings over the path Edgar set me on with this task. My feelings for Edward no longer held even a hint of remorse or betrayal, Edgar had specifically singled out Edward as potentially someone for me and I accepted that, but would Edward understand? I sincerely hoped so. I wanted to put everything behind us as much as possible and move on - together. I still needed to tell him about my marriage to Edgar but I didn't expect anything from what I had left to tell him to change his feelings for me. I need to know that Edward is mine and I wanted to show him how much I am truly his now.

Twilight was approaching so I moved around the garden lighting the torches positioned throughout. I loved this time of day, the sky was streaked red and purple and the sounds of the forest at night were coming to life. The first stars of the night were coming out when I heard it, an ATV was approaching the cottage and I sent up a silent prayer that it would be Edward. I heard the engine cut off and stood taking a deep breath, it was time to face my future with Edward by my side, hopefully.

When I turned around the sight of him took my breath away, he was beautiful and looked to be very happy. "Did you really think I would let you get you away from me Isabella?" He asked me with a smile on his face, I ran into his open arms and buried my face in his chest whispering, "I hoped not, I really hoped not."

I pulled back and cradled his face in my hands. "I am so glad you are here Edward."

He picked me up and moved to sit on the bench I had just been on hugging me to his body closely. "There is no where else I would be Bella. Wherever you are is where I have to be." He pulled back to look intently in my eyes, "Losing you Bella, that would be my limit, the cost that I am unwillingly to pay. If I lost everything else as long as I can get up every morning and say Isabella Swan Sinclair is mine, I am the one she allows to love her then I have everything in my life that I want and never thought I would get. I'll never give you up Bella, never. I want that dream with you Bella, one day I want you to be Isabella Marie Swan Sinclair Cullen."

I kissed him and put everything I felt into it, "I want that too Edward, I do."

We sat in silence for awhile, neither of us sure what to say next or where we go from here. "Edward, I hope you understand why I felt I needed to..."

"Ssshhh Bella, I understand why you left. Your letter actually explained it very well. I admit I made my flight reservations immediately after reading it, I knew nothing would change my feelings for you. After I did that I took the time to think about everything you mentioned and that is when I truly appreciated the time you were giving me. When we had dinner at the Edgewater I thought I had an idea of what you went through but at the BBQ, I have to admit I was ashamed of the people there for how they were treating you. Then someone was saying to me how smart I was for going after you and how good you would be for my career, well connected arm candy was the term used. I can't explain how that conversation made me feel...insulted, for both of us and almost dirty because I wondered how many others viewed us like that. I looked around that party and realized most of them thought that way to some extent."

"Edward, I don't think that and I understand..."

"Bella, please let me get this out." I nodded but remained silent. "Then the whole Tanya ordeal. I admit, after you warned me I still thought she would never do something like. In my...arrogance I guess I assumed I knew her better than you did and that while yes she had been pursuing me she wouldn't stoop to that. The joke was on me in the end. You have been at least a half step ahead of everyone and everything that has happened so far. It makes me curious as hell about your marriage but at the same time I really don't want to hear about you and another man, even if you were married to him."

He moved us on the bench so I was sitting with my back to his chest, wrapped up in his arms and he was speaking softly into my hair. "I thought about all of it Bella and outside of my family I do not care what people say or think about me. Yes I have to do business with them but I know why and how I got where I am today and that is all that matters. My family adores you and the fact that you make me so happy, the people that are gossiping do not mean anything to me or my family, Bella, please believe this."

"I do believe you Edward but do you see why I had to give you the choice?"

"Yes I do and I think it is the most sincere and loving thing anyone outside of my family has ever done for me. I may not have understood at first why you were doing it but once I thought through everything I did and do understand why the fact that I make the decision to have you in my life is important. Even if we can't live in Seattle, that is why you have private jets, I will live anywhere with you, us together, that is what matters most to me."

The night was growing darker around us and enough had been worked out for tonight, the rest could wait until tomorrow. "It's late Edward and you must be exhausted, let's go to bed and we can talk more tomorrow." Edward collapsed into bed, I swear he was asleep before his head hit the pillow. I slid in next to him and slept peacefully for the first time in days.

I woke the next morning feeling great, I watched Edward sleep. He was so handsome and becoming a man that I was proud to say was mine. I believed him when he said he was turning back into the man he used to be before bitterness overtook him. I think the BBQ was very eye-opening for him. He was seeing the people he associated with in a new light, they weren't talking about a random person anymore but someone who meant something to him and that changed his perception of everything. They were attacking someone whose only crime was being an outsider, it was not sitting well with him. It would be very interesting to see what the reaction was the next time we were out together in Seattle.

I rose expecting him to sleep for several more hours and decided to finalize the details for the San Diego announcement on Friday. It was mid afternoon when Edward walked out of the cottage in nothing but his boxers, damn that man looked good from the word go.

"Bella, I hate to ask this but where exactly is the bathroom?"

I couldn't help but laugh as I pointed to a modern day outhouse. "Well, Boy Scout, you are really roughing it now. Take care of your business then I will show where the shower is." While he was doing his thing I went in the cottage and pulled out 2 towels along with my shampoo and soap. The loch had a small part that been dammed off specifically for bathing, it was shallow so the water would warm with the sun. It was located close to the cottage but had cattails surrounding most of it for privacy. I wanted Edward to find me so I left a trail of clothes for him to follow. As I was soaping my upper body I thought back to watching Edward sleeping, I wanted him, I wanted to be able to claim him as mine and I wanted him to claim me in everyway as his. We had grown much closer over the last few months and he always kept things to the boundaries I had insisted on so I knew I would have to be the one to say I was ready. Considering the events of the last few days I hoped he wanted this as much as I did.

"God, do you any idea how much of vision you are like this?"

I spun around quickly to see Edward standing there in all his glory with quite the erection. I felt myself blush and then ran the soap over my breasts without even thinking. He quickly shed his boxers and walked into the water to stand behind me.

"Please tell me I can help you with your bath, my lady?" He took the soap from my hands and started running it over my stomach then threw it on the shore so he had both hands free. "You are so soft and feel wonderful under my hands my lady."

My breathing had picked up, "Thank you Sir and I do need you to help me with my bath." I swiped some of the soap off my arm and started lathering it up on his chest. "Am I allowed to help you clean up too, Sir?"

"Yes," he hissed as I ran my hands lower on his stomach. "I love the way your hands feel on me, so small but yet so strong."

He had his eyes closed as I moved my hands around to squeeze his ass as he tugged on my nipples. "Ahhh Edward that feels so good. If you like my hands on you then you will love this." I reached down and started stroking his cock. "I love how you feel in my hands, so hard and strong but so soft at the same time."

He picked me up to kiss me, "Ughhh that feels so good, damn little girl you know how to work me up."

I carefully place his cock between my lower lips so I could slide up and down with out having him enter me. "If you like my hands how does this feel then? I want to make you feel good, I want to keep my Sugar Daddy happy." I started rocking up and down his cock very slowly pressing my hips into his.

"Fuck Bella, you are so hot and wet girl and you know what it does to me when you call me that." He was rocking into my hips now too. I suddenly stopped my movements and held him tight to me. "Bella, are you okay? Did I do something?" He pulled me tighter to him, "I'm sorry baby I thought you wanted..."

I put my finger to his lips to stop him. "You didn't do anything wrong. I want you to make love to me Edward, I want to show you how very much you mean to me."

"Bella, we don't have to if you aren't ready, I'll wait until..."

"I am ready Edward, please make love to me." He moved us to the shore and spread out the towels I brought before laying me down. I suddenly felt very exposed and could feel my blush spreading.

"Sweetheart, calm down, we do not have to do this now and I don't want you thinking you need to because of what happened over the weekend. I will gladly wait until you are sure."

"I am sure Edward, it's just I haven't had...it's been a long time Edward - six years. I want this with you Edward I do. You need to know you will be the second man I have ever been with and I am nervous, I want to please you baby."

"You do please me Bella, you please me with out this. I haven't been with a woman in over a year and I am nervous too, you will be the first woman I make love to. I have had sex with plenty of women but none of them touched my heart the way you do. I love you Bella, let me show me how much I love you."

He loved me! Yes! I pulled him to me and kissed him as I ran my hand down his chest until I reached his cock and started stroking again.

"God Bella, you need to stop before I embarrass myself and cum all over you now." I giggled at him but moved my hand to grab his ass. He grabbed both my hands and held them down above my head. "You, my naughty little girl, need to behave yourself." I giggled but agreed to behave.

"Fine party pooper I promise to behave myself."

He held both my wrists in one hand and moved the other on to cradle my head. "Bella we only have one first time together." He was running his hand down my side but barely touching my skin, it was making me crazy. "I want to worship your body and show you how very special you are to me." He was running his fingers from the inside of my knee to my thigh. "No one and no thing means more to me than you do Isabella, my heart, my love." He was gently running his fingers through my folds. "So wet for me, I want to be the last man to ever touch you." He moved his thumb to rub my clit and my hips started rocking on their own. "Sshh calm down baby, I want to take my time with you." He slowly pushed a finger in me as I moaned. "You are my world Bella, the center of my universe." He added another finger and started rubbing my g-spot, I was trying to hold off my orgasm and he knew it. "Let go beautiful. I will keep you safe with me just let go." My body tensed and I was falling over the edge. "I love to watch you cum Bella, it is one of my favorite things to watch, and you look so peaceful."

He moved and positioned himself between my thighs. "Are you sure? We can wait if you want."

"I want you Edward, please, let me share this with you."

He was just about to push inside me, "Shit, I don't have a condom on me Bella, I never expec..."

"It's ok, I am clean and have been on the pill for years for medical reasons. I want to feel you."

"Ok, I'm clean too." He slowly pushed inside and god he was huge. "Fuccckkkkk Bella you are so tight. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, just give me a minute. Damn your big Edward...feels good." I shifted my hips a little and he slipped in deeper. "Fuck baby I have never been so full. I'm ok, it's ok."

He was searching my eyes to see if I was telling the truth, he could be such a sweet man. "Are you sure? I do not want to hurt you."

"I'm sure. Please move Edward, I need you to move." I begged him shamelessly. I wrapped my legs around him as he slowly started to move. I could feel the muscles in his back were bunched up as he desperately tried to control his motions. "Aaahhh you feel so good Edward. Relax you won't hurt me."

"So tight...wet...god so good Bella...so good." He was barely making sense and when I looked at his face I could tell he was holding on by a thread, I wanted him to let go.

"Faster Edward, please harder." He picked up his pace but not enough for me and he was still fighting himself, I wanted him to cum with me - what would push him over the edge? "Ugh Edward...cum with me...so good...your cock...so big." He wasn't moving as carefully now and it felt wonderful. "That's it baby...make me cum...please...love your cock..."

He picked up his pace again and moved my legs so they were hanging over his arms. "Shit Bella...dirty mouth...love your pussy...so tight...so close...fucking cum please." He changed his angle and I started thrusting up to meet his strokes, that was all it took to push me over the edge. I felt my walls clamp down on him, I arched my back and threw my head back.

"Edwardddddd" I screamed as I climaxed. He thrust a few more times before I felt him release in me. "Bellllaaaaa" he moaned before collapsing on top of me. I ran my fingers up and down his back in a calming motion while he both caught our breath. He rolled to the side of me and pulled me to his chest kissing my forehead.

"That was wonderful Bella. Thank you so much, I love you Bella with all my heart, please believe me."

I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair. "I know Edward, I do believe you." I felt bad because I wasn't ready to say it back yet.

"Don't feel bad Bella. I know you love me, I can see it in your eyes, in the way you touch me and in the way we just made love. I want you to say it when you are ready but I couldn't wait any longer. I know you love me, I can feel it and that is enough."

I was grateful he understood. I pulled his face to mine and kissed him. "Let's go inside, I'll make us a quick dinner." We picked up the towels and clothes and walked back to the cottage holding hands. I saw him look at me out of the corner of his eye.

"I never would have imagined that my sassy but incredibly sweet Bella had such a dirty mouth on her."

I smirked at him, "You have no idea how dirty I can get Mr. Cullen but I have every intention of taking all night to show you. Good thing you rested up today."

"Bring it on little girl, bring it on," he said with a wicked gleam in his eyes and I intended to.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.

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