The Bat-Bogey Hex
When the day came for the return to Hogwarts, James' parents escorted James and Sirius to King's Cross Station via the underground railway system running through Godric's Hollow. Both of his parents kept up a friendly conversation on the way, but James could sense their growing melancholy at having to let him and Sirius go. After finally reaching Platform Nine and Three-Quarters, they held the boys back for a moment to say a proper farewell.
"We'll see you soon, dear," James' mother told her son before turning to Sirius. "Be sure to tell me if you left anything behind or need more supplies, all right? I'll be more than happy to run down to Diagon Alley for you."
"I'm all set," Sirius told her, regarding her curiously while James' father patted his shoulder.
"Make sure that you keep James on his toes, all right?" he said. "He needs to be prepared for his next Quidditch match!"
"Yes, sir!" Sirius agreed, grinning, and he and James both turned towards the Hogwarts Express.
"We'll see you both at the next game!" James' mother reminded them as they headed off through the crowd of returning students. Giving one last wave, James turned around again just in time to see Sirius sigh.
"I was just starting to get used to them," he commented reminiscently before glancing at James with a smirk. "I think they like me more than you."
"That's just because they've never waited for you to get out of the shower," James retorted, pushing him aside playfully.
On the journey to Hogwarts, Sirius began to brighten with the anticipation of his revenge on Regulus, which he had relayed to James before they left Potter Cottage. The plan involved sneaking a stash of Flaring Firecrackers underneath Regulus' chair during one of his classes, which would be possible with the use of James' Invisibility Cloak. As simple as the prank sounded, there was one major flaw: neither James nor Sirius had any idea what Regulus' schedule looked like. Therefore, to rid of the issue, James tracked down Mary MacDonald on the Hogwarts Express and asked if she could get him the first-year schedule for the Slytherins. At first, she seemed reluctant, already acquainted with James' mischievous reputation, but she had finally agreed when he offered her a ride on his Airwake in return.
After arriving at Hogwarts, James and Sirius ascended Gryffindor Tower to find Peter standing just outside the Fat Lady's portrait, unable to enter. "Jelly Slug," Sirius said, and the painting swung aside to reveal the common room. "Honestly, Peter," he sighed, climbing in, "have you lost the notice about the password change already?"
"Not exactly," Peter answered, frowning despite his pleasure at seeing his roommates. "I put it on the seat next to me on the train, but it flew out of the window when we started moving."
"Next time try sitting on it," Sirius suggested. "That should keep it steady." James laughed as they climbed up to the boys' dormitories and entered their room to unpack.
"I hope I'll do better in Transfiguration now," Peter commented, opening his drawers and placing a pile of fresh shirts inside. When he turned back to his suitcase, Sirius slipped his Frog Spawn Soap inside the top drawer with a grin before Peter faced them again. "My mum made me study so much over break, I thought that my eyes would pop out."
"They still might," James piped up, unable to help himself. Peter stared at him in confusion for a moment, and James winked at Sirius when he eventually turned away again to empty his suitcase. Just then, the door to their dormitory opened, and Remus walked in with his suitcase in tow. Glancing up, the others immediately noticed several small bandages on his chin and nose.
"What happened to you?" James asked, leaning over to get a better look at his roommate.
"What do you mean?" Remus asked as he crossed the room.
"What do you mean, 'what do you mean?'" Sirius demanded, also turning to stare. "Your face is almost falling off!"
"Oh, it's nothing," Remus brushed off, but James crossed his arms.
"Is it the Slytherins again?" he questioned. "If they're picking on you, I'll—"
"No, it's not like that at all," Remus interrupted, flushing with embarrassment. "It happened over the holidays."
"What happened?" Peter asked.
"Er, it was an accident," Remus explained. "I was just being careless. You see, there are a lot of thorny bushes near my house, and I tripped."
After a short pause, James cleared his throat. "You fell face-first into a thorny bush?"
"I tripped," Remus repeated awkwardly.
"Over what?" Sirius asked.
"Er . . . a rock."
"Big rock," Sirius commented, raising an eyebrow. Reddening again, Remus laughed weakly.
"Yeah, it was really clumsy of me," he said, "but I'll be fine. Look, I forgot to get something downstairs. I'll be right back, okay?"
Rushing out of the door, he ran down the stairs and left the others standing in silence, staring at each other disbelievingly.
"Do you really think that he fell?" Peter finally asked. "He's not very clumsy."
"It's more likely he was pushed in," Sirius said, staring at the door. "I don't think that he'd put up much of a fight." After staring at the door contemplatively, the three turned away and continued unpacking before settling down for the night.
When James awoke the next morning, he made sure to stuff his Invisibility Cloak into his pocket before heading down to breakfast with his roommates. Halfway through the meal, Mary approached him and handed him a slip of paper.
"I had to hand-copy it from Higgins' schedule," she told him. "I couldn't see the last part, but I got as much as I could."
"Thanks!" James told her, scanning the note hastily; looking up a few moments later, he blinked in surprise when he spotted Mary still standing beside him with a hopeful look. "Catch me later, okay?" James asked, and she quickly flounced away with a skip in her step.
Watching her progress, Remus turned to James with a suspicious glint in his eyes. "What was that about?"
"Oh, nothing," James answered, sharing the piece of paper with Sirius. "Just a small exchange, that's all."
"For what?" Remus prodded slowly.
"For the first-year Slytherins' schedule," James replied.
Narrowing his eyes, Remus opened his mouth to say something, but he soon shut it again with a frown. "What do you need the first-years' schedule for?"
Neither James nor Sirius answered, and the latter pointed at the first class on the list. "Right there. He has Defense Against the Dark Arts in ten minutes."
"Better get moving, then," James suggested, standing up. As Sirius followed suit, Remus and Peter glanced back and forth between them.
"Where are you going?" Peter asked.
"What are you doing?" Remus demanded at the same time.
"Don't ask if you really don't want to know," Sirius called over his shoulder on the way out of the Great Hall. Within seconds, both Remus and Peter had caught up with him and James.
"Don't you remember that we have Transfiguration in ten minutes?" Remus asked.
"We'll get there eventually," James told him. "You and Peter can go on ahead."
"How come I get the feeling that you're going to set something on fire?" Remus sighed.
"That's remarkably accurate," Sirius told him, and his eyes widened in alarm.
"But—"
"You won't be able to stop us," James interjected, pointing ahead of them at the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, "but you can be a lookout if you want."
"I'll help!" Peter offered, excited at the prospect of being included in some dare-devil scheme. Now outnumbered, Remus seemed unwilling to walk away.
"We might get caught," he whispered nervously, glancing up and down the hallway.
"That's why we brought this," James told him, pulling out his Invisibility Cloak and handing it to Sirius.
"Here, hold these," Sirius told Remus, giving him a handful of Flaring Firecrackers from his pocket. Not wanting to be seen with any incriminating evidence, Remus hid them behind his back as Sirius slipped on the Invisibility Cloak. "Watch the door for me in case I need a quick getaway," Sirius spoke from underneath the hood, taking back the arsenal and hiding it from view.
As his feet padded towards the open classroom door, James and the others hurried after him and peeked into the room surreptitiously. Avoiding conversation with the students before the lecture as was his usual habit, Professor Alamanzar had his back turned to the class as he scribbled some complex wand formulas on the blackboard. Only a few Slytherins had arrived so far, and James backed away from the door as a few more entered, staring at the three Gryffindors curiously as they passed.
Deciding to play it casual, James walked to the other end of the corridor and whistled nonchalantly to make up for Remus' obvious anxiety and Peter's barely contained excitement. After a minute or so, Regulus appeared down the hall and entered the classroom, giving James and the others a sharp look before disappearing from view. As soon as he entered, the three roommates rushed to the door and watched as Regulus sat down on the far left. Wondering where Sirius was, James glanced around the room for any sign of his friend, but the door suddenly snapped shut with a wave of Professor Alamanzar's wand. All three boys huddled closer together, standing on their tiptoes to watch through the small glass pane near the top of the door. Inside, Alamanzar began his lecture, and James could just make out his muffled words through the thin wood of the door.
"The Bat Bogey Hex is one of the more powerful Dark spells of its kind, and it is very difficult to cast. I will perform the hex today, because I do not expect any of you to master it for many years."
Everyone's eyes were on Professor Alamanzar, so no one besides the three boys standing outside of the room saw the Flaring Firecracker appear out of thin air just behind Regulus' chair. After it floated into place, another one appeared and joined its twin, and Sirius' hand briefly came into view as he tied a string around the fuses and trailed the thread back towards the classroom door. As the string approached the exit, James opened the door silently and allowed Sirius to slip through the crack as the class listened to Professor Alamanzar.
"It's ready," Sirius whispered to the others, ripping off the Invisibility Cloak. "Incendio!" he spoke again, and a small spark jumped from his wand-tip and ignited the thin thread on the floor. All four boys watched in anticipation as the flame traveled down the string and under the door towards Regulus' chair.
"My demonstration requires a volunteer," Professor Alamanzar spoke from inside the classroom, grasping his hands behind his back and clearing his throat. Alarmed, the Slytherins glanced around at the others, each one not wanting to be the first to speak.
"You, join me here," Alamanzar finally announced, gesturing invitingly at Regulus. Surprised, Regulus looked over both shoulders before getting up grudgingly, an unpleasant expression on his face. Both James and Sirius looked at each other in alarm before turning back to watch the small flame work its way down to the empty chair. In front of the class, Professor Alamanzar positioned Regulus a few paces away from him and took out his wand.
"You must stay back between your opponent when casting the spell, because it is contagious at close range and may bounce back with protective measures such as Shield Charm. Do not worry," Professor Alamanzar broke off suddenly, addressing Regulus. "You do not have to do anything."
As the professor prepared his wand, Regulus looked like he just might pull out his own anyway. Watching intently, James saw Alamanzar raise his wand just as the flame reached the Flaring Firecrackers underneath Regulus' desk.
At the exact moment when Professor Alamanzar recited the incantation, a series of explosions drowned out his words, and the whole class ducked instinctively as the Flaring Firecrackers flew into the air and spun in wild circles around the room. One of them hit Alamanzar's hex, and the two collided in a tremendous blast, sending the students in the front row diving out of their chairs. As the smoke cleared, James saw that the students had all bent double, holding their noses as streams of live bats erupted from their nostrils. Even Regulus and Professor Alamanzar were clutching their faces, and the whole room broke into pandemonium as people screamed and ran about blindly.
Bending over as well, James and Sirius burst out laughing as everyone in the classroom scurried back and forth in an attempt to distance themselves from the flying terrors above. Next to James, Remus looked even more frightened than before, but Peter gave a cry of delight and clapped his hands.
"Look at them!" James cried, wiping a tear from his eyes. "They don't even know what happened!"
However, before any of the others could respond, a throat cleared unexpectedly from behind them; startled, all four boys turned to see Professor McGonagall standing only a few paces away, arms crossed menacingly. At the sight of her fierce gaze, James' smile evaporated as suddenly as it had come.
"What is the meaning of this?" she demanded. None of the boys responded, and she glared at them furiously. "Imagine me, already detained from making it to my own class on time by a situation caused by Peeves on the first floor, running into yet another ill-devised prank made by four students too preoccupied to attend class! You two I have come to expect these sorts of shenanigans from," she snapped, pointing at James and Sirius before turning on the others, "but I am astounded that the rest of you joined in with this nonsense instead of putting a stop to it!"
Ashamed, Remus and Peter hung their heads and tried to make themselves look as small as possible while McGonagall glared down at the small party. "I am unequivocally ashamed in all of you," she continued harshly. "You will continue straight to class, after which you all will receive a detention that I will decide on after dealing with your ineptitude. Is that clear?"
Sirius seemed about to say something in their defense, but he thought better of it and turned away with the others, who had begun to trudge to Transfiguration in a dead silence. As Professor McGonagall entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom to help calm the situation, James glanced cautiously at the others, a slightly nauseated feeling in his stomach. Next to him, Peter had begun to tremble in anticipation of McGonagall's wrath, and Remus wore a mixed expression of self-disgust and despair.
All four entered the Transfiguration classroom in silence, and the waiting students looked up in surprise, having expected Professor McGonagall. "Is Professor McGonagall coming?" Hillary asked, but she quieted solemnly when the newcomers refused to glance her way. As James slumped into his chair, he felt the other students staring at him, and the rest of the class began to whisper quietly for the next several minutes.
When Professor McGonagall finally returned, she strode purposefully into the room and commanded attention by slamming her notes a little too forcefully on her desk. Throughout the lecture on Conjuring Spells, she completely ignored James and his roommates, and none of them spoke up in the class discussion. After the period had finally drawn to a close, McGonagall approached the four boys without a glance at the other students, who peered at them curiously on their way out of the door.
"Hagrid has a task for you tomorrow night. Argus will bring you to his hut at six o' clock in the evening. In the meantime, I don't want to hear a single complaint from another professor about your lax attendance. If I do, you will be cleaning out the dungeons for a month in addition with your current punishment."
Turning around, she stalked away and left with the other Gryffindors, leaving the room in an uncomfortable silence as the door shut behind her. As soon as she had disappeared, Remus leaned forward and buried his head in his hands.
"Come on, it isn't that bad," James told him, finally feeling free to speak again. "It's only Hagrid."
Shaking his head, Remus said, "No, she's right. I shouldn't have gone with you." An awkward silence took over, and Sirius shared an uncomfortable glance with James. After a few moments, Remus finally stood, gathered his belongings, and left the room without another word.
James slowly followed suit, and Peter decided to take his leave after glancing between him and Sirius. Not in the mood to talk, James quickly passed into an adjacent corridor when Peter tried to catch him on the way out. Once alone, he sighed and kicked at the stone floor as he trudged forward.
Unfortunately, his solitude did not last for long. "Feeling down, Potty?" a voice called out, and Peeves the Poltergeist swooped into view, hanging upside-down as he clutched his toes.
"Go away, Peeves," James threatened, passing him without a look in his direction. Cackling, Peeves bobbed up and down after him.
"I heard you got in trouble," he continued. "How come?"
"Go bother somebody else," James responded impatiently.
"If you insist," Peeves replied, bouncing off. Surprised, James turned around to watch the poltergeist bob towards a passing first-year and grab her braid from behind.
"DID YOU HEAR?" he yelled into her ear, causing her to scream and drop her books. "JAMES POTTER AND HIS FRIENDS GOT DETENTION FOR SNEAKING A PREGNANT WAMPUS INTO THE SCHOOL! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!"
Turning back to James, Peeves smirked and floated off down the corridor, his bell-topped hat jingling as he went. Astounded, the small student seemed unsure of whether to collect her fallen items or obey Peeves' warning. In the end, she pointed her finger at James and opened her mouth to scream.
"Oh, stuff it," James told her, pulling out his wand and shooting a spell at her. Turning around, he continued walking down the corridor as she frantically tried to pry her sealed mouth open.