Chapter 24

CPOV

I walked out of the hospital room disgusted with my son and to some extent my wife. How could they treat Bella this way after everything she has done for us? Do they truly not understand the danger she has put herself in for us, for Edward? How could he question her motives for being with him, surely he realized the favors she called in to get him back and in such a way that we made all the decisions concerning the aftermath? I was bothered by Bella's response to everything also. She wasn't surprised by any of it but I am certain she was hurt by it. It made me wonder if she anticipated something like this. I knew she had become accustomed to people leaving when things became difficult in her life. Maybe I was partly to blame for not stepping in sooner and telling them to let her explain but I was focused on Edward's recovery and little else.

I watched for the next day and a half as Edward pushed Bella away and closed in on himself. It was obvious he didn't understand why Bella wasn't pushing back against what he wanted and when she respected his wishes and left him alone, I am sure he wished he had never uttered that statement. The last straw was when he was surprised that she had been on the plane with us from New York and stayed in her office. William set him straight quickly that she was giving him what he wanted but I knew I had to talk to him before his pride and insecurities broke their relationship beyond repair. I saw the look Edward gave her while she was waiting in her limo, which was where he wanted to be, with her. Once we were back in the air I asked William if I could use her office to talk to Edward.

When we were settled in her office I looked at my son, waiting for him to talk to me but after several minutes of silence I took a deep breath and prepared to involve myself in his personal life in a way I hadn't since he was a teenager. "Talk to me Edward. Things will not get better if you keep them bottled up. I know you love Bella. Where is all this coming from?"

"Why is she with me? It is from a sense of duty or to fulfill a dying man's wish? Why would he choose me? I didn't know the man. Did he pick me because she could never love me the way she did him? I am not a threat to how she felt for him and that is why I was chosen? And who actually picks their replacement? I mean what man would pick someone that could bring more joy to her life than he did?" He stopped and stared out the window uneasily. I was surprised by his statements. He was jealous and felt inferior to Edgar, interesting.

"These are your issues? Did you tell Bella this? Give her a chance to explain or reason with you?" He shook his head and continued not looking at me. "So you recognize that you are jealous and insecure, not to mention acting like adolescent even now?"

"I am not acting like an adolescent. She could have tried harder to talk to me. You might be right about the jealous thing but any other woman would have been..." I stopped him right there.

"She is not any other women Edward. Can't you see that? If she had been like the other women you have seen the two of wouldn't have become involved. She assumed, wrongly I might add, that you were acting as an adult when you asked her to back off and rather than force herself on you she gave in to your demand. How was she supposed to know you were actually thinking like a teenager and wanted her to argue and go against your wishes? Then what, you continue your pre-pubescent rant and push her away to see if she comes back, if she really means what she says?" He wouldn't look at me and I became concerned that what I thought I said in humor was close to the heart of the matter, very close. "Has she ever done or said anything to make you think she should be taken at less than face value where you are concerned?" He shook his head. "Then what in God's name made you think she would play games with you now?"

"I know she wouldn't play games with me. When I asked for space I honestly thought it was what I wanted, until I got it. I don't know why I am so jealous of Edgar. I'm not sure jealous is the right word, sometimes I am very resentful of the fact that he pulled her into his business and all that entails. Mostly it is my own insecurities. Honestly, why would he choose someone that was his equal and how did he ever focus on me anyway? Part of me doesn't like the fact that we only met because he forced her to contact me for business and I absolutely hate feeling beholden to her late husband for having her in my life at all." I sat there astonished as I watched my 41 year old son, the same son I had watched be commanding and ruthless in business, pout over his situation. I could not decide if I was more inclined to slap him and tell him to grow up or hug him and fix it for him. In the end I hoped I could give him what he needs to fix it himself.

"Edward, maybe I can put your mind at ease about Edgar and his motives." That got his attention and he finally looked at me. "I can't claim to have been close friends with him but we were more than business colleagues and I was at the lunch when he found out how Bella was being treated and decided to leave Seattle. I doubt even Bella knows I overheard part of the argument they had about moving to Chicago permanently but Edgar was aware, he saw me on the beach that night and talked to me the next day before they left."

"I didn't realize you knew him personally. Bella never mentioned it." Edward said.

"As I said Edward we were not close friends so she may not realize it was ever slightly more than business colleagues. He felt comfortable talking to me because I kept the conversations to myself. It only happened a few times and it always had to do with Bella. I think it may have been because I never judged his feelings for her, even before they were married. Edgar loved her a long time, a very long time. He essentially watched her grow up as he learned the business ropes alongside his father and hers. I think it started as him being a protector of sorts but it turned into romantic love and that was before her parents died."

"But she was 16 when her..."

"I know she was and I am sure he was in love with her even then, just biding his time. I doubt many people noticed it but when he would do business in Seattle he would see the local socialites but something in his voice changed any time he mentioned Isabella. No one was surprised when he took over Swan Enterprises after Charles died because of how close the families were but when he married Isabella, that did not go over well at all. People forgot, the socialites forgot, who she was and only saw what they had dubbed the truth, a young girl that tricked a very eligible bachelor into marriage."

"I have heard this before. What does this have to do with now?" Edward never was a patient person.

"Just listen and you will understand. He was very proud of her and her accomplishments, that was obvious and when they went out together she was treated with the respect of being Mrs. Sinclair but if she was on her own she was shunned or ridiculed. We were at a business lunch and he excused himself to make a phone call. Immediately after he left the talk started about the two of them at our table and the ones around us, he was gone less than five minutes and no one noticed his sudden return. He was incredibly angry about the things that were being spread around about Isabella and lashed out, calling people on their hypocrisy and vowing to take his business from Seattle, which he did. As I said later that night I was on the beach and heard part of their argument. She didn't want to allow the gossip to force them from Seattle, a city he had always enjoyed but he was angry and hurt by the way she had been treated and couldn't see past that and insisted they leave the next day. The next morning he was walking on the beach when I approached him about what I had heard the night before." As I thought back I could remember part of our conversation as if it happened yesterday.

"Edgar I am sorry about what happened yesterday at lunch and for eavesdropping on our conversation with Isabella last night." I told him sincerely.

"It's fine Carlisle, I knew you didn't mean to listen last night." He chuckled. "It probably would have been harder not to overhear it. She doesn't deserve this Carlisle; she is such a kind and compassionate woman. She deserves many things but what is happening to her now isn't one of them. I love her so much, I have for years. I have always been there, watching her grow and spread her wings as much as she was allowed, which wasn't much at all. For as much as she has been exposed to the world she has been extremely sheltered from it. It worries me how she will fair when I am gone." I wasn't sure what he was saying.

"You mean when you leave Seattle?" I asked.

"For as much as we love each other how sad is it that we didn't marry for love?" He almost whispered.

"It is obvious how much you to love each other Edgar. How can you say you didn't marry for love?" I questioned.

"We do love each other. If together we are Earth, then she is my sun chasing away the darkness and showing me the light, the way to live a better life and be a better man instead of a bitter one. She would tell you I am her moon. That she circles around me and could survive on her own but thrives and shines brightest when she is influencing me. That is why it hurts so much to know she endured the way they treated her for me, so we could live in Seattle. She deserves so much better than this, than all of this." He was staring out of the water, lost in his thoughts while I waited for him to continue. He was silent for so long I was getting ready to say goodbye when he spoke again.

"She deserves the romantic proposal that I had planned for New Year's Eve in Venice. What she got was a wedding officiated by a judge at Swan Manor after we had discussed the wedding like a business arrangement to keep her father's company out of Aro's hands permanently. She deserves the month long honeymoon I was planning on a sailboat what she got was a week in London because we had to get back for business. She deserves much better than me. She deserves for people to see the real her, the woman who is kind to a fault and would offer up everything she has to ease the suffering of others. She came to Seattle for me and what she received for her kindness was ridicule, being shunned and being the punch line to people's dinner jokes. I have touched her life in many ways but since her parents deaths few have been in a good way. I am working on rectifying that situation but I fear I don't have the time needed to do it properly. I wish I did have the time to live out the life I dreamed for us but I am starting to accept that fate has other plans."

"You have plenty of time to set right the things that you want to change. She sounds as if she would understand and give you a do over Edgar. You just need to ask for one." I told him.

"Yes she would give me the do over but I am not sure I have that kind of time Carlisle. I fear my time with Isabella will be limited, if nothing else then by the fact that I am much older than her. I want the man who takes my place to be worthy of her. I want him to see all the wondrous things she is and does. I want him to put her above all else in his life and accept her as she is. In business she will be a force to be reckoned with and I want him to recognize that and support her instead of stifling her. I want him to give her everything she deserves in life and love her with abandon. I want him to be a better man and husband than I am and to give her the family I can't. I want him to make her happier than she ever thought she could be, even with me."

"I feel as if I am missing an important piece of information Edgar? Why are you talking about the man to come after you, do you think she will leave you?"

"No, she loves me, leaving would never be an option for Isabella. I am worried about leaving her unexpectedly. If I could Carlisle I would find the man that would make her happy and give her everything she deserves and put a sign on him that said 'here he is, this is the one worthy of you, don't let him go'." He laughed. "But of course I will have to be more subtle than that. Isabella would have a fit, be ornery and never contact him just to spite me if she realized my true intentions. Yes, there has to be another purpose behind it." He said almost to himself.

I came out of my thoughts and looked at my son. "I think he knew then that he was sick. He may not have known how long he had but knowing that he was dying so soon after marrying Isabella hit him very hard. I am sure he worked very hard to distance himself from his less savory business practices and clients to spare her from them. Just as I am sure he never would have stopped looking for the man to take his place until he found him." I looked at Edward pointedly. "He adored her Edward and wanted better for her than living the rest of her life sheltered, with her businesses and loneliness. He wanted someone who could keep her safe from what his life brought to her and would still cherish her. He wanted her to be the most precious thing in someone's world, someone he found to be more worthy than him." We sat in silence for some time and I could see Edward turning things over in his mind. Sometimes he over thought things but I did need to live him one more thing to think about.

"If you can't be that person Edward you need to let her know, now. I am certain she thought the insecurities and indecision were behind her when you went to her in Scotland. You need to be sure this time, be honest with her if you can't put your issues behind you. Ask for time if that is what you need but continue to shut her out and you will lose her. Edgar was right, she is an amazing woman and she does deserve everything he wanted for her, if you can't be the man to give it to her then step aside and allow her to find the one who is. She deserves that Edward and she definitely deserves better than what you and your mother are giving her now."

He slumped in the chair and I patted his shoulder as I walked passed him. I hated doing this to Edward but he needed to deal with his issues and understand that he would never find another Bella. They were good for each other and good together but he had to realize it wouldn't always be easy. Relationships, marriage they were hard and he needed to trust in her and her feelings for him. Now to deal with my wife.

BPOV

I touched base with Richard about the Swan announcement taking place later in the week before arriving at the manor. I was curious as to who would be representing The Cullen Group, I assumed it wasn't Carlisle or he would have stayed in Chicago. I spent the last of the drive wondering about the look Edward gave me before I left the airport. It was obviously a look of longing, but for what?

Upon arriving at the manor I took the dogs for a walk in the garden. I wanted to e-mail Edward one more time before he landed but what exactly did I want to say. My mind kept circling back to the fact that his demeanor didn't change until I mentioned the list and Edgar. I couldn't shake the feeling that his reaction had to do with him and not me. I wasn't sure what he doubted, he hadn't reverted to the jackass I first met but pretty close. We went back inside and I went to my room and pulled out my laptop, what to say?

Edward -

I didn't expect to be here again and I am unsure as to the exact reason that we are back here but I worry that it is either because of my relationship with Edgar or some lingering doubts you have due to past experiences. Even if it is something totally unrelated I hope to put your doubts to rest.

If this is about your past experiences then I'm afraid nothing I do or say will comfort you. I can tell you how much I love you and that things with us are very different from things with Edgar but you won't hear that until you choose to. Just as I can assure you that I am not like the other women you have told me about but once again I have said that before also, it is up to you to believe that. I like to hope by now you realize I don't play games, not in business and definitely not with someone I care about, when I say something I mean it. I meant what I said in the hospital Edward, I want it all with you- marriage, kids, everything but for that to happen you have to believe also. As much as I wish it, I can't do this by myself.

My relationship with Edgar, I will explain as much as I can in an e-mail. I knew him my entire life, I can not remember a time when he wasn't in my life and I idolized him. As you know my parents were very protective of me, I rarely saw a child my own age let alone had one as a friend. I grew up watching Edgar learn the business from his father and mine. I grew up with him as my only true friend; he was always there for me. He always encouraged me to do my best, listened to me when I was scared, was a shoulder to cry on and the best person to laugh with. He never treated me as a child, even when I was one. My feelings started to change around the time my parents were killed. He helped me become emancipated and I named him as my guardian allowing him to run Swan also. I moved into his house and due to the circumstances we spent most of our time together as I learned the more intricate nuisances of the business. Let me assure you that everything remained innocent until after we married.

About six months before my 18th birthday is when we confessed that we saw the other in more than a platonic way. A few weeks before my birthday is when marriage was first mentioned and how we saw our lives together unfolding. All of those plans changed on my 18th birthday when Aro attempted to maneuver for a hostile takeover of the company. At that point we sat down and discussed ways to avoid the takeover and marrying sooner instead of later. We married, spent a week in London and returned home to announce everything and thwart Aro. It worked but I don't think Edgar ever forgave himself for not being able to give me the original plan regardless of the many times I assured him that being his wife is what mattered to me.

Life moved fluidly for a few months, during a physical in Seattle it was discovered that he had a genetic disorder, what it was isn't important, what is important is that it was found years too late to save him. Edgar was dying and he carried it as a dominant gene, he would pass it on to any children. Without consulting me he had a vasectomy performed the same week. I was devastated and he blamed himself for not being able to give me the big family we talked of. Because his time with me was limited he immediately started withdrawing from his less legal contracts in order to spare me dealing with them.

He worked for three years getting rid of them while educating me at the same time on them and all their practices so I could be prepared if necessary. They say it almost broke him when I was taken, even though I was quickly recovered he was never the same with me. We both knew I was taken because of who he was and things he had done and while I forgave him, he never forgave himself.

Between our third and fourth anniversaries is when he started to feel poorly at times. He put as much of his business on hold as he could to show me the world and how much he loved me. After that travel was touchy based on his health and access to adequate medical care. That is also the point at which, due to his medication, we stopped being intimate. You have never asked about the wing of each house that is closed. That is Edgar's wing. He insisted we each have a sanctuary, a place we could go to for whatever reason and the other couldn't enter unless invited. He spent most of his time in my bedroom; I was never invited into his. I had no idea how often and to what extent he blamed himself for what he saw as difficulties in our marriage. Had I known I never would have accepted separate rooms.

We talked about expanding The Foundation before his mobility was affected but once he was confined he had the codicil to his will drawn up and you know that story. His other favorite topic was what he wanted for me once he was gone. Above all else he wanted me happy, Edward first and foremost. He could poke, prod and scheme all we wanted but in the end he never would want something for me that made me unhappy. I think you may be under the impression that he steered me towards you because while you would be very good to me maybe not as good as he was. Nothing could be further from the truth, he would only deem you worthy if you are capable of being better for me than he was. He would want someone that he felt could not only treat me as well as he had but also make up for what he thought were deficiencies in our marriage.

I personally don't agree with his assessment of our marriage. Every relationship goes through ups and downs and ours was like a rollercoaster but I never viewed any moment with him as having a shortcoming. Edgar will always have a special in my heart, loving you doesn't replace or override what I felt for him, he will always have that piece of my heart. It does mean that I made a special place in my heart for you also, the piece you will always have if you want it.

There is one more piece of information you need about Edgar and then I think I have covered all of it, his death. We had met with his doctors and he was getting worse faster than expected but they said he still had at least two years left to live. He would be bedridden and pumped full of painkillers but he would be alive. He was not happy with the news, I knew he wasn't but he insisted that I still go to the children's shelter I volunteered at to get my mind off things and just get away for a while. I have never been able to find out if he bribed his new nurse or if she forgot to lock the cabinet but he injected a lethal dose of several of his drugs into his IV and killed himself. I think he bribed her because he was never to be left alone for just such a reason. When I returned home he was gone and I was heartbroken.

I love you -

Bella

I hit send before I could second guess myself, I didn't even bother to read over it. That was three days ago and I still hadn't heard from Edward, no communication at all.

I forced myself to concentrate on the announcement Richard was making concerning the new Swan facility. The Board had decided to split the contract, The Cullen Group would be doing the construction and the technology end while Garrett Phillips and Boston Medical would be handling procurement and distribution. Emmett had come to represent Cullen and Garrett was here for Boston Medical. The two of them along with Richard were answering questions while I stood with the rest of the Board behind them.

It didn't take long for the questions aimed at Emmett to start asking where Edward was and why he wasn't in Chicago. Emmett tried his best to deflect them by saying that Edward was needed in Seattle and the standard line however no one believed him. It made perfect sense why they sent Emmett, he wasn't related to Edward so it was plausible he wouldn't know the details of his absence. When it became obvious they wouldn't get anything out of Emmett they started yelling their questions at me.

"Mrs. Sinclair why isn't Edward Cullen here today?" One shouted.

"I'm afraid I don't know. I assume as Mr. McCarty stated he was needed in Seattle."

"The two of you are an item and you don't know why he stayed in Seattle?" Another reported shouted as if I was lying.

"I haven't had the opportunity to speak with Mr. Cullen since returning from New York so I'm afraid I can't answer your question."

"Why were you in New York with the Cullen's?" A woman shouted at me.

"I was there strictly for support any other information you will need to get from the Cullen's." I started to back away from the microphones.

"Did you and Edward Cullen marry in New York?" Someone yelled.

"No we did not. Thank you for coming today and this press conference is over." I was stepping down when one last question was thrown at me.

"So if you didn't marry and he isn't in Chicago is it safe to say that the two of you are no longer together?" This was the question I was trying to avoid by rushing out.

"I have never commented on my relationship with Mr. Cullen, so as I have previously stated if you want more information I suggest you ask him." That was my limit I was done answering questions but that didn't stop them from asking.

"What happened Mrs. Sinclair? Did he break up with you? Did you dump him?" Then I heard someone yell cruelly. "I thought it was love for both of you?" That was the question that would break me, because I thought it was too.

"It is love and I believe the lady told you to direct your questions at me?" I heard his smooth voice say strongly from behind the reporters.

"Edward" I whispered as he made his way through the crowd to me. When he reached me he carefully ran his knuckles across my cheek and spoke softly so only I would hear him.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get here and I understand if you still want to leave but I have a statement to make that I would like you to stay for." I nodded and he moved to the stage. "I have a rather lengthy statement to make so please bare with me." He seemed nervous as he ran his fingers through his hair. I took that as a good sign and hoped this would be the first step to repairing us.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters

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