Rating: M

Timeline: Season 3, Angel has recently returned from Hell.

Plot: Angel tells Buffy what happened to him during his time in Hell.

Buffy walked into the mansion, she had promised Angel to visit him and her mother was out of town anyway so she didn't need to come up with an excuse this time.

Angel had really progressed since he came back from hell, Buffy hoped it was because of her help.

She still felt guilty for sending her lover into a hell dimension and she seemed to be relieved he wasn't blaming her for anything. Though she would have liked it even more if he stopped blaming himself.

"Angel?" Buffy asked walking into the living room.

Angel walked out of his room, a strange look on his face. Buffy looked down and gasped when she saw blood dripping from his hand. She ran over to him, taking his hand into her own. "What happened?"

That's when she saw the scrapes and bite marks on his wrist, her eyes widened as she looked back up at him. "What did you do?" Angel pulled his hand away from her and turned around.

"It's nothing."

"Angel, why did you -?"

"I didn't expect you today," he interrupted her, keeping his bleeding hand away from her sight. "Mom left town, she is in LA for work," Buffy said, trying to understand why he would hurt himself like that.

She touched his shoulder softly, trying to comfort him. "Angel, what's wrong?"

"There's nothing!"

Buffy jumped when he yelled at her and stepped back when he turned around to face her. He saw the fear and hurt in her eyes and frowned. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay, maybe I shouldn't have come here." Buffy headed for the way out but Angel stopped her.

"Please, don't leave."

Buffy looked back at his bloody hand and nodded. "Let's get you some bandages."

"Better?" she asked sitting next to him on his couch after cleaning and bandaging his wounds. "Yes," he answered softly, obviously uncomfortable with Buffy finding him in such a vulnerable position. Buffy sighed, stroking his arm. "Can you please tell me why you did that?"

He didn't look at her but stood up, his back still facing her. "It just helps me deal. With me coming back and all."

"You never told me what happened to you in...Hell," Buffy said and felt a new wave of guilt wash over her. Angel made a a sound as if he was going to say something but didn't.

"Don't I have the right to know? I'm the one who send you there," Buffy's voice was more angry now because she was desperate to find out what he had to gone through because of her.

"You don't want to know, trust me."

Angel was scratching his bandaged hand, and Buffy jumped up slapping his fingers away. "Stop it!"

"You want to know what I went through? Do you really?"

She just nodded and kept staring at his back with her big green eyes.

"When I was there, everything I had done came back to me. The people I hurt and betrayed. Then there was only darkness, and warmth. Heat. Surrounding me.

It was dark and hot, and I felt trapped. Then they came. I don't remember their faces but they...they tortured me. For hours, never stopping. The pain.

It was almost unbearable. Sometimes I would pass out. But they have way's to bring you back.

Buffy tried to hold back the tears, she had expected this. She really had, but it was different when he told it. When he finally admitted what she had done to him.

"At night they let me sleep, at least I think it was night. There were no windows or doors. I never saw or smelled fresh air. At night they needed for me to heal, my wounds to close, so they could continue in the morning.

Not that I really minded, sleeping was worse. Much worse.

When I slept...I dreamed...Every night it was the same dream..." He paused, turning around.

"What were you dreaming about?" A tear ran down Buffy's cheek.

"You.

Our first night together. The night we made love. I was able to see you again, touch you, kiss you. I would tell you that I loved you, over and over again. Your soft moans filled my ears." A blush stained Buffy's cheeks.

"You seemed to glow. You were so beautiful." His voice suddenly faltered.

"And then...I – I bit you. I sank my teeth into your neck and fed from you."

Buffy gulped and tried to reach for him. "It's okay. Angel, it's okay."

"No!" He stumbled backwards, away from her. "You don't understand! I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. Your body, your blood...it was so good. I couldn't make myself stop... You tried to push me away, but I wouldn't let you. I wouldn't let you...

I fed from you until your heart slowed down, stopping eventually."

"You don't have to -"

"I saw the light leave your eyes and you turned cold. You...you looked so small underneath me, so fragile.

And I kept...kept thrusting into you. Even though you were... You were..."

Angel fell to his knees, burying his head in his hands. Buffy knelt down next to him, taking his head and gently placing it against her shoulder. Stroking his hair tenderly.

She realized he was crying, his hands clutching at her sides.

She was crying as well.

"I'm so sorry, Buffy. Please, forgive me. You have to forgive me. Please..."

"It's alright. I forgive you."

Depressing Chapter once again? Hope you like, and thanks for reading :)

*Also I did name this Chapter From Hell after the famous Jack The Ripper letter, I just thought the title fit. XD