Disclaimer: I do not own Alice Academy and the characters related to it. But the rest, I do.

JULY 06, 2009

Confusion and concern mix with your auburn eyes. Hotaru whispers to you and you lay down your untouched food. You approach me and you hand me the journal. I read a lot of hesitation in your eyes. I had a lot of questions as to why you have been avoiding me all the day. It is quite unusual for someone like you who's always jumpy and jittery.

You walk back to where you were originally seated. I quickly scan through the words you wrote. I felt my heartbeat stop. I look at you, seeking confirmation if what you wrote is true. You feel my gaze and momentarily look into mine, but you eventually look away. My heart starts to pound fast – faster than a runner trying to win a race or even the appearance of lightning on a stormy night. I start to feel frazzled and lost. Yes, for once in my life, I think that I'm nervous. The fact that I could feel drops of sweat sliding down my back and neck affirmed this theory of nervousness I am feeling now. I think I'm going to throw up.

Ruka disrupts my thought line and I ease up a bit. He looks worried and I really don't want to explain. How am I suppose to explain to him that the girl I think I love found out—at least thoughts on it—because of my carelessness. It agonizes me to have him interrogate me at such a crucial time. I know that I won't be able to answer properly. I don't want Ruka to see such a side of me, even if he is my best friend. Why is this happening? I thought I would get through the vacation normally like any other vacation, but there are things that unexpectedly happen even if it's the last day.

You want an explanation. You want an answer. I know. I have read all of these in the past entries you have written. I know you're dense but I also know that you have questions that demanded answers. I can't hold them back from you. I can't hide them any longer.

So here goes.

You always have been spontaneous and cheerful. You do things for no reason and you smile even when you are down. You make everyone happy and you rather be the one that is hurting than the people you love. I have always admired that about you. I have always loved those characteristics of yours. I… I have always loved you. I may have not known it myself before, but I realize that I always had. I do love you, Mikan Sakura.

Mikan, I could never call you by name and I know you've noticed this. The reason for this is because I know that when I do, it would be so full of emotion and my feelings would surface by saying those three characters that created the strangest but most beautiful name. I don't want that to happen because I know how stupid that would look. Yes, I do have a lot of pride.

I could never bring myself to tell you these things. Hotaru has been pushing me to admit because she says how obvious I am. Your best friend is too smart to begin with, but I was not stupid to let her enjoy the knowledge she had. I gave in to her little schemes sometimes, but I would make my own. I have been trying to look for the right timing, but I honestly did not know when it would be. This is really funny. Natsume Hyuuga – nervous and frazzled. And in love? I did not even think it is possible. But here I am.

This is great. Just great. I really want to remove these pages and what I have been writing down. I don't want to tell you such things through ink and paper. I want you to hear it. I want to be the one to tell you that I love you. I don't want this stupid journal to go before I do, even if I did write it. But I continue to write.

I slam the journal. I cannot take it anymore. The emotions that I have been suppressing are all rising. My heart is starting to ache. I walk up to you and tell you that I need to talk to you, desperately. I see tints of red and pink appear on your cheeks and you look at Hotaru. Hotaru smiles and tells you that you should go. You stand up and I walk ahead of you.

I slow down my pace as we walk along the shore. I notice that you would steal glances but would quickly look ahead to where we are walking. Your lack of speech makes my heartbeat sound stronger and louder.

I slowly reach out of your hand and I feel your smooth, ivory skin. I link my pinky to yours and I was surprised that you did not move away or shout at me. I watch the sea and I notice how it is calm tonight. I feel you stop in your tracks and our eyes met. The moonlight touched your face so gently and so perfectly. The light emphasized your doe eyes, your silky long hair, and your silky, soft skin. How could I have resisted such beauty and wonder this long? How could I have resisted not being with you?

I know that people can still see us so I decide to take you back inside the beach house. I lead you to the second floor and into a door. You exclaim that you did not know that such a room exists. I laugh at your discovery and I lead you to the winding staircase that led to the attic. I tell you that this was Aoi's playroom and you smile – the smile that is so angelic and the smile I can never resist. The small window allowed only rays of light from the moon to enter, which was our only source of light.

I hand you the journal, still nervous and fidgety. Did I know how you're going to react? No. I am scared to death, scared that you don't love me the way I do. I'm afraid that I'm, maybe, too late.

You release the bind that held us for a while. You slowly open your journal, when my body responds on its own. I stop you from opening the journal. I walk to you closer and I play with your brown locks that I have always adored—yes, when they are down. I held your face with my hand and I fix my gaze into your eyes. Those pink tints turn to burning red. I am amused by your reactions and how you get so embarrassed. I take the journal from your hands and I take a deep breath.

I love you. I finally told you.

You close your eyes and stood in front of me, silently, trying to keep calm and steady. You open your eyes and you hold my hand that is on your face. Your eyes are so warm and yet, so serious. You look into mine, but I could not make out what you're trying to tell me.

But I'm not in a rush. I can wait for your answer.

I would wait for you, if that's what you want me to do.

Author's Note:

I bet a lot of you thought that I was going to end this already! Of course not. I do love cliff-hangers. Although, this story is coming to an end. And I have been happy with the support and the reviews that have been given to me. Keep 'em coming!

If you have any suggestions for me, just review or PM me! It would mean so much to me.

Spread the love!

~dancedaze