Chapter 6: Ruins

The funny thing about being alone is that if you're alone long enough, you don't feel so lonely.

The next day Esca couldn't wait to get to the art supplies and give them a try. He took a shower first while Marcus still tried to wake himself up. The warm water helped clear his senses and the feel of being clean helped clear his mind.

Once he was all fresh and exciting he laid out the sketchpad and closed his eyes. His imagination flooded and he began to draw the lines he saw. He couldn't understand why Marcus thought this was difficult. All he was doing was copying what was in his mind. He only wished he could think up things like The Start of the Rain.

Marcus sleepily peeked through the door at Esca working. He obviously hadn't wanted to be caught, but Esca was always aware of his surroundings, even when he was with Marcus.

Marcus blinked and disappeared allowing Esca to go back to his work uninterrupted.

Let's talk. Harvey's text made Marcus's mood fall immediately. He felt like he was sneaking around behind Esca's back.

Two hours later there was a knock at the door. Marcus quickly answered it hoping Esca wouldn't come looking to see who it was.

"Hey Marcus," Harvey said. As Marcus shut the door behind them so they could talk in the hall rather than in the apartment.

"Hey," Marcus replied trying to sound nonchalant.

"You got a girl in there?" Harvey cracked a knowing smile. "You dog!"

"What is it?" Marcus ignored him.

"They want you for another fight. It's tonight, you got this one," Harvey playfully punched the air.

"Sorry, can't."

"Can't?"

"Yeah. I can't go to a fight tonight?"

"Why cause of some bitch?" Harvey swatted the air.

Marcus clenched his fists trying not to break Harvey's skull. No one talks about Esca that way.

"Listen, it's another five grand."

Marcus eased a little. During the night Marcus had thought about a lot of things. It had taken a long while for him to fall asleep. One of those things was Esca's future. Marcus had an interview tomorrow to become a janitor. He didn't want Esca to have the same future. Maybe he was an amazing artist. Maybe he'd want to go to college. Marcus began to fantasize about being able to pay for Esca's schooling. Maybe that would convince Esca he's worthy of his love.

Another five grand would really help. He knew Cottia would scream at him if she saw this happening, but they hadn't spoken since her little home visit. Marcus made a mental note to call her. It was unfair for him to ask her to come then yell at her for her opinion.

"Okay. When is it?" Marcus sighed.

"Great. Tonight, ten. The Warehouse."

Marcus nodded and Harvey bounded down the stairs at the prospect of the hefty commission he'd get when Marcus won. Marcus knew he'd win. That was never the question. He always won.

Marcus peeked in again a few hours later. Esca hadn't really noticed the time go by. But the drawing had really taken shaped and was turning out exactly as he imagined.

Marcus looked worried, he swallowed and Esca instantly felt nervous. In an effort to dispel the nervous tension, Esca held up the paper. "You want to see it?"

Marcus put on a very fake smile as he opened the door all the way and walked in. The fake smile faded and was replaced by sheer awe. Marcus seemed to only be able to stare at Esca's artwork in wonder. It was beautiful. Long, dirty blonde locks of hair on a strikingly beautiful woman. Marcus felt he didn't have to ask whom she was, but he figured he would to sound more interested.

"It's me mum," Esca shrugged.

"She's beautiful."

"She was," Esca nodded.

Marcus swallowed. Oh. She WAS. Marcus should've figured she was dead, but he didn't want to make assumptions before Esca opened up to him.

"Hey Esca…" Marcus swallowed. "About tonight."

"Yeah?"

"Can we postpone it to tomorrow?" Marcus flinched.

Esca looked down at the desk. "Yeah," his answer was entirely unreadable.

"I'm really sorry, you can stay here, I just have to go out for a bit."

"Okay," Esca replied, still unreadable.

"Okay cool. I'm going to head out," Marcus said without thinking. He didn't have to leave, but he couldn't stand being around Esca with him seemingly so judging. Marcus couldn't comprehend how much of the judgment was legitimate and how much he was making up in his head.

"Okay."

Marcus sighed and grabbed his gym bag as he left the apartment. He locked it behind him so Esca would be safe inside. He hoped Esca wouldn't leave. He had to pray that when he got back tonight Esca would still be there. Waiting for him.

Esca didn't fell like drawing after that. The picture of his mother was pretty much finished. He looked at it for a good long time. He hadn't really realized he was going to draw her. He'd just thought up a picture in his head, and once his hand started moving her realized it was her. Maybe this was the key to preserving those elusive memories that threatened to leave him at any moment.

None of it really seemed to matter now, because now Marcus was gone and Esca felt cold and alone. After his run in with High Roller the last time he'd left Marcus's apartment alone, Esca knew not to leave, but he didn't feel as happy and safe as he did before when he knew Marcus was in the other room.

Esca sighed and rubbed his hand on the table aimlessly. He could only hope that Marcus came home in one piece. Now alone Esca began to thing, perhaps overthink. He looked at the walls. See the prints taped to the wall, his pencils scatter about the table and his sketchpad. He'd nearly moved in. Maybe he'd overstayed his welcome. Maybe this was a sign from Marcus that Esca was supposed to get out.

Esca felt a sort of panic attack taking over as he began to juggle the options of facing the outside world and possibly High Roller again and idea of simply staying in the apartment. What if he ran into the Brit? Esca shuttered, he didn't want to be with the Brit any more. He simply just didn't want to do it anymore!

Marcus sighed as he took the final flight of steps back to his apartment. He was exhausted, though it'd been an easy fight. In the reflection of storefront windows on his walk home Marcus could see he had a split on the bridge of his nose and a pretty nasty black eye, but that was about it.

He unlocked the front door and pushed it open, praying Esca was still there.

"Hello?"

Esca didn't reply. He was standing in the living room, seemingly distraught.

"What's wrong?" Marcus walked closer to Esca, but he shied away immediately.

Esca gave him a tearful glare that was laced with distain.

"What do you want from me?" Marcus said, his voice low and his temper rising. "You want me to quit?"

Esca began to cry silently standing without answering.

"What do you want? Huh?" Marcus was beginning to yell. "Just tell me what you want!" Marcus kicked the wooden chair in his living room causing it to clatter across the floor.

Esca flinched at the outburst but stayed silent. It was as if he simply couldn't speak. It was like that night Marcus had hit that asshole in the suit and scared Esca too much to say anything.

Marcus took a deep breath saying, "the last thing I want to do is upset you. And I'm trying to figure out what the right thing to do is and I don't know what that is."

Esca still couldn't answer.

"Just…" Marcus took another deep breath. "Just please don't leave. Not yet."

"Why do you do it?" Esca managed between quiet sobs.

"Why do I do it?" Marcus laughed at the question. Why else would he do it? "I do it for you!"

"What?"

"I do it so you don't have to fucking whore yourself out every night. So you don't have to get fucked by assholes in fucking suits!"

Esca's sadness melted away, replaced by anger and rage. Marcus had crossed the line.

Marcus instantly regretted saying it, but it was already out in the open and there was no taking it back now.

"Esca…" Marcus tried. It was no use, Esca was already leaving. It seemed he didn't care about the art supplies. He was only grabbing his backpack and he was gone.

Marcus kicked the wall. "Damn it!"

Once outside Esca was scared, more scared than he'd ever been in his life. He'd grown to trust Marcus in their short amount of time together. Esca had gotten used to the safety and even had become comfortable with asking for help.

Help. Help, he needed to ask for help. With Marcus out of the picture Esca only had one person he could trust. He fished in his pocket, it had to be there. He yanked the cream colored card out of his pants and found the nearest payphone. Using some change he'd received during his last visit to the New York Minute, Esca placed a single call.

"Hello?"

"Cottia?"

"Who is this?"

"It's Esca."

"Esca! What's wrong?"

"I need your help."

"Hold on, I'll be right there. Where are you calling from?"

Esca told her the New York Minute though that wasn't entirely true. It was close enough that he'd make it there before she did, but Esca was afraid of running into High Roller, so he'd get to a vantage point where he could hide but still see when Cottia got there.

Once in his position, Esca saw some dark red mud on the ground by his shoe. In an effort to camouflage himself more, he angrily painted his face with the mud. It wouldn't actually camouflage anything, but it felt good to look like something else rather than be Esca at a time like this.

"I'm only calling you because I trust you."

"I know. I just…" Marcus sighed. "I said some things… not nice things. I was just angry."

"Let's let him cool off. He'll stay at my place tonight, maybe he'll be calmer in the morning. I'm about to go pick him up. Talk to you later."

"Bye," Marcus said as he hung up the phone. Cottia was an amazing friend. Marcus whished he could be half the person she was.

His phone began to ring again. Marcus looked at the ID. He groaned. "Hello?"

"Hey Marcus."

"Hi Harvey."

"I'm about to make you an offer you can't refuse."

"I don't want to know."

"Fifteen thousand and it's your last fight ever."

The money was incredible, but the second half was even better sounding. "What?"

"It's being billed as your last fight. Big names, lots of money. It's going to be awesome."

"When?"

"Tomorrow."

"Shit Harvey, I just fought today!"

"That's just a part of the gig."

Marcus thought for a moment.

"Come on! Tell me you're in!"

Marcus shook his head, "I'm in."

Esca was silent, Cottia didn't try to make him speak, she assumed if he had something to say, he'd say it. She just sat at the table reading over some cases while he sat in front of the TV not really watching.

Apparently her roommate had moved out last month and the new one wasn't due in for a few weeks, so there was an extra bed, which Cottia had outfitted with her second pair of sheets and a few extraneous blankets. Esca wasn't tired, but he wanted to be in the bed and away from her watchful eye, so he made a show of being tired and made his way to the bedroom.

He got under the covers with out stripping out of his clothes. He needed to be ready if he was to make a quick run for it for whatever reason.

He could hear movement on the other side of the door, as Cottia got ready for bed. She turned out the living room lights and shut her bedroom door. Esca sighed with relief. He was really glad she hadn't pried tonight. He didn't know if he could handle talking about Marcus.

Lying in bed Esca wondered about the past few days. They'd been wildly eventful. More exciting than most he could remember. So much had happened, fantastic ups and terrible downs. He kept asking himself, were the ups worth the downs. In his current position, huddle under foreign blankets with his jeans, shirt, and jacket on he'd decided they were worth it. They were worth it as long as there was another up on the horizon. As long as when the sun sets at night, it promises in a final whisper that it will be back come morning.