Sweat pooled between Jamie's brows. He looked around the church and saw hundreds of cops in their dress blues staring blankly ahead. Some even had tears in their eyes. He continued to survey the area and saw his family sitting in the next aisle over. Why wasn't he with them? he thought. And where was Eddie? Jamie attempted to move over to his family to try and find answers to his questions but he couldn't move. It was almost as if his feet were super-glued in place. All of a sudden his father walked up to the podium at the front of the church to give a speech. Still unable to have his questions answered, all Jamie could do was watch. He glanced over at his sister Erin, who had tears running down her face. He had only ever seen her cry like this on four other occasions, the death of their mom, brother, grandmother, and during her divorce from Jack. Before Jamie could mouth to Erin what was wrong she turned back to their father. Jamie did the same. For the first time, Jamie also noticed his father's eyes filled with tears. His hands were shaking, but he began his speech nonetheless.

"We are gathered here today to commemorate the loss of a fallen officer," Frank began unsteadily. "Officer….." Jamie couldn't hear the name. ".. was one of the best cops our division has ever known. She worked proudly on the field with her partners and will be missed dearly. The NYPD has been lucky to have Officer"….. It happened again. It's almost as if Jamie wasn't allowed to hear what was being spoken. As if the name was cursed…" working for it over the past 5 years, including her most recent partner Officer Matthew Lane. However," "Frank's eyes softened as a singular tear escaped from it "she was more than just a great cop to me. To me, Eddie Janko was family.

Jamie's eyes shot open as he threw the covers off of him and ran into his bathroom. His vision was hazy from tears and sweat he ran into the corner of the dresser as he went. He had completely forgotten that Eddie was in the room with him, and was startled when he heard a knock on the bathroom door moments later.

"Jamie," a soft voice said through the door. "Open the door please." No response. "Reagan…." the voice was now sharper and more demanding. Still, in a haze, Jamie opened the door to reveal his wife-to-be wearing one of his old Harvard t-shirts, with an arm up against the door frame, as if she would fall without it there. Eddie looked at Jamie and saw his bloodshot eyes and matted hair. She quickly ran into his arms and embraced him and a deep hug. "Want to talk about it?" she said into his chest. He nodded slightly and led Eddie back to the bed to talk.

Eddie took a seat criss-cross applesauce style directly across from Jamie. She took his hand from across the bed and interlocked their fingers, brushing her thumb across his. "Whenever you're ready," she said as she gave a tender smile. Jamie looked down into his lap and broke his grip on Eddie's hand.

"We can't do this Eddie," he replied softly. Her expression changed. "I want to Ed, I want to so bad I don't know how to explain it. I've wanted this for so long, but we can't do this. I can't." Eddie slid the Claddagh ring off her hand and fingered it in her palm for what seemed like an hour. As much as she knew they both wanted this she had to accept Jamie's wishes. She was just about to hand it back to him when she stopped herself.

"What did you see Jamie? After everything we've been through, what's so bad that you can't bear to be with me." Anger seeped into Eddie's voice without her intent. Jamie looked up from his lap and into her bright blue eyes that fogged over from the tears.

"You had a new partner. He couldn't protect you." More tears rolled down his face. "Two in the heart Eddie. And there was nothing anyone could do. Not you, or him, or me. But if we were partners, I would never let it get to that point because I would rather sit in a patrol car every day and watch you get married to some other dude who sure as hell doesn't deserve you than have you die on me when I'm miles from you. I love you too much to do that to you, Janko. I love you too much." Jamie got up from the bed and resumed his position in the bathroom. He sat down up against the tub and leaned his head back. He listened to the silence of his apartment for a few minutes until he heard the slight click of a doorknob followed by a door slamming shut.

5 hours later Jamie woke up to the sound of tapping on the bathroom door. He picked himself up off the floor and rubbed the back of his neck cursing himself for falling asleep after ending things like that with Eddie. Jamie knew that this way was better for the both of them. Or so he thought. Jamie opened the door of the bathroom to reveal Eddie standing behind it, smiling, with a stack of books in her hand. "What the... Didn't we just break up? I was supposed to avoid having an awkward conversation until tomorrow, not 4 hours."

"5 actually" Eddie replied. "and if this goes well there won't be any room for conversation" Eddie muttered. Jamie smiled slightly hearing her remark but reeled his emotions back in quickly. He noticed that Eddie still had the ring on her hand, and the books she was holding were the NYPD manuals.

"So, what are you doing here Janko?" Jamie asked as he brushed past her and went into the kitchen.

"Well," she said following behind him and setting the books down on the counter, "I know you don't want to be... romantically involved because you don't want me to die. And despite that fact that I can handle myself, you and your boy scout ways don't seem to think so." Eddie propped herself up on the counter. "Anyways, I knew that I couldn't sit in a patrol car with you after you half proposed to me and then took it back." Jamie looked down sheepishly at his feet as Eddie picked up the book on the top of the pile and began to flip through it frantically. Jamie looked back at her and saw her rapid motions.

"Woah, Janko," he said as he approached her. "What are you looking for?"

"This!" she exclaimed as she closed the cover of the book and threw it on the floor. Jamie was puzzled.

"You came all the way to Brooklyn to throw a book on my floor?"

"No Reagan. I came all the way to Brooklyn to tell you that there's nothing here."

"Nothing? What do you mean nothing?"

"I mean," Eddie said inching closer, "that there is nothing in that book or these that says anything about married cops working together on the job." Eddie placed her pointer and middle finger on Jamie's chest. She moved them up closer to his lips with every beat. "Ab-sol-ute-ly nothing." Jamie placed a firm grip over Eddie's fingers ceasing her motions. He looked sternly into her eyes

"Are you sure Eddie." She wiggled her fingers out from his grip and placed a hand on her hip.

"Yes Jamie, I'm 100% sure. If you want I can show you." She turned around and began to bend down to reach for the book. Jamie grabbed her wrist and spun her towards him before she could. He pulled her in close and locked eyes once more.

"I believe you" he whispered as his lips came crashing onto hers.