You were dragged away kicking and screaming. They put you in an ambulance and examined you. You almost laughed at the horrified look the doctor gave you when you told her you did that to your own hands trying to claw large rocks. You got stitches, bandages, and a cast for your sprained wrist. You had gotten a text from Jesse telling you that him and Genji were on the first flight they could catch. They had been on an easy 'find and detain' mision, but it had been aborted. Apparently. You weren't sure, everything was fuzzy and dancing round your head. No one that was found was alive, everyone else was missing. You sat down in your car and tried process anything. When you finally came back to any state of mind at all it was 4AM. You started your car and headed to the nearest fast food shop. You bought a coffee and breakfast meal, but found you couldn't eat. Thanking the staff member, you grabbed your bag and went back to the car.

"Te amo mucho."

You shook your head, drowning memories and thoughts with chugs of coffee. You heart ached, that feeling of pressure on your lungs tight and constricting. To distract yourself you decided to pull out your phone and browse the internet. You tried your hardest to avoid the news, you were certain that news reporters had already got their grubby hands on the Overwatch base. They are probably telling people we blew ourselves up. The news was always painting Overwatch as one big criminal organization.

6AM you received a call, it was Jesse. Picking up, you heard a panicking and almost-yelling Mccree.

"Darling are you alright! We just landed and me 'n' Genji saw the damn base and fuck Im panicking. Please tell me you 'aint hurt!"

"Let her talk, Jesse," you heard Genji scold somberly.

"I…." you didn't know what to say, how to put anything into words, "I'm not hurt. Where did you guys land, I'll drive over there."

"The training field, honey," He answered. You hung up and set off back towards base, admittedly driving faster than you would usually drive.

Passing where the gate used to lay, your vision went blurry. You thought you wouldn't be able to produce any more tears, but here you were. You noticed Jesse in the distance, looking at your car. Behind was a person wearing black and red, shorter than Jesse. You smiled, it was Genji. You jogged towards them, and before you could think you were sprinting. Sprinting faster than someone who didn't sleep should. Jesse and Genji became more than big spots in your view and their faces came into focus. You couldn't see much, you were crying oceans. You smiled, beaming at Jesse and Genji, who both had bewildered faces. You finally fell into Jesse's arms, dragging genji into the hug. You giggled. Your mind slipping away. You saw universes. You were floating. But then you saw Gabe, smiling painfully at you, his face twisting into pain. Ana was there wagging her finger at you with a signature smirk on her face. You looked around, confused. Behind you stood Jack, he smiled slightly and your balance gave out. You landed on the floor softer than you expected and gave a squeak of surprise on the sudden pressure at your hips. You blinked, seeing the grass again. Looking down to find it was Jesse's hands at your waist, he had caught your fall. You weren't laughing anymore, just crying. Genji was kneeling down beside you in seconds rubbing your back before getting both of you to sit down. Jesse followed, hand resting on yours. You, Jesse, Genji sat there for a while, crying and talking.

The next few weeks were a haze after that, Gabriel and Jack were pronounced dead and you, Mercy, and Winston were tasked with arranging the funerals. Mercy said she was away at the time of the explosion, Recruiting young doctors for the Swiss base. Winston flew in for watching gibraltar. Mercy was massively supportive, Winston mainly sympathetic, both were always obviously uncomfortable. You didn't care. You were too busy thinking of Gabe, thinking of what you lost, what could have been. At night you would forget yourself in the bottom of a whiskey bottle.

You tried your best to help arrange the funerals, but Mercy did most of the heavy lifting. Then day finally came. It took an excruciating amount of time, and your brain didn't soak in most of the day. You remembered everyone telling you how sorry they were. You remembered Jesse holding you whilst you cried. The last thing you remembered was heading to the bar with Genji and Jesse to toast to Gabe.

You tossed your head back, downing the last of your bottle. You sunk behind you thoughts remembering how well Gabriel's hands fit against your hips when the doorbell rang. You groaned and pushed yourself of of your stool. Putting the empty bottle back on the shelf you hoped the person at the door wouldn't notice it….. Or the other five hidden around it.

"A private bar? Seriously?" you teased and Gabriel smirked in response. You stood at the bar bench and rested down on your elbows, consciously sticking you butt up in Gabriel's face. He took a seat on the stool next to where you were standing. Gabriel gave a grab at your ass, you squealing in surprise.

"One of many advantages of fucking a commander, agent," you gave him a devilish grin.

"Well then," you said, sitting yourself down on his lap, tugging beanie off to run you hand through his hair, "I guess I ought to fuck you more often then?" he raised an eyebrow. Your lips met, rough and heated.

Ding! Alarmed you glanced around until you realized it was just the doorbell still

"Are you in? Please answer the door," Angela pleaded. She had been kind, visiting once every few days to talk with how you were coping, but mainly to scold you on how much you had just dropped life itself. You walked to the door and pressed your finger to the scanner, it recognized you and the door slid back. Angela stood there, worry painting her face.

"You scared me, f/n! You weren't answering and I know you don't go out on weekends, so I…" she didn't finish that thought. She didn't need to finish it for you to understand though. Everyone had worried you would kill yourself. Jesse would be reluctant to agree if you decided to cancel plans. Genji stopped sharpening his swords around you. Mercy had just worried for you anytime you were alone. If you were honest, you weren't living right now, you wouldn't mind if your life ended tomorrow. That didn't mean you would take it though, just you wouldn't fight it if it came for you.

"So, what have you been up to my friend?" she smiled warmly, letting herself in.

"Nothing much," you slumped down on a stool. She hummed an acknowledgement while she took of her coat and hung it up. You hoped she wouldn't notice how the T.v wasn't on, or how you only had a few lights on, or how all you plate had dust covering them and the cabinets were empty. You hoped she wouldn't see what a pitiful mess you were. Not because you cared, but because she would insist you talk to a therapist. Working towards you she frowned.

"F/n, what is this?" she went behind the bench and took hold of the empty whisky bottle. Shit. Then she looked around and dug out another. And another. And another. Until she had all 5. She put them down in front of you harshly.

"You know this isn't good for you, mentally and physically," she scolded you like a child. I know it's bad for me, I'm not stupid.

" I know Angela, I'm sorry." her gaze softened.

"Admitting it is a good step, but please will you just consider the therapist I recommend?" she took your hand in hers, "If not for yourself then for Jesse, Genji, and I?" You panicked momentarily because you really didn't want to talk about feeling with anyone, (not even mentioning someone you don't know) but you steadied yourself.

"I will, Angela. I promise." she gave you a genuine smile, a rare one that didn't have pity hidden in the subtext. She dug out her purse and handed you a business card for a therapist name 'Dr Daniel'. She checked her watch before announcing she had to leave, she was meeting torbjorn tonight for a friendly dinner. She said goodbye before closing the door behind her.

You let out a laboured breathe. Therapy. Something you never really saw yourself needing. You and Gabe had saw many atrocities, committed a few too. You had done some nasty 'good cop-bad cop' in the interrogation room with Gabriel, but you never needed therapy. You sauntered back up to the stool you were previously at, this time with the TV remote. Maybe it would make Mercy happy to know you put the TV on to make the house less lonely and she would drop the therapy. Pouring another glass you dazed back into lost times.

You were awoken from you quiet place by yet another Ding! Maybe forgot something here. Maybe she was back to drill therapy into your head and tell you off. You trudged towards the door again and opened it. To your great surprise it was someone other than Mercy, Jesse, or Genji. A tall man, business suit trousers, smart does, briefcase, but (weirdly) a misplaced black hoodie. You couldn't see his face, outside was already dark and you had little to no lights on inside.

"Miss l/n?" his voice was young, but very collected.

"Yes?"

"I have come to talk, I have a very interesting business proposal for you," he shifted, waiting for you to move out the way so he could step inside.

"Look, if this is one of those door-to-door selling thing, I'm really not interested. Sorry," you pressed the button to close the door but the man stepped forward. He stood between the door and the door frame, the sensors saw him there and the door opened again. His face came into view. He had scars littered around his skin, and a cold stare that sent shivers down you.

"It concerns your boyfriend, miss."