Adventure Time!
Come on grab your friends!
We'll go to very…distant lands!
Cake the Cat
and Fionna the Human
the fun will never end!
it's Adventure Time!
Evicted!
It was dark stormy night in Ooo. The tree fort was filled with the scent of vanilla, due to the many candles that were lit. The storm had been large enough to knock the power out of everything-even Beemo!
"And as it waded through the carnage it had wrought, the vampire SMASHED THEIR SKULLS!" Cake was concluding a scary story. She brought her hand down on a doughnut, causing the strawberry jelly inside to seep out. "Just for the fun of it!" she added. "No way!" Fionna exclaimed, pulling her sleeping bag tighter around herself. "Yes way it did!" Cake exclaimed, picking up the squished doughnut and walking over to her little sister. "And also, the vampire hunched over its victims, and breathed their vaporized blood mist!" the white cat tormented the young girl. Cake lent over and smeared the jelly on Fionna while making warbling sounds for emphases.
"Aw, geeze!" Fionna complained, wiping her face off as Cake stuffed the whole doughnut in her mouth. "Cake, is this stuff your telling me true? Or are you just trying to mess me up?" Fionna asked, narrowing her eyes at Cake. "You have to be honest," she added, pointing a finger at the cat who was now walking over to the ladder. "Oh, it's true, dude. I heard it through a reliable source!" Cake lied, picking up the plate with the jelly splashed over it.
"Reliable?" the blonde girl asked, scared. "Rats!" she exclaimed. "Yeah. Some say, the vampire haunted this very tree!" Cake whispered, dead serious, making sure Fionna was good and scared. "This tree?" Fionna shrieked.
Cake tried her best to keep a straight face as she took the small candle and descended down the ladder with a spooky, "Goodnight." "Cake!" Fionna called after her sister, who answered with moaning noises. "You're full of it, Cake!" Fionna exclaimed, trying not to let the fear sound in her voice. The blonde girl glanced around the dark room, making sure no vampires lurked in any corners. She groaned and pulled her sleeping bag up over her head.
She closed her eyes and settled into the warmth of the sleeping bag. A strange croaking noise flitted to her ears, causing her to sit up. A small green croak worm was inching its way across the foot of her bed. It turned and noticed Fionna staring at it. It immediately stopped inching and began to vibrate rather loudly.
"No worms on the bed!" Fionna exclaimed, grabbing the nearest thing (the Enchiridion!) off of the shelf next to her and chucking it at the worm. She sighed and settled back into the sleeping bag, only to be woken by a tapping sound. "Huh?" she hummed, looking at the stray branch that was tapping the window. She made a mental note to herself to cut it down the next day. Her attention was drawn the bottom corner, where another, smaller figure appeared. It reached out and tapped the window lightly.
"Wha-?" Fionna screwed her face up in concentration, trying her best to make out the figure. Lightning shot across the sky, illuminating the figure. The figure hissed at the sudden light, its face distorting into the scariest face Fionna had ever seen. The girl screeched loudly, scared out of her mind.
"Cake, Cake!" Fionna panted, climbing down the ladder. "I saw someone outside the window," she explained. "It must be the Vampire! And I think we're unprepared so I-" Cake cut Fionna off with a laugh. "Relax buddy," she laughed. "I made that story up," she admitted. Fionna's face went blank. "I was just trying to scare you," Cake explained. "You said you heard it from a reliable source!" Fionna accused. "Heh, I made that up too," Cake shrugged. "I was trying to scare you! And it worked!" Cake danced around. She laughed while Fionna glared at her, humiliated.
The window burst open. It brought in a gust of wind, extinguishing all of the candles. Cake jumped back, screaming hysterically. Fionna went over to the window and peered out. "No one's outside," she said while Cake tried to control her breathing. Fionna propped one leg on the stove so she could reach the window and close it. "It's just the wind, scaredy-cat," she smirked, leaning over her sister.
Cake glared at her sister. "I wasn't scared," she claimed, "I was singing; singing my scream-song!" she began to scream with somewhat of a rhythm, trying to convince Fionna. "You're a total wuss man," Fionna snickered.
A green bag dropped from the ceiling. Fionna screamed and shone her flashlight on it while Cake jumped behind her, her fur frizzing. Breathing heavily, the Human girl angled the flashlight up to see what had dropped the bag. Her light illuminated a guy only a few years older. He hissed playfully at the light, revealing his fangs along with the fact that he was a Vampire.
Fionna and Cake screeched and stumbled backwards onto one of the couches. "Hey guys, what's up?" the Vampire greeted coolly, floating down in between the two girls. He crossed his legs in front of him while circling his arms around Fionna and Cake's shoulders. "I'm Marshall Lee; the Vampire King," he introduced himself.
"Are you going to smash my skull…and breathe my blood mist?" Fionna asked, her whole body shaking in terror. "Please don't suck our blood!" Cake pleaded. Marshall Lee simply laughed. "Calm down weenies. I'm not gonna do that," he assured them. He snapped and all of the candles that were extinguished by the wind lit themselves again.
Fionna looked at the Vampire. "So…you don't suck blood?" she questioned. "Sometimes I suck blood," Marshall said vaguely. "But it's not the blood I like. It's the color," he shrugged. Fionna looked at him, confused. "I eat shades of red," he explained to the Human girl. He ran his hand along Fionna's chin and pulled out a strawberry. "Golly," Fionna exclaimed as the Vampire sunk one of his sharp fangs into the fruit. The color drained out of it, leaving it in a pale grey color. He sighed happily and stuffed the drained fruit into Fionna's mouth. Cake looked at the vampire uncertainly while her sister laughed and ate the strawberry.
Marshall laughed and floated over to his bag that still rested on the floor. He pulled on the sleeves of his grey flannel shirt before opening the bag. "I'm exhausted," he yawned. "I've been traveling all over the Land of Aaa," he told the girls. "And I've seen some things that would really make you say 'like what,'" he baited. Fionna took the bait and said, "Like what?"
Marshall smirked. "I found a school of goldfish beasts…"
Marshall laughed loudly as he stood on the biggest of the goldfish, yielding a whip. He cheered and slashed the whip down, urging the fish to swim faster.
"And I fooled around in the Fire Kingdom,"
Marshall laughed as he flew into the biggest volcano in the whole Fire Kingdom. He pulled a hula-hoop out and started playing with it.
"Ooh…" Fionna said in awe as the Vampire floated back over to his seat on the couch. "Oh, and check these out," Marshall said, holding out a handful of nuts. "Nuts?" Fionna asked, confused. "Oh, these aren't just ordinary nuts," Marshall informed. He squeezed his hand shut, cracking the nuts. When he opened it, five little monsters rested in his hand.
A small green one screamed, "SQUEE!" and squirted some kind of ink-like substance onto Fionna's cheek before running up Marshall's arm. The rest followed, and they ran across the Vampire's shoulders and down his other arm. "Haha, you're wonderful," Fionna complemented, rubbing the ink off of her face. "Yeah, uh… Thank you for not sucking our blood," Cake added awkwardly.
"You guys seem cool too," Marshall smiled at the girls before yawning. "As you can probably imagine, I'm really tired," he said sleepily, wrapping his arms around the girls. "You two should probably get going," he added, squeezing them lightly.
A confused frown took the place of Fionna's smile. "What?" she challenged. Marshall Lee sighed and said, "Look." He flicked his wrist and an unfinished work of embroidery magically moved to the side, revealing an ML carved into the tree. "ML, for Marshall Lee," he said exasperatedly. "Awh man," Cake groaned.
"I carved it into this tree years ago," Marshall told them. "Long before you two rascals started squatting here," he added, ruffling Cake's fur and pulling lightly on the strands of hair that cascaded out of Fionna's hat. He wrapped his arms around the two girls and floated them out into the rain.
"But seriously, guys," he said, placing them down on the wet ground. "Thanks for keeping the place warm for me, I mean it's really great," he said. He ruffled Cake's fur again and patted the ears on Fionna's hat before flying up again, out of the rain. "Huh?" Fionna asked, not sure of what was happening as Marshall called, "Goodnight!" and shut the window.
"Come on, Fi," Cake shivered, hating the rain, "Let's get outta here." "He can't kick us out of our house!" Fionna exclaimed. "No, Fi. Wait!" Cake tried to stop her sister as she pounded on the door, exclaiming, "GET DOWN HERE, GUY! AND FIGHT ME!"
Cake pulled her sister from the door. "He's a Vampire, dude!" Cake exclaimed as Fionna tried to rub some warmth into her arms through her soaked-through pajamas. A pillow, Fionna's adventure pack, and Cake's violin fell to the ground by the girls' feet. They looked up to see Marshall, laughing. He sucked the jelly out of a doughnut and flicked it out the window, where it landed on Fionna's face.
Fionna growled. "I'm gonna kill him!" she swore. "Dude, if half the stories I've heard- and or made up- are true, a Vampire will kill you! No question!" Cake exclaimed. They glanced at the window in time to see Marshall hiss at them. His eyes turned a scary, glowing red color, his face drawn together in a terrifying display. His face returned to normal and he laughed, gliding away from the window. "But what about our home?" Fionna exclaimed, outraged. "A Vampire took it!" Cake hissed, extending her legs so she could stand face-to-face with her sister. "D'aww, we should go house-hunting!" she suggested, wrapping an arm around Fionna, "Bag us a new house?" "But I like our home," Fionna grumbled.
Cake stretched into a large white and mocha canopy over Fionna's head. "Fi, house-hunting is wild!" Cake exclaimed. "You've gotta try it!" she pressed. "Really?" Fionna asked skeptically, glad that the rain had finally was finally off of her. "Yeah man," Cake assured her, "It is so nuts!" "You always know what to say," Fionna sighed. "Blableeblablabloobloo!" Cake answered. "Okay, I'm convinced," Fionna laughed. She danced around for a second before gathering the stuff Marshall had thrown out and saying, "Let's roll."
"Sweet! Things are gonna start going our way," Cake promised. The rain slowed to a stop and the clouds cleared, revealing a brand new day with a blue sky and fluffy white clouds. "Hey look!" Cake pointed out. "See? What'd I tell ya?"
So Fionna and Cake
Set out to find a new home!
It's gonna be tough,
For a kid and a cat on their own
Fionna pointed to a house and Cake nodded eagerly. The two girls ran up to the front door of the small yellow cottage and knocked lightly. A Giant opened the door, shocking Fionna. It grumbled something about not wanting whatever they were selling before reaching a huge hand out and swatting them away.
There's a little house,
Awh Fi's sticking her foot in!
That's a bad idea girl,
'Cause now that bird thinks you're a jerk, Fi!
Fionna and Cake rested under a tree. They looked up and noticed a small birdhouse. Fionna looked at Cake who nodded. The two climbed up the branches of the tree and examined the small house. Fionna looked up, searching for another branch to get her higher. She found one and grabbed onto it, swinging her legs up to it. On the way, one of her feet got caught in the house, and a small white bird came out, furious. It started whistling in a high-pitched tune and throwing handfuls of worms at Fionna and Cake before they dropped out of the tree.
And they were chilling' on the side of a hill
Thinking'
"Living in a cloud'd be totally thrilling"
Unless they find, something inside
Like a mean cloud man and his beautiful cloud bride
Fionna and Cake laid on a large hill, watching the clouds. A house-shaped cloud floated over the girls and Cake pointed on it. Fionna nodded, and Cake smiled. The two girls stretched to the cloud, their heads getting damp when they broke through. They looked around to see an angry-looking cloud person, tossing books at their heads.
A Beehive oh no!
Don't stick your foot in there, gal!
Y'all tried that before and you know it didn't turn out right!
Cake stuck her foot in a beehive for no apparent reason at all. Fionna shot her a look before kicking her sister's foot away with her own. She accidently knocked into the hive, though, and a large, angry looking bee came out. It started buzzing madly and throwing up honey all over the girls.
Big shell, go inside
Look around, it seems alright
Then a frog jumps out, barfs a tiger
Who throws down potion for food and fire
Fionna spotted a large, pale pink shell. They climbed inside and it looked…okay. Fionna glanced uncertainly at Cake, who shrugged.
A large, green frog jumped out, scaring the two girls. They jumped back and left the shell before they could see the medium-sized tiger jump out and cast spells, filling the shell with fruits and light.
You know you should've stayed
And fought that sexy Vampire guy
But Cake was feeling terrified
She was super scared of his Vampire bite
Which is understandable
'cause Vampires are really powerful,
Fionna and Cake looked up to see a large rock. They quickly began tying sticks and twigs together and setting them against the rock, forming a small shelter. After they put the sticks together, they sat back against the rock, only to have it get up and start dancing. Turns out it wasn't actually a rock, but a Rock Duck.
They're unreasonable
And burnt out on dealing with mortals
Fionna let her legs dangle in the cool stream Cake was pushing her down. Her surprisingly absorbent pillow kept her dry while she used her hand to shield her eyes and searched around for a new home.
Oh Marshall Lee
Why are you so mean?
The two girls sighed as they walked around in the empty, dying parts of the grasslands. There wasn't a house- or anything for that matter- for miles.
I'm not mean I'm a thousand years old
And I just lost track of my moral code
Oh Marshall Lee,
Can't you see these girls are in pain?
No I can't,
I'm invested in this very cool video game
The two girls shivered as they walked across the border separating the Grasslands from the Ice Kingdom. Ice Queen spotted them and growled angrily at seeing the two girls on her land. She began throwing large, frozen lightning bolts at Fionna and Cake, who dodged them easily.
So there go our girls
Walking on the icy ground
Heading toward their destiny,
I'm sure they'll figure something out
The two girls skidded to a halt as they reached Ice Burg Lake. They were on a piece of ice that was less sturdy than the others. It gave way easily when Ice Queen fired a shot into it, sending the two girls floating on a chunk of ice.
"This is weak!" Fionna complained, throwing her pillow down and sitting on it. "I don't even like any of these places!" she exclaimed, drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them angrily. "I wanna go home," she said, softer than before. She rested her chin on her knees and Cake looked sympathetically at her.
Cake sat on the ice next to her sister and said, "Fi, let me tell you a little something about what home really means." The cat extended her ear and wrapped it around her little sister. She played a few notes on her violin, singing, "lalala…."
"Home isn't a place,
Let me give you a clue
Home is anywhere
People care about you!"
"I don't wanna hear a lecture dude!" Fionna said angrily. "I just wanna go home," she pouted.
"But home is where your heart is Fi,
And where is your heart Fi?
When it's right there inside you
And I'm sitting right here beside you!"
Cake sang dramatically. She used the bow of her violin to poke Fionna's chest, right where her heart was. Fionna looked at her sister like she was crazy.
"With your lucky stars to guide you from above," Cake said. Fionna looked up at the deep blue night sky. Two planets sat very close together. A small farting sound could be heard, and a star shot out from between the two planets, causing Fionna to laugh.
"Yeah, I guess I'd rather be out here, wrapped in your ear, then in some awesome house, all by my…souce…" she rhymed, finishing Cake's song.
"I'd rather be dancin' with some babes!" Cake exclaimed as the ice burg floated into a cave. "Ha, Shut up, dude!" Fionna laughed.
"Gross," Cake complained. "This place looks gross," she said, looking around the cave. "And abandoned," Fionna added, her last word echoing loudly. The vibrations of her words caused a whole swarm of alien bats to wake from their rest and fly out of the cave. Fionna screeched loudly as the alien bat's claws scraped her and got caught in her hair.
Once the bats were gone, Fionna and Cake looked around and gasped. "Whoa bro!" Fionna said dramatically, taking in the beauty of the now clean and sparkling cave. "Wanna just live in here?" she shrugged at Cake who immediately answered, "Yes!"
So they cleaned up the cave
And built a house inside the cave
Fionna crossed her legs and leaned against Cake. She sighed happily, taking in their work. After three hours, the cave started looking and feeling more like home. The girls had strung round red and white paper lamps across the top of the small cavern. They had constructed a small teepee made of sticks and animal skins, and created a small fire pit. The cave started looking more inviting and homely by the second.
"So what do you think?" Cake asked, feeling proud, "We did pretty good for ourselves." "Yeah, we did," Fionna agreed. "So… what should we do first in our new digs?" she asked. Cake's eyes shone brightly and she exclaimed, "Let's trash it and throw a party!"
…
The cave was filled with laughter and music. Fionna danced around while Cake sat on a rock, playing her violin. "This is it," Fionna sighed happily, dancing. "I'm feeling good…felling," she paused to sigh again. "I'm feeling like… we did it. Like…Heh…completely satisfied," she smiled, closing her eyes but still dancing. "Nothing else could go wrong," she mused. "Right Cake?"
"Yeah man," Cake answered. She was glad to see her sister happy after all the stress they went through. "Awh yeah, I know too," she smiled. The door made of miscellaneous animal skins behind her slammed open and Marshall Lee strolled in dancing. "Hey Fi," he hissed. He smirked in satisfaction as Fionna recoiled and Cake gasped, "He's back!"
"Wow, pretty awesome party you got going on here," he smiled, dancing. "Whaddya want Marshall Lee?" Fionna demanded. "Oh, I just wanted to show yah something," he danced back into one of the corners of the cave. "This cave belongs to me!" he said triumphantly, using his magic to levitate a boulder, revealing the letters ML carved into the stone. He drew his arms down in an "I just owned you," way, smirking. "What?" Fionna screeched.
Marshall looked around the homey cave and smiled. "Thanks for fixing the place up for me," he sighed. "Y-You can't take our home twice!" Fionna screeched, outraged. "Yes I can!" Marshall sang, plugging his bass into an amp and playing a chord.
Angry tears filled the young adventuress' eyes, but she quickly blinked them away. "IT'S VAMPIRE FIGHTING TIME!" she declared, raising her fists. Cake wrapped her arms around the girl, restraining her. "Fi, no! Vampires will kill you, remember!" the cat said, desperately trying to keep her sister safe. "But, he's taking our home again!" Fionna raged. "We're home as long as we're together! Blablableeblabloo, remember?" Cake exclaimed.
Fionna took a calming breath and said, "Oh yeah." The blonde girl approached the Vampire, who was now tuning his bass. "Okay Marshall Lee, I'm gonna let you keep this cave," she told him. "But only because Cake's my home; and she's way better then all your homes combined!" Cake smiled at her sister's directedness. "You know, you're right," Marshall sighed. "I guess I'll take her too," he smirked, picking up Cake. "Uh…" she complained, scared and tried to wiggle out of his grasp. Fionna's mouth dropped open in terror. "WHAT?"
"I'll bite 'er a little," Marshall threatened, drawing Cake ever closer. "Maybe turn her into a zombie?" he suggested. "No!" Cake screeched. "Let go of Cake!" Fionna demanded as Cake covered her eyes in fear. "Make…me…" Marshall challenged, narrowing his eyes. Fionna angrily slapped Cake out of the Vampire's hands. "You okay sis?" she asked, hugging Cake.
Marshall hissed loudly. "No one…makes me…let go… of Cake!" he growled, transforming into a giant bat. "I'm not scared of you!" Fionna exclaimed angrily as Cake coward in fear. Fionna jumped up, in position for a kick attack, but Marshall was much bigger, and snatched her up in his clawed fingers. "You're pathetic little girl," he hissed, laughing evilly as he flung her into a pile of stalagmites.
She landed on one and it broke under her. "You're pathetic!" she taunted. She made a strange noise in the back of her throat and spit at Marshall. He hissed as it splashed on his face. "Get ready for an uppercut, you dog!" Fionna screeched, drawing her fist back. "Make me," Marshall laughed, stepping back. He smacked the girl's butt as she fell, causing a light blush to spread across her cheeks.
She landed on her feet on the ground. Marshall picked her up by the top of her head and slammed her into the stone floor. "Bleh!" he hissed, towering over the girl.
Cake, who was hiding behind a stalagmite, shook in fear as she watched the Vampire close in on her little sister. "I-I gotta help my buddy," she said. She swallowed bravely and steeled herself for what she was about to do.
"Your blood is mine!" Marshall exclaimed, leaning over Fionna. He stopped only when he heard Cake screaming "." He turned to see the cat flying at him, her arms and legs stretched out and flailing wildly. She wrapped her arms and legs around his face in attempt to distract him from Fionna. Marshall growled angrily and pulled the cat off of his face. Cake grew large, probably in an attempt to escape the Vampire's clutches, just as Marshall sunk his fangs into her.
"Oh no," she groaned. The color drained from her and Marshall flung her away. She landed in an unmoving heap on the ground. White hot anger filled Fionna's young body, and she charged at Marshall with all of her might. She jumped up, and like before, Marshall caught her in his hands. This time, though, the heroine drew her arm out from in between his furry fingers. She balled her hand into a fist and drew it back as far as she could with her limited freedom. Her hand connected with the side of his face and it started swelling almost immediately.
"Ow!" Marshall complained. "That actually hurt, Fi," he said with a smile. He laughed loudly and started shrinking down to his normal form, pinning Fionna to the ground in the process. She closed her eyes, expecting him to sink his fangs into her neck and kill her. She was not, however, expecting a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Why didn't you just kill me?" Fionna asked, her cheeks flushing. "'Cause that was fun!" Marshall answered as if it were the most obvious thing ever. "Whoo, I haven't fought like that in years," he smiled. "Thanks, Fi," he smiled, starting to retune his bass.
"Fi!" Cake exclaimed, running over to her sister. "Aren't you dead?" Fionna asked, shocked. "Nah," Cake waved it off. "Before he bit me I used my powers to shrink all of my guts and blood into my thumb, see?" she held up her left hand and her lower half shriveled up and turned grey as her thumb grew.
Marshall cleared his throat, demanding Fionna and Cake's attention. "You gals are pretty hardcore, I can respect that," he said, smiling.
"So-so does that mean we can have our house back?" Fionna asked, hugging Cake tightly against herself. "Sure," he nodded. "As a gift from me," he hissed playfully, his hair flailing mincingly. He growled at the two girls, and they ran away from the cave gratefully.
…
The two girls ran up to the back entrance of their tree fort. They were laughing and giggling, glad to be home. "Yeah!" they exclaimed together as they burst through the back door. "Huh?" Fionna hummed on seeing many small croak worms inching around on everything. They all stopped and started vibrating loudly as they saw the two girls.
"Did you guys get on the bed?" Fionna demanded. "I told you you're not allowed!" she exclaimed. A large Croak Worm, much larger than even Fionna who was tall for her age, slithered down from the bedroom. "Oh, hey guys," it greeted. "Come here friends, hug me," it said in a smooth voice. The two girls just stared at it in silence.
The Worm Queen shot some sort of green, hypnotizing beam at the girls, causing them to go over and hug her. "Oh yes, hug me," it grinned and began to vibrate just like the rest.
~Linebreak~
A/N: Going out of order here, guys. I found out I do better if I watch the episode while writing these instead of just reading the transcripts. I am now taking requests from any season. Just review or PM me telling me which episode you want done and I'll get to working on it.
Until next time
Adventure 'til yah drop!
~Myfatherwillhearabouthis