Authors note: EARLY UPDATE! SURPRISE! Haha decided to update early cuz I'm cool like dat ;) haha jk, I might not update in a while… I need to… straighten things out… Simon will be VERY OOC, just a warning…
Disclaimer: I don't own DP or the song
Chloe POV
It's been almost a whole month and Derek still wasn't back yet, Simon left me, and Tori turned into a bitch again. I couldn't believe how Simon broke up with me!
~~Flashback~~
"Hey Chloe, could I talk to you for a minute?"
I fake smiled, "Sure Simon."
We walked out to the library, I remembered Derek and the razor blade and sighed, I miss him so bad.
"Chloe, I'm leaving you." He said in a bored tone. "Before you ask why, it's because Kim is so much hotter than you and I don't like you anymore, you're like a little kid and she's just so much more mature, she's skinnier and has more to offer than you. So, we're through." With that he brushed past me and walked out of the library, I broke down and cried again, I couldn't believe it! I already lost Derek, now Simon? Everything is so wrong…
~~Flashback over~~
Remembering that made me feel sick, if he wanted a skinny girl I could do that…
I'm so tired of being here, suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave, I wish that you would just leave
Your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone
I went to the bathroom and shut the door, I made sure it was locked before I went and looked at myself in the mirror. What I saw disgusted me, I was so freaking fat! I could see why Simon left me…
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I knelt down over the toilet and stuck my fingers down my throat, I gagged but kept going, soon enough I threw up my lunch and was crying, I really hated my life. Once I made sure all the food was out I sat on the floor and took off my necklace, I placed the razor to my skin and made three deep cuts along my wrist.
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I looked back to the mirror, I hated the girl I saw, I fixed my hair and clothes but I just got angry, with an angry scream I smashed the mirror with my fists I felt blood running down my arms but I didn't care, I grabbed a towel and dried my tears and wiped my arms off.
You used to captivate me by your resonating light
Now, I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me
I left the bathroom and went back to my room; I sat on the floor and tried so hard to breath. I can't take this anymore!
These wounds won't seem to heal, this pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
I missed Derek, I really did. I stood up and made my way downstairs, I passed the living room and noticed Kim was there, she sneered at me and scooted closer to Simon, I flipped her the bird and kept walking. She stole Simon away from me. But I'm starting to be ok with that, she's still a bitch but I think I didn't really love Simon.
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me
I made my way outside and into the forest, I didn't care if the Edison Group caught me, I didn't care about my life at all anymore…
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along
I fell to my knees, "DEREK WHY?" I screamed. I fisted my hair and kept screaming and crying
When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all of me, me, me
Andrew found me later that night, I was a wreck but didn't care I just wanted Derek back. He picked me up and carried me back to the house, I clutched onto his sweatshirt soaking it with my tears and whispered out in to the cold darkness, "I love him…"
Hope you liked it, I don't support purging or cutting but sometimes you feel like it's your only escape, I would know the feeling… anyway I really feel like screaming and breaking stuff, maybe smashing a certain whore's face in… (And it's not Kim ;P)