Sorry it's taking me so long to update. Lots of things on my mind at present. But don't fear, I'm not abandoning this story.
Chapter 12
In a hidden part of his brain, there was something that said to him, why not? Why not stay with Julia in paradise and practice medicine. It would be easy work and he'd be happy.
But the other, more rational part of his brain, knew that was not to be. He was not destined to be happy like that, nor did he deserve it.
However, Julia didn't realize that.
"I just don't understand why you would want to just waste your time when you could be doing something good that would actually help people."
"What makes you think I want to help people?"
"Well, you're a doctor."
"So you think that means that I want to help people?"
"Doesn't it?"
"Not in my case."
"But why would you—"
"Julia, you don't know me that well and you don't understand me, even though you think you do. But I know you. Your problem is that you're trying to save the world."
"No, I'm not."
"You are. And when you can't, you get depressed and try even harder."
"That's not true!"
"It is. But it doesn't work. No one can save the world. You can't even save the world around you. You couldn't save Mrs. Lassiter, you couldn't save your family, you can't save all the other people on this island, and you can't save me."
"Who said I want to save you?"
"You've been trying since the beginning. That's the only reason you talked to me. Maybe the reason you slept with me."
Her eyes flashed at him. "Go to hell."
"Been there. In fact, I'm a regular visitor."
"Then go on back and leave me alone. If I can't save you, then fine, don't be saved. Go on and be a miserable jerk that tries to kill people."
"I didn't…"
"You didn't know! You could have. And that is unforgivable."
He stared at her silently for a few moments. "You're right. I am a miserable jerk who can't be saved or be forgiven. Hell is where I belong, not paradise."
He turned and walked away from her, going into his cabin. She wiped the tear that insisted on running down her cheek and went back into her own cabin.
She couldn't sleep that night. She cried most of the night and wished she had Greg there to hold her, but it would be wrong to go to him now. In the morning, she'd apologize for what she'd said. He wouldn't, but she'd know what he was feeling by the look in his eyes. It would be okay.
In the morning, she rose at her normal time, made the coffee and then went off to do her daily duties. When she returned two hours later, she was surprised that House wasn't sitting in the chair drinking his coffee.
She went inside her cabin and saw that his cup was still sitting on the counter beside the coffee maker. Wasn't he up yet?
She crossed to his cabin and knocked on the door, but no one answered. She cautiously opened the door and stepped inside. It was eerily quiet. She glanced around the front room, then moved to the bedroom. The door was open and she saw the room was empty. He was already up and about? Very unusual. She started making the bed and as she did, she started to notice that none of his things were thrown around as they usually were. She went to the bathroom and saw that none of his toiletries were there.
She ran outside and to the back of the cabin. The golf cart wasn't there. She quickly jumped on her bicycle and rode to Tom's. The golf cart was parked there. She started to breathe again. He was inside, it was alright.
Inside, Tom was sitting at a table drinking some coffee.
"Where's Greg?" she asked a little breathlessly.
He stared at her for a few moments, then said, "Gone.'
"Gone? What do you mean gone? Where did he go?"
"Back to New Jersey. He took the nine a.m. ferry. Stopped to leave me the golf cart and say goodbye."
"But…but…he can't go back! They'll put him in jail!" Then as something else occurred to her, she said, "He said goodbye to you? He didn't say goodbye to me!"
"He said he didn't think you'd want him to talk to you. He told me to tell you goodbye."
"No." she whispered. "No." Then as it hit her that he was gone, she said, "Well, fine then. If he wants to go back there and go to jail, fine."
Tom watched her, taking note of the emotions that were passing over her face. "You're in love with him."
"What? You're crazy! Just because we had sex a few times, does not mean…" She trailed off as she saw Tom smiling at her. "So, what difference does it make? He's gone now, isn't he? And he won't be back."
And damn if one of those stupid tears didn't run down her face again.
"You could go to him."
"Where? To New Jersey? Why would I want to do that?"
"Because if he's in trouble, he could probably use a friend."
"If he'd wanted me there, he would have said goodbye to me himself. No, I'm staying right here, thank you very much."
It took her a few days of being miserable. Her sadness never really left her, but when House was there, she began to feel a little happier and a lot more hopeful. She didn't like the return to the hopeless feeling again.
She went to see Tom and said, "How hard would it be for me to go to Princeton?"
"Shouldn't be too hard. You still have your passport, right? Is it out of date?"
"No, it's still valid, though just."
"Then go. You've got the money now."
"Right. But if he turned himself in, he might be in jail already. How do I find out where he is?"
"Ask Wayne. He still has connections."
She asked Wayne and as Tom had said, he had connections in the justice department in New York and they were able to connect with the same department in New Jersey. He told her where House was being held and the name of the prosecutor in charge of the case.
She made a reservation on the next flight to the States and within two days, she was stepping off a plane in Newark, NJ, her feet touching U.S. soil for the first time in over three years.