Promises: Side Story C

Disclaimer: Dragon Age and all assorted characters/places/etc belong to Bioware, not me.

Author's note: This is the third alternate POV that delves into why Hawke was a little out of sorts after speaking to Fenris on the deck at night.

There wasn't much room for privacy on board a ship, Hawke reflected mournfully as she lay in her bed. That hadn't bothered her at first because she got to share a room with Fenris but right now she could use a bit of space while she fought back the tears.

Mageling, he had called her. Even now, the term burned. It really hit home just how Fenris saw her—not as a women, but as a girl, a mere child. During their time with Zevran, she had come to believe that Fenris was attracted to her despite her being a mage. However, their time with Isabela crushed that notion.

It hurt to remember how Fenris blushed in response to Isabela's non-stop flirting. And knowing that Fenris' type was the busty, glamorous sort like the lady raider rather than her own rather homespun self…well she couldn't think about that. Because then she'd cry and that would wake up Fenris and he would try to comfort her and she just couldn't deal with that right now.

Hawke turned to her side so that she faced the wall and took one deep breath after another, counting them in an attempt to soothe her aching heart. There wasn't much she could do if Fenris didn't fancy her. The only magic she knew of that could change another person's feelings was blood magic, and she would never resort to that. The mere thought of using such an ugly thing on her favorite elf…she simply would never do it and she'd kill anyone who dared try.

She checked a sigh. Maker, she was pathetic, pining for a man who didn't even think of her as a woman. Surely it would be better to move on. As her mother would be quick to point out, there were other fishes in the sea. If she was that desperate, she might even be able to find someone on board the ship willing to put up her peculiarities.

The only problem with that notion was that the only man she wanted was Fenris.

Hawke turned over again and stared at the ceiling. She wasn't the sort to give up easily and now wasn't the time to start. Hawke cupped her breasts, frowning as she mentally compared them to those of the lady pirate. No, they couldn't even begin to compare in size but there was more than one way to attract a man. Her mother had often said things like that, but Hawke had always tuned her out. She hadn't seen the point; she was an apostate. Love simply wasn't meant for her. Now that she had been bitten by it, however, she desperately wished that she had paid more attention to her mother's advice.

But the point remained—she couldn't give up on Fenris just yet. They wouldn't be on this blasted ship forever, and maybe once they were away from the temptations Isabela offered Hawke would have more of a chance. She would have to make Fenris see her as a woman first though, and she feared that would be quite a challenge.

It wouldn't be an insurmountable task though. First things first, she would need new clothes. Her robes were lovely and fit her well—something for which she had Zevran to thank—but obviously they were not doing the trick. Maybe something shorter to show off her legs, maybe something cinched to emphasize her small waist, or maybe something tighter to make her breasts look bigger than they were. She would have to suss out what got Fenris' attention the most, but hopefully there would be something about her figure that he would find compelling.

And if she couldn't turn his eyes towards her…no, that thought wasn't worth thinking. She simply wouldn't contemplate failure, not when she hadn't even really begun to fight for her elf. She was a Hawke, and the first thing that her father had taught her was that Hawkes didn't give up. No, it was time for her to take control of her fate rather than just being buffeted around by it. It was time for her to win Fenris' heart. For the Maker knew that he had taken hers long ago.