Promises: Chapter Twenty-Eight
Disclaimer: Dragon Age and all assorted characters/places/etc belong to Bioware, not me.
Author's note: My thanks to everyone who reviewed the last couple of chapters. I'm a little behind on replies, but I'm going to try to catch up some time this weekend. I've noticed that there seems to be a theme amongst the reviews-something about a kiss? Would a certain elf going sans shirt do for now? ;)
The pair found a pleasant inn near the market district of Wycombe. Taking a page from Zevran's book, Hawke was able to negotiate a sweet deal for a suite of rooms. There were only two rooms in this particular suite—one bedroom along with a sitting room—but the suite was the only one available that had its own private bath and that more than made up for Fenris having to share a bedroom with his mageling again.
It wasn't as though he had any real problem with that. He told himself sharing a room with Hawke was for the best so he could keep an eye on his mageling. However, Fenris knew in his heart of hearts that it was dangerous for him and Hawke to continue sleeping near each other. The latest gown his mageling had taken to wearing to bed was nearly sheer, and it took all of Fenris' willpower not to stare when Hawke pranced around in it. There were times when he couldn't help but wonder if his mageling was deliberately baiting him. If she was then…but no, he knew better than that. That night in Isabela's cabin proved that Hawke was truly innocent about such things.
After they had made arrangements at the inn, Hawke insisted on heading out to the market for a bit. The mageling quickly made a beeline for a bookstore and purchased a couple of books for reading. Fenris hung back nervously, not wanting to betray the fact that he couldn't read to Hawke. Thankfully Hawke seemed a bit secretive about her purchases and so didn't ask for his opinion. The only thing Hawke openly bought was a deck of cards so the two of them would also have the option to play together at night.
Fenris and Hawke ate their dinner at a small shop in the market, rather than going back to the inn. The elf was grateful for finally having a proper meal—something with real meat rather than a dried substitute—and he wound up eating more than he should. As a result, he more or less passed out early in the evening, falling asleep while Hawke stayed up late, reading one of her new books. The last thing he saw before he closed his eyes was his mageling glancing over at him with a fond smile on her face.
His overly full stomach led to Fenris waking up late in the day, which for him was mid-morning. He woke with a start. There was a sinking feeling in his gut that there was something wrong. The elf irritably rubbed the sleep from his eyes, upset that he had lingered in bed for so long. He didn't need to look outdoors to see how late it was. On the tip of his tongue sat a rebuke for Hawke for not waking him up when he realized just what was wrong with the room.
Hawke wasn't in their bedroom.
Fenris cursed vehemently as he pushed the light cover aside. Don't panic, he told himself. The mageling is most certainly in the sitting room. He knew his fear was unreasonable, but he couldn't quite control it. Though the bedroom wasn't that large, it still felt like it took forever for him to cross the room and open the door into the sitting room.
Hawke wasn't there either.
Now panic was truly beginning to set in. Without breaking stride or pausing to reach for his sword, Fenris strode through the sitting room and out the door, intent on seeing if Hawke had perhaps went downstairs for a bit of nourishment without him. That was entirely possible for the mageling might have thought that Fenris would not be hungry for breakfast because of the large meal he had had for dinner. The elf exited the suite at full speed, needing to see Hawke, to confirm that she hadn't left him, when a pair of shrieks stopped him dead in his tracks.
Fenris glanced over to see a couple of maids staring at him with their mouths hanging wide open. Their eyes seemed to be lingering on his chest. He looked down and cursed once more. He had forgotten that he had taken off his shirt before he had fallen asleep last night because he had eaten so much that his normally well-fitting tunic rubbed uncomfortably against his stomach. Though the delay was unwelcome, he couldn't very well go parading about the inn with a bare chest. The horrified looks he received from the maids as they saw his lyrium scarred chest was bad enough; he didn't want to leave a trail of such people in his wake. Fenris went back into the suite to put on a tunic. This time he also took his sword before leaving, reasoning that he might need it if his mageling had found a way to get into trouble.
Now properly attired and armed, Fenris was out the door once more and headed straight towards the inn's dining room. There were only a few people there. Fenris scanned their faces, hoping against hope that his mageling would be one of them but it was to no avail. His mageling wasn't there.
His heart dropped. He couldn't believe this was happening. While he had feared that one day Hawke might see him for the bitter, mad elf that he was and seek to leave him behind, he never thought that the day would come so soon. He didn't know what to do. Obviously he needed to find Hawke before she got too far away, but he didn't know where to start looking.
Fenris racked his brain as he went over the conversations he had with Hawke. She had mentioned something about heading towards Kirkwall in the long run if she never ran across anyone with news of her family. Then he recalled how she wanted to linger at the docks the day before, to ask questions of the ships flying Fereldan colors. His path decided, Fenris hurried out of the inn. He couldn't count on luck alone; speed was of the essence if he was to find Hawke before it was too late. Fenris quickened his step and was almost out the door when it swung open and in walked in no other than Hawke herself.
"Fenris!" she exclaimed, her face lighting up when she saw him. "You're up!" Leave it to his mageling to have such a firm grasp on the obvious. She cheerfully bounced over to him. She gave him the once over. "And you look none the worse for wear. You had quite the stomach ache last night."
Fenris couldn't quite believe his ears. Here he was, in a blind panic over having lost Hawke, only to have his mageling show up and act as though nothing was out of the ordinary. Suddenly he was furious with her. "Where have you been?" he snapped at her.
"At the market," was her reply. "I wanted to do a bit of shopping."
"And you didn't see fit to wake me?" he ground out.
She shook her head slowly. "Well no. I knew you were feeling poorly the night before, and besides I figured that shopping is getting boring for you and so—"
"Festis bei umo canavarum," Fenris muttered under his breath. His mageling gave him a questioning look, and he shook his head. "You should have woke me," he told her sternly. "When I woke up and you weren't there…." He trailed off, not wanting to reveal just how worried he had been.
"Oh! You mean you didn't see my note? I left it on the table by your bed," Hawke said. She stepped closer to him, reaching out a hand to brush lightly against his fringe. "I'm sorry, Fenris, truly I am. I never meant to worry you."
He ducked his head. He didn't want to meet his mageling's gaze for more reasons than one. "So what was so important that you simply had to go shopping first thing in the morning?" he asked, hoping to change the direction of the conversation—or at least his thoughts.
"I wanted something new to wear," was her prompt response.
Fenris was taken aback. That was not the answer he had expected. Then he stopped and actually looked at what his mageling was wearing—a skirt that stopped just above her knees, displaying a tempting amount of leg along with a pair of half-boots and a cinched shirt that somehow managed to show off both Hawke's breasts as well as her waist—and cursed aloud for what seemed to be the tenth time that morning.
"So do you like it?" Hawke asked, twirling around before him.
Fenris bit his tongue. He was torn really when it came to what he wanted to do. Part of him wanted to drag Hawke back to their room in order to keep her safe from prying eyes while another part of him wanted to trace her path back so he could eliminate anyone who might have seen her and gotten ideas. However, his mageling was waiting for him to say something and so he said, "It's not a robe."
"Oh, good eye there. I'd have to get up very early in the morning to pull one over you." His mageling stopped teasing him when he growled. "No, it's not a set of robes. One of the more sensible things Isabela said was that a change of clothing would be useful when it comes to passing by unnoticed. It's also been getting warmer and so I thought I ought to get something that was cooler to wear. I tried last time, you know, but Isabela was of little help. Not that you were much better. Anyway I figured it would be best for me to go out on my own to get new outfits and this is the result."
"I see," Fenris said. Forget dying…his mageling was going to drive him mad with want and need before then.
"So are you feeling up for a light meal? I skipped breakfast and so I'm starved. You can go up while I can order something for our room—"
He stopped her right there. "No," he said firmly. "We'll go together." Then he latched on to her hand and herded her over to the inn's dining room. After his mageling had placed an order for them, Fenris led her back to their suite, never letting go of her hand. He continued to keep a close eye on her throughout their meal, half-scared that if he looked away for just one second that she would vanish.
No such calamity occurred, however, and when they were finished, Hawke began to push to go to the docks. Fenris readily agreed, not wanting to give the mageling another excuse to venture out on her own. Though he desperately wanted to continue hanging on to her hand to reassure himself that she wouldn't leave him, he knew that would only attract more stares. Though they hadn't been in Wycombe or the Free Marches long, Fenris was willing to bet that elves were held in low regard here too. It would only be asking for trouble to keep physical hold of his mageling, especially when she looked as delectable as she did.
Because of this, Fenris let Hawke lead the way. Theoretically this allowed him to keep an eye out for any enemies or potential troublemakers. Reality was a bit different though. Fenris found it hard to concentrate on anything aside from the swaying of Hawke's hips from side to side as she walked and wondering how it would feel to have those hips rocking beneath him. He wasn't much use to Hawke when she began questioning different Fereldan sailors to see if any of them knew of her home town of Lothering.
Apparently her village was small enough that not many had heard of it, much less visited it. Time and time again, Hawke was met with disappointment when she got answers from different sailors. Of course, Hawke also received many offers along with those disappointing answers but fortunately the mageling simply ignored them time and time again in favor of moving on to the next ship with a Fereldan flag.
Hawke's luck changed, however, with the last ship they found. "Lothering?" the ship's captain repeated back to her. He was a tall man with light brown hair and hazel eyes. "Yes, I know of the village. Good farmland there, if I remember correctly, and it sells farm goods to Redcliffe every year."
"That's right!" Hawke cried. She beamed at the man, and Fenris could tell that his mageling was excited to have finally found someone who might have more information. "I don't suppose you've been there lately. I'm from Lothering, you see, and I was wondering—"
The captain raised up a hand to forestall Hawke's questions. "I'm afraid I've never been there personally, my dear," he told her. Then a crafty look appeared in his eyes. "I have one more stop up the river though, and a couple of the passengers I've been hired to pick up have actually been to Lothering. They might have more information for you if you're looking for news of the place."
"Oh," said Hawke. She was shifting back and forth on her feet, thrilled at the notion of speaking to someone who might know something about her family. "Will you stop back here after you pick them up?" she asked.
The captain shrugged his shoulders. "Who knows? That depends on what supplies we can get inland and also what sort of currents we're facing. I want to get back to Ferelden before winter, and so if we're pressed for time then that'll be another reason to set off for Denerim without making port at Wycombe again."
"I see," said Hawke, visibly deflated.
"Don't look so disappointed, my dear," the captain told her. Though the man smiled charmingly at Hawke, Fenris wasn't fooled. The way the captain looked at his mageling was positively indecent, making Fenris toy briefly with the thought of dragging his mageling far away from here. "It's your lucky day. I happen to have a spot on my ship for one more passenger so you can sail along with us if you like."
Fenris clenched his fists. He wanted to rip the man's head off for putting such an offer before his mageling. Hawke couldn't leave him; his panic this morning proved to him that he would be lost without her. Yet the captain's offer must be tempting to the mageling, who Fenris knew missed her family desperately despite her denials.
The mageling wrinkled her nose. "Only one more passenger?" she asked, tilting her head to one side.
"Yes," the captain confirmed. He sneered over at Fenris. "So I'm afraid you'll have to leave your elven manservant behind. Never fear, I am certain he'll be able to find employment somewhere else in this city."
"I'm not worried," Hawke said lightly. "Because I'm not leaving Fenris behind. Thank you for your information, captain. Now if you'll excuse us, Fenris and I should best be on our way."
Just like that, his mageling led him away from that blighted captain and the docks of Wycombe. Fenris let out a breath that he hadn't known he had been holding in. He had thought that the offer would have been too good for Hawke to pass up and she would have agreed to leave him behind. Though he was grateful that his mageling had told the ship's captain no, Fenris couldn't help but wonder why she did so. Not only had the captain offered her a chance to question people who had actually been to her small village but he had implied that she would also get a ride back to Ferelden.
Fenris turned that puzzle around in his mind as he followed Hawke back to the inn, so distracted that he couldn't even admire Hawke's figure as he trailed after her. He knew that Hawke missed her family, that there were times that she felt lonely without them. As much as he hated to admit it, he knew that he simply couldn't fill that gap in her life; it was simply too big of a hole for anyone to patch up. That was why Hawke continued to grasp for straws, having readily agreed to his rather weak plan of questioning all of her countrymen that they ran across in case one of them might have news of the family from which she was stolen.
At the inn, Hawke ordered a meal of warm stew and fresh baked bread that the two of them took back to their suite. The pair sat down in the sitting room and ate in silence, with Fenris still agonizing over why Hawke had answered the way she did while the mageling was lost in her own thoughts. Perhaps, Fenris reasoned, Hawke had told the captain no because she wanted to avoid traveling by sea again.
The more Fenris thought about that idea, the more it made sense. Hawke had been desperately ill when they were on Isabela's ship, and she only improved after the ship's cook had started dosing her with ginger tea. While Hawke could be innocent of the ways of the world, she wasn't stupid. She had to know that she would most likely get sick if she sailed again but this time she wouldn't have Fenris at her side to take care of her.
Fenris felt a burst of anger surge through him. This time though his anger was focused inward. He was such a fool to think that Hawke would choose him over her family. Of course, his mageling wouldn't. She loved her family. Whenever she spoke of them, she spoke of them fondly and he could see in her eyes how much she wanted to see them again. Stacked up against that...what chance did he have? None, of course, and only a complete imbecile would believe otherwise.
He stood up from the table. He needed to get away, away from Hawke and all of his stupid desires. Fenris had been such a fool to think that Hawke could ever be interested in someone like him. Though it was obvious Hawke was fond of him, her fondness was for a friend and nothing more. He needed to banish any hopes for something more with her straight away and to do that, he would need a clear head.
"Fenris? Is something wrong?" Hawke asked, peering up at him from her spot at the table.
"Yes…I mean no." Fenris grimaced. "I need to get some air."
His mageling's face twisted up with worry, and before he could leave, she was by his side, pressing a cool hand against his forehead. "Hmm…you're rather flushed but it doesn't seem like you're running a fever. I don't think you're sick."
"That's because I'm not," he told her. "Now if you will excuse me—"
"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I won't. What's wrong, Fenris? I can tell something's been bothering you all day. Are you still put out about this morning? I left you a note. I even showed you where it was when we got back here, but you didn't care to look at it. I am sorry you didn't see it. You know I never meant to worry you and I shan't do it again but—"
Fenris finally had had enough. He couldn't take this any more. "You should have accepted that captain's offer," he said brusquely.
"What?" Hawke's jaw dropped open. "But Fenris! You heard the man! He only had a spot for one, and I'd have to leave you behind."
"So? If you had accepted, you would have been able to question his future passengers. Even if they had no useful information, you still would have had a ride back to Ferelden," he said through gritted teeth.
"I know that, Fenris. But the point remains…I would've had to leave you behind and that's simply unacceptable. We're in this together, right? You said you wouldn't leave me, that we would stay together and I…well I have no intentions of leaving you," said Hawke. She twisted her hands together nervously as she spoke, upset with Fenris' line of questioning.
"Foolishness. Your first loyalty should be to your family," he said.
Hawke bit her lip when he called her out on that, her eyes cast downwards at her feet. "My first loyalty," she said softly, "properly belongs to those I love." Then she looked up and into his eyes. Before Fenris knew what was happening, Hawke stood on her toes and shyly pressed her lips to his.
It was meant to be an innocent kiss, just like Hawke, but Fenris wasn't so pure. His iron control had been pushed to its limits by the emotional gamut he had been through that day, and he had no desire to ignore his longing for his mageling yet again. Quicker than thought, he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms around her with his hands coming to rest under the back of her thighs. His tongue flicked across her smooth lips, seeking entrance, as he instinctively lifted her up, pressing her against the nearest wall, trapping her there so she couldn't escape. Not that Hawke was in any mood to run for the mageling oh-so-willingly opened her mouth underneath his, giving him all the permission he needed to explore.
Fenris shifted about a bit, finding just the right position so he could support Hawke against the wall while leaving his hands free to roam across her curves. His mouth left hers as he kissed his way down her pulse line to where her neck met her shoulder. He lingered at that spot, taking care to leave a mark, while he relished the feel of her softness beneath him. His lyrium tattoos flared blue, being in such close contact with a mage, but the pain he felt was nothing compared to the sheer bliss of finally being able to kiss, to touch his mageling so intimately. Hawke was so tempting that Fenris couldn't help but press himself against her, rolling his hips against her so she could feel just how hard he was for her. His mageling was probably too innocent to know what that meant and Fenris knew that he needed to stop before he lost all control, but before he had the chance to back away, Hawke did something that sealed her fate. It was tentative and faint, but his mageling was matching the slow thrusts of his hips with awkward ones of her own.
His eyes darkened with lust as Fenris realized that despite her inexperience, Hawke wanted this as much as he did. It was wrong. His mageling shouldn't have wanted a bitter, half-mad former elven slave such as he. She was meant for better things. However, if she wanted him, then Fenris did not have it in him to deny her.
Fenris supported her in his arms once more, raising his head up towards her so he could claim another bruising kiss from her. Fused together like that, he carried her from the sitting room and to their bedroom, where he carefully laid her down on his bed. He wasted no time in covering her body with his, kissing her again and again.
His hands had a mind of their own, stripping Hawke of both her new shirt and her breast band while he plowed her mouth with his tongue. Once those impediments were gone, he pulled back so he could admire her. Hawke's breasts were soft and full, but not overly so. A smirk played on his lips and then he slid down so he could properly worship them, placing light, open-mouthed kisses across the top of them. His mageling gave a soft mew of pleasure and arched her back forward, all but inviting him to take a taste. After so many weeks of wanting her, Fenris was in no condition to resist such an offer. Without pausing to think, he bent his head over her right breast.
Fenris traced circles around her breast with his tongue, slowly but surely working his way ever inwards. He reveled in the soft gasps and moans that crossed Hawke's lips. He was only a man and so he couldn't help but take satisfaction in the fact that he was the first to ever introduce Hawke to such pleasures—and as far as he was concerned, there would be no other. Fenris closed his mouth over the hard nub of Hawke's nipple and gently sucked it in, fondling her other breast with his hand all the while.
Hawke's sharp cry was all Fenris needed to know that he had hit upon a particularly sensitive spot for his mageling. Hawke ran her hands through his hair and then pressed him closer to her. "Please Fenris…that…please, please I need…don't stop, don't ever stop," she pleaded.
The elf allowed a smile to cross his face. His mageling was begging so prettily that it was hard for him to tell her no, but he was just getting started. He pulled away from her breast only to start working his magic on the other one. This time, Fenris could feel Hawke trembling in anticipation as he teased with slow kisses and flicking swipes with his tongue. She was wound up tight as a spring by the time he began suckling at her other breast. Within moments, she came undone in his arms, totally lost to the sensations he was inflicting upon her.
Fenris propped himself up on his elbows and watched his mageling as she came down from her high, utterly pleased with himself. "Enjoyed that, did you?" he asked once thought returned to her eyes. Her blush was all the answer he needed. Fenris smirked. "Well trust me, Hawke of mine, it's only going to get better. You're going to like what we're going to do next even more."
He stood up then, shucking himself out of his clothes while his mageling continued to recover. Once that was done, he was on Hawke again, this time getting rid of her skirt along with those pesky smalls. He paused, breathing in deeply to take in the unmistakable scent of Hawke's arousal. "Enticing," he murmured pressing a kiss at the apex of her thighs.
"Fenris," Hawke cried. "Please…don't tease." She reached her hands down to him and he allowed her to pull him back up so that they were face to face. His mageling pushed up against him, her eyes widening as his hard length brushed across her. It thrilled Fenris to be reminded that his mageling had never allowed anyone before him to lay their hands on her delightful little body and all of its tantalizing dips and curves.
Fenris became determined that the next time Hawke came, it would be with him fully sheathed within her.
The elf began playing with her sensitive breasts once more but with a twist. This time, he allowed one hand to trace over her stomach before going down to lightly brush his fingers across her sex. Hawke shuddered at the contact but needed little prodding to part open her legs for him to further explore. He began to suck at her breast in earnest as he slipped a hand between her wet folds, tracing the outline of her entrance with his index finger ever as his thumb sought out her clit and gently nudged against it. Hawke tossed back her head and moaned softly, bucking against his hand to seek out more friction. His mageling was so responsive that it didn't take long for him to bring her to the verge of her orgasm again.
Before she could go over that edge Fenris stopped, stilling his hand while kissing his way up her chest and neck to leave a long, searing kiss upon her lovely lips. He drew back slightly and was amused to see Hawke pouting at him. "Fenris!" she all but wailed. "Please…I…don't tease me, please."
He gave her a lazy grin. "Wouldn't dream of it," he said. "Just tell me what you want, and it shall be done."
She bit her lip and blushed. "You know what I want!" she cried.
He tilted his head to one side and looked at his little mageling. She had back down from the edge and so was ready for more. "Perhaps I do at that," he murmured huskily. Then he bowed his head over her body once more, focusing his attentions on her other breast. He had her near completion in no time, her obvious need for release making the lyrium in his skin sing. Again he stopped and waited for her to come back down, ignoring her enjoinders for him to finish and slipping out of her hands when she tried to clutch his head to her chest. His mageling had driven him mad all day long with want and desire, and now it was time for him to return the favor.
Over and over again, he brought her to the edge only to deny her. He alternated his attentions between each of her breasts and her now dripping sex. She flailed beneath his expert hands, calling and begging for more, but he ignored her until he felt he couldn't take much more of his pace too.
Fenris peered down at his mageling's face. Tears ran down her cheeks, and frustration was writ large in her eyes. He drew close to her so that their noses were practically touching. He aligned his body with hers, teasing her entrance with the tip of his cock, now freely leaking pre-cum, as he reached between them to flick his thumb over her sensitized clit. "You want something of me," he noted, his voice dropping a register as he reveled in her desire for him. "Tell me what it is and you shall have it."
"You," she gasped out, bucking her hips against him. "I want you, Fenris, so please—"
That was close but not close enough. He wanted to hear from her own lips that she wanted him to drive her to completion. "You already have me. Is there something more?" he asked, his voice husky with the want he barely held in.
"Yes, please Fenris, I want you so please…." She licked her lips nervously before continuing. "I want you in me so please, please, please."
He quirked an eyebrow at her. "You want me in you?" He slipped a single finger between her folds. "Like this?"
"More!" she begged him and so he let a second finger join the first. She thrust her hips up against him, eager for more contact.
"You still need more?" he asked.
Hawke shuddered under him. "Please…all of you, I want all of you."
"I doubt that," he said. "I think you want something…more specific." He tilted his head to one side so he could lick the rim of her ear. Fenris moved his hands up to her breasts, kneading them gently as he started to tease her entrance with the tip of his cock, slipping it in slightly before pulling out. He could feel his control slipping and he knew it wouldn't be long before he would have to take her. Before then, however, he was determined to hear her fully voice her desire for him and so he decided to give her some help.
"Perhaps what you meant to say," he whispered to her, his breath warming her ear, "is that you want my cock."
Hawke nodded her head frantically yes.
"Say it," he commanded.
She needed no further prompting so desperate she was to have him. "Please, Fenris, I want…I want your cock—all of it—in me!"
Those words falling from her lips broke the final barrier to his self-control. With a low growl, he pushed inside her. He rubbed Hawke's nipples as he broke through her virgin barrier, to give her a bit of pleasure with the pain. Once fully sheathed, he threw his head back, almost overwhelmed with the sensation of being in his mageling finally. She felt so tight and hot around him that he wondered how he could have lived so long without being inside her. He pulled back, drawing out of her before plunging back in her tight depths, repeating the motion and going faster and faster until he was all but pounding her into the mattress below them. His mouth hovered over her right breast again, leaving a path of open-mouthed kisses all around it while he rolled her nipple between his forefinger and his thumb. He wasn't going to last long but before he went, he wanted to feel his mageling come around him, squeezing him, milking him.
Fenris let his other hand drift down to where he was joined intimately with his mageling. One nudge at her clit was all it took to send her flying over the edge again, her sex constricting around him, drawing his cock further in. That was it for him. Fenris came with a roar, soaking her insides with his seed as he came and came. His lean body was corded with tension as he unleashed all of his pent-up desire at once upon her. His vision blurred as he gave himself over to unimaginable bliss, which seemed to go on forever but could never last long enough.
He pulled out of her when it was over, rolling to one side so he wouldn't crush her. Hawke cuddled up to his side, her arms slipping around him as she laid her head against his chest. He dropped a kiss upon her head, but she was too sleepy to acknowledge it and only sighed as she burrowed deeper into his embrace. Finally sated, Fenris let his weariness draw him into sleep—but not to dream, like his mageling, but rather to remember.