Chapter 12 Transitions

Birkhoff stared at her over the rim of his coffee cup, eyes following her every move. Swallowing distractedly, he watched her reach overhead, take down a pan and gently toss her hair over one shoulder before she turned back to catch him watching.

"How's the coffee?" she asked as if she hadn't noticed, setting the pan down and reaching for the batter.

"Great," he answered, clearing his throat. "Thanks." Glancing over at their host, he saw that Nikita wore a bland expression as she stared at her monitor.

So when is she going to leave? he wondered, remembering how she'd mentioned some errands she'd needed to do. That had been over an hour ago.

Turning back he met Alex's sapphire gaze, and had the distinct feeling that she could read his mind. Her mouth curled up into a smile as she spooned dough into the pan while he couldn't seem to stop staring at her. Especially when she seemed to enjoy it so much.

"It's almost ready to go in," she stated, sprinkling something over the top as she also eyed Nikita.

"Don't rush on my account," he murmured, catching Nikita throwing him a look for the third time in less than five minutes. Each time he'd caught her she'd quickly looked away, making him suspicious. "Want some help?" he asked Alex.

She looked up with a sarcastic smile. "I'm almost done."

"Sorry," he grinned, shifting uncomfortably despite the raw ache in his shoulders, "better late than never."

Nikita shook her head at his comment as she typed something, still pretending not to be interested in their interaction.

"You did offer to cook for me once, if you remember," Alex teased, eyeing him meaningfully before turning to place the pan in the oven. "Careful," she threw over one shoulder, "I might ask you for a raincheck."

"No problemo," he drawled, sliding off the stool and walking toward her. She turned to face him, wiping her hands on a towel as she gazed up at him. He smiled, feeling bit off-centered as he leaned closer. She braced him up with the hand she placed at the center of his chest. "As soon as I get my land legs back," he hissed, surprised at the sudden weakness he felt.

"Whoa there," she warned with a smile as he righted himself. Glancing down at her hand, he studied her well manicured fingers spread over the rows of gauze still binding him. When he looked back up into her eyes she smiled knowingly, pulling her hand away. "Maybe you'd better sit back down, Birkhoff."

He drew the edges of his shirt closer. "I hate being useless," he sighed, feeling the new incision Roan had made below his belt line to remove his tracking device, taking him permanently off-grid from Division's monitoring.

"You could help me with something," Nikita suggested, her smile smug. "I'm in a bind here."

"Yes, ma'am," he drawled, walking toward her on a more even keel. He blamed the painkiller and antibiotics for draining even more of his strength.

At his approach Nikita slid off the chair and held it for him. With an apologetic smirk he reluctantly sat down before her monitor. She leaned close, reaching over his arm to bring up the problem she wanted help with.

"Careful hot shot," she breathed while Alex washed the bowl and utensils under running water. "I've got my eye on you."

He smiled at the screen, pulling the mouse from under her hand to manipulate her data. "Thought you said you had someplace to beee…" he breathed, eyes on the monitor.

"Don't be so eager to get rid of me," she chuckled. "I'm waiting for those cinnamon rolls—can you blame me?"

"Certainly not," he drawled, enjoying the teasing banter they'd always had. Glancing up at her, he saw her reserved smile though she was watching his test scan run. "And don't think I'm not grateful for your putting me up."

"I know you are, nerd," she smiled, shaking her head at what he'd already done to solve her hacking problem. She stared at him in awe. "You're so good at this! It would've taken me hours to even get close!"

He sighed contentedly. "Glad to earn my keep, for the time being."

"You've done more than that already," she answered, straightening and turning his chair so that he faced Alex. She looked up, eyes darting between them.

"What?" she demanded, frowning at Nikita's bemused smile. "Am I missing something?"

"I would like to make an announcement," Nikita stated, laying her hand over his wrist. "Now that Birkhoff here is cut off from Division and essentially homeless, I think we should make renovations to the place—you know, make it more livable for three."

He glanced up at her with a somber expression. "Ah…I can't stay," he warned gently, "not that I don't appreciate the offer."

"Oh come on, nerd, it'll be fun," Nikita smiled.

"Sorry, boss—I got other plans."

Alex came over, crossing her arms and eyeing him hopefully. "But Nikita just offered you a place here, with us..."

"Don't worry, you won't be the only guy," Nikita replied. "Michael's already been here, and I'm trying to convince him to move in."

"Seriously, I have other plans," he repeated, eyeing Alex meaningfully. "I just haven't had the chance to discuss them with anyone…"

She eyed Nikita, who straightened and removed her hand from his wrist. "Maybe I should give you two some time to talk—"

"No—it's fine," Alex said stiffly, walking toward the beds. "Breakfast will be ready in about 10 minutes."

"It smells delicious," Nikita called after her, darting him a warning glance. Go after her…

He got up stiffly as Alex flipped the covers back on her roll-way bed and began to remake it.

Nikita slid back into her chair. "Thanks, Birkhoff…now I can finally get on with my work."

"Sure… we can talk later," he said distractedly, puzzled by the way Alex marched around his bed, which was really Nikita's, snatching up the pillows to toss them aside before straightening the bed military style, her movements crisp and annoyed.

"What's wrong?" he said, going over to her as she finished. She didn't answer, so he stepped in front of her to block her retreat back toward the kitchen area.

She looked up, expelling a tense breath. He waited, gazing into her eyes until she lost some steam. Eyeing Nikita, she looked back up at him with a shrug. "I don't know—it just seemed kind of nice, picturing all of us as roommates."

He leaned closer, wishing they were alone. "I've gone the college route already," he said gently.

"Don't mind me," Nikita called, waving her hand as she studied her monitor. "You guys talk."

"It's fine," she insisted, her voice throaty as she reached past him to grab her robe and kick her slippers beneath the roll-away. He watched her hang up the robe wondering how he could get her to be patient with him. He'd only just crawled out of his pain-filled haze only yesterday.

"Hey," he said softly, catching her arm and. "It's definitely not fine."

She managed to shake off whatever was bothering her as he reached up to catch a tendril of her hair, gently rubbing it between his fingers. She stared up at him, her eyes huge and fluid. He wanted nothing more than to cup her cheek and kiss her, but he was too aware of Nikita's watchful eye.

"I'm sorry," she sighed, reaching up to touch him over his heart. He caught her hand, bracing himself against his reaction to her touch. "I'm being silly and childish—"

"No, you're not," he whispered, holding her gaze though he was tempted to stare at her lips. "We'll talk, alright?"

She nodded as the timer chimed, then forced a smile before stepping away. "Breakfast is served!"

Nikita leapt from her chair, beating her to the oven. "I'll get them," she chortled, "I can't wait to sink my teeth into one. Get the butter, will you?"

"Sure," Alex laughed, thankful for her effort to cheer them up. "More coffee?"

"Naturally," she answered, placing the pan on the trivet and turning to take out three plates and knives. "Come along, nerd," she croaked toward him, "your first real breakfast is about to be served!"

He walked over to the breakfast bar, laying a hand over his heart as he bowed his head. "I'd be honored, ladies…thanks for the spread."

Nikita served him first, cutting him the biggest gooiest cinnamon bun he'd ever seen, sliding it onto his plate. "There you go!"

Alex's eyes twinkled as she poured him another cup of coffee. "Hope you like them."

He sat down across from her, inhaling the fragrance of the cinnamon before he placed a forkful into his mouth. Watching them settle down to their own, he felt the spice and sugar melt on his tongue as he chewed. Then, letting it slide down his throat toward a very empty stomach, he closed his eyes.

"Um-ummmmhhh," he moaned, "baking heaven."

Nikita swallowed and laughed lustily, poking Alex with her elbow. "So it's true in his case—the way to a man's heart is through his stomach…or maybe other parts."

Alex bit into her own, holding his gaze as he stared them down. "I'm not even going to reply to that," he assured them. They laughed as he lifted his mug with a smirk. "No way, ladies."

At the bang of a door below Nikita stiffened, then jumped up to check the video cam. "It's Michael!" she gushed, her face lighting up as she ran off to greet him.

Alex stared after her as he reached for her hand, and when she looked at him he smiled gently. "Hey," he whispered, watching her eyes soften. "We ok?"

She nodded, distracted by footsteps coming up the stairs. Nikita tugged Michael into view as they pulled their hands back.

"Hey—look who's returned to the land of the living," Michael greeted him, his eyes shifting to his heavily bandaged chest, the dark circles under his eyes and his pale skin. "Or have you?" he scowled.

Birkhoff reached up to grip his hand for a brief shake. "There's no doubt—care to join us?"

"Don't mind if I do," he breathed, leaning over to kiss Nikita's cheek before waving to Alex. "Looks like one little happy family of ex-Divisionites."

"Almost is," Nikita admitted, handing him a bun. "We're making the transition—you're next."

"Oh I'm going out, but in stages," he sighed as Alex poured him a cup of coffee. "Baby steps, right Alex?"

She shrugged, glancing at Birkhoff. "I'm not sure how yet—everything's twisted around so quickly."

"Tell me about it," Michael grumbled, sipping his coffee and eyeing Birkhoff. "I can hardly believe Roan did Percy in—who could see that coming?"

He shook his head, his stomach full from only half a cinnamon bun. "The guy's amazing, but after what Percy did to me and killing the engineer—"

"He what?" Michael choked, eyeing Nikita. "Percy killed him? Whatever for?"

"No reason," he answered, shaking his head. "I knew I'd be next—probably sooner than expected."

"I saw him do it," Alex added. "I was hiding in the ventilation duct watching them work, then Percy came in, found out he'd taught Birkhoff what he needed to know, then just reached over and broke his neck. It was horrible…"

Michael eyed her suspiciously. "Why were you anywhere near that?"

"She was following my orders," Nikita stated, laying a hand on Michael's arm. "I'm sorry, Alex—I had no idea Percy was that cruel."

"The guy suspected it," Birkhoff admitted quietly. "He kept saying something about us being expendable."

"Percy needed you, which is why he didn't kill you," Alex stated, studying his expression.

Michael's face lit with revelation. "Wait a minute—you used to accuse me of being Percy's pet, and that you were the whipping boy…correct me if I'm wrong—"

"You're not," Birkhoff sighed, "that wasn't the first time, but compared to this one it was a slap on the hands. No, man—my days were numbered there. I had to get out."

Michael nodded toward Alex. "So you took her with you?"

"No—of course not," he shot back, eyeing Alex as she interrupted.

"I followed him and begged him to take me with him," she admitted, reaching for his hand. He squeezed hers gently, eyeing Michael soberly.

He looked stunned. "Wow," he smiled, glancing at Nikita. "You know I sensed there was something between them, but passed it off as just teasing and flirting."

"Seems we were both wrong," Nikita admitted, laying a hand on his arm. "Now you and Alex need to get out, and soon. It should be easier, with Percy gone."

"Don't underestimate Amanda," Birkhoff warned. "Roan said she's already reported to Oversight and taken command with their blessing."

"One false step and Amanda will have Alex taken out," Michael worried, eyeing him as well. "And you'd better watch your back my friend, with all you know and have worked on."

"Roan took out his tracking device," Alex stated, her gaze moving back to him. "And Nikita's looking for a way to neutralize mine. Till then I'll play it safe."

"That'll be my priority as well," he admitted, studying her expression. "Don't worry—we'll fry that kill chip if it's the last thing we do."

She smiled bravely, lifting her cup. "I know you will."

"I've planned getting out for years," he sighed, waving a hand. "It was only a matter of time."

"But you had the highest position, next to Percy's and Amanda's," Michael marveled. "Why risk it, when you could do so many things undercover and on scene?"

"You never saw the way Percy hung over me and played mind games to prevent that," he sighed. "No, it was a trap and I've finally had enough. Besides that, Division has no idea what they're going to get as payback from me…nobody does."

When they stared at him in surprise he got up and walked toward the windows, gazing out over the city. "All the years I slaved for them, gotten ulcers from the pressure they put on me…I'm done, but I'll be leaving them with a big surprise."

"Well I gotta go," Michael announced, getting up as Nikita announced she was going out too. "Be well, Birkhoff."

"Thanks," he called, half turning to watch them leave while Alex came to his side.

"I'll be back for dinner," Nikita called before she disappeared around the corner.

They listened as their footsteps faded, then the door locked behind them. Winding her arm around the back of his waist she leaned her head against his good shoulder. He gripped her hand, too sore to lift his arm to her shoulders. They stood together in silence, looking out over the city.

Alex sighed contentedly, gazing up at him. "Alone at last…" she smiled shyly.

He stared into her questioning gaze. "Time for our talk, princess," he said gently. " I couldn't explain, before."

"That's fine," she breathed, turning her cheek into his palm. "I understand."

He closed his eyes. "I don't deserve you," he said huskily, lifting her cheek and kissing her lips. She kissed him back, sharing slowly exploratory kisses until he couldn't stand any more. "Wish I wasn't all cut up right about now …."

She laughed huskily, easing away. "We have to take it easy til you're better."

"I'm a whole lot better right now," he choked, trying to stomp down his desire for her. Clutching her hand, he led her back toward the table. "Let's sit down and I'll tell you everything I'm planning and your part in it—assuming you're in?"

She moved before him, stood on her toes and kissed him saucily. "If you're planning anything I'm definitely in."

He studied her critically. "Really? Just like that?"

She nodded and smiled. "Just like that."

"You're sure?"

"Very sure…the sooner the better."

He sighed, eyeing her closely. "It'll mean the highest level of commitment..."

Her eyes fired as she stared him down. "You don't think I'm committed?"

"It's not that," he warned gently, lifting her hand and kissing her knuckles. "You just haven't heard the whole story."

"Then tell me," she insisted, leading him toward the stool. "And sit down, before you fall down."

"Hey," he protested, sitting anyway. "I'm not that much of a weakling—"

"No, but you've been through a lot," she sighed. "And I don't want anything interfering with this discussion."

He eyed her fondly as she sat where Michael had, turning the stool to face him and pressing her knees against his. "I'm ready."

His eyes brushed down her petite form, focusing on the intimate touch of her knees against his. Clearing his throat, he looked up. "Alright princess—listen up, then give me your royal decree once I've finished."

She leaned her arm on the table and studied him with rapt attention. Distracted at first, he began to relate his plan, careful to keep the exact details and locations vague as she watched him in stunned silence. He told her how he'd amassed a good sized fortune and what he meant to do with it, reassured by the look in her eyes that she was the one to share it with. If she agreed he hoped to make the most of their time together and somehow find a place to build something good from the rubble of their past.

Alex stared at Nikita, wondering how to begin. Everything Birkhoff had told her still astounded her, but judging by the expressions on his face he had been truthful with her. Now it was up to her to learn how to trust him completely, something she'd not been able to do with anyone in a very long time.

"Well, what happened?" Nikita repeated, clutching her hand. "What did he say?"

She shook her head. "I still can't believe it," she admitted softly. "He always seems so casual about everything…"

"Alex please—you're killing me with the suspense!" Nikita gushed, eyeing the golden glow of the lights streaming toward them from inside. "Did he tell you what he plans and where he's going? And what did he mean by paying Division back?"

"Nikita, please," Alex urged, "give me a chance! I'm still trying to take it all in—"

"He must have offered you the chance to work with him—"

"Yes, he did," she said carefully, knowing she had his ok to share with Nikita.

"Don't keep me in suspense—I know he's got some major cyber intrusion in the works—"

"He asked me to marry him," she interrupted, her heart flooded with emotion by his unexpected proposal.

She smiled into the momentary silence, though Nikita dropped her hand. "What?" she croaked, her hopeful expression fading. "What did you say?"she whispered, her eyes darting back to the apartment.

Now that she'd told Nikita her spirits lifted again. "He asked me to marry him, Nikita," she sighed happily. "Birkhoff and me, married!"

"Alex, are you serious?" Nikita croaked, shaking her head. "Is Birkhoff serious?"

Her smile faded. "Of course he is…why do you say that?"

Nikita looked shocked, a cynical smile lifting her lips. "Birkhoff—married? "

When Alex saw her cover her mouth to keep from laughing she felt like hitting her. "Yes! He asked me to marry him and I said yes—you have a problem with that?"

Nikita's smile began to fade. "I'm sorry," she breathed, lifting a hand to her forehead. "It's just so…
'surprising' I guess is the word. He's like the perennial bachelor or perennial ladies' man, to me—"

"If I'd known you were going to laugh I never would have told you!" she cried, turning to leave.

"Alex wait," Nikita called, "I'm sorry—don't go, please!"

She stopped, gazing at him through the glass panels as he sat at Nikita's computer, working through a problem for her. And all the while Nikita was out on the landing laughing at him. Turning abruptly, she pulled her sweater coat closer and pointed a finger at her.

"You know, you can be really heartless sometimes!" she accused. "You treat him like he's your little slave when you're not flirting with him, as if his feelings don't even matter!"

"I'm sorry, Alex—I didn't mean to insult you, or him—"

"He really liked you once, but all you ever did was tease him!" she added, hating the jealousy surging through her at the thought of him having a crush on Nikita, albeit years ago. "You like playing with men, don't you? Kinda makes you feel powerful and in control, doesn't it? Well you don't know him at all if you think he's just someone to flirt with or dispose of when he's not useful to you anymore!"

Turning away she ignored Nikita's pleas and pulled the door open, storming across the room. He called her name as she rushed toward the stairs, unable to face him with Nikita coming after her.

"What's wrong?" he shouted after her, rising to his feet and staring accusingly at Nikita as she marched past him.

"It's a girl thing," she explained, ignoring his glare as she passed. "We'll work it out."

"That makes me feel so much better," he called out.

Alex hated leaving him, but even more she hated the way Nikita had spoiled what had become the most wonderful afternoon of her life. He'd asked her to marry him, promising to take care of her and help them make a real life together, a normal life. She loved him for it, even though right now it seemed an impossible dream. But she also trusted him and believed in him, and she'd said yes. Vowing not to let Nikita spoil it, she stopped suddenly when she heard her call out again. Turning to face her, she glanced up at the building and saw his silhouette as he stood looking down at them. He shifted when their eyes met even across the distance, but she nodded to him and lifted her chin, shoving her hands into her pockets. He was watching, and she could feel his strength supporting her.

"You may think we're just stupid kids but we're not!" she shouted at Nikita, encouraged by her remorseful expression. And the humor and mocking in her expression were gone.

"You two are anything but stupid," she admitted, trying to catch her breath. "At first I thought it was just a naïve dream, but I'm willing to support you in whatever you decide…both of you."

Alex stared at her a moment, deciding she was being truthful. She lifted her chin another notch. "Alright. I appreciate that."

"And I'm going to give Seymour my congratulations, too," she added. "I remember now, we talked about this a while ago and I decided you'd make a good match."

"Then we have your support?" she checked, trying not to hold her breath. Without Nikita's approval and help, everything would be much more difficult.

She nodded. "More than that—you have my blessing."

c. 2011 by Christine Levitt

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