Broken Bond?
"No you may not leave Sesshoumaru; I don't care how many 'obligations' you have in other places, while there is disharmony in the West, your first obligation is here."
"I have caused no disharmony Father and therefore cannot be of any assistance to aid you." Sesshoumaru was once again formally pompous and it nearly caused his father to roll his eyes at his eldest. His son and heir was always so coldly defensive when he was hurt; withdrawing inwards instead of confronting the problem, relying on his own sometimes questionable strengths rather than asking for help. That was where Inuyasha could help, the younger boy was the opposite; full of fire and quite capable of annoying anyone but without malice. Inuyasha was far more open by nature, he could hide nothing well and he patently adored his older sibling.
It was not Sesshoumaru's fault; his mother had been exactly the same when she was younger, but her mate had helped her learn to trust and she had far more experience in dealing with life than had their son. Sesshoumaru had yet to know how a mate bonding could help him, and that event would be a far off thing if he didn't learn to lighten up first. Now though the General had to help his eldest two to sort out their difficulties again and it became harder to do the older Inuyasha got, he was not going to always be as obliging as when he was younger. Inu no Taishou went to speak with his mate hoping she could suggest ideas that would help after Sesshoumaru left in a quietly controlled huff.
"What is this My Love, is the General of the West having more trouble with his two little boys than all of his army put together?"
"I think you would have trouble with them if they knew you thought them 'little' boys My Mate." Inu no Taishou chuckled. The Lady smiled back at him;
"But they are My Love; especially when they argue, they both act as if they should still be in the nursery."
"Maybe so, but they are more powerful now than then and can cause more damage."
"What did Sesshoumaru say when you told him he couldn't run away?"
"Not a lot, but I recognised the look very well; it was the one you used to wear just before you ground your heel into my foot."
"Hmmn, you are in trouble then; still never mind, you always used to be able to get me out of my foul moods…you were the only one who could, come to think of it."
"I hated to see you cross, it usually meant that you were upset, you smelled sad."
"You have always been very perceptive; Sesshoumaru is the same as me in that regard."
"I know, just as I know that Inuyasha is the only one who really cares to see beneath his brother's coolness. The other three are similar but closer in age, Sesshoumaru has been alone for too long."
"He hasn't been alone, he has had us and for many years he has had Inuyasha; that's part of the reason he is angry now, he's had a bad fright."
"What should I do with them then My Mate; I don't want this to escalate…"
"It won't, and you should let them sort it out between themselves; just watch from the sidelines to make sure they don't kill each other before making friends again."
"It bothers me that one day Inuyasha will cease to try to make amends; the boy is growing up too and won't always be the one to make the first move."
"And neither should he be; both boys need each other My Love, it is obvious that Inuyasha's sense of self-worth is measured by Sesshoumaru's approval and as for Sesshoumaru, he needs Inuyasha to fight to help him to open up enough to relate to others. He is your heir, but with Inuyasha as his second they will be balanced and therefore formidable."
"I hope that time is long in coming."
"So My Love, do I, but I remember vividly how close we came to losing you, none of us are invincible, not even you."
"I too still have night terrors of that time and am sensible of my mortality.
"I am not suggesting that they are completely left to their own devices for always, guidance is still necessary for our pups, but for now leave them and see how it goes; treat it the same as any other challenge."
"You are wise My Mate; of course I hadn't considered that Sesshoumaru's youkai would consider Inuyasha's actions as a challenge to his Alpha."
Solving this challenge was going to be unlike any others that had been seen around the Western Palace and its lands; and there had been many. After all, almost all families squabbled and challenges for pack position within them, was the norm; taking place privately and quickly as a physical fight was usually fairly swift. Of course with a high profile family there was more interest, but usually there was a general announcement of major changes only. Between Inuyasha and his elder brother however, this challenge and response was made without either party actually realising what was happening.
Inu no Taishou and his Lady prepared to wait this out; it soon became obvious that Inuyasha's human heart was ruling him when it came to his brother, his instincts were completely lacking. Although it was also interesting to the parents, that Sesshoumaru too was acting in almost a human way in his dealings with Inuyasha, as if his instincts were directing him down a different road. Or it could just be that both were being pig headedly stubborn in the manner of siblings at strife anywhere, transcending their different make-ups.
Of course the servants were far too discreet to find obvious entertainment from the situation at hand, but the younger siblings of the pair concerned were nowhere near subtle and watched eagerly as the contretemps developed. Susumu had all but given up trying the diplomatic way; reminding Sesshoumaru that Inuyasha was still only a young pup, not fully realising the trouble he could have been in, only got a terse reply that he had been old enough to consider human marriage. Then he'd been told to mind his own business and get out, which he had done and now waited on Inu no Taishou's advice, that he go home on leave for a while.
The General thought it would do Sesshoumaru no harm to realise he could have caused a diplomatic incident by dismissing an ambassador so summarily. Even when Susumu protested that he had given the advice as a friend, Inu no Taishou insisted; that for the sake of his heir learning a good lesson in diplomacy it would be good for him to apologise to Susumu for his rudeness. There was no excuse for him taking out his frustrations with his brother on a friend; Sesshoumaru's temper could be dangerous and he was old enough to know how to control himself better; a Lord with his responsibilities in the future could not afford to be irrationally provoked.
On the morning of the day after Sesshoumaru walked out on the evening meal, Inuyasha waited for his brother outside his study door. The boy's ears were lowered and his aura subdued; to Jaken's eyes he looked appropriately penitent. The small toad-like youkai was acting as a secretary at the moment to his master and went to inform Sesshoumaru that Lord Inuyasha wished to see him. He came back a few seconds later to inform the Young Lord that his older brother was busy and not to be disturbed.
After he had been turned away a few times, Inuyasha gave up going to Sesshoumaru's suite and tried to intercept him less formally. But the older brother proved to be illusive and Inuyasha only caught glimpses of him around and when he'd tried to bring up the subject at dinner he was rebuked for doing so. Sesshoumaru considered that discussing such matters was not suitable for relaxed atmosphere of the meal. He did however glance at his parents to see how they reacted to his imperious decree and finding neither of them objecting, the older son knew that they were not going to interfere between him and Inuyasha.
It was true that Sesshoumaru was getting some infantile feeling of satisfaction as he annoyed Inuyasha by never letting the boy near to him, but that was not all. He was genuinely angry and didn't want to be provoked into saying or doing something he would regret. Therefore, keeping Inuyasha away from him was essential if Sesshoumaru was to regain his calm equilibrium where it concerned the hanyou. Unfortunately that didn't suit the younger brother at all and never one to take a hint, Inuyasha kept on seeking the elder out.
At first Inuyasha was sorry for the upset he had caused, but this feeling was rapidly vaporising into anger as he knew that Sesshoumaru was deliberately ignoring him. Inuyasha now waited outside of Sesshoumaru's study for hours just sitting, determined to see his brother yet still in vain; and Jaken telling him that Sesshoumaru was very busy, just made him seethe even more. But the final straw came when he heard laughter in the gardens and saw all of his siblings at play with the remains of a picnic clearly in view.
Sesshoumaru hadn't been busy in his room at all, the entire time that Inuyasha had been sitting almost patiently for his big brother to finish work and speak with him, the older boy had been outside. Inuyasha then had the terrible thought that the same trick had been played on him each time he had waited and one look at Jaken's guilty face confirmed the suspicion; Sesshoumaru had leapt out of his window at the earliest opportunity rather than face his younger ingrate of a brother.
Inuyasha's blood boiled and the whole of the Western Palace was made very aware of what the boy thought about Sesshoumaru. The Lord and Lady looked at one another and wondered just what else Inuyasha had learned at school; but for this one time only, Inu no Taishou would overlook the colourful and inventive words. Sesshoumaru though was furious and he shot like a missile towards Inuyasha who glared at him, although with some trepidation. Inuyasha was determined to stand his ground, his fists clenched, his ears pointed backward and his eyes bright and shining. However he couldn't help but step back as Sesshoumaru nearly knocked him down as he flew past the boy with a growl on his way to his suite.
He'd no sooner raced by than Inuyasha turned to give chase, but he could not hope to match his brother's speed and when he reached Sesshoumaru's rooms, the older brother was inside and ignoring him once more. By now Inuyasha was furious and ignoring Jaken squawking his protests, he barged past and straight through Sesshoumaru's door. He was brought to a halt however by the flash and scent of a green whip of youki that narrowly missed his face. Inuyasha could see his brother's face and the barely contained fury that was in the brilliant amber eyes burning into his own.
Inuyasha supposed he had deserved the near miss, he had been abominably rude especially when he was determined to apologise to Sesshoumaru. He moved towards his brother only to be stopped short again by the whip flicking at his nose. The youki stung him and he hissed and bared his teeth at his brother just before he was struck on his ear by the next green flash. That made the young hanyou yelp and glare back at his brother; and an observer would have noticed the almost identical faces of both at that moment. Inuyasha held his hands up in a placating gesture;
"Alright, alright; I know I was rude OK. I was out of order, but I've been trying to see you…"
"But I have no wish to be in your company Inuyasha, nor listen to your puerile reasoning, or haven't you got that through your thick skull yet." Sesshoumaru sneered and Inuyasha was brought up sharply; he hadn't realised how angry Sesshoumaru was, this was more than a reaction to his earlier outbreak of disrespectfully yelled rudeness. Sesshoumaru was good at controlling himself and at mealtimes he had hardly seemed disturbed at all. Now Inuyasha could see the truth for himself and yet he didn't understand; their bond was jumping all over the place, why was Sesshoumaru so furious with him?
Once more Inuyasha tried to reach Sesshoumaru but was held at bay by the whip flicking at his body; the older boy was not intending to injure him but it still stung. Inuyasha's own ire rose again as he yelped because of another flick on his ear.
"Damnit Shu, pack it in, what's wrong with you?"
"I told you not to call me…"
"Yeah and what's all that rubbish about anyway…I'm not dead."
"It should be obvious what I mean; go away."
"Well it ain't, and stop telling me what to do." Inuyasha bit out angrily, his grammar slipping again in his agitation. However to his amazement Sesshoumaru withdrew his youki and turned his back.
"You are right, I no longer have the right to tell you what to do; you have decided I am not worthy to be your Alpha anymore."
"You aren't making any sense Shu."
"Once before when Kouga had upset you, you spoke of changing yourself to a full youkai should the opportunity present itself. I forbid you at the time to look for such method and you have defied me, you reject my counsel and as I am not your father I cannot enforce you to obedience. I can however tell you to leave whilst I am in my own suite."
"That was years ago…I was a pup…"
"It matters not how long ago… now leave me."
"No."
"Very well, I shall leave." Sesshoumaru moved into his interior room and Inuyasha suddenly boiled with anger at being dismissed all the time and he swept all of Sesshoumaru's papers onto the floor from the desk. It got a result; his brother flew out of his room, his eyes red and his markings jagged and pushed Inuyasha out into the hall. Their father who had been outside the door ever since the youki flares he felt, grabbed both sons and marched them to the courtyard where they would do no damage to the interior of the Palace. The boys hardly noticed, both were spoiling for a fight and the growls rose in intensity, but Sesshoumaru still held on to his temper not really wanting to damage Inuyasha.
After an intense fight using fists and claws, brawling like drunken soldiers or brothers fighting, the courtyard was a mess. Flowers and statues lay in broken abandon, carelessly destroyed as the pair rolled around like overgrown puppies. Eventually the snarling died down somewhat and the two bloodied brothers glared at each other.
"You betrayed us Inuyasha, you betrayed all of us; not only that, you disowned us to that human wench." Sesshoumaru spat out at him.
"I…I didn't betray you, I would never do that, how can you say such things…and I didn't disown you, you…you don't know what you are saying." Inuyasha protested, horrified at the accusation. But Sesshoumaru moved in closer to him and hissed;
"You were going to destroy your youki, you were going to become human for that female; you rejected us, your heritage, you rejected me…"
"No, I didn't want to…"
"Yes you did, I had it from the girl herself before she knew who you were. You said you had no one to care about you, that you were an ill-treated cast off boy that nobody was concerned about."
"I never said any of that…"
"You liar… you allowed her to think it and that's the same thing; I had to listen to her describe how awful we all were neglecting you, letting you starve and how you wanted to be human for her to escape the horrors of your life. My youkai despaired over her words, you have destroyed our bond and therefore you are now dead to me as you were." Sesshoumaru was almost shouting.
"Shu, I didn't mean any of it, I swear I didn't. Listen, Papa understands, he knows it was the jewel, it talked to me, tried to tell me to do things, it wasn't me. I wanted to be full youkai not human…I don't even remember how it all got so out of control." Inuyasha was raising his voice to match Sesshoumaru who was uncharacteristically loud and snarling. Their tempers were fraying more and more, as each boy became further exasperated with the other.
"I warned you; never mind what father understands, I warned you and you threw my concern away, ignoring my warnings about such magic."
"Papa said I would have died if I'd become human, if Kikyou had made the wish."
"Perhaps it would have been better, you couldn't care less about us and you are obviously not satisfied with what you are."
"You are such a prick; I could have died immediately…I'd have been a hundred and fifty, too old for a human."
"You could have been purified even sooner."
"Haven't you ever made mistakes then done things you regretted Shu? I know you have, you were spanked by Papa when you put me in danger from the boar. You ain't so perfect Mr High and Mighty."
"I listen to my Alpha, Inuyasha, I learn; you seem to have great difficulty in listening to the advice of those who know better than you. You risked your life or your sanity, courting disaster with the jewel and take for granted those who truly care for you. You are an unmitigated fool who has been fortunate this time."
"Papa walloped me…eight times." Inuyasha said indignantly.
"Had it been me in charge of you, you would have received double and you would have been bleeding. You would learn to heed those who know better and not try to be acceptable to those miserable youkai and humans who disregard you." Sesshoumaru was unrelenting in his reply, but the heat was going out of their discussion.
"He drew blood on the seventh and the only person I want acceptance from is you." Inuyasha retorted without self-pity and there was no immediate reply from the older brother until he sighed heavily.
"You really are still a puppy aren't you Inuyasha? I have always accepted you, always; it is the jewel that has made you feel inadequate."
"I don't want to be weak…"
"No one has ever said you were weak…I never have whatever you may believe."
"You think hanyou are weak."
"In general yes, but not you. There are always exceptions. The jewel has intensified your own insecurities." The voice still held disdain, but now Inuyasha could hear it was over the jewel and not because he was hanyou; it was as if his mind were all his own now. Sesshoumaru's eyes too were finally golden again and his stripes back to normal; he was able to feel Inuyasha's apprehension, his uncertainty over their estrangement again. Obviously his youkai was content with the boy's honesty and Sesshoumaru could feel their bond had never been broken; it had only been hidden to him because of his own fears.
"You said Papa drew blood?"
"Yeah, he really hurt me Shu."
"I suppose you feel I should object in some way? However I will not, you are his son and you deserved all you got. Hopefully you will learn."
"I had to make my youkai promise to tell you or him if I hear of anything again."
"You are still considering change?"
"Papa understood why…I don't want to shame you in front of your friends Shu." Inuyasha said showing that the insecurities hadn't fully gone away with the jewel. Sesshoumaru studied his brother; the vulnerability in his eyes, easily seen beneath the anger, was so uniquely Inuyasha. None of his full youkai siblings were ever unsure of themselves in the same way as this brother. Sesshoumaru remembered seeing a similar look before; a defanged and declawed pup who always wanted to please was clearly visible in the older boy who was still not so very different.
It was a revelation to Sesshoumaru and he remembered Susumu's advice that Inuyasha although adolescent was still only a young pup, he understood as a pup and could get confused. He felt better now that it was clearer to him that Inuyasha hadn't meant to disown them all; things had just gone beyond the boy's control. It was high time that Sesshoumaru played the wiser, older brother, it was in his power to make or break his little brother and he became calm with sudden understanding.
"Do you remember when you got upset when you thought if I had a mate and pups they would hate you and that I would too and push you aside? Papa said to you, 'He will not choose one who does not accept you as you are. His love for you will not change; it will be different to that he will have for his mate and pups.' Inuyasha, nothing has changed; I may not always understand or remember that you feel and do things differently because of your human blood and heart, but know that our bond is for our lifetimes.
Sesshoumaru stopped speaking to wrap his tail around his brother who was shaking with the emotion of having made up with his beloved Shu and from hearing him speak normally again, saying the things Inuyasha needed to know. It had been a stressful time for Inuyasha, the real truth of the dangers he had faced were only just sinking in and the fear that he had destroyed his special relationship with his Shu was devastating. Not to mention that at times he had been unnerved by Sesshoumaru's unusual display of his own depth of feeling. Inuyasha was never afraid of Sesshoumaru even when his youkai was close to the surface, but he had been afraid of some of his brother's words.
Now he felt great relief and safe again, his brother's tail was warm and had for as long as he'd ever known been a secure haven; and he pulled it further round him so that he was covered as he had been often as a small pup. Sesshoumaru felt Inuyasha's unspoken need for him and released his youki to surround his brother with the added reassurance of his Alpha status, reaffirmed by Inuyasha's actions and demeanour. Sesshoumaru spoke to his brother once more, sincerity clear in his voice;
"Ever since I took you from your mother's arms on the night you were born, you have been special to me; our souls comforted each other that night and on the dreadful days that followed. I cherish our bond Inuyasha, but it was made with you only; my brother is a hanyou, not a single entity either human or youkai...do not change."
There was silence for a few moments until a wave of youki greater than any other swept over both his sons and a proud Inu no Taishou came to usher them into the Palace where their mother waited for them.