Promises: Chapter Thirty-Seven

Disclaimer: Dragon Age and all assorted characters/places/etc belong to Bioware, not me.

Thankfully they wound up not having to deal with introductions that evening. After dinner had concluded, Lady Elsa made a beeline towards them, warding off others by exclaiming loudly about how tired they must all be after a long day on the road. As the seneschal had warned, the lady was not pleased when Nathaniel informed her of Hawke's quarters that first night after dinner and she verged on being insulted when the archer continued on to insist that his cousin always be accompanied either by himself or Fenris.

"It simply is not heard of," she protested. She drew a deep breath as though to expound upon her misgivings, but a look at Nathaniel's face was enough to stop her. "But I can see that you are going to be stubborn about this issue. Very well then. I will save my energy for turning your cousin into a proper young lady."

"Good luck," Nathaniel told her, a sardonic smile tugging at her lips. "Maker knows that my mother tried and failed."

"I suspect a lack of support from you and your fellow males might have contributed to such failure. You and your manservant may escort your cousin everywhere so long as you will not encourage misbehavior on her part. That means no taunting," the old lady added with a shake of her finger.

There wasn't much Nathaniel could say in response to that because he did like to bait the mageling. So he held his tongue and nodded his acquiescence, and that was that when it came to arranging to have Hawke always be with one of them, ostensibly for her own protection.

The castle at Ansburg was almost like a living creature, and it did not take long until both Hawke and Fenris were assimilated into its hectic schedule. Their first couple of days at the castle was filled with fitting. Nathaniel took the prudent course and commanded Fenris in front of everyone to guard his female cousin, stating rather loudly that he was beginning to get rusty for lack of archery practice. Such a notion was laughable, but Fenris was disciplined enough not to crack a grin.

He soon realized what misery fittings were. The archer had been right the day before when he warned Fenris that he didn't want to sit through them. Though he was not allowed in the room, he sat just outside the door. He could hear every word that passed between Hawke, the Lady Elsa, and the seamstress. Hawke wasn't very good at standing still—something that surprised Fenris because that was never a problem during battle—and so was often poked by needles.

"Ow!" Hawke cried for what must have been the hundredth time.

"Must you screech so, child?" Lady Elsa asked, her voice clearly conveying her exasperation. "It is hardly proper behavior for a young lady such as yourself."

"Well I hardly think that a proper fitting should include getting stabbed so often," Hawke retorted.

"That wouldn't happen if you just stopped moving about so much," was the old lady's reply. "I have to say that you seem to start fidgeting as soon as poor Amanda here picks up her needle."

"It's not my fault. I've been poked so often that I can't help but flinch once this blasted fitting starts again."

"Alfonsine! Watch your tongue!" Elsa said sharply. "Your cousin may have used such vulgar language around you, but that is not something you should repeat especially not in public."

"Let me guess. It's not proper. Well I used to think that it wasn't proper to go around and stab people repeatedly in broad daylight, but I guess I was wrong," Hawke sniped. "Besides I can hardly be blamed for my language after all the injuries I've suffered today."

"The young lady has no shortage of excuses," the seamstress murmured quietly. "I am sure that we can all be thankful that I am finished with this gown however."

"That is simply the best news I have heard all day. Are we done yet?" Hawke asked. Fenris silently prayed that they were. It was dull just to sit and listen to what was happening in that room. Of course, boredom was preferable to his thoughts wandering over to the last time he had heard Hawke cry out so often. The elven warrior gulped and then closed his eyes, silently willing himself not to think of things he could not have at the moment.

It didn't help.

"We are done with your gowns, child, but don't forget that I promised we would work on getting your corset to fit you better." Lady Elsa ignored Hawke's groan of despair. "I think that we need to see what we can do to make the boning work with your figure. I also think we can let out the laces a bit. I think we probably tied them too tight yesterday in our rush to get Alfonsine ready for dinner."

"Oh so you mean maybe I could breathe in it then?" Hawke asked with bated breath.

That only earned her a snort from the other women in the room. "It is not fitted properly if you can breathe freely. That being said, I did notice that you struggled overmuch just walking about and so we can do something about that," Elsa told her. "You should thank the Maker that you do not need help with your figure and so your laces do not need to be pulled completely tight."

That apparently did little to assuage the mageling's feelings for she heaved a sigh then and there, sounding most put out. It took the better part of the morning before Hawke's fittings were finished. Fenris stood at attention as he heard footsteps approaching the door. Lady Elsa exited first followed by Hawke and then the seamstress.

The mageling shot Fenris a look of derision as she passed by him "Aren't you supposed to be my bodyguard? You're not very good at it, are you, seeing how you just stood out here and let me be mauled in there," she told him snidely.

Fenris was taken aback. Hawke truly seemed to be in a poor mood. He didn't know just what exactly she thought he could have done. If he had tried to interfere, at best he would have been wildly unsuccessful while at worst he would have blown their cover.

"Alfonsine! Keep your chin up, and remember a lady should never slouch." Elsa's interruption was most welcomed by Fenris at first, but then she turned her critical eye on him. "You do seem to be well-versed on what your duties require," she remarked. "I did notice last night, however, that you wore your armor to dinner when it was not needed."

Fenris coughed nervously as he remembered Nathaniel's warning to him the day before. He did not want to join Hawke in her misery as one of Lady Elsa's pet projects, no matter how much he adored his mageling. "I have found that it helps to look intimidating in my chosen profession," he told the old lady evenly.

"I suppose that is true. It is possible though to look intimidating without being quite so spiky," Lady Elsa pointed out. She turned towards the seamstress. "Amanda, do be a dear and see what articles of clothing we can spare for Fenris here. I believe he is of a size with Langley. If you could have delivered whatever clothes you find to his quarters, that would be most appreciated. That way Alfonsine's bodyguard will be able to accompany to her and her cousin to dinner tonight without the armor."

Fenris winced. That didn't sound good. "I can hardly protect the young lady if I am not allowed the necessary tools, my lady," he protested.

"I never said that you couldn't bring your sword along," was the lady's airy reply. "That should be compromise enough."

The elf checked a sigh. He knew that there was no point in arguing any further because he could hardly expect to win against the Lady Elsa, not when she all but ran the castle. Hawke, however, chose that moment to try and add to his misery. "Shouldn't we arrange for a fitting for him too?" she asked, all too sweetly. "It wouldn't do to have his clothes fall off during dinner."

Fenris bit back a groan but fortunately he was saved by Lady Elsa. "No, we do not need a fitting for your bodyguard. The only time we subject men to such things is for weddings, and trust me, they protest enough then as it is. I hardly have enough energy to go around and arrange fittings for all the men of this castle. I would never be able to get anything done."

"Well it would make me feel better if I had someone to suffer along with me," Hawke mumbled under her breath. She let the topic drop, but Fenris felt positive that his mageling would raise it again the next time they were alone together. Which hopefully would be sooner rather than later, for while it seemed as though Hawke didn't appreciate Lady Elsa's efforts, Fenris certainly could. Whatever faults the old lady had, she definitely had a sense of style. The gown she had chosen today for Hawke highlighted the mageling's figure once more, emphasizing all of her tempting curves. Of course, that made him long for this blasted job to be over already. He had considered going over to visit Hawke in her room last night, but he had decided against it after learning that the castle sometimes had roving patrols. Getting caught coming out of Hawke's room would have all sorts of nasty consequences.

"In any event, now that we have you properly outfitted, I daresay it is high time for us to access your domestic skills," Lady Elsa announced, rousing Fenris from his thoughts.

"Domestic skills?" Hawke perked up. "You mean like cooking? Perhaps this is a bit immodest but I do make an excellent turnip soup if I do say so myself."

The lady stopped dead in her tracks. She slowly turned around and then looked at the mageling. The old woman sighed softly upon realizing that Hawke wasn't trying to be funny. "Your mother allowed you in the kitchen to cook? On a regular basis?"

"Oh I wouldn't say on a regular basis," Hawke replied. "I always wanted to spend more time in there than I was allowed."

"I see." The lady tilted her head to one side as she continued questioning Hawke. "I don't suppose that you were ever allowed to plan dinner?"

"Well when I cooked, I would decide what was on the table of course," Hawke answered.

"That isn't quite what I meant. I meant did you ever decide what courses to serve at a large dinner with guests?" Hawke shook her head no. "How about planning the seating layout and determining who should sit next to whom?

"No," said Hawke. "Honestly we very rarely had guests over," she went on. Though her intent was to keep up their disguise, Fenris got the feeling that she was telling nothing but the truth. A family of apostates wouldn't want guests over very often for fear of being caught. Still Hawke had had a loving childhood. He had to wonder if that contributed to Hawke being so much better balanced than any other mage he had ever dealt with.

"In that case, I guess there wouldn't have been many opportunities for you to practice such duties. While I can understand that your mother wanted nothing to go wrong on those rare occasions when you had guests, still she should have given you a chance to plan a dinner on your own. That being said, it is not too difficult to make seating arrangements, not if you have a good grasp of the basics of polite society." Lady Elsa led them away towards the center of the castle and to the large sitting room that served as her office. Hawke followed her inside the room without question while Fenris hung back, not certain if he should do so as well. A wave of the lady's hand, however, told him that he was allowed inside.

He stood beside the door as both the women took seats. The lady rang for tea. Rather than letting the servant pour the tea for them, however, she sent the servant away and then directed Hawke to pour them each a cup. Fenris supposed that Hawke's tea skills weren't a complete disaster given that she didn't break anything and actually managed to get most of the tea into the cups, but the expression on the lady's face made it clear that she thought otherwise.

"Let me guess," Elsa said after Hawke had gingerly pushed a cup of tea her way. "Your mother didn't often sit down and have tea with you, did she?" She rubbed her fingers against her temples as though trying to ward off a headache. "You do not need to answer that, child. I think I already know what your response would be. Never mind that. Let us move on."

The lady then proceeded to quiz Hawke on the various noble families of the Free Marches. Surprisingly enough she was able to answer some of the questions, but she was absolutely hopeless when it came to remembering titles. By now, Lady Elsa's frustration was quite apparent and was starting to affect even Hawke.

"Well how should I know that you're supposed to a call the Viscount of Kirkwall 'your Grace'?" she asked snippily. "It's not as though we have viscounts in Ferelden," she pointed out.

"Very well then. I will admit that you have a valid point," Lady Elsa said. "You knew the families well enough that I thought you would have learned about the titles too. Your grasp of the Fereldan nobility should be much better, yes? How should you refer to a teyrn?"

"Um…your lordship?" Hawke guessed.

"No," the lady said flatly. "That might work for a bann or even an arl, but not for a teyrn." She stood up, her patience clearly at an end. "I hate to say this, but it seems that you do not even have a decent understanding of the basics. I am certain that you must have enjoyed your childhood. Nathaniel said that you were more or less allowed to run amuck with him and your other cousins. However the time has come for you to leave your childhood behind, Alfonsine, and prepare for the rest of your life. I could arrange for a marriage for you right now, given how lovely you are, but I'm afraid that at best, you would be mocked behind your back for your lack of manners and at worst, your husband would keep you confined so that you wouldn't be a black mark upon his family name."

Hawke wrinkled her nose. "I am not sure what my cousin told you but I assure you, my lady, I did not come here seeking a husband." She quickly glanced over at Fenris, who had curled his hands into fists at the mere mention of finding Hawke a husband amongst the nobles here. Though that glance was fleeting, it calmed Fenris down and allowed him to relax. Hawke was his, and at least his mageling knew it.

The old lady smiled kindly down at Hawke. "I am positive that you didn't. If I were you, I would prefer to marry a Fereldan lad and not have to leave my homeland. I will have to write to your mother and your aunt at a later date to see if that is possible," she said with a vague gesture of her hand. "Either way, I still intend to remedy your lack of an education befitting a young lady of your station and beauty. Let us go to the library."

The library wasn't too far from Lady Elsa's sitting room. Once they were there, the lady commanded Hawke to take a seat. Then she set about gathering several tomes and depositing each of them on the table before Hawke. "There," she said after she had placed all the books in front of the mageling. "That should be a good start for you to learn about the history of the noble families of both the Free Marches and Ferelden."

Hawke's eyes were wide as she looked at all the large tomes in front of her. "I…I love to read, my lady, but surely you can't expect me to read all of these in one day," she protested.

"I don't. I do expect you to make decent progress on getting through them though. Mark your place when you are finished tonight, and I shall quiz you tomorrow morning on what you have read." The lady aimed her next words at Fenris. "I am afraid that the rest of your afternoon may be a bit dull, watching over my charge as she reads. If it helps, you are welcome to partake in the knowledge gathered here as well. Now if you both will excuse me, I must be off. I will fetch you when it is time to get ready for dinner."

The lady's offer was generous as Fenris knew that there were not many nobles who would give a servant free rein in a library, especially one with as many books as this one. However while Fenris appreciated Lady Elsa's kindness, he couldn't exactly take advantage of it. He had not ever learned to read for slaves weren't taught to in Tevinter, and so books were useless to him. Instead Fenris settled back and watched as the mageling as she heaved a sigh and opened the first book in front of her.

He couldn't help but feel a little jealous that reading was as easy as breathing to Hawke. Though her background was poor, she had still learned to read. It was rather ironic that for the most part he was more at ease in the castle than she was. He had been subjected to the pomp and circumstance that tended to surrounded the nobility of all lands in his position as a bodyguard to one of the most ambitious magisters in Tevinter. Hawke, on the other hand, had grown up on a farm and it was beginning to show just how ill-suited she was to the soft living of the castle. Though Hawke obviously deserved someone who could give her a life of luxury, he rather thought that given her behavior of the last couple days that she wouldn't enjoy such a thing.

Fenris smiled at that thought. It made him feel warm to know that while she deserved a man who could give her so much more than him, she would be happier with a lot less. He didn't deserve her but at least she wanted him. That was something indeed.

As was his wont, Fenris took note of their surroundings while the mageling continued her studies. He ignored the occasional scoffing remark she would make under her breath in favor of mapping out the library. The library was large, and there were several rows of bookcases. Furthermore the library was spotted with nooks and crannies, perfect in case someone was seeking a bit of solitude for their reading. Not that anyone needed to look far for such solitude because no one was in the library except for them. Fenris wondered if the inhabitants of the castle usually avoided this room or if this was an uncommon occurrence.

A rather loud snort from Hawke directed his attention at his mageling once more. This time, however, his eyes lingered on her form. The dress she was wearing today clung to her, accenting just how delectable his Hawke was. Fenris' gaze circled around the library yet again. They were the only ones in the library, which made this the first time in what seemed like years that they were alone together. He didn't know when they would get another chance like this. The only question that remained was how best to take advantage of their solitude.

There was a certain charm to the notion of hoisting Hawke on to the table and taking her then and there. Certainly that would be the quickest way, and while there wouldn't be much time for exploration and foreplay the first time around, the way Fenris was feeling, seconds wouldn't be enough. However, the table Hawke was sitting at was in front of the door and so if anyone entered, that would completely ruin the mood. They would also possibly have to fight their way out of the castle, as someone might assume the worst and raise the hue and cry against him, but that was the least of his worries. Fenris was certain that they would be able to make good their escape; unfortunately he was just as certain that if they were interrupted, they would be too caught up with getting safely away to even think about doing anything else for quite some time.

His eyes cut back over at one particularly dark nook towards the back of the library. That looked to be the best bet when it came to a relatively safe place to shag Hawke. It was out of the way enough that they could hear anyone coming. He would have to get Hawke there—though the idea of carrying her over there like a sack of potatoes had its appeal—but on the plus side, luring Hawke away from her studies and into the corner could count as foreplay. Or at least he could assess whether Hawke wanted him as much as he wanted her, and from there decide whether any additional enticement was needed on his part. He was rather hoping not. Fenris felt as though he had been hard for his mageling for days, and he didn't know how much longer he could hold out.

"Fenris!" Hawke's whine distracted the elven warrior from his plans. "I'm bored," the mageling proclaimed. She let her book fall on to the table with a thump. "This might just be the dullest book in existence."

"Is that so?" The mageling's complaints were like music to Fenris' ears. Even if Hawke didn't have the same sort of naughty thoughts running through her head, at least she wouldn't need too much convincing to set her books aside in favor of more pleasurable activities.

"Yes. I know what you're thinking—that I can't possibly be able to make that assessment because I've not read every other book in existence. But I have read more than a few and they've all been better than this dry rot." She sighed. "Waste of paper, that's what this book is. Who cares about who's related to who in the Free Marches?"

"That may be a dry topic, but knowing about such connections can give insight into a particular political climate," Fenris said mildly. He inwardly smirked. He knew that his answer wouldn't satisfy Hawke, and if anything, would only increase her frustration with the whole thing.

"Oh? You mean if I keep on reading I'll eventually learn who has blood mages in their family? Because that would be dead useful when it comes to our current job," Hawke said through gritted teeth.

"Such dark secrets are rarely recorded. Families usually arrange to have them swept under the carpet," Fenris admitted.

"Yes. That's exactly why this is a waste of time!" Hawke hung her head. "Not that I'd ever convince Lady Elsa about that. Don't get me wrong, she does seem to be a nice lady and all, but her idea of being a proper lady seems to be too much like my mother's." The mageling shuddered.

"Really?" That surprised Fenris. Hawke had always described herself as a country girl and so it seemed out of place for her mother to know about noble ideals regarding maidens.

"Mother probably would love Lady Elsa for stuffing me not only into a gown but into that blasted corset. Mother is an Amell of Kirkwall, and so she grew up thinking that is the right way to dress a young lady. Thankfully she couldn't subject me to such things as then we would stick out in Lothering even more than we did already."

Fenris filed away the fact that Hawke's mother was of noble origin for later reference. He had a more pressing task at hand to deal with and preferably before he had to take himself in hand.

"But do you know what would make this book much more exciting?" Hawke asked, interrupting his thoughts once more. "If you would read it to me instead."

At those words, Fenris blanched. He immediately cast his plans aside. Hawke's notion was…impossible. He didn't want to tell her that it was such. He didn't want to tell her that he could not read. Just the thought of how she would look at him after that revelation—at best with pity and disappointment while at worst with complete revulsion—was enough to make him quaver. "Somehow I doubt that," Fenris said slowly. "You did call it the dullest book in the world. That makes me think that nothing could make it exciting for you."

"Well maybe not exciting. It would be interesting though to listen to the timbre of your voice." Hawke closed her eyes and sighed happily. "Have I ever mentioned how much I love it?"

The tips of his ears were burning, and he could feel a light blush settling on his cheeks. He coughed nervously once, then twice. "You might have mentioned that on occasion," he said.

"Evidently I should mention it more often. You're absolutely charming when you're embarrassed. That makes it so fun to pay you compliments."

"I'm not embarrassed," Fenris protested.

Hawke arched an eyebrow up at him, which somehow only made him want her more. That should have been impossible but there it was. Blast it all, it was hard not to toss caution to the winds and take her already. That was the problem with going so long without being able to have sex with Hawke. The longer he went without, the more he longed for her. Looking back, he really should have made it clear to their companion that he and Hawke needed their private time together. It would have been the practical thing to do. They had carefully planned every other aspect to their farce, and so he should have thought about including this aspect as well. If Fenris had, the he wouldn't be suffering from lack of Hawke the way he was at the moment. However thinking about what he should have done wouldn't change things. Instead it was better to concentrate on getting Hawke to the nook he had spotted—even if he did wind up carrying her like a sack of potatoes—and having his wicked way with her.

Just as Fenris took a step towards his Hawke, however, the door to the library swung open. "Ah there you are!" said the Howe, spotting them right away after entering the room. He didn't waste any time heading their way. "And look, you're even doing what you're supposed to be doing," he stated, addressing those words to Hawke. "Will wonders never cease?"

"Hearing you say that makes me want to read this even less. Congratulations. I didn't think it was possible for me to have less enthusiasm," Hawke told him, aspersion coloring her voice.

Meanwhile Fenris mentally cursed both himself for dawdling so long and the idiot archer for interfering yet again with the elf's plans. Fenris was beginning to suspect that such behavior was intentional on Nathaniel's part. Because the archer had been unlucky in love, he wanted to spread his misery around.

"I ran into Lady Elsa during archery practice." Nathaniel paused to reconsider his words. "Actually, that's not entirely accurate. In truth, she hunted me down to tell me the news of your progress."

Hawke brightened up at that comment. "My progress? Really? And here I thought she was far more likely to complain that there was none."

"No, instead she complained about how little progress she had made with you," the archer said dryly. Hawke crinkled up her nose and stuck her tongue out at him, but he ignored that gesture. "She thinks that you should have been sent away to her tender graces ages ago. She more or less accused my family of allowing you to run around like a little hooligan." He shrugged his shoulders. "I didn't think it was wise to deny anything because I didn't know what you might have told her of your life in Ferelden. So I just smiled and nodded my head, and when I could get a word in edgewise, I asked what her plans were for you."

"I would hope that she is thinking of giving up and sending me back to Ferelden, but that stupid grin on your face tells me otherwise."

"If you keep speaking like that, I might start to believe that I'm not your favorite cousin any more," was Nathaniel's response. His grin only grew larger at Hawke's evident misery. "And no, she's not giving up on you. In fact, she is even more determined to do right by you because you have been let down by so many others in your life."

"Oh joy." If looks could kill, the glare Hawke was directing at the archer would have been the end of him. That would have been fine by Fenris as he was quickly losing patience with the man. The warrior shifted back and forth on his feet uncomfortably. He really wished that the Howe would get to his blighted point and then leave them alone before another interruption came along.

"Needless to say, she believes it is best to go back to the basics for you. She plans to encourage you to study by letting you know that she plans to formally present you at court after you have shown sufficient improvement." The archer positively bounced up and down, looking merrier than Fenris had ever seen him. "Which is great for our plans since that would include a formal introduction to the margrave."

"Which I think is wholly unnecessary. I watched him closely at dinner last night, and he seems to be a man in complete control of his faculties," Hawke told Nathaniel flatly. "I doubt that my meeting him face-to-face will change that assessment."

"But it is possible," Nathaniel pressed her.

"I wouldn't rule that out, but it is highly unlikely." Hawke sighed and bit her lip. "I guess it shouldn't surprise me thought that you're not willing to listen to reason however."

The archer shook his head. "Far from it. I am willing to admit that you as well as Fenris have more expertise than I in such matters. Fortunately for us, there is another benefit to Lady Elsa's decision to take your education in hand, and that is the fact that there is only one other maiden receiving such personalized attention from her. That is her granddaughter, of course, who is also the margrave's daughter," Nathaniel explained. "If blood magic is not the reason behind the margrave's surprising support of Carrow and his crew, perhaps his daughter can provide some illumination on that subject."

"If nothing else, at least she can suffer with me," Hawke mumbled.

"I doubt she will suffer as much as you," Nathaniel blithely told her. "Lady Eleanor has been trained in all the social graces by both her mother and grandmother ever since she could walk. If anything, Lady Elsa is most likely hoping that she will be a good influence on you."

"Lovely. That makes me feel so much better," the mageling remarked. She looked over at Fenris mournfully, a brief flash of longing hovering over her features. "I hope that is all the good news you have to share with us because the Maker knows I can't take any more."

"That's it."

"Good. Consider yourself dismissed then," Hawke said haughtily, waving a hand in his general direction.

That did little to dampen the archer's good mood. He sketched a jaunty bow in Hawke's direction and then turned around to exit the library. Fenris was relieved to see the last of him, hoping that he would finally be able to get a bit of relief once he was alone with Hawke again, but his hopes were soon crushed. On Nathaniel's heels was no other than Lady Elsa, coming to check on Hawke's progress before insisting that the mageling return to her room in order to could get ready for dinner.

Hawke immediately leapt up from her seat and handed the book she had been reading over to the old lady. The mageling then proceeded to stand next to Fenris while Lady Elsa made careful note of how far the mageling had read. While the lady was thus occupied, Hawke brushed her fingers against Fenris' hand. He almost started at the fleeting sensation of her skin pressed against his. Her touch was gone too soon as a folded piece of paper dropped into his hands. Fenris carefully tucked the piece of paper away while holding back a sigh. Hawke's touch had done little to alleviate the tension he felt; if anything, her touch had only increased it.

There were times, Fenris reflected, that it seemed as though the whole world was against him.

Author's note: Thanks for reading! I hope you liked this chapter. As for everyone who has been leaving reviews-you all are the best. :D Seriously. Hearing (or rather reading, I guess) that people like reading this fic makes my day.