Chapter 7
Siniva tossed and turned in bed for a while, hoping to fall asleep. It should have come to her easily after all she had done that day, but it evaded her.
She got up out of bed and walked down toe the common room, hopefully find something to distract her ever-wandering nocturnal mind and soon fall asleep.
"Siniva?"
"Dad," Siniva started, turning to face him. "I can't sleep. I just need to know more, ever since you showed me about Caleb and you..."
"If you're ready to know, come with me." Snape said, opening his office door wider.
Siniva walked into the office, strands of hair falling around her face as she went.
The Pensieve still sat on the desk, smooth, beautiful, memory-revealing stone.
"I collected this memory around the same time I collected one from Caleb Rowan." Snape started, holding a vial to the light. "I would have to say it's dated sometime after you were born, but I'm not sure exactly when. It came from Orla Rowan-"
"My grandmother." Siniva said quietly.
Snape nodded and tipped the memory into the Pensieve.
Siniva leaned forward and fell back into the Rowan home.
"Caleb, Gabriel, come quickly!"
The voice was bubbly and carried a large amount of joy.
"It's a girl!"
A young mediwitch stood in the room, attending to the wary woman laying in bed, whose lilium hair draped around her face like sheets of curled silk.
The young woman had no desire to speak, it seemed, as she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep as her younger brother and father entered the room.
"Venia- oh, she's out cold." Caleb said.
"Your sister has had a very long day." Orla told him, smiling down at her granddaughter in her arms.
"She'll come around. She can't sleep forever." Gabriel said.
"We'll let her get some rest, come on. We'll move into the sitting room." Orla said.
She paused and turned to the mediwitch.
"Astrid, we'll leave Venia with you, for now. If she wakes up, please call us back in."
The young mediwitch nodded.
Subjects of portraits moved from frame to frame, whispering excitedly to each other. The portraits of Orla and Gabriel celebrated together; the portrait of Caleb went to chat about the baby with portraits of cousins; the portrait of Venia smiled and tossed primrose petals in the air.
It appeared that the portrait was happier about the baby than the actual Venia was. Other than her appearance, no aspect of the portrait mirrored the real Venia.
Siniva watched the portraits for a while before she turned to look at the people in the room.
"Mrs. Rowan, Mr. Rowan, she's asking for you." the mediwitch said, tapping lightly on the doorway to announce her presence.
Orla and Gabriel hastily made their way back to Venia's room, Caleb following behind after a moment's consideration.
"How are you feeling?" Orla asked, sitting at her daughter's bedside.
"Painful and exhausted." Venia stated.
"That tends to be the case after childbirth." Orla told her.
"Oh, don't remind me." Venia said, rolling her eyes. "I wish I could forget about that night, mother."
Caleb stood in the doorway, holding the sleeping baby, silent.
"Sometimes there are things we just can't forget, dear." Orla said.
"I wish I had never even gone to the Three Broomsticks that night in the first place." Venia said.
Rolling off her tongue, the words were venomous.
"Why did you go, then?" Orla wondered.
"I was desperate, I was stupid. It's as simple as that." Venia said. "And now I've got to deal with the consequences."
"So this is when she decided she didn't want me?" Siniva asked.
"Yes." Snape told her.
"No," Caleb interjected. "You don't. Obviously, you don't want to be a mother, so both of you would be better off if her father raised her."
Venia's lips twitched slightly.
"Good to know." she said quietly.
Siniva stared down at the Pensieve slightly taken aback. She had never known exactly when Venia decided to get rid of her. Now that she did, it was clear how much she disliked her.
"I think I'll go to bed, now..." Siniva said.
Everything felt surreal as she slipped below consciousness. In sleep, she was in Orla Rowan's memory again, listening to the same conversation as she had done in the Pensieve. Venia's voice sounded distorted and menacing, but the rest of the family spoke with clear tones, sometimes sad or- in Caleb's case- angry, but reasoning.
And just like that, she was waking up to rays of green, watery sunlight through the windows, courtesy of the sun's reflection off of the Black Lake.
Siniva tried to forget the dream and, for that matter, the memory itself as she got dressed and silently left the dormitory.
Alone, she walked to the Great Hall, sat in thought for a while and left before the crowd swelled.
Later that day, as she sat in Charms, it was easy to focus on the lesson, at first. But, sure enough, her focus wandered back to her family- grandmother, grandfather, uncle- and why she had never met any of them. It was easy to understand that none of them were close to her father- Venia never formally introduced any of them after one night together and a few pithy encounters- but they all seemed to be decent people and she wondered about them.
"Miss Snape, your parchment-" Professor Flitwick squeaked.
Siniva snapped back into the moment of class to see that her notes had nearly gone out the window. She snatched them out of the air and placed them back on her desk, earning a few awkward glances and some snide giggles from boys across the room.
"That's enough," Professor Flitwick told them. "Now, get back to your work, gentlemen."
The boys returned to their own attempts to make some feathers drift upward.
"That's it, very well." Professor Flitwick commented, milling about the room.
Siniva aimed her wand at her feather and practiced 'Wingardium Leviosa' for a while. If only she could stop worrying for now.
Lunch was a no-go. Siniva sat at the table next to Draco and his girlfriend, Thorn Rowle, plus Crabbe, Goyle, Nott and Pansy, who seemed to be watching the three of them with mild interest. Blaise watched Pansy from across the table and it seemed like there was something going on there.
Siniva left the Great Hall almost as soon as she had sat down- to get away from the prying questions of fellow first years- and returned to the Common Room, hoping for some quiet time to think.
Where were her grandparents and uncle now? Would they ever want to meet her? Had they ever tried to meet her? Did they know her name? Did they even remember her?
Maybe they would, maybe they wouldn't. Whatever the case, Venia had never cared about her and probably didn't care whether or not her family did.
There were two ways that Siniva could find out what she wanted to know, but neither way was foolproof.
The first would be to go to her father and look into his mind; the problem with that was that he was a fantastic Occlumens.
The second would be to look into the Pensieve at all her father's memories that she could, until she found the right one; the problem with that was the fact that he had so many memories stored and it could take far too long to find the right one.
But a third option had just occurred to her. It was the most blunt of them all; ask her father exactly what she wanted to know.
He had never lied to her and would only hide information until she was ready to hear it. Maybe this was the easiest way to get her answers.
Siniva sat in the Common Room, pondering how to go about this. Get right to it or approach it slowly.
The rest of the Slytherins migrated into the Common Room over the next half hour in small clusters.
Siniva felt completely invisible, until a large group of fifth years- including Draco and Thorn- gathered by her.
"Are you okay?" Thorn asked.
"You haven't eaten anything and you haven't spoken to anyone all day." Draco said.
"Did you get a T on a test?" Goyle wondered.
"I did..." Crabbe admitted.
"Not you, moron." Nott told him, thumping him on the side of the head.
"I'm fine, really." Siniva said. "Just thinking about-"
Should she tell them or not? It wouldn't affect any of them. This was really just a family matter, not particularly a lighthearted one.
"It's not important." Siniva said hurriedly, standing to leave.
"So you're sure you didn't get a T on a test?" Goyle asked again.
"I just told you I did." Crabbe said.
"Again, not you, moron." Nott repeated.
Siniva walked up to her dormitory and sat on her bed, a quill in her hand so she could write down everything she wanted to know about her family. All she knew now was their relation to her, what they looked like and that uncle Caleb moved away to start a family and get away from his sister. She had guessed that they were all nice people, from the happiness they showed when she was born, how uncle Caleb had her best interest in mind when he noted that Siniva would be better off with her father and how he seemed surprised when Venia actually went with it, concerned for Siniva's safety when she was removed from the home.
There was so much she wanted to know, but would she get all the answers? Would she even get any?
She was so wrapped up in writing down her thoughts that she fell asleep well past her normal hour. She dropped her quill as she fell into unconsciousness again, dreaming about her two grandparents and uncle again.
It all looked so vivid, it felt like being in someone's memory. She looked up at the cranberry and grey-papered walls with gold swirls accenting the corners, the four portraits- one of which she ignored- the elder couple and the young man.
But it all faded as she drifted back into consciousness, lying on the floor, the quill next to her face smudging her forehead with black ink.
Siniva stood up, gathered her quill and parchment, rubbing her forehead to remove the ink. It faded after a while, but her forehead was still a little ashen.
She went downstairs earlier than usual and seemed to be the first one to the Common Room. But she remembered the parchment she had left upstairs- sprawled out on the floor next to her bed- on which she had written everything she most wanted to know about her past and all that led up to her existence.
She couldn't remember everything off the top of her head, but there were some things she had been thinking about for a very long time.
Siniva ran back up to the dormitory to get the parchment and on her way back down, missed a few steps-