A/N: So sorry for taking so long to update. Life has been so busy. I was gifted a weekend alone with my husband, had new clients at work, did lots of research for this chapter and got some major writers block too and not knpwing which path to take here.
Super long for you and I could have split it up but I left it at the crazy length of almost 14,000 words for those of you who liked long chapters.
Prepare for a rollercoaster of emotions in this one...so just have faith.
Special thanks to scarlett2112 for all the medical advice I needed for this chapter and others.
Pain will lead to healing...in just might get darkest before the dawn.
I woke up suddenly, reacting to a sound of some kind close by. My tired and half-lidded eyes flew wide open before narrowing as my ears perked up to the dull rush of water running.
The pillow under my head crinkled as I turned, sending strands of my raven hair across my forehead and into my eyes. I really needed to get a haircut, my very unfocused brain spat out at that very inopportune time.
I felt the sheet beside me, but I couldn't feel the warmth of her body anywhere nearby.
"Elena?" I called out into the dark room. It was late. Possibly the middle of the night already. And blinking to focus on what I was hearing, a soft muffled cry came from the bathroom.
I sat up fast, knowing the sound of my girl anywhere and that any cry from her I would leap mountains to make sure she was okay. I still was so on edge, not letting myself believe that we were actually safe and that the nightmare on the island was over.
Climbing as fast as I could out of the bed, without ripping out any tubes or wires attached to me I pulled the IV along. My bare feet moved quickly around the chair and tray tables in the room as I headed to the bathroom.
The sounds of water were still clear and louder than a faucet on. It was more likely the shower running. But with all the bandaged wounds we had, we had opted not to shower, so I was confused as to why she might be in there.
"Elena?" I called again and knocked on the door. No answer.
"Baby, are you okay?" Again I heard nothing and then began to worry and hoped she was alright with me coming in to check on her.
Pulling the door open I grabbed for a couple towels on the shelf above the toilet to help her dry off before turning toward the shower.
Immediately I saw streaks of red on the white, nearly see through curtain…
My heart jumped in my chest, as my body froze for a second taking in the scene I walked into. The towels fell from my hands.
Part of me was scared to look further, terrified I could find her there having given up and wanting to die...cutting herself to end it. But the other part of me desperately needed to know she was alive. That I could trust in our love and that she wouldn't just leave me...not like that.
I could see the shadow of a figure near the tiled floor past the curtain and I let out a breath as I clearly saw she was moving. Thank God!
"Elena?!" I called her name again, my voice a shallow gasp in the fear I felt not knowing if she was alive a moment ago. "I can see blood and I'm worried about you. I'm moving the curtain back just to check on you. If you don't want me here then just say so...okay?"
I listened and heard no objections, hoping her silence meant she was again granting me permission. I slowly pulled the curtain back and fought the urge to gasp out in shock as I nearly fell against the wall beside me.
My beautiful girl was curled up in the fetal position, rocking on her heels and possibly naked from what I could tell. Her skin looked covered in blood, a pool of red trickling water circled around her huddled body…
In half a second I had ripped out the tubing for my I.V., went under the spray and sunk to my knees, soaking my pants instantly while my panicked eyes searched for where the blood was coming from. I palmed her wrist gently and saw the bandages gone, even her splint for her wrist was laying on the shower floor. But thankfully no blood was dripping from her healing wounds from the handcuffs.
Then why was there so much blood? From where?
She pulled her good arm back from me without even looking up. Her other bandages were strewn all over the tiled floor. The shirt I had given her to wear to bed was in pieces and her lacy bra and black underwear were also torn and laying beside her shivering and I now realized, naked body.
I sucked in my breath, my voice trembling just like I could see her body was. "God, baby. What happened?" I begged her.
I fucking needed to know how we could have gone from sleeping so peacefully in each others arms to her curled up naked in the shower, covered in blood.
She was shaking more and I only then took notice of the water feeling nearly cold coming from the shower head. My body finally reacted to cover her, despite the fog in my head and I pulled my t-shirt off fast and tried to help her into it, even though it was wet now too. However she pulled away and curled more into the wall, not allowing me to put it over her, so I settled for draping it on her shoulders.
Reaching up I turned the water to a more comfortable setting too, hoping it would help her warm up, even if she didn't want me touching her. In my shock of seeing her like this I had not even been aware of how cold the water had been falling down on me when I stepped in.
I sunk back down and moved closer. Would she pull away from me? Should I reach out to her?
I glanced over to the other wall by the sink and saw the pull cord and red call bell to alert the nurses of any emergency. My head hurt more in my worry and fear but also that I knew I needed to do the right thing. She needed help and maybe I couldn't give it to her. Maybe she needed a professional.
She was tucked up so tight I still could not tell where the blood was coming from more than seeing more red slipping likely from her cuts on her belly and onto the floor.
"Elena, baby. It's Damon." My voice cracked as I spoke. My hand shook as I clenched it at my side, aching to pull her into my arms. She didn't lift her head from where it was leaning against her knees, her hair splayed out around her bare legs. I scooted closer on the smooth floor, seeing the blood running along my cotton pants and down the drain, only to have more take its place a second later.
"Baby, do you remember me? Damon...your fiance. Can you show me your ring baby? I made you a ring. Do you remember?" I held out my hand in front of me, hoping she would lift her head so I could show her my ring.
The water was running in trails down my face, soaking my hair and low hanging pajama pants as I knelt beside her. I looked back at the call button. "Elena, should I get the nur..."
"No!" I heard her muffled voice snap at me before I even finished my sentence. "Please...I'm scared...no one, nothing feels safe...just you."
Inhaling sharply, my shoulder sunk with relief hearing her say she did still feel safe with me. At least she could tell me that. But the painful emptiness in her voice sent a shiver down my spine.
"Okay, okay Elena. Just me...I won't call her, I promise," I said softly, backing up away from her more, my hands up away from her body, just in case she didn't want me too close. "But please tell me why you are bleeding? Please?"
It took so much strength to move away from her rather than pull her in closer to me. She needed comfort, that much was clear but I had no idea what she felt was safe with me at all right now.
I knew no one had snuck in the room and hurt her more. I didn't sleep that deeply. But she looked like rape victims I had seen before, curled into themselves and rocking like a child, without caring how they were dressed or not. As if they were not even in their own body.
It was heartbreaking to see the woman I loved the most in the world looking like those victims.
I tried once more to even get her to see me, using the softest most soothing voice I could. "Lena, please look at me. Show me where you are bleeding. Please baby. I want to help you," I pleaded trying to stay calm when I was so scared how much blood she might have lost already. It was still steadily running down the floor and down the drain from under her body.
Finally her head started to lift from her lap and it felt like it took forever for her beautiful chocolate eyes to meet mine. She looked so pale, her skin whiter than normal in the dim light, her lips nearly blue from the cold.
Shit. How long had she been in there?
Her eyes were squinted in pain and her lip quivered as she looked to be trying to say something. "I remember. You...you love me?" her small voice questioned timidly.
I let out a deep breath I had not realized I was holding and tentatively smiled at her. "Yes," I breathed out. "Yes baby I love you. I would do anything to help you right now. What do you need?"
Elena looked so forlornly up at me, her eyes staring deep in mine. Her hand timidly reached out till she held my face in her palm and my head leaned into it, my eyes falling shut at the flood of relief I felt at her touch.
"I love you too...Damon...so much," she whispered.
God, it felt so good to hear that.
Her voice trembled more as she stroked down my cheek gently. "I need you…I can't get it off...I tried." She let out a small sob. "It won't come off..."
My brows furrowed at that as I opened my eyes again. Get it off? "I'll help you baby. Get what off? Tell me and I'll do it."
She pulled back from holding my cheek and crossed her arms over her bare chest, hugging herself again. "Please, make it go away, please." She whimpered almost soundlessly, her cries being partially masked by the water falling down on us.
My eyes darted back and forth, scanning her body and trying to figure out what she was talking about. She wasn't wearing anything, only one thing was touching her...my shirt draped over her back. So I slowly slipped it off her to fall in a wet heap behind her.
But she started shaking her head and I knew that wasn't it. Was it the water? She wanted me to turn off the water?
"Get it off me Damon!" she screamed at me, startling me from how quietly she had spoken before. She jumped to her feet, grabbing a piece of fabric and I nearly fell back from her fast movements as she was rubbing roughly on her stomach.
I pushed myself to standing as well, feeling slightly dizzy maybe from how fast I moved and ran my hands down her arms, hoping she wouldn't pull away from me.
I moved her hands back from her belly, ever so slowly…
She resisted, still trying to frantically wipe up and down over her naked stomach with the cloth in her hand. That was when I saw how much she must have been rubbing the piece of her torn shirt over her wounds before I had woken up.
They looked raw...each letter was bright red with fresh blood that fell down her body.
Looking higher, her dark wet hair mostly covered her bare breasts but I could see that she had scraped at the light cuts that he had made even there and on her neck too. The blood was dripping in narrow paths all down her body.
I held her hand back gently, preventing her from deepening the wounds more, feeling as broken as she was, now that I understood what she was doing.
She wanted the marks gone.
Kai's name. Anywhere he cut her.
Of course.
I shook my head wondering why I wasn't thinking straight enough. I bent back down and grabbed up the wet shirt, ringing it out and, pressing it to the wounds. I should have known instantly what she was talking about but my brain felt so fried from all we had been though that it felt like I was thinking in slow motion. My head was still pounding too, the dull ache just damn unrelenting.
"Get it off! I can't have lost my body too...I can't." Her eyes were so wide and tear-filled as she was gasping now as she raked the wet piece of t-shirt over the cuts again and again till I grabbed her hand gently. I quickly tied the shirt around her chest to drape down the front of her body. She pushed me away from pulling it over her head again so I thought this was at least something else I could do to cover her.
"I already lost Jeremy and Anna and their baby; my little niece or nephew before they were even born!" she cried out, fighting my grip to scrape at her skin more. "And mom and dad! All those marines that died for us right in front of me...and Stefan!
Damon you lost your only brother! He was there for me and I could see how badly he wanted to get me to you. He could see how much I loved you! I knew how much he loved you too!"
I tried to calm her down, running my hands along her arms, but I was breaking inside too at the anguish in her words. I still didn't want to believe Stefan was gone and yet everything else she said was painfully true.
"God Damon! I can't take anymore loss! I can't lose you too!"
"You won't!" I said emphatically. I knew that without a doubt.
Maybe I knew nothing else..but she had me till I breathed my last on this earth. No matter what we had to fight though to stay together and find our way back from this hell.
"You won't lose me baby, I promise you." Tears welled up in my eyes as I clasped her hands in mine.
"I'm ugly!" she stated, like it was damn fact. "Why would you even want me? And broken and I have no family to share with you and nothing to offer you. I'm quitting my job, I hate my apartment that isn't even mine and full of memories of nothing but death. All I have his Ian. I'm a mess and scared of everything that moves and..."
I couldn't let her keep going and tear herself more apart.
Grabbing her face in my hands as tenderly as I could, I held her gaze. "You are everything to me Elena! You are none of those things. You will never be ugly to me and we can heal and help each other. I want you more than anything in this fucked up world baby!
Broken just means it will take time to come back together, whether you are the same person or not from this whole experience I will love you through everything, in spite of everything, because of everything! There is nothing you could do or look like that would make me stop loving you!"
I saw her staring intently at me, listening, taking in my almost angry tone. It looked like I was reaching her, even a little, so I kept going. "Ian is your only family...then he is mine too. He saved your life that night when you wanted to die, just like you saved him. I will love that cat and buy him the biggest damn cat tree house!" I tried to smile thinking about that but still hearing so much pain in all her declarations was tearing me apart inside.
"You are my family and I want to have a family with you too; a baby in that beautiful belly of yours. Our baby," I murmured softly.
Cautiously I moved my hand down, I slid it under the wet fabric of the shirt on her. I swallowed my own fear and pain and gently ran my palm over her bare stomach, over top of the cuts and torn skin.
I knew she needed to see me not react to the what Kai did. I had barely held it together before and ended up crying against her chest and her holding me till I fell asleep.
It had been too much for me to see the bruises on her inner thighs, how he had grabbed her and touched her in such an intimate place. A place only I should touch her.
Knowing his name was on her belly too was so hard on both of us.
Now she needed me like I needed her then. I caressed the damaged skin, at first thinking it might hurt her for me to touch it, but she hadn't cringed or cried out at all. Her eyes were riveted to mine as I held her gaze. I rubbed my hand back and forth over the torn skin as gently as I could.
"I can imagine a baby in there Elena. I can. Maybe not now...but later when we have healed from this. We might have lost all of our own families but we can start a new one and give that little angel so much love and name them after your brother or your mom or dad or anyone you want, to keep their memory alive."
I saw a the tiniest sense of wonder on her face as her one hand slowly mirrored mine on her stomach while thinking of what else she had said. "And sweetie, I am so fucking glad you are quitting your job at Maxwell Heights and I have a really nice apartment that I would love to share with you. I'm a mess too. But I want to be your mess, if you will have me."
She was focused to my little mini speech and I knew that at least some things were getting through to her. I nuzzled my nose to hers, looking so tenderly at her. "I would move heaven and earth to bring everyone back to you and restore what Kai stole from you...from us."
I drew in a deep resigned sigh. "But as much as you want it right now Elena. I can't take the scars away, not today. You have no idea how badly I want to do that for you but I can't. We need to get you surgery and that can't happen that fast."
My voice fell to barely a whisper as I dropped my forehead to hers, the water running down my face as I stood under the spray. "I can't get it off tonight. I am so, so, sorry Elena. Please believe me."
Fuck, I would give anything to make it go away; rip my own skin off and give it to her, to prevent the hell she was feeling with Kai's name carved into her body on top of every other damn loss.
She whimpered into the steamy air between us. "I know Damon. I'm not blaming you at all. It's just so hard...I can still feel him...touching me. I just wanted to scrub my body till I couldn't feel him. I woke up feeling so dirty..."
Her head fell from mine and rested against my shoulder. "I needed to not feel him," she whimpered softly, her lips brushing the skin of my neck reminding me of how I had been laying against her when I was in so much pain after being burned.
My mouth opened and closed wordlessly as I slowly put my one arm around her shaking torso. "I know baby. God, I know," I mumbled brokenly into her hair as she leaned against me. My one arm was around her bare back, rubbing slowly up and down on her spine as the other cradled the back of her head. My fingers tangled in the wet brunette strands as I felt her arms circle my waist and hold me tight.
Thank God she was letting me hold her. I was so thankful she trusted me to be this vulnerable. I needed her too, SO much.
She started sinking down in my arms, her body falling and I was weak too, feeling more dizziness and I blinked a couple times to clear my hazy vision.
What was going on with me? I decided that the second I had her calmed down I would get the nurse and tell her something just felt wrong with me. It was more than just a headache.
Feeling weak myself, instead of trying to hold her up while standing, I sunk down with her to the smooth, wet floor of the shower. My back was leaning against the one wall, as the spray kept falling down all over both of us, washing the blood clean from her body wherever it fell on her.
My Elena was in my arms and without any urging had crawled into my lap, burying her head against my neck, her legs tucked up to her chest. I hardly knew where to touch her or not too but she had not jumped back so far at any way that I had tried to reach out to comfort her.
She lay against me, not saying a word for what seemed like a long time, but it could have only been mere minutes. Her arms were tight around my neck, her nails scraping my skin as she breathed in and out as I held her in silence.
Eventually she pulled back from my shoulder and saw her look down at her body. Her one hand pulled the shirt aside and swiped at more blood running down her chest and stomach. Her backing up and letting the spray hit it gently allowed the water to wash it away.
"I didn't mean to...make it worse. I just thought I could wipe it away...all of it." She swallowed hard, her head staying down and took a deep breath as my hands kept running up and down her arm, my touch staying in safe zones.
All I wanted to do was be there for her and I ignored her state of undress. I wanted to cover her more somehow too, to help her feel safer, but there was nothing within reach and she wasn't allowing me to move at all from how she was buried against me.
Elena sniffled, her small hands tight around my neck. "I could feel his hands on me and I needed to make it go away," she half sobbed but still without tears. She looked sadly in my eyes, before leaning back down on my chest, her eyes closing.
She had ripped off every bandage she had on. Even her gunshot wound on her arm and the bandage for where I had bitten her on her inner thigh was gone too. There were shallower cuts all down her neck and middle of her chest that she had been rubbing the piece of shirt on too. Those at least would heal and not scar, like on her stomach.
I wanted to know what to say. Nothing could fix this, at least not right now. We needed to look into plastic surgery, but who knew how long that could take. She wanted the marks gone now and I didn't blame her one damn bit.
Pulling her hair back from her face, I smoothed it behind her ear and felt more confident that my touch wasn't making anything worse. I tilted her head up, waiting patiently for her eyes to meet mine again.
"We will make it go away Elena. I promise we will," I whispered once her brown eyes focused on me and I nodded firmly, my eyes hard on hers, unflinching in giving her my word.
"I want to believe you. But I don't know how right now.. I'm trying...I just can't stop thinking about them. All the death...everyone we have lost!" Her voice was cracking as she spoke. "I feel like I lost me too on that island. I'm alive but I'm not me! Kai still has me even now!
Every time I close my eyes I can see him! I can still feel his hands on me! Hurting me! Forcing his mouth on mine!" Her shoulders started shaking more, her breathing was getting faster and I realized she was trying to stifle more cries, choking and gasping for breath.
"Elena you need to calm down." I tried to pull her back from losing it more. What else could I say?
"No, no no, I can't. I can't I can't….I can't!" She was gasping harder now, her hands squeezing her head and I ached to the depths of my soul to see her like this.
"I can't, oh, it hurts. It hurts. Make it stop. Please make it stop..." she whimpered, but she still had not shed a tear. "I can't...no, no. I can't."
I pulled her closer, wrapping my arms totally around her body and she nuzzled into my neck. I held her tight, trying to shield her from the fears I knew she must be facing. Stroking her head gently I wanted so badly to take away her pain. She had lost so much.
I knew eventually she would need to face things on her own too and I needed to let her find her inner strength that I knew she had. She was fierce when she wanted to be and so, so strong and brave.
But not now. Now she was broken and empty in my arms and needed me.
"Baby. Let it out. Just cry. Don't hold back. It will help to let it out, I know it." I was nodding encouragingly at her wide and glassy eyes, my one finger under her chin. She sniffled and nodded back before I saw her whole body shake and the flood of emotion came like a wave crashing. She dissolved into tears flowing down her cheeks as she pulled me in closer to hold me tight as deep sobs wracked her body.
I felt sharp pains in my stomach as she curled tight against me and winced in reaction. I had been in too many fights and my body felt so weak and tender all over. But this seems different and I bit my lip as another wave of pain rushed thorough me. I needed to talk to the doctor.
She gasped and cried and shook against my chest, her arms clinging to my neck as wave after wave of cries pierced the near quiet room. I wondered if she had really grieved her families loss. If she even had someone in her life that she could have leaned on then to help her through all that pain.
It felt like she was letting go and releasing so much more than just the nightmare with Kai.
This was about her family too, her brother and mom and dad and everyone on that plane. She didn't have anyone then to cry to, to hold her so I wouldn't have been surprised if she held it all in...until now.
And now, in my arms she was finally letting go. I held her and let her squeeze me tighter as she sobbed.
Right now wasn't the time to be strong, it was a time to let go and grieve so much loss. We were both so weak, either emotionally or physically and I was happy for her to rest in my strength. And I in hers. She needed to cry and let out out all the emotion that was building up inside her.
I don't think we had ever needed each other more. There was no one I would rather be with in this moment and I was there for her in whatever way she needed me.
I know we had been through a lot. More than most people would face in a lifetime. But as much as we had lost...we were alive and going home and in love and had survived being trapped on an island with a group of crazy murderers and rapists. How many people could say that? How many would have given up?
We were nearly used for the cons to gain their freedom. She could have been taken away from me to God knows where and instead she was here in my arms and Kai's torn apart body was feeding the sharks.
More than us had made it out. I had gotten Enzo out of there alive too when I thought he had died. It was a miracle he survived to go home to see his son being born. He had saved my life or I would not be able to be here to comfort her at all.
Klaus saved our lives too and then nearly gave his own to save my girl. He rescued Caroline from Mason too and I felt so bad that he lost his brother after everything.
Stefan too planned the rescue almost flawlessly. Completely taking the cons by surprise, once they attacked and I knew he and the marines had risked so much to keep Elena safe. None of us were prepared for Mason drugging the men on the helicopter but even then the bestie had my back and Stefan saved Elena from Mason hurting her too and kept the chopper up long enough for us to jump.
I was in awe of how we all worked together to make it though everything. Elena had saved me too over and over as I had done for her. We were made for each other.
Holding her now, I was so happy she felt safe enough to sob in my arms. I knew we would have a rough road to recover from all the terror and the trauma. A lot of sleepless nights, nightmares, anger and grief and possibly taking out the anger on each other. I was already thinking of counseling to help us talk though things to not bottle them up.
There was so much work ahead but I knew together we could make it. I had never experienced love before and as much of a price that I had to pay to find it, I would do it all over again if it meant finding her and being able to love her.
If the plane hadn't been crashed, maybe I would already be in solitary in the Middle Eastern prison. I would have left that plane and her, before even kissing her again since that night in the prison. That is how things could have gone differently.
I sighed trying to stop my racing thoughts and pressed a kiss to her hair. She didn't seem self conscious at all, barely wearing anything and being held like this with me and I was so glad she felt safe enough to let all her walls down.
Still, I knew I should contact the nurse to make sure there was nothing else wrong; with her or me. My head was pounding more still and I cringed at the dizziness I felt, glad we were at least on the floor in the shower. My pants felt like they weighed a ton already being so wet and I felt the water starting to go cooler.
I lifted my head and curling more strands of her hair behind her ear I rocked her in my arms like a child. I scooted over, more toward the edge of the shower until I was just outside the doorway.
Moving the curtain aside, I grabbed for the towels I had dropped in my shock of seeing her like this and spread one awkwardly with one hand over her back and the other around her body and between us more as I held her. Her fingers didn't leave my neck but I could see her wounds were finally not dripping anymore.
She was out of the spray of the water as it fell against my back and I heard the sobs starting to subside. She sniffled and gasped and coughed, her nose runny as I wiped her face with the towel and she smiled, actually smiled up at me.
I smiled back seeing her brown eyes so wide and red from crying and I saw her shiver more again. "Baby, we need to get to dried off and back in bed. I don't want you to get sick."
She nodded in agreement and I moved her enough so I could stand up and grabbed another towel from the shelf.
Helping her up too I started drying her hair and she leaned back into the counter as I gently and carefully wiped away all the water from her body. Slipping the soaking wet shirt from her and drying her chest and back and stomach slowly. I was careful to keep her covered and only touch her with the towel. I dried her legs and feet and then pulled a dry shirt over her and gave her boxers to wear as shorts before helping her back to the bed.
I carried clothes for me and dumped them at the foot of the bed. My cotton pants were soaked and I slipped them off too and dried off after I tucked her into the bed and pulled the blankets all around her right up to her neck.
Quickly I slipped off the wet boxers and put on dry ones as I stood at the foot of the bed. I was reaching for fresh pajama pants when I felt another wave of pain through my stomach and grabbed fast to the frame of the bed.
"Damon?" Her tone was laced with worry as I saw her sit up fast.
I bit my lip waiting for the pain to ease up and tried again to put on my dry pajama pants. "Something's wrong Elena..." I replied, not wanting to scare her but I knew she needed to know.
I nearly stumbled, as I reached toward the call bell. I felt this weird pain in my one arm and shook it to loosen the muscle...but it wasn't going away.
Elena was already crawling down out from under the blankets and was at my side, her eyes so wide and fearful.
"Baby, call the nurse...now please!" I gasped out, doubling over. I was about to reach the cord myself seeing it laying at the side of the bed when I felt the room spin in circles. And before my eyes darted back to hers I fell onto the bed and everything went black…
All thoughts of me were forgotten. I yanked at the call bell before scrambling back over to Damon. All the tears and my sore chest from crying, my stuffed nose and tender swollen eyes was put out of my mind.
My comfort meant nothing the second I saw him collapse.
I pulled him around so he was facing up and more onto the bed as I checked his airway. He was breathing...thank god! But it was slow and thready. He was unconscious and he had looked like he had been dizzy just before too. Had he had more symptoms than that...that he hadn't told me?
I felt all around his head knowing he had been hit in the head multiple times in the fights he had to save me. I had even seen once on the plane when Kai slammed his head against the wall of the helicopter that there was blood on the wall after.
I felt more along his scalp, my fingers probing through his dark locks but there didn't even seem to be a serious bump. I remembered the doctor saying he wanted to give Damon a CT scan later once we were on the mainland…
My breath caught in my throat as I went over some of the possible reasons for his collapse in my head….Oh my god could he be bleeding in his brain?! I knew dizziness and headache were signs of that. He had said his headache was still getting worse and worse before too. But the stomach cramps must be something else. Damn it.
The nurse finally came running into the room and looked around fast to assess the situation.
"Damon...he collapsed. He's unconscious," I mumbled to her, terrified of where my thoughts had taken me. Brain bleeds could be fatal and were very serious.
The nurse started moving him around, checking his vitals and heart beat, his pupils and head for any damage as I stood beside the bed. I told her about the dizziness and what looked like muscle pain and him doubling over and she gave him another physical.
More tears...different tears started falling in my fear. Suddenly everything that happened to me. Kai cutting me...all the losses I had been grieving for were nothing compared to absolute terror I felt when I saw my Damon falling. Something was really wrong and I was so scared.
"Damon you have to wake up!" I whimpered. I had crawled back on the bed and was on my knees, holding his head in my hands as I stroked down the wet dark strands of his hair. I knew the longer he was under the worse it could be for him when he woke up.
After a quick physical exam the nurse was already on the phone and calling for an air ambulance and saying we needed to leave now for the mainland. She told the person on the phone to call Dr. Martin to meet us there. Then she spoke right to me but I could barely hear her over the rushing of my blood in my ears. I asked her to repeat it and listened more carefully, trying to calm down so I could process her words.
She said he likely had a slow internal bleed that wasn't able to be diagnosed before and he would need to make trip without any more pain relief due to the level of morphine still in his body and the risk of that making a possible brain bleed worse.
I told her the doctor wanted Damon to watch for any change in him to make sure nothing more serious was going on beneath the surface and that he hadn't had any signs of anything before except the headache that wasn't going away.
My gaze fell back down to him. "Damon, baby. Please wake up," I whispered again, closer to his ear.
Looking up, more people rushed into the room and I realized I didn't even jump in any kind of fright I had earlier. My focus was on Damon and nothing else right now.
In seconds we were moving. They had thrown a blanket over him, reattached his I.V. and Carol had tried to get me to move off the bed only to have me yell back at her that he needed me. I reminded her more calmly too that I was a doctor too and knew what to watch for so she relented and let me come along on the stretcher. I wasn't hurting him or risking anything in any way. I just wanted to show him I was right there. That he could feel me close.
His beautiful blue eyes were closed, his head in my lap as we raced down the hallways. My eyes were locked on his face, his head cradled in my hands. I let out a gasp as suddenly I saw his eyelashes flutter!
"Damon? Honey can you hear me?"
His eyes opened just slightly as I saw the faintest nod of his head. His one hand, the one with the metal cuff still on it was reaching up and found my wrist against his head. He nodded with more strength.
"Damon, can you follow the light?" I held a penlight up, opening his eyes wider and watched his eyes follow it, his pupils reacting normally.
"It hurts," he mumbled weakly, bending over, curling up again, clutching his stomach. "My head too..." I nodded to him kissing his forehead and buried my fingers in his hair rubbing the scalp with smooth and light pressure. He moaned almost silently and squeezed my hand.
"You are going to be okay Damon," I assured him, my eyes soft on his. The nurse passed me an oxygen mask and I adjusted it on his face, letting him breath it in slowly as I stroked his cheek and jaw.
I was sure Carol would have been doing all this herself but I was really glad she was allowing me to take care of him too. I knew what to do when I patient fainted and I was barely needing to think as I let my doctor mode take over. I offered the kind nurse a small smile of thanks and she nodded to me, as she wrapped the blood pressure cuff on his arm.
There was a gust of wind as we were moved out onto the flight deck and wheeled across the cement. We stopped suddenly and I saw why. The vehicle was readying for take off, blades spinning and was opening its doors to lift Damon's stretcher in.
It was a helicopter…
My eyes darted around in panic, sounds and lights and smells invaded my senses. The pilot was already at the controls and flicking switches and talking on the radio. Everyone was ready to go and I nearly screamed as flashes of the helicopter spinning in mid air, Stefan yelling and Damon's cries for me, raced through my head.
NO. I could not get on that thing.
My heart pounded as I jumped off the stretcher, my hand slipping from his and watched them carry him onto the chopper. I felt sick, literally sick and I ran the short distance to the side of the tarmac and threw up whatever little was in my stomach.
I couldn't do it, get back into another helicopter. Not yet...My stomach was spinning so badly and I could see nothing but Kai, hitting me across the face and forcing my hands in the cuffs. Crushing me against the wall and kissing me...I was hanging from the doorway as I saw Damon trapped by his own handcuff as he screamed for me.
No. It was too soon.
A hand fell to my shoulder and I looked up to see the brunette nurse looking sadly in my eyes.
"It's okay. You can follow us along in a boat too Elena. She was rubbing my shoulder and her eyes reflected the understanding of my fear. I stood up and saw the blades spinning faster and the lights turn on as it looked to be cleared for take off. Carol gave me an encouraging half smile and ran back to the chopper and I saw her buckling down the stretcher.
I moved closer, my arms tight around my chest. The wind from the blades whipped through my hair and I shivered at the skimpy clothes I was wearing. The blood from my wounds was still sticky in spots and I could feel the wetness through the thin material of the black v neck shirt Damon had helped me into.
My head darted back and forth. I wanted to go with him but I was so scared. The way my stomach was doing cartwheels now I wondered if I would ever not think of Kai and how he hurt me when I saw a helicopter.
I saw Damon lift his head slightly, turning it toward me. He had seen me run and was weakly trying to get up. He pulled the mask off his face and I heard my name. His voice sounded so faint.
I needed to decide. I saw Carol look back once more as she held the mask back over his face, had gently pushed him back to lie down and put another blanket over him.
I cursed, something I almost never did and ran forward.
Before I could even think of the fear again I had sunk down in the seat beside Damon's head and nuzzled my forehead to his. I was vaguely aware of someone buckling me in, wrapping a blanket around my shoulders and then we were up in the air, speeding across the dark ocean.
"Elena," he breathed out hoarsely, pulling the mask back from his face again. I saw his eyes close slowly as he leaned in closer to my head.
I stayed right there, my head against his, holding him as close as I could. I focused on his scent, the smell of his dark hair, the slightly salty taste of his skin as I kissed his forehead. I helped him put the mask on and gazed down on his breathtaking blue eyes at half-mast, his lashes dark and brushing the skin below his eyes. His face was blurry behind the mask as I saw him take long deep breaths.
My eyes fell closed as a little moan escaped my lips. I was SO glad to hear his voice. I still had no idea why he collapsed and seeing him weak and blacking out in front of my eyes shifted everything in my head.
Damon had been so strong for me that part of me didn't believe he could ever look weak in my eyes. Even when he was being held down by Julian and he was fighting to get to me when Kai was torturing me, he was so strong making sure I didn't feel alone, his eyes never leaving mine.
Now I needed to be strong now too. He needed me, right here, right now...fear of helicopters be damned. I had faced down me fear, needing Damon more than I feared the helicopter and won. I knew I could not take a boat and be away from him now. All I needed to think about was how I could help him.
"You're here?" His voice was flooded with emotion, his deep blue eyes seeking me out and I saw the softest smile grace his lips as he met my eyes. God my heart ached for how much I loved him. I gently helped him adjust the mask again so he could breath in the fresh oxygen.
I smiled through new tears, even though I thought I had cried them all today. Running my fingers though his damp raven locks I gazed adoringly down on him and pressed another kiss to his forehead. "Yes Damon, of course I'm here. I would not want to be anywhere else."
He lifted the mask again, this time just a little, but it still earned us both a frown from the nurse on his other side. "You must have been so scared Lena..." His voice was so low and I had to lean even closer to hear him. "First planes crashing…and now helicopters."
He knew me so well already. He was the one that could have something seriously wrong with him and he was worried about me getting on the helicopter.
I felt a slight shudder as the chopper shook and I grabbed for his hand instantly. It was just the smallest moment of turbulence but I knew that trigger could be with me for a long time.
"I'm okay honey. I am. I had a few moments where I let the fear in, but I knew how much you needed me. I just needed to find my courage again." I smiled, tilting my head to the side and started leaning in more till my nose practically bumped into the oxygen mask between us.
I backed up from him as the nurse checked his heart rate and temperature and then did all the basic neuro checks. I was surprised to hear him say that being on the helicopter before was fuzzy and he didn't remember fighting with Kai and getting hit hard on the head at all.
I told Carol that I had seen blood on the wall and that the doctor had arranged a CT for Damon for the morning too. But Damon was supposed to tell him any other symptoms to watch for during the night to make sure nothing was getting worse.
"I'm sorry Beauty," he squeezed my hand again, taking the mask off. "When I saw you in the shower like that, all your bandages ripped off and you shivering naked I wasn't thinking of me at all. I should have told you sooner." He looked between me and the nurse who now looked to be frowning at me too.
"How long has it been more than just a headache Mr. Salvatore?" the nurse asked.
"Only the last half hour or so," he replied. "I was going to call you as soon as I got Elena dressed and back in bed."
"You ripped off your bandages Elena?" she questioned and I nodded sheepishly.
"I wasn't thinking either. I just remember waking up and needed to scrub my skin clean and I didn't even realize how much I had been scrubbing till Damon stopped me. Every few minutes I was bombarded with more nightmarish images as I scrubbed my skin and had just curled up in a ball trying to block it out."
My love frowned at me, his blue eyes narrowed again. "Why didn't you wake me?"
I shook my head at him, smiling and kissing his knuckles as I spoke. "You had been in pain so much Damon and were finally sleeping. I just...wanted to let you sleep and try to face my demons on my own. You had already done so much for me; washing all the blood off me and making me feel so loved and safe after everything.
Damon gave me a crooked smile at that. We were both not doing a great job of taking care of ourselves and only thinking of each other. I saw him cringe again at more pain in his belly and the nurse felt all over his stomach to check more.
"You could be bleeding internally Damon. There is the slightest discolor on your skin but it could just be from bruises too. I'm sorry we can't give you anything for the pain till we get you that CT. And you do need to rest." She recovered him and straightened the blanket.
Carol was looking back and forth at us. "Both of you should sleep once you get checked out to make sure they is no more damage. Damon might need surgery Elena. I wanted to prepare you for that possibility."
I gasped at that. My head knew it, the doctor part of me knew that was possible. But he was so much more than a patient, that I was terrified of any more bad news or more danger to him.
"Elena, you need to make sure someone will re bandage your wounds when we get to Lisbon. You need to take care of you so we can focus on making sure Damon gets looked at right away. Its about another half hour. And he needs that oxygen and to make sure he stays awake now till we get that CT Elena. I can stay up with him so you can rest."
"No, I'm okay," I said quickly. "I want to help. It helps me too, to help him."
Damon was running his one hand along my arm before squeezing my hand as he listened, his face suddenly contorting in more pain. He curled up more, holding a pillow against his stomach. My big strong man was trying so hard not to show he was hurting cause he knew it was scaring me.
I was desperately thinking of something I could do help ease his pain. I saw his eyelids flutter open and closed and his eyes locked on mine. "It's going to be okay Damon. Just hang on. We are almost there," I soothed him.
He smiled weakly again and I saw his eyes move from mine and down to my lips.
I studied the way he was looking at me. Would that help? He looked like he wanted to kiss me and I saw him wet his lips too as he stared at mine. Damn I wanted to kiss him too. He had given me the gentlest kiss before when he was washing me but before that I had felt like so long since I felt his lips on mine.
The nurse caught my gaze and I looked hard at her as my mind was spinning. Kissing him had helped his pain when he had been burned. I knew it had. "Can I um..."
She was already nodding to me, knowing what I was going to say. She had been watching us closely. She had just finished taking his blood pressure when she unwrapped the cuff and backed away from the stretcher more. She smiled at me, her eyes landing on him as well.
"Yes. Go ahead Elena. I think it would help relax him. His blood pressure is getting way too high. But not long maybe a minute or so, no more...and then help him keep that mask on the rest of the flight."
I saw a weak smile creep onto Damon's lips and I blushed at him before smiling back at the nurse.
His head turned on the pillow back to me, his ocean blue eyes carrying a spark of excitement. "Kiss me Elena, please," he breathed out with a small smirk at the corners of his mouth. "Gotta love doctors orders..." He was so perceptive that even with the pain he was in, he knew exactly what we were talking about.
I smiled back both at Carol's silent understanding and at my fiance, who's one hand had curled back behind my neck. He never had to give me a reason to kiss him, medically or not. But I was so hoping this would help ease his pain even a little. He was already tunneling his fingers in my hair as I leaned in and he pulled my lips closer to his.
His tongue ran along the seam of my lips and I opened to him instantly, longing just as much for the taste of his kisses. Damon's hand stayed at the back of my head, pulling my me closer and tilting my head to deepen the kiss. I heard him cry out and curl up tighter as he kissed me and I pulled his lips harder to mine, hoping to pull him away from the sensations of the pain.
A groan rumbled in the back of his throat and I hungrily sucked his tongue in my mouth. His mouth was warm and soft, his kisses so sweet and tender with passionate fire burning and wanting to be released. I felt like I was soaring above the clouds like an eagle in the wind, the air cool on my face.
I tangled my fingers in his raven hair by his ear and moaned into the kiss. I could lose myself within him. He could make me forget everything around us. There was no fear, no pain or any worry about the next hours or days. The taste of his love melted that all away to nothing.
It was helping...I could tell. His muscles were relaxing and he wasn't pulling his body in so tight. He was instead leaning further to kiss me deeper and I hoped he was as lost in the feelings as I was.
Damon moaned my name into my mouth and tugged more on my head. I was already stretched as far as the seat belt could go to be this close to him. He sucked my bottom lip in his mouth, his hand sinking deeper into my damp hair.
I smiled against his lips as I could feel with my one hand that had snuck under the blanket seeking out his heartbeat, hoping my kisses had calmed his blood pressure. I exhaled deeply feeling the beats were not racing as much. He was relaxing into the kiss and I loved how much I affected him. How such simple touches and kisses, gentle brushes of my hand or lips could sooth him.
I needed this too; to get lost in him to forget everything for a minute. It was helping me not think that we were again in a helicopter too.
Damon leaned up as I started to pull away, nipping at my lips and capturing them once more with his. I allowed him a few more seconds but I already could feel he was starting to breath faster again, like he was scared to stop kissing me. But I needed to give him more oxygen to keep him conscious too.
Our tongues tangled sensuously one last time, as he let out another moan and smiled as I pulled back, kissing his nose and cheeks and even his eyelids as they fell closed and finally his forehead. My fingers trailed through his hair slowly, over and over, running through the midnight locks as his breathing settled back down.
Damon's eyes were wide and liquid blue as he gazed lovingly at me. I gently ran my hand over his face, closing his eyes like I had back in the cave when I had been massaging him to sleep. Placing the mask on his face, he held it nodding that he would be good and leave it on.
I laid back down on his shoulder, snuggling in and stretching awkwardly as far as I could in the seat. Kissing had helped and Carol moved back to the seat beside us after giving us the privacy for me to calm him. She looked so relieved too that his blood pressure was staying back in a normal range, at least for now.
My eyes closed in relief as I breathed him in. He had kissed me to calm my fear as we were crashing and I was so grateful I could return the favor now.
I shook my head, trying to clear the haze I felt anytime we kissed and needed to focus now on keeping him awake.
So I talked. I opened my eyes and watched his own stay locked on mine as I told him more about my childhood and wishing I had a sister to share with growing up. I told him about vacations my family had been on and how much of a pain Jeremy was as a little brother. He smiled and was rubbing my hand in his, tangling his fingers in my hair as I leaned over him.
It was fun and actually soothing to remember the good times. I told him of our familys cabin up by the lake and how we went there every chance we could in summer. I shared about being scared to get a new job and where I could work at all that I would be safe and feel like I was helping people. He was nodding and showed me his full attention despite being able to respond, but he hadn't cringed in more pain once yet.
Carol came back to check his vitals again. She looked impressed at how well I was taking care of Damon and that kissing had been good medicine, as unconventional as it seemed. I tucked the blanket more around his bare shoulders as more gusts of wind swept through the helicopter and I curled tighter into the blanket I had been given.
The whole time I was talking to keep him awake I did not let the fear of what the doctors might find when we got there flood back into my thoughts. Damon had to be okay. There was no other path I was strong enough to take and I knew that. I was sure he knew that too.
We started going down and looking outside I saw lights everywhere, cars on highways, streetlights, tall sky scrapers all lit up in the night sky. We were back on the mainland, far away from the island finally. I saw the sign for the hospital and the lit up landing pad as we dropped from the sky and landed without incident.
I could not get off the helicopter fast enough. Unbuckling my seat belt I raced after the men that were pushing Damon's stretcher down of the landing pad toward the roof elevator. I laced my fingers with his and he squeezed my hand as the elevator doors closed and the small space was plunged into silence.
"Elena," he called out pulling the mask back from his face and I saw him starting to clutch his stomach again, this time it looked worse as agony flashed across his face. He half sat up on the stretcher. "Ahhh, its hurts more…like something heavy is on me and my head..." he rasped.
The nurse palpitated his stomach again and looked like she knew something more than before. But before she could tell me Damon sat up further, ripped the mask off fully and threw up blood all over the blankets on him and on me where I was standing beside him.
My heart leapt into my throat at the sight of all the blood and he was panting hard before gagging again. His hand was clinging to mine still and he looked desperately at me.
I was terrified. I felt like things were moving in slow motion and I stood there in stunned silence.
Any normal patient and I would have jumped into action, and checked vitals and everything I should do. I wouldn't even think and everything I needed to do would be autopilot for me.
But this was Damon…
My mind was racing with all the horrific reasons that he would be puking up blood now. I couldn't lose him, was my internal mantra and I had to stay calm. He was looking at me again and his eyes were pleading with me to trust that he was okay. We didn't even have to speak and I knew what he wanted me to know.
The doors opened just as I was about to ask the nurse what was going on. She looked like she had discovered something when she had been checking him. But before I could say anything she raced out of the elevator and Dr. Martin was right there to meet us. They spoke in rapid hushed tones and then instructed the men to bring him directly to get the C.T. scan.
They rushed him through the halls and I stayed right at his side. Just as they were about to push the door open to the C.T. wing of the hospital Dr. Martin stopped me.
"You can't go in there Elena. You need to wait here. We will take..."
I was already shaking my head before he finished. "No! I need to stay with him please?" I begged. The Dr. grabbed my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. "Can you assure me that you are not pregnant? No unprotected sex in the last month?"
My mouth dropped. No, I couldn't.
"You are a doctor," he said gently. "You know unless you can promise me you aren't pregnant you cannot come into that room.
Damon answered for me. "She could be. We don't know." He had fallen back into the pillow and looked exhausted. "Don't let her in. I don't want to risk anything."
He nodded at me and I slowly nodded back numbly.
My eyes were darting back and forth between Dr. Martins and Carol's, only to rest on Damon's again as I saw the concern on his face.
"Elena, don't worry about me," he said firmly, but while I could clearly see him in pain, clutching his stomach. He forced his head back up. "I'm NOT leaving you. I promise Beauty."
I nodded, hearing him but barely registering his words. I reached down and kissed him firmly on the forehead and then they pulled him away. Out of my reach and through the doors.
Our eyes stayed locked on each others till the door swung closed and then I was alone in the empty hallway.
I stood there in shock. The rush of getting here was over and the silence of the empty hall overwhelmed me. I saw the blood on my hands and arms and I started shaking.
I had Damon's blood on me…
The slid down the wall outside the door and dropped my head to my knees. Curling up in the blanket around me did nothing for my body shaking so much.
My heart hurt for Damon and I needed to be with him. But I knew he was right. The doctor was too. I needed to stay here. I needed to trust that they would take care of him. I lifted my head and stared at my bloody hands.
I had no idea how long I had sat there for. Nurses and doctors came and went from the room and I saw one run by me back in the room with a large saw and then I heard a loud whirring behind the door. They must be cutting the cuff off him...finally. He had wanted that thing off ages ago. I knew it wasn't safe to do a CT with any kind of metal on you.
The doors opened with a loud slam and I jumped and looked up. "Oh there you are," a voice said. "Goodness Elena I have been looking all over for you."
I knew that voice. My eyes were puffy from all the crying and I had to squint to see the person coming toward me.
They moved closer and I saw through my blurry vision the man flip his dark hair back from his eyes as he slid down the wall to sit beside me. "You save a guys life, over and over and he still finds a way to land in the hospital..."
"Oh my god Enzo! What are you doing here?!" I blinked once, twice and wiped my nose as I sniffled and stared at him like he wasn't real.
"You know I'm always here for you and Damon," he said softly. "I heard he was rushed to the hospital here and I figured you might need me." His smile at me was teasing and friendly, trying to break the tension and I sniffled and choked on a sob, nodding as I smiled back.
He opened his arms to me, I moved closer and he enveloped me in a big warm hug as we sat on the floor. I closed my eyes, so grateful he was here. He had been such a support when Damon had been burned and I was in shock and scared then too as I waited and was so panicked not knowing what was happening to him.
Enzo held me for a few minutes and I cried quietly against his shoulder before I sniffled again and pulled back.
I sat up fast and wiped my hand across my face again. "But the baby? Your wife? What happened?" I mumbled confused. "You didn't stay just for us did you?"
Enzo laughed, his brown eyes soft. "No, as flattered as I'm sure you and my bestie would be. Bon can blame mother nature for me missing my son's birth. There was hurricane watch ahead that was upgraded to a strong Category 2 and by the time we were in the air headed across the ocean it had been bumped up to a 4. So we were ordered to turn around and headed back to Europe."
"Oh wow. That's scary!" I commented listening intently.
"I know. Tell me about it. Horrible timing too. They hadn't had a hurricane near here in over 5 years I was told and it has to hit now when I am trying to get my ass home." Enzo replied with a mirthless chuckle, pursing his lips.
"So...I had been stuck in the airport near here half the night and face timing my beautiful and so tired of being pregnant wife. She was upset...to say the least and I think she said when the epidural kicked in she was calling air traffic control. I don't even want to know how that conversation would go." He laughed. "And would not want to be that guy."
Enzo let out a deep breath. "So they said they had managed to stop the labor once before and only on her request that I would get there in time. But now the doctors say he will be born tonight no question and I get a front row video chat seat."
"Awe, I'm sorry," I said in complete seriousness.
He half smiled at me. "I know you are Elena. Thank you for that. I wish my wife shared your understanding. Unfortunately live feed video is as close as I will be to my family when he is born." He made a face at me sadly and I knew he was trying not to let it hurt that he was missing their child's first day on this earth.
"But enough about me. She will be fine and happy and I know she will get over being upset and she isn't really mad at me, just at everything. Her mom is there too so I know she is being taken really good care of." He bent his head to me, his eyes wide and full of concern. "I truly am so glad I can be here for my buddy and you." He smiled and bumped my shoulder like a big brother would do.
I leaned my head against his shoulder and let out a deep sigh. "Me too Enzo. But how did you get here so fast if you were already in middle of the ocean?"
"Well when I had called the carrier to check in on you guys the Captain said you both had just been emergency air lifted to Lisbon and that Damon might need surgery or have a brain bleed."
He turned to face me and I could see him studying my very disheveled appearance and the blood all over me.
"God Elena, I am so so sorry for what you are going through."
I nodded and felt more tears instantly at my lashes at the thought of Damon having all these tests and possibly surgery too or even brain surgery. I was in shock I didn't want any of it to be real.
"I don't know what's going to happen," I cried. "He just blacked out and has had headaches since the fight in the helicopter with Kai and now stomach pain and this...is his blood," I lifted my hands to show Enzo Damon's blood still all over me."
I started shaking again just thinking about it and staring at the red streaks on my skin and clothes. "He has to be okay..." I trailed off and dropped my head to my knees again.
"He will be Elena. He is a fighter." His voice was warm and reassuring as he put his arm around me and I turned to curl up against his shoulder. "I have never seen him fight so hard for anything in the damn world than to get you safe. He loves you so much and he will fight just as hard to make it out of this."
I smiled sadly, knowing I had to believe him. Damon promised me he wouldn't leave me and I needed to believe him.
We sat in silence for what felt like ages before the door swung open and a doctor, nurses more people came rushing out of the room. I let out a gasping breath as I saw Damon being wheeled out too and I jumped to my feet and raced toward him. I heard the doctor say we could have a few minutes and that Dr. Martin had been called away to an emergency.
Damon tried to lift his head but he was too weak. He was awake and cleaned up with no blood all over the blankets but he looked exhausted. He had tubes and heart monitors and machines all around him attached to his stretcher. But even with all that, I saw him force a half smile to his lips.
His eyes looked so tired as his one hand moved and I saw him reaching for me. I smiled, already teary eyed and buried my face against his neck, breathing his name.
"Enz?" he barely whispered with surprise in his weak tone. "You're...here?" Damon choked out and half lifted his head, only to have it fall back to the pillow behind him.
"I am buddy...just take it easy. I'll take care of your girl." Enzo smiled at him and Damon smiled weakly back.
Damon's voice was louder as my ear was against his chest on the hospital gown. "Thank...you bud..." he tried to say and looked like he could hardly string words together.
We both looked at the doctor to explain why Damon looked so weak and barely awake.
"He was given a sedative in preparation for surgery," the doctor said, far to fast and far too calmly for my liking. Surgery?! Oh my god was there bleeding in his brain?
My arms around his neck tightened, scared to hear more. My baby was laying on a stretcher, so weak he could barely open his eyes and he needed surgery? I pulled my head up from the warmth of Damon's body and braced myself for whatever the news was.
"First of all," the doctor said. "I can only give information to his family."
My heart sunk. Neither of us were family here.
Damon looked like he was trying to talk again when Enzo jumped in and spoke up.
"She's his wife," he said in all seriousness, with no sign of deception on his face.
He was an agent of course he could lie convincingly. "And I'm his brother, Lorenzo Salvatore. Please tell us what's going on." I kept a straight face as Enzo told the same lie that I did, to get information on Damon before.
And him being his brother? That must have been just in case they didn't believe that Damon and I were married.
My 'husband' was nodding ever so slowly, his eyes nearly falling closed. I untangled my hand from his and lifted up our hands to show the doctor our tattoo rings.
The older gray haired man looked us both over and that seemed to satisfy him and I felt my shoulders sink with relief.
"Okay, Mr. Salvatore is already doing better. We gave him anti-seizure meds and pain relievers after we took the CT and MRI scans of his head, stomach and chest..."
My heart was in my throat as I waited for the doctor to explain what they found.
He continued. "We found no signs of a brain bleed on the any of the scans, but we will be monitoring Mr. Salvatore closely for the next 24 to 48 hours for any changes in his neuro capabilities."
I heard that right didn't I? No signs? My eyes darted back and forth between the people around me and Damon was trying to smile to me before I looked back at the doctor. I was shaking in relief. I had been so scared that was why he had collapsed.
The doctor continued. "The scans showed no signs of any kind sub-dermal hemotoma, or cerebral hemorrhage or any bleeding at all from the blunt force he got on his head. But he suffered a very significant concussion and will need to take it easy for awhile and be monitored very closely after being discharged."
Enzo breathed out in relief too and my head fell back against Damon's chest as I leaned on him feeling his heart under my ear and treasuring the steady smooth beats. I just wanted to stay there laying against him but the doctor had mentioned surgery...
Enzo spoke up again. He was thinking a lot more clearly than I was right now. "His wife is a doctor...so I think he will be in very good hands. But surgery..." he said to the doctor and to which he nodded his approval of that.
The doctor cleared his throat after speaking to someone who said O.R. 2 was ready. "Yes, the scans did bring up some bleeding in his abdomen and I wanted to let you know that an operating room is ready now. We need to go in and determine the source of the bleed that he likely sustained from the physical assault to get you and Mrs. Salvatore off the island and away from the criminals."
I lifted my head and looked up at Damon. He looked almost asleep again and reached up with his hand ever so slowly till he was caressing my cheek. I held his hand against my face and felt tears slipping down my cheeks. I knew how risky internal bleeding could be, the chances of something going wrong in surgery, blood pressure dropping or cardiac arrest.
No, I didn't even want to think of it. This was one of those times I hated being a doctor.
Enzo came closer as I saw someone push the elevator button at the end of the hall.
I looked up in my precious Damon's half closed eyes and stroked his face and ran my fingers through his hair. I bent down and kissed his cheek, my eyes warring between tenderness and anger that he better not give up in there. "I'm not leaving you...so don't you dare leave me baby," I said firmly.
His eyes widened as he struggled to open his mouth. God, I hated seeing him so weak and helpless. I hardly recognized the love of my life like this.
"I'll never leave you...Beau… I promise.." he breathed out.
I smiled through tears and kissed him again, my tears falling to his lips as he opened to me enough to barely taste his kiss. I was so scared, my stomach spinning so much as I knew he was being taken away from me again.
The bell dinged and the doors opened. I stood up and felt Enzo's arms on my shoulders gently pulling me back away from Damon. They started pushing him away from me and into the elevator. I stood there aching inside, watching him.
But before they could get in the elevator all of a sudden the heart monitor started flashing and the long beep of his heartbeat plummetting echoed…
No, no, no...
My heart felt like it stopped right along with his and I let out a scream as I saw the doctor and nurses swarming around him, yelling instructions, tearing down his gown and quickly putting drugs in his I.V. I saw the crash cart appear and the whine of it charging up as they pushed it into the elevator with him. The doctor held the paddles, before placing them on his chest.
"Damon!" I screamed again and fought Enzo's grip on me as they kept pushing Damon into the elevator as the flat-line beep kept blaring through the blood pounding in my ears. I saw his body jerk hard from the shock of the paddles and the doctor yelled to go again.
I felt like everything was moving in slow motion and I fought harder to get to him...I needed to go to him.
The doors started closing as the flat-line kept echoing and I fell to my knees in Enzo's arms as the door sealed and there was no sign of what was happening to Damon!
Enzo let me go and I was up running to the elevator and banging on the door and pushing the button frantically. I saw Enzo take off around the corner, racing to the nurses station as a few nurses were already coming to find out what all the noise was about. I saw Carol run toward me and she knelt down, her eyes wide with shock.
"Damon...they took him...he..." I was gasping and couldn't even get the sentence out. I started clutching my stomach feeling so much pain as my head sunk to the cold floor, my hands sliding down the closed elevator door. I couldn't breath, my heart felt like it was tearing apart.
Enzo ran back to me and had two other women with him. He sunk to his knees in front of me and gathered me in his arms while speaking fast to the other nurses.
I couldn't even hear them but in seconds they were moving, one running up the stairs and the other pushing the other elevator door button. One woman was on her phone talking rapidly to the person on the other end.
I was starting to feel faint and I gasped out Damon's name once more before I felt my eyes falling closed and I slumped in Enzo's arms as I was pulled into nothingness…
I blinked and heard shuffling around me as I struggled to wake up. What happened?
"Elena?" I heard a voice calling me and I fought to pull my eyes open. "Elena, can you hear me?"
I blinked again at the bright light and felt that I was lying down and felt the softness of pillows under my head. I was on a bed.
"Go get the doctor. I think she is waking up." I heard the voice say again.
"Enzo?" I mumbled weakly. I felt a hand on mine and I squinted and focused on the face leaning over me. Enzo was here. I remembered being in a hospital with Damon.
Damon! Oh my god. I remembered Damon going into the elevator and then hearing his heart stop!
I tried to sit up and felt Enzo gently push me back down. "Elena take it easy. You are still really weak. We had the doctor sedate you cause when you woke up before you had a full blown panic attack. You've been out for hours."
Hours? "Damon? Enzo, where...is he?"
Enzo leaned in still closer and I felt his breath by my ear. "Elena...Damon's fine. He made it through the surgery."
I felt tears in my eyes already. "Really?" I choked out.
"Really. Elena. He came through just great. They stopped the bleed and he is going to be okay. They are watching him really closely the next 24 hours but he is alive Elena."
"Oh my god Enzo! He is? Damon's okay?!" Tears were running down my face now and I was shaking as I was feeling more and more awake.
I saw him nodding and smiling at me and I could hardly believe it. I felt him lift up my hand and the squeak of wheels as I felt the bed I was in moving and he laid my hand back down on warm skin.
"Elena, he's right here. Can you feel him? He is not awake yet, but he is right here." I nodded...I could feel him. I sniffled back more tears.
I reached further but I could barely feel his hand. I tried to lift my head to see him but it felt too heavy. "Damon?" I whimpered trying to reach more of him.
"Oh screw rules," I heard Enzo mutter and the next moment I felt his arms under my back and legs as he lifted me up and against his chest. I felt the cool air around me before he turned and laid me down again.
My whimpers turned to a sob of joy as I felt soft hair against my face. I nuzzled into his neck and I breathed him in.
Damon!
I had never been so scared in my life than that moment watching the elevator close.
He was here, against me, warm and soft and alive!
I cried and whimpered his name and buried my head against his throat and leaned down to his chest. I heard the strong, steady heartbeat under my ear and I let out another sob of relief.
Lifting my head I saw his dark lashes covering his beautiful eyes and I curled back down, holding tight to his waist and heard the loud sound of the monitor clear as day in the room.
He was alive and he was going to be okay. I could not stop crying with relief…
A/N; Only one more left before the sequel…
I hope this wasn't too dark. I tried to capture the depths of pain in this kind of trauma and I knew I needed to deal with the injuries that Damon had gotten in all the fights he survived. He couldn't just walk away from all that without any serious physical injuries.
I needed someone there for Elena and nothing seemed to be right with Ric or Caroline or even Elijah at that hospital so I decided to have Enzo come back for them as horrible at it will not to be with his wife delivering her baby. Elena had already been so strong but needed someone when Damon was in the hospital.
Please review. I am super nervous about how I did here. This was Elena's at the depths of her pain, which I thought was needed. Her cutting herself in the shower and as dark and full of loss she was the worst she had ever felt and then Damon telling to cry and let it out. She had not grieved much at all for the people she lost and also showed so much strength facing her fear of the helicopter deciding Damon's needs were stronger than her fear. But also almost losing him was also a sense of the worst loss she could experience so there is so much going on here.
I hope I have done the characters and their circumstances justice. I've done my best to write what I feel in my heart and how it should play out. So I do hope you liked it.
More to come. We will go back to Klaus and Caroline and Ric and find out what happened to Stefan and meet Elijah too. Powerful ending I promise you….
I will try to update much faster. I also have an idea for a Mother's day story for my post finale series too and I need to start on Book 4 for those of you who followed Eternally Blood Bound and the other books.
Have a safe and happy weekend :)