Say You Love Me

Chapter 4

I had the potato salad and banana pudding whipped up in no time, while Jax was outside manning the grill. While we were cooking, the game of twenty questions continued. I found out that his favorite color was red, he loved working on anything with a motor, he had a little brother that had passed away while he was a teen, and that it was just his mother Gemma and her husband Clay around family wise. I had walked outside to sit by the grill and watch Jackson man the grill.

"It's my turn right?" Jax asked.

"Yeap, its on you."

"Are you a virgin? You don't have to answer if you don't wanna, I was just curious," he said as he took the steak, foil packet of green beans, and corn off of the grill and turned it off. Jackson turned around to face me and waited for me to respond.

I felt all the color in my face drain all the way to my pedicured toes but recovered quickly. I started smirking at him as he was looking at me with hunger in his eyes; I didn't think it was for the food either.

"Why? Do you want to find out?" I asked him with a wink.

I saw something snap in Jackson's face and he was in front on me on his knees in 30 seconds flat. He spread my legs and scooted me so that I was on the edge of my seat. I felt the heat radiating from his mid section as I looked into his eyes.

"Yeah, I do wanna find out and I wanna know if I'm going to have to kill a mother fucker that got inside that hot little body of yours," he replied.

I looked at him and licked my bottom lip.

"You don't have to kill anyone Jax, calm down killer."

Jackson grunted 'Uh Huh' and then leaned in to kiss me. It was a soft kiss at first, but as soon as I started kissing him back, Jax deepened it. I moaned as I lifted my hands to pull on his hair. Jax must have liked that because he groaned deep in his chest and trying to stick his tongue in my mouth. I gave in and opened my mouth as Jax slipped his tongue in. Jackson's hands started rubbing all over me and I couldn't breathe. I pulled away and Jax smiled at me.

"Are you ready to eat yet, Jax?"

"The food or you?"

"Both… JUST KIDDING! You said you'd feed me Jax!" I said as I smacked him lightly on the shoulder.

"Alright Darlin' come on lets go eat."

Jax grabbed the steaks and veggies from the grill and we headed inside.

"Why don't you have a girlfriend or a wife Jax? I mean you're really handsome, you have this whole house by yourself….isn't it lonely?" I asked him as I fixed his plate and brought it to the kitchen table. I heard him sigh as I sat down across from him with my plate.

"I was married a few years back to a junkie. We ended up separating after awhile but then tried to make it work because she was pregnant. I thought she was clean but apparently she wasn't. Wendy od'ed and then Abel passed a few weeks later. I've just been on my own ever since then. There have been a few girls here and there, I'm not gonna lie, but nothing serious. I want a family and I'm not trying to start one with any of the sweet butts or croweaters at the club. I want a nice girl but one with some fire to her too, they apparently are hard to find," he explained to me as he was eating. I thought about that for a minute. I knew that most of the motorcycle clubs had girls around that were just willing to throw themselves at anything that would give them attention. I didn't hear Jax say anything about having an Old Lady at all so I assumed he never had one to begin with.

"So…you've never had an Old Lady then?" Jax looked at me and started laughing.

"No I haven't Darlin'. Why? How do you even know about this stuff any way? You didn't shy away from me when we were in town and I had my cut on. What's up with that?"

"My parents are both sheriffs Jackson, I know what goes on. I don't get the gory details, just bits and pieces when I used to overhear them talking about work. I knew Charming had charter here. You being the VP doesn't bother me any, you have to do what you have to do. I don't know why I asked about you having an Old Lady, I just figured you'd have one."

"You have to trust your Old Lady. The only way a woman makes it being an Old Lady is you either tell them everything or you hide that part of yourself away from them every single day. Some women can handle it and others cant, it just depends. I've never been with anyone that I trusted completely to even think about letting them get my crow on them."

"What's that mean? 'Getting your crow'?" I asked him.

"That mean's that your someone's Old Lady. It's a tattoo saying you belong to someone and other guys in the club keep their fucking paws off. I'll show you Donna's. Her and Op came up with the design themselves then Happy added a spin on it, its cool as shit!"

'That sounds cool, I'd love to meet them," I'd love to get to know some other people in Charming. Just to have people to talk to and hang out with you know. I grab my plate and Jax's too, bring them to the sink and run the water to start the dishes.

"You cooked, I'll clean," I tell him.

"You wash, I'll rinse and put everything away later," he smiles at me and gets up to help me. Jax stands behind me, put his hands on hips and sets his head on my left shoulder.

"It's really nice having you here, Bear." he says as he kisses my neck and stands to the side to start rinsing.

"I like being here around you too, Jackson. It's been a long time since someone cooked a meal for me. I usually do all that stuff at home," I tell him frowning a little bit.

"What about your mom?"

"Pshh, yeah right. She's barely ever home, Jax. If she hadn't just transferred to Charming, I'd be at home taking care of Steph instead of hanging out with you right now. I doubt I'll get a day like this again any time soon. It sucks."

"So you've never had a boyfriend or anyone to hang out with at all? What do you do when Steph doesn't need your help with anything? What do you do with your free time?"

"Umm… no boyfriend. I think all the boys I've been in contact with have been intimidated by my parents or they think I'll snitch if they touch me, I don't know Jackson. I had a few friends back home but not as many as I should have for my age. It's kind of hard to get a group of friends to go to the mall when your mom has the security guard tailing you. I love to read, I like to write short stories too but I haven't written any in a long time. It's like I have a block in my mind or something."

"She had the guard tailing you? Seriously?! You are too beautiful not to have a boyfriend Shay. I'm pretty sure that will change at that high school sooner or later. Don't worry about it," he said smiling and shaking his head.

"Yeah, I'm serious. Sheriff Brenda trusts me to decorate a house from top to bottom but going to the mall? Oh no, call the FEDs. I don't know about that Jackson, I don't really like the guys at my school. I haven't been here long but still, I don't know. I guess I'm not really that interested."

"Why not?" Jax asked as he let the water out of the sink and handed me a towel to dry my hands.

" I guess it's because I know where I want to go with my life already. I want to be a teacher. I want to teach English to middle schoolers and then come home to a husband and a kid, possibly two, then have a beer and relax. I want parties every other weekend with family and friends, then just kick back and laugh about shit going on in our lives. Boys in high school just want to fuck you for a while then they get bored. They don't think about the future like I do. Or, get this, claim they like you so much but when you don't put out, they go after your best friend just to prove that they can get it anywhere. I'm over it," I exclaimed playing with the hand towel. I looked at Jax, he was leaning against the kitchen sink thinking about something. Then he walked toward me and took my hands into his own.

"Hey, you know that I'd never do that to you right? Fuck that guy for hurting you like that. He didn't realize where his bread was buttered. I wont let anyone hurt you like that Darlin'. As far as you and Steph always being alone, you two are more then welcome to come over and hang out with me whenever you want. It seems like your mom is taking advantage of you too and you're too good for that shit," Jax said as he pulled me in for a hug and kissed my forehead. I let a single tear fall down as I had been holding all of that in for the entire summer. Mom never once even asked why that douchebag Adam and my ex best friend Rachel stopped coming around. I don't know if she just didn't care or never truly paid any attention when it came to stuff like that. Jax pulled back and used his thumb to wipe my tears away.

"Hey, no tears Babe. You have me now. Go put some pants back on. We will cuddle on the couch and watch a movie or something," he kissed me and smiled which then made me smile.

"Okay, I'll be right back," he said.

I walked out of the kitchen down to that bathroom to get dressed. I took my suit off and hung it over the shower rod to dry. I used the restroom and rinsed my face off. I threw my pants and my bra back on. I went to grab my shirt from the floor when I saw a SAMCRO t-shirt on the back of the door. Smirking, I grabbed it, threw it on, and tied the extra length in a knot on the front of my stomach. I figured Jax wouldn't mind if I borrowed his shirt. Smiling to my self, I walked out of the bathroom back to the living room.

"Hey Teller, what movie did you pick out?" I asked as he was standing toward the TV with his wife beater and jeans back on.

"I thought that I'd let…..Holy shit. You just can't go surprising me looking all cute like that Babe," he told me as he let his eye grazes over the letters spread across my chest. You couldn't see much of any thing since it was a guys t-shirt but I'm pretty sure my C cups looked really nice in his shirt regardless.

"I figured you wouldn't mind if I borrowed your shirt." I smiled up at him.

"Yeah sure, go ahead, it looks good on you," he said as I sat down on the couch.

'It would look even better on the fucking floor though' I heard him say under his breath.

This is going to get really interesting.

NOTE

Wasn't that fun?!

- Ashley