Author's Note: Wow, that finale! I was inspired but it took a couple days to get this, hopefully, right. There were some lovely angsty moments in there for Garcy shippers. I fully intend to update my other fics but I'm still struggling a bit over Wyatt's actions. Makes it a bit difficult to write him sympathetically.

And So It Begins

Bunker, Present Day

Garcia gazed at her, momentarily dropping his shields and allowing her to see his desire. His thumb gently brushed her lips where his mouth had just been.

"But before you ask again, be very sure that you want to know."

With that Garcia walked out, leaving a stunned Lucy in his room. He saw the shell shocked expression on her face after he had kissed her. Had let her see the longing and desire he felt for her. It nearly killed him to walk away but he knew that if he hadn't, he would have swept her into his arms and showed her with his body the feelings his mouth couldn't yet verbalize. He wouldn't have been able to stop himself and Lucy wasn't ready for that.

All through that long cold night on the ground outside his door Garcia could feel the heat from her body as if she was still standing next to him. His hand still felt the smooth satin of her curls. His thumb the silkiness of her lips. He tossed and turned trying to find a comfortable position on the bunker floor while his mind told him that the only comfortable position to be found would be in his room, in his bed, beside the woman that haunted his mind. An hour before dawn, he finally gave up and took himself off to the bathroom for a long cold shower.

She avoided him for several days after that. He had expected it. Between him telling Lucy of her role in bringing the team together and his almost confession of his feelings, neither of them were quite ready for the L-word yet, Garcia had given her a lot to consider. He would be patient. He could give her the space that she needed. He found himself praying, to a God that he didn't really believe in, that somehow the space would be enough for Lucy to find her way back to him. Praying that he could keep her safe. Praying that God would make him worthy of her.

Garcia's only consolation was that she was giving Wyatt the same wide berth. She spoke to Rufus and Jiya, although not much. Lucy spent most of her time holed up in his room. He wasn't sure what she was doing, but he liked thinking of her there. Liked imagining her comfortable in his bed. Loved how the room smelled of her shampoo and lotion whenever he entered to get a change of clothing or a book. Still, as he entered the fifth day without so much as a word, a smile, or a glance from Lucy, Garcia was ready to jump out of his skin. He didn't think he had ever been this on edge before. He had replayed every moment of their interaction in his room a thousand times, second and third guessing every word that had come out of his mouth. Convinced that he had said too much too soon. He was just a few more hours of silence away from begging Rufus or Jiya, Jiya, she was the more sympathetic one, to give him any word of her. Or pass her a note. The little voice inside his mind kept taunting him. Highlighting all the ways that he was acting like a junior high student over his first crush. Pretty soon he was going to have to grow a pair and go a talk to Lucy. Find out for sure if he had ruined whatever it was that he had felt starting to grow between them.

Garcia's Room, Bunker, Present Day - Lucy's POV

Lucy stood, staring at nothing for a long time after Garcia left the room. When she finally moved, it was to pull on one of his sweaters and curl up on his bed. She hadn't known how to explain why she needed to know how he got her journal. Had just stormed into his room and started firing off questions. The explanation he had given her just lead to thousands more questions. Questions that were going to make her head explode.

When she had returned from 1981, she had been filled with a growing sense of dread. Lucy didn't know if it was that the knowledge that Rittenhouse, including her own mother, wanted her dead or a desire to figure out what this bond that she had with Garcia was. All she knew was that seeing how one different decision, an alternate choice, by Denise Christopher could have changed the lives of everyone in the bunker suddenly made her need to know how Garcia ended up with her journal. Why her future self chose to share her innermost thoughts with a man that, until a few months ago, she believed to be a cold blooded killer.

"But before you ask again, be very sure that you want to know."

Lucy sat now looking at that journal as Garcia's words kept going round and round inside her head. His tone so low and husky. His accent so strong. She wondered if that's the way he would sound in bed. Holy hell! That is not helping.

Firmly banishing all thoughts of Garcia Flynn in bed from her mind, Lucy set aside her journal and lay down to sleep. However, the knowledge that she was sleeping in Garcia's bed made evicting him from her thoughts impossible. She tossed and turned but couldn't seem to find a comfortable position. The evil little voice inside her brain kept pointing out that she had been so much more comfortable the night she spent held in his arms. She would doze off only to wake with the feel of his lips once more on hers. If she was honest with herself, which right now doesn't seem to be such a great idea, Lucy would have to admit that she wanted him to kiss her again. As dawn broke, exhaustion finally overcame her inner turmoil and she fell into a fitful sleep.

Lucy woke after two very short hours of sleep. As she, and her coffee deprived brain, staggered into the kitchen, she decided two things. One, she was going man free until she had this figured out. No longing looks, arguments, or the stilted politeness that passed for conversation, with Wyatt. No joking, no research, no drinking of any kind with Garcia. Denise, Rufus, Jiya, and Mason, they were ok. She would allow herself to interact with them. But no Wyatt and no Garcia. Best to avoid Jessica as well because seeing Jessica led to thinking of Wyatt. Two, she needed to write in that damn journal. Writing was just that, writing. She didn't have to give the journal to anyone. But Lucy was cautious enough to wonder what if Garcia was telling the truth about how he got her journal. If that journal really was what started all of this, the fight against Rittenhouse, then what would happen if she never wrote it? Or was killed before she wrote it?

Feeling only marginally better now that she had made a partial decision, Lucy fixed herself a large cup of coffee and a plate of food and returned to Garcia's room to write. Days passed where, except for meals and bathroom breaks, she didn't leave his room. She decided she wasn't going to look at the original journal. She just wasn't ready for that. She would write this herself, she could always consult her future self's journal later. So she wrote draft after draft trying to get her wording just right before actually entering her thoughts into the journal itself.

Oddly enough it was Wyatt's words to her at the Alamo about writing from the heart that made her scrap all of her drafts and just think about what she wanted to convey to Garcia. After all, she was writing to him. As Lucy pictured him in her mind, strong, angry, broken, and yet tender, at least where she was concerned, she picked up her pen and words started to flow across the page.

Garcia,

I'm sorry. So sorry that I have to do this to you. I never knew you before Rittenhouse came into our lives. Don't know what sort of man you were. But I think that you must have been a very good man because I can see shades of that man even now. I know what Rittenhouse has taken from you and I ache for the pain that they have inflicted on you. I'm afraid that I am about to do the same.

In this journal, I will lay out what you need to do to take down Rittenhouse. But in embarking on this path, you will lose something of yourself. At times, you will have to do horrible things. Things that will change who you are. But it is necessary so that one day we can work together to bring about their end.

There is no more to say except that I hope someday you will forgive me.

Lucy

Once she had apologized, because it was her words that started Garcia on his path of destruction, Lucy found that it was easy to begin to document the theft of the lifeboat. She wrote down everything that she knew about his plan. His accomplices. Their early missions. She silently begged God to forgive her for the innocent lives that her words would end. She couldn't see any other way.

Finally Lucy had enough. She had made a start and was just too heartsick to continue. The walls of the room seemed to be closing in on her and she had to get out or lose her mind. She practically ran down the hallway and into the kitchen. Anything to escape that room and the thoughts inside her head. Finding Jiya was a relief.

Catching up on all bunker gossip was a welcome distraction. Jiya's description of Wyatt as a sulking toddler both amused and annoyed Lucy. She meant it when she told Wyatt that it was none of his business what she did. Well mostly meant it. Hearing about Garcia brooding and being concerned and on edge bothered her somewhat more. Still she doubted that either man had really behaved that badly.

She surreptitiously surveyed Wyatt and Garcia over dinner. The first meal that she had eaten with the team in days. Wyatt did appear to be a tad on the sullen side and he seemed more irritable than usual. Garcia, on the other hand, was quiet. Too quiet. He looked like he hadn't been sleeping much and his ever present smirk was nowhere in sight. The one time he met her gaze, Lucy was struck by the worry and pain she saw in his eyes. The were going to have to talk. But it was going to be tomorrow before that occurred. She needed tonight to … she just needed tonight.

Garcia's Room, Bunker, Next Morning

Garcia entered his room. Lucy was out. He had watched her head to the kitchen for breakfast before coming in for a change of clothing. It had been good to see her at dinner. He was glad that she felt comfortable joining the team for meals again. He longed to follow her back to his room last night after dinner but had reminded himself to give her space. He was going to let her be the one to seek him out if it killed him, and it just might if she didn't talk to him soon.

He straightened as he heard the door shut. He turned and there she was. Lucy. Looking so beautiful. Fuck. What is she doing in here? He gave her a brief smile and turned back to his locker. He would get his clothing and get out of her space. He would …

"Garcia, we need to talk."

The very words that he had longed to hear now struck fear in his veins. He wasn't ready to hear what she was going to say. He should have never kissed her. Should have hidden his desire. He drew in a deep breath. He turned to face her. Determined to hear Lucy out and then make his escape. God she looks amazing.

Lucy walked toward him. The look in her eyes was warm. Tentative but warm. Somehow her hand was on his arm. Her touch burning through his clothing like red hot coals.

"I'm sorry for the way I came to you the other day. I shouldn't have just demanded answers like that. It's just that …"

He reached out and lightly caressed her cheek. Raising her eyes up to meet his. Garcia wanted Lucy to know the truth of what he was about to say.

"There's no need to apologize. You have every right to know. I should have told you sooner but I didn't want to burden you with it. You've been through so much already and I didn't want to add to that."

Lucy shook her head and smiled at him.

"No. I needed to know. Thinking about all of the things that could have changed if Agent Christopher had made a different choice … it just made me need to know."

She stepped into him so their bodies were lightly touching and Garcia put his arms around her. They tightened and he let out a breath he hadn't known he was holding when he heard Lucy's next words.

"I started writing in the journal. I haven't read the original. Haven't decided if I want to."

She looked up at him and smiled and Garcia thought his heart was going to pound right out of his chest. How could she not know that it was hers. That he was her's if she'd have him.

Lucy's hand cupped his cheek and she stretched up onto her tip-toes. Her hand brought his mouth down to hers and she was kissing him. A jolt of electricity went through him at the touch of her lips. It was over all to quickly. She was drawing back slightly. Her eyes clouded with desire. Whatever this was Lucy felt it too.

"I want to know, but I'm not sure that I'm quite ready to ask yet."

Her voice was so soft. Her smile so hesitant. If he hadn't been in love before, Garcia knew that he was now. It was all over for him. This brave, strong, broken woman before him would be the rest of his life.

He smiled as he told her "It's all right. I'll wait."

Garcia was just pulling her closer. Head tilted down, lips brushing Lucy's. He felt her arms tighten around his back. Heard her soft sigh of pleasure and then the door opened.

"Hey guys, Agent Christopher … Whoops, sorry. Um, Agent Christopher wants us all in the kitchen for a meeting. Again, so sorry. Leaving now."

Jiya, red-faced and stammering slightly, delivered her news and left as quickly as she had entered. Garcia pulled Lucy tighter against him for a brief moment and pressed a gentle kiss into her hair before turning her loose.

"Let's go draga. Time for more fun and games."