Say You Love Me
Chapter 14
I knew I wouldn't be so lucky. Today had gone perfectly until I pulled in front of Brenda's house to drop Stephanie off. Her truck was parked in the driveway and she was sitting on the porch smoking a cigarette.
"You sure she won't do anything?" Steph asked me.
"No she won't. I'll walk you to the door," I told her as I got out of the truck and took her bag with me. Steph took my hand as we walked towards the front door.
"Thank you for letting me go with you today," she said with a hug.
"No problem Kid, anytime you want," I told her as handed her the bag. She walked up to Brenda before she said anything.
"Are you alright Stephanie?" Brenda asked with a serious face.
"Yeah, I had so much fun. I just didn't want to be alone today. Please don't be mad at Shay," Steph explained.
"I understand that. Go inside and get ready for bed. I need to talk to your sister and then I'll be there in a minute," Steph turned around and headed inside.
"Where did you take her?" she asked as soon as the door was closed.
"Thanksgiving dinner at Gemma's. I was invited and when she called me crying saying that you were leaving her alone on yet another holiday, I figured it would be best if she came with me," I told her.
"Was Jackson there?" she asked with a sneer.
"Does it matter?"
"Does it ma…does it matter!? Of course it matters! They are dangerous!"
"YOU don't even know him!"
"I know all about him and what he does! How he does it and how he gets the shit to do what he does! Your father knew all about that!"
"What does dad have to do with any of this?!" I asked honestly confused.
"Everything. Your father has everything to do with this and the reason I don't want you or Stephanie around that club," she told me as she put her cigarette out.
"You need to tell me what the hell you're talking about. You can't just give me an ultimatum and expect me to do what you want or see your point of view in all of this, if you aren't even going to tell me the truth!" I told her frustrated.
She took a deep breath and looked toward the door making sure it was closed all the way.
"What I am about to tell you can not get back to Stephanie. Do you understand? It will confuse her and she will probably seek him out and I don't want her to have this conversation with him. All he will do is make excuse after excuse like he did with me for years and I'm not going to allow that to happen with Stephanie. I will talk to her eventually but not right now. I never even wanted either one of you to know any of this but for her own sake…she doesn't hear any of this right now, understand?"
"You lost the right to tell me what I can and cannot tell MY SISTER when you punched me in the face and told me to stay away from her. I'll decide what I will or will not tell Steph," I told her. She's not manipulating me any more.
"Fine, but you'll end up agreeing with me anyway."
"Whatever! Now what's going on?"
"Your father...is a dirty cop, Shay."
"Dirty how?" I asked.
"Dirty like he helps the IRA smuggle Russian made guns into the United States and gets a cut for it that's how," she said. My mouth dropped.
"You can't be serious?!" I told her. That doesn't make any sense.
"Yes I am serious. He's been dirty for years! I found out what he was doing when I was pregnant with you. You ever wonder how come you and Stephanie both have my last name, and my last name alone instead of your fathers? I took his last name when we were first married but I had it changed before you were born and never told him," she told me. I just stood there with my mouth just and listened, as my face got even paler. Brian O'Downey…Shay and Stephanie O'Downey… well that's just a dead Irish giveaway.
"Your grandmother that you never get to see because I wouldn't get on a plane to take you to see her? She lives in Ireland. Ever wonder why it was that when she would send you birthday cards, Christmas cards, you never saw the envelope with the return address on it?" I still couldn't say anything.
"Why do you think I divorced him!?" She yelled.
"I don't know probably because he got caught with his pants around his ankles with the new secretary at the post. If you knew all of this why didn't you divorce him sooner?" I said.
"I loved him! I was young and stupid! What do you want me to say? We met in college. I was a young black girl from the ghetto and he was this blonde, blue-eyed catch, something I'm sure you know all about, but he just…he was different back then, and that secretary? Yeah…that added to it but no. He told me that he'd stop helping the IRA, he promised me that he would by a certain time and he didn't. Then I got pregnant with Stephanie and I wanted to stay and give it another shot but he just kept saying the same thing. 'It's not the right time' he would always say. I asked him one last time to distance himself from them for this family and HE CHOOSE THEM over us! So I did what I had to do, I filed for divorce and as soon as he signed those papers, I did what I needed to do to get us the hell out of there and away from that shit. I've seen what the IRA can do to someone who gets in their way or is no longer useful and I was not about to have you or Stephanie anywhere around that. Cutting off people's heads, taking peoples children and then selling them into adoption for profit. Who does that shit? I got far enough away so that you guys could have a relationship with him if you wanted but if any shit went down, we were clear. Also, I wanted to keep my name clear of all his shit. I value my job, I take what I do seriously and I will not let anyone jeopardize my livelihood, " She explained. I still don't get why she doesn't want me around Jax.
"Okay so dad is a piece of shit who likes to cheat on his wife and is also a dirty cop. What does that have to do with Jackson and his club?" I asked her. She took another cigarette out, lit it and started to chuckle.
"He didn't tell you what he does, did he?" I already knew about the guns and heroin, Old Lady privilege and all that.
"I know what I am suppose to know and anything that I ask gets answered honestly," I told her. Apparently she thought that Jax would have kept me in the dark because the smirk she had dropped from her face.
'The guns that your father helps illegally smuggle into the United States…go straight to the fucking Sons of Anarchy, Shay." Jesus fucking Christ. I shook my head. I couldn't believe this shit.
"For them to sell to the Mayans, The Cartel, The One-Niners and anyone else that's willing to cut a damn check for them. I've dug up enough shit to know where those guns were going."
"So that's why you freaked out so bad when you saw me at the clubhouse?" I asked. She nodded.
"Yeap, and it doesn't matter if you were at the clubhouse visiting Gemma, Clay, Opie or Jackson. If they are part of that club, they are tied to the IRA, which is tied to your father and guess where that leads? Right back to the God damn IRA! I thought I left all that shit behind but apparently I just dragged you right back into it." She told me. I still couldn't believe any of this shit.
"You never got hurt because of Dad right? Nothing happened to you."
"Yeah you're right, but your father isn't on either you or Stephanie's birth certificate but it is documented that I was married to him and had two children during the time we were married. It doesn't matter if I'm his ex wife, he still has two kids that God knows what could happen to because he's still in bed with those Irish pricks."
"I'm pretty sure Jax can protect me."
"You honestly think he's going to be able to protect you? Or want to be dragged into this shit? Or want anything to do with you since your tied to the IRA through your piece of shit father?! Are you that naïve? This is why I asked you to stay away from Stephanie. I can't protect you if you deliberately put yourself in harms way by associating with the SONS!" she asked.
"I'm not naïve! AND I'M NOT TIED TO ANYTHING! My father is, who I have no plan of contacting ever again now that I know this shit and you know I can't stay away from her! I RAISED HER! She will never sever contact with me. "
"You have two men that you are associated with. One is your father and the other one is whatever you two are, both of who are associated with the IRA. If something goes wrong on either end, what makes you think that it won't all cave in and put you in harms way?"
"Because Brenda…I have someone that would gladly end a life if they did me any harm, and if someone did hurt me I doubt they would be alive very much longer to tell the tale," I told her as I turned around and walked to my truck.
"Shay!" she yelled. I stopped walking when I got to my truck and turned to her.
"Stephanie doesn't hear a word of this conversation, I know." I said as I started my truck and headed home. All the dirt that came with my father's name, all because of his greed, had the possibility to shit on the rest of my life. I wouldn't let him hurt Steph like he had hurt my mother and I. I'm not telling her, I can't but I am telling Jackson. I'm not keeping this from him. I don't think that it would be a good idea for anyone but him to know for now. The conversation that Brenda and I just had cleared up a lot of things. I understood where she was coming from, which is why I had to tell Jax. Brenda must have forgotten the fact that Steph was more like me then her; she knew that we were having an important conversation and Steph needed to know what was going on. Neither one of us, Brenda or I, imagined that Steph would open my old bedroom window and listen to everything that we had just said.
I got home to an empty house. Jax had left me a note on the pillar that lead into the living room that there was something going on with the club and he'd be back later. I texted him that I was home and then went to take as shower. I hate how this day started out so well then turned to complete shit. At least Brenda had told me the truth. I thought about everything she had told me about my father as I washed myself. I mean I knew he didn't talk about his family much because he wanted to keep his Irish ties away from us but it seemed like his dealings with the IRA completely contradicted everything that he tried to keep us all away from. I got out of the shower, threw some lotion on and slipped on one of Jax's shirts. I crawled into bed and was halfway through a book when I heard him come in the front door. He must have stripped off his clothes in the hall because when he came in the room, he only had his jeans on.
"Hey Baby," he told me with a kiss.
"Hi, everything alright with the club babe?" I asked.
"For the most part. Everyone's whole, that pretty much all we can ask for these days," he told me as he slipped into bed. Jackson pulled my hair out of my bun and started to massage my scalp. That's so relaxing. I pulled away from him and set my book down.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"I have to tell you something. I found out what my mother's real issue with you and the club is. I don't think it will affect our relationship because it honestly has nothing to do with me but I just think it's better if you know everything," I told him. He sat up and looked at me seriously.
"What's going on?"
I explained everything to him that I could about what Brenda had told me. I gave as much detail as I could without giving away my father's name and any information that didn't apply to Jackson.
"Okay so your dad is crooked and helps gets guns from the IRA into the states. That doesn't mean that we deal with him.
"He gets the guns on the truck, sets a meet with the SONS for them to sell them to the Mayans, The Cartel, The One-Niners and whomever else wants them…am I right?"
"Yes…shit. Shay, what's your fathers name?" Here it goes…
"My father's name is Brian O'Downey." I told him as I looked down.
"Jesus Christ…we deal with O'Downey every single time there is a drop. You could have told me he was your father."
"I didn't know that my dad was a crooked bastard and I was never planning on talking to him for the rest of my life anyway so there wasn't a need to mention details about him until now! Brenda was smart when she found out what he was doing. His name isn't on either of our birth certificates. She did change her last name to O'Downey when she married him, but legally had it changed back to Parker before I was born. The only record of my father being tied to me is the fact that there's documentation that Brenda was married to him and that she gave birth to two children during the marriage. That's it." I told him as my hands started to shake. He took my hands within his own and just held them.
"Relax, it's okay. That was very smart thinking on her part and I do understand why she has done everything that she has done but it doesn't matter that he's your father. Things between the SONS and the IRA are going just fine right now and if anything were to happen you are under club protection. You won't have to worry about anything."
"Gemma taught me how to shoot while you were inside. I know where all the guns are in the house in case I ever need one."
"Well damn, remind me not to piss you off." I laughed; I think that's what he was trying to do.
"There's that smile I love so much," he told me with a kiss.
"Jax, I don't want to tell anyone about any of this. I just don't want his last name attached to me. I don't want the sins of my father following me around in any way," I told him as we laid down.
"What happens in this room stays in this room. Next time I come in contact with O'Downey, I'll act the exact same way that I have been. He won't know that I even know you and we will keep it that way for as long as we can."
"Thank you, Jackson" I told him as my eyes started to flutter.
"No problem, Babe. You need to go to bed now. I love you."
"I love you too, Jax"
It looks like Brenda still doesn't know a damn thing about what my Jackson would do.
NOTE
I just want to take the time to thank my reviewers! I know that you guys don't have to do that but I appreciate that you do. I will never be one of those writers that hold chapters hostage until I get a certain number of reviews! That irritates the hell out of me when people do that.
India – guest: Clay is always an asshole. Even when things are going his way, that's just how he is. Shay is mixed with black and Irish. I added in some more dialogue between her and her mother to point that out again. Shay is the parent figure in Steph's life because honestly Stephanie wasn't planned. Brenda didn't want to bring any more children into the madness that Brian was doing. By the time Brenda found out about Brian helping the IRA she was well into her pregnancy with Shay. So she did the best she could. Had she not have had Steph, she would have split along time ago. However, Stephanie added to the fact that she waited and waited to leave Brian. She tried to keep her marriage and family together without damaging her career as well. Brian, isn't like Brenda, he honestly just didn't give a shit and said what she wanted to hear so that she'd back off. I like Stephanie's charterer, she adds that little bit of innocents to the story and plus everyone just loves her! Don't worry though; Brenda will get her shit together.
Angelicedg: Thank you! It's just bruised now but it's doing okay!
Anniesandersheart: Well thank you, I'm glad you like it!