Chapter 5: The Winged Halo

July 10, 2024 - Four months ago.

Seijiou Kikuoka looked across his desk at the petite girl who walked in to the interview room. He stood and greeted her warmly.

"Ah, thank you again for coming in, Miss Watanabe. I have your tea ready." The teacup was already filled and sitting in a saucer near the edge of the desk. He sat back down. "I apologize for inviting you back yet again so soon."

Sachi made herself comfortable in the familiar round chair. "Oh no, sir, it's no trouble at all. The first time here I was pretty nervous, but now I don't mind these interviews all. I enjoy chatting with you." She picked up the teacup and sipped it.

"That's wonderful, and I am glad to hear it."

Sachi put down her teacup. "So, Mr. Kikuoka, what did you want to ask me about?"

"Miss Watanabe, have you ever heard of a player named Silica, age 12? We think she might be a beast tamer.

Sachi thought a moment. "No, I don't know that name, sorry."

"Well, it was a bit of a long shot, but I needed to ask." A member of an orange guild called Titan's Hand had died recently during their attempt to escape from the prison on Floor 1. Back in February he and his friends had attempted to steal a valuable item from the little girl, and he claimed that Kirito had intervened to stop them. The thief's claim that Kirito was some kind of invulnerable superhuman seemed rather far-fetched, but the story needed to be checked out.

She looked down. "I wish I could have been of more help."

Kikuoka relaxed and loosened his tie a bit. "Oh, it's fine. You have been most helpful in many other ways, Miss Watanabe. Thanks to the information that you have provided us so far, we are now creating a detailed profile on Mr. Kazuto Kirigaya. I must say, the profile differs quite a bit from the public image that lad is intentionally projecting to the other players."

Sachi leaned forward. "Oh, I know sir. He's such a good person. He was just trying to protect the other beta-players by drawing their ire on himself."

"Yes, he made himself a deliberate scapegoat."

"A scapegoat?"

"Are you not familiar with the term?"

"No, sir."

"Well, it refers to a person that is made to bear the blame for others. According to the Old Testament in the Bible, on the Day of Atonement a priest would confess all the sins of the Israelites over the head of a goat, then drive it into the wilderness to bear the sins away."

"I see. I take it, sir, that you believe in God?"

"Well, yes, I do. My family was killed in a plane crash when I was very young.* As an orphan I led a rather difficult life."

Kikouka's case was typical. Only one in eight orphans in Japan ever found foster homes or adoptive parents.** The vast majority were warehoused for life in state-run orphanages, in rows of beds in open floors, with little or no privacy. Many of the children developed emotional problems because they lost the opportunity to bond with adults. And once they left they often could not find employment and ended up homeless.***

"I was very lucky. A pair of Christian missionaries decided to take me in as a foster child when I was 3. They had seven other kids, three of them their own. It was a pretty raucous bunch, I must say. I converted at age 7."

"I see. I'm happy that you found a home, sir, but..."

"Yes?"

Sachi looked down and said quietly, "I don't think I could believe in a god who sends good people to hell."

Kikuoka chuckled and leaned back in his chair, "Yes, that is probably the number one objection of atheists. That and the whole Young Earth thing."

"Young Earth?"

"The idea that the Earth was created 6000 years ago in six literal 24-hours days."

"I take it you don't believe that?"

"Well, no. It's mainly a canard tossed out by atheists to try to denigrate believers. That is why you see it brought up in the media all the time. But if you take a poll of actual evangelicals, you will find that very few believe that. In fact, more atheists believe in the existence of UFOs than there are Young Earth creationists."

"Why don't they?"

"The reason is simple: It is not Biblical."

"It isn't?"

"No, it's not."

He decided to indulge the inquisitive girl, so he went on with his explanation.

"That 6000 year timeline was actually cooked up in 1642 by a guy named James Ussher. He did a basic misreading of Peter. What he did was simple. Peter wrote, With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.*4 God created the world in 6 days, a day to God is a 1000 years, so 6 times 1000 years = 6000 years, QED. But that's not what Peter wrote. He wrote a thousand years is like a day to Him, not that it literally was. That is why I think those 6000 year timelines and 24 hour creation clocks are silly. All they do is merely diminish His true majesty and glory, as is so plainly manifested in what He actually created: a Universe over 43 billion light years across, with over 100 billion galaxies, each with 100 billion stars, and all visible to us so that we can see and appreciate the whole thing as lowly humans, in all its majestic glory."

"So you are saying he was trying to downsize God's creation, make it smaller than it really is?"

"Oh, I don't think that was Ussher's deliberate intention. He was just a man who was using the best information available at the time. The point is, before we jump into arguments about whether Creation was made in seven literal 24-hour sidereal days or not, we as believers need to remember that we need to tread very carefully in dealing with matters concerning what the Lord wrought before we existed. God chewed out Job pretty hard for it*5. We lowly humans need to be very, very careful when we presume to know what God is thinking. Who can understand His unfathomable mind?*6 All we know for certain is that He loves us and He wants a relationship with us."

"I see. But, sir, I still don't understand. If He loves us then why does God send people to hell?"

My, the girl certainly has a knack for asking the tough questions. Still, she deserves an honest answer.

"Ah, yes, that is the other big objection. Tell me, Miss Watanabe, when you think about Hell, what do you imagine it is like?"

She tried to think. "Uhm, isn't the western concept of Hell supposed to be a bunch of red devils with sharp horns and pointy pitch-forks, Satan torturing the damned, and things like that?"

"Well, yes, that is the common popular misconception in the West. You see, during Medieval times most people were illiterate, and the priests only spoke Scripture at Mass in Latin, which was an otherwise dead language by that time. The imagery that you are describing originally came from popular sources like Dante's Inferno. And that imagery was very vivid. Neither Dante as an author nor Inferno were ever proscribed by the Church as far as I know*7, and I don't think the Church particularly dissuaded that notion either."

"So there are no red devils with pointy pitchforks then?"

"No, not at all. The word Satan comes from the word Shaitan, which literally means 'accuser'. The purpose of demons, of devils, including the Evil One himself, is to tempt and to mislead the living, to try to lead us all astray, and then to condemn us or convict us whenever they succeed. Their business is with the living, not the dead."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, I admit I might be wrong. But you can go read the Bible for yourself. There is nothing that I can find anywhere in Scripture that says that devils or demons torture the dead. Actually, it is rather the opposite."

"The opposite?"

"Yes. Satan was dropped into the Lake of Fire*8. He never ruled it. That is a popular misconception that is 100% un-Biblical."

"But Mr. Kikuoka, sir, with respect, you have not answered my original question. Why does God throw people in Hell? That doesn't make any sense to me. Why would a loving God do that?

My, she certainly asks the tough ones, doesn't she?

"Well, Miss Watanabe, that is a very good question, and it's a very understandable one. Atheists jump on it all the time. You see..."

The the speaker crackled. "Mr. Kikuoka, your next appointments are still waiting."

Kikuoka checked his watch. "Oh dear. Well, as much as I'd love to explore your most excellent question some more with you today, I am afraid that I do have some other interviewees waiting outside, so I don't think we have the time."

Sachi looked a bit disappointed. "Oh, that's too bad. I was rather curious to hear your opinion."

Kikouka stood up, as did Sachi. "I tell you what, let's talk about this more some other time."

He walked around the desk to escort her out. "We are still working on cross-correlating the information that you gave us with other interviewees. I'll summon you again when we need you, and then we can explore your questions some more. Would you like that?"

"Thank you sir, I think I would."

He smiled at her. "Goodbye." He closed the door behind her.

That poor girl, she does not have a friend in this world.

Lord, please protect her, show her Your love...

... and let her know that she is not alone.

The next day Sachi sat down by herself at a small table in the hospital cafeteria with her dinner tray. She started to slurp some ramen noodles from a small paper cup.

Two nursing aides were already sitting at a booth not far from her table. They had not seen her and were talking in quiet voices.

The first aide asked, "So, how's life in Recovery and Counseling these days?"

The second one put down her chopsticks. "I just hate it. Those people are like walking time bombs. You can just see it in their eyes."

The first replied, "Well, you should have enough seniority to be able to transfer to the sleep wards soon."

"Yeah, I'm counting the days on my calendar. Nice and quiet."

"It is."

Then she added, "It would be prefect if it wasn't for that pesky VRDP volunteer girl."

The second one leaned forward and said, "I know. She's always wandering around the wards. As soon as I hear her coming I have to drop my magazine and pretend like I'm working."

The first one nodded. "I don't like her either. If an IV feed gets crooked or a rotation is missed she harps on it like nobody's business."

"Well, I'm sure she'll be gone soon. Mark my word, one day she will crack. You'll see. She will grab a scalpel and slit someone's throat. Then she'll be gone."

"Good, just as long as it's not my throat."

"You said it."

Sachi quietly got up and left.

August 28, 2024 - Three months ago.

It was late in the afternoon. The girl who had no friends was standing in the upstairs hallway of the Kirigaya residence. She knocked on the closed bedroom door and said quietly, "It's me."

Kazuto's step-sister opened it. "Oh, good. I wasn't sure you got my message. Come on in."

Sachi's voice was emotionless. "You wanted to see me." It was a statement, not a question.

Suguha tried to sound gracious. "Yeah, please, come in. I wasn't sure you'd come. I'm glad you received my text."

"I got it."

Suguha continued to be magnanimous. "I didn't know your cell number so I snuck downstairs yesterday and got a peek at Mom's phone. I hope you didn't mind the unsolicited text message while I was at school."

At first Suguha had intended to send her SMS text message with the privacy setting turned on, but at the last moment she had changed her mind and included her own cell number in the message. She knew that Sachi would never have presumed to ask her for her own number, so this way she now had it without asking.

"No, it's fine."

"Well come in then."

Sachi hesitated.

"Hey, I won't bite. We're cool now, remember? Come in."

Sachi changed her mind and tried to make her excuses. "I just remembered I need to start working on dinner." She turned to go back downstairs.

Before Sachi could take another step, Suguha lunged and grabbed her by the shoulder. "Look, please, just get in here."

The girl came in as ordered.

Suguha closed the door behind her. As she did so she made a silent sigh.

Cinderella was now standing obediently before her. Her arms were extended down and crossed politely in front of her work skirt, her eyes averted.

Hoo boy, just look at her.

Suguha could tell that Sachi had been losing weight. She was too thin now, even for her naturally slender build, and with her unkempt hair and rumpled clothes she could see that Sachi wasn't grooming herself properly either.

Oy. Why did she have to keep it a secret? Mom, I could have warned you.

Suguha continued to welcome the sullen girl to her inner sanctum - the Holy of Holies of a teenage girl. She made a friendly gesture towards the rolling chair that was under her small computer desk. "Please, sit here."

Sachi shook her head. "No, I can stand."

"Let's sit together and chat. Hey, you want a fig newton?"

"No thank you."

Suguha frowned. "Please, it's okay. Sit."

"No, really.."

Suguha's graciousness had its limits. "Sit. Down." She gently but firmly pushed Sachi's shoulders. Sachi didn't resist and sat. Suguha then sat on the double bed next to her.

Sachi looked up. "All right. So what do you want from me?"

"Look, we need to talk."

"Talk?"

"Yes. You need to snap out of it."

Sachi looked down and did not respond.

Suguha sighed, "I know. It's not your fault. Mom was an idiot. She can be total doofus sometimes."

Sachi looked up and tried to defend Suguha's mother. "She was just trying to be nice to me. Cheer me up..."

Suguha waved her hand in dismissal. "Pshaw. Look, if it was me in that situation I would have been jumping off a bridge after that."

It was because three weeks earlier Midori had thrown Sachi a huge surprise party for her sixteenth birthday. She had been planning it for weeks and had pulled out all the stops: a big professionally decorated birthday cake, elaborate ribbons, streamers, banners, confetti poppers, party hats, and with as many co-workers as she could forcibly drag from her office.

It backfired. They were all strangers who were cajoled or bribed to be there.

Sachi had tried to put on a brave front, but after 20 minutes she broke down. She tried to run out the front door, but the path was obstructed with guests. She then turned and tried to flee through the kitchenette and out the back way, but the route was clogged with more sullen office workers who were huddled in a circle mooching on the party trays and talking among themselves with muted voices. Eventually she wrested herself out of Midori's grasping hands and fled upstairs.

Suguha had heard everything through her open bedroom door. She quickly waved Sachi inside and closed the door.

Realizing her blunder, Midori dismissed the guests and went up and knocked on the door.

Suguha swung the door open and angrily told her mother to get lost, then slammed the door in front of her mother's face. Midori realized that she had already done enough damage and went back downstairs.

Meanwhile, Sachi was laying prone on the bed. Her tears were pouring out on Suguha's pillow.

Suguha quietly sat next to her prone figure. She gently placed her hand on the small of her heaving back.

Finally she asked softly, "You want me to kill her for you?"

Sachi continued to cry.

"I can use a +3 halberd, or maybe a +4 mace?"

Suguha learned toward her ear and whispered, "Hey, I bet Kazuto must have some kind of fancy +8 sword by now." She stood up. "Yep. That's what I'll do. I am going over to the hospital to borrow one of my brother's fancy swords, then I will come back. I'll assume first stance, then hold that sword in the jodan no kamae position. Or maybe ko gasumi, or perhaps te ura gasumi - I haven't decided yet. Anyway, whichever finishing move I pick, I will then use it to absolutely kill my mother. Don't worry, I will be quick and efficient." She mused, "Humm. I'm not sure where I'm going to hide the body. Sachi, you got any suggestions for me?"

It worked. Sachi stopped crying and turned her head. "Don't do that..."

Suguha jumped up and said brightly. "Well, I'm off. I'll be right back!" She left the room.

Sachi sat up and rubbed her face.

Wait, she was kidding, right?

Just before Sachi decided to follow her, the kendo expert had returned. She was holding a small empty plate and a glass of milk. With her free hand she slid open her top dresser drawer and pulled out a bag of fig newtons that was hidden under her folded clothes. She dumped several newtons on the plate, and then she sat next to the distraught girl.

Suguha handed her the plate. "Here, eat one."

Sachi said shyly, "Thank you." She ate.

"Have another." She did.

"They're great with milk. Here." Sachi accepted the glass and took a sip.

Suguha poured the rest of the fig newtons on the plate, with a couple falling on the floor. "Here, eat 'em all."

"Uh.."

Suguha then leaned next to her and whispered, "You realize this is part of my evil plot to get you hooked on 'em. Eventually they will have to roll your fat butterball butt down the steps." She laughed theatrically, "It's working! Bwahahahaha!"

And Sachi smiled.

Sachi was still smiling inwardly to herself as she remembered how Suguha had tried to cheer her up on that awful day three weeks ago.

But it was only temporary. Three weeks later and she was again sitting in Suguha's room, and she was thinner than ever.

Suguha knew she needed to do something more drastic. She had invited her here to try to cheer her up some more, but now she realized that she had no idea what she was going to say.

Suguha tried to think quickly.

What do I say?

Should I just say, 'Hey, let's be friends' now?

No, that would sound patronizing. She wouldn't believe me anyway.

Suguha knew that the lonely girl was spiraling down and would probably crash soon. She really needed a friend, but the list was short. She had already dismissed her own foolish mother from the list.

Kazuto hadn't woken up yet. Everything was in a holding pattern.

Unless something happened soon to alter the situation, she knew that Sachi would probably end up in the hospital again.

There was no one else. If it would be anyone, it had to be herself.

But should she?

Suguha tried to think through the possibilities.

Okay, let's see. Let's say Kazuto wakes up and he says he's gotten over her. They shake hands and they go their separate ways and that's it, everything is chill. I simply gain a nice friend. Easy.

But she's a VRDP, and VRDPs are all definitely messed up psychologically. No question about it. Her Cinderella behavior is an unhealthy sign. And she's so obsessive about Kazuto.

Hmm. What if all her selfless devotion is all just an act? What if she is just trying to win Mom over to her side?

If that's true then her plan has already worked. Mom is very likely going to play matchmaker as soon as Kazuto wakes up. Two years later and she will probably be measuring that girl's wedding gown.

Ugh!

Is it possible? Did she deliberately trick Mom? If so then she's smarter than she looks. Well, she is a computer geek, and I got a glimpse of her Individual Study report card with those high marks. Yeah, she could pull it off.

Okay, what is the worse case scenario then? She's a hidden psycho, a yandere. He dumps her, and she cracks. Six months later she is cradling his severed head while sitting in a nice boat babbling to herself.

Could something like that happen? She's a VRDP, and they've been known to snap without warning.

She felt a jolt of adrenalin in her stomach.

Ugh! In that case I need to watch her closely. Conclusion: Become her friend.

Next scenario: He wakes up, discovers she is alive, and he is overjoyed after having played solo for a couple years because of her. They are older now, 16, maybe 17, mature enough to enter into a real relationship. Mom is thrilled, plays matchmaker again, and... and...

Double ugh! The adrenalin jolt was even stronger.

I think I know her better than Kazuto does, although I admit I need to learn more about her. I have to tell him about how obsessive she can be. If he falls for her hard...

I need to warn him!

Okay, think, Just think. If that girl and I weren't already chummy he might think that I was just being petty or had some dumb jealousy thing going on. He wouldn't believe me. Not unless...

Conclusion: Become her friend.

Suguha quickly ran through a bunch of other scenarios in her head. They all pointed the same way.

Become her friend.

But how?

They would need shared experiences, to bond over something.

But what?

Sachi was still waiting patiently for Suguha to begin. She wracked her brain while trying desperately to think of what to say.

But then Sachi herself came to her rescue.

From her chair the girl was idly looking around Suguha's bedroom. Eventually she pointed at an object that was sitting on her dresser. "Hey, what is that hoop thing?"

Suguha froze. An image formed in her mind of a slim graceful girl with wings.

She smiled.

Suguha got up and picked up her AmuSphere visor that was laying on top of the dresser. It had wear marks from months of use. "There is a VRMMO game that I started playing about seven months ago. It's called ALfheim Online, or ALO for short." She put down her visor and picked up a second one that was still enclosed in its clear hardshell box. "I bought two of them, one for me and one for a friend of mine so we could play together and then compare notes at my computer, but he chickened out."

Suguha recalled Shinichi sitting in the same chair where Sachi was sitting now, with his face turning white at the suggestion of diving into ALO while physically being in the same room. He was already nervous about entering a girl's bedroom, and he had absolutely freaked at her suggestion.

Shinichi knew the game well, but he had difficulty communicating over the link. Suguha was always forced to prompt him and badger him to give her the vital info that she needed to play the game. After a dive she had wanted to quickly interrogate him to get his immediate feedback, and the only way she could drag it out of him was face-to-face. She knew that her bed was big enough for both of them, and what was his problem anyway? They would be fully clothed and unconscious, the door would be open, so it should be fine, right? She told him that she had no problem with it. But Shinichi would have none of it and he refused, and so the second visor had remained in its box.

Suguha unpacked the second AmuSphere visor and showed it to Sachi. It was shaped like a halo, with a curved band of semi-transparent acrylic that covered the eyes. The band was held in place with a thin piece of aluminum wire in a curved plastic bar along the top. The bar merged with a ribbon of sturdy U-shaped plastic that wrapped completely around the head.

"It's really fun. ALO is a fantasy world with magic, no levels, and with several races that you can play: Sylph, Spriggan, Salamander, ..."

Sachi looked down. "I don't know..."

Suguha sidled up to her. "And you know the best part?"

"No, what?"

"The game has this really sophisticated flight engine. Here, check out this datasheet that came in the box." She showed a Sachi a technical looking document that explained how ALO used actual Navier-Stokes*9 equations to compute realistic airflow, pressure gradient, flow inertia, and other aerodynamic quantities. Even with her computer background it went way over Sachi's head.

"Flight engine?"

Suguha shrugged, "Well, I don't understand any of it. The datasheet says it uses.. let's see here.. a 'numerical model using a custom-designed SIMD GPU chip'."

"No, I mean.."

Suguha made a big grin. "That's right, girl, you can fly."

Sachi was fascinated. "Really?" She held the visor and looked at it closely. She saw that along the left and right sides of the halo were stenciled a pair of tiny little wings.

"Yeah! Pick a Sylph and we can play together. Wanna do it?"

She remembered her time with Kirito, how exciting it all was, and all their shared adventures together (well, except for the whole dying part). She recalled how they had fought side-by-side, panting and grinning, laughing at each other after each battle.

"You wanna check it out with me?" Suguha nodded her head towards her double bed.

Sachi tried to decide if she should accept Suguha's offer. Was she just trying to make her feel better? Still...

To soar in the air with Kirito. I can see it now. Oh, that would be so wonderful...

"Well?"

She thought some more.

"Yes, let's try it."

"Okay! I'll get you calibrated."

Suguha began to work on getting the visor initialized. She was pleased with herself.

Good. This will be the perfect opportunity for me to finally figure you out.

I am going to learn who you truly are.

One way or another.

A/N:

* Web novel.

** The Economist, 2016/06/17.

*** "Witness: Lack of Support in Japanese Orphanages", Human Rights Watch, 2014/05/01

*4 2 Peter 3:8, based on Ps 90:4. (The latter also uses 'like a' in a simile.)

*5 Job 48

*6 1 Cor 2:11,16

*7 Ironically, secularists in Britain have attempted to ban Dante's Inferno under the U.K.'s hate-speech laws.

*8 Rev 20:10

*9 Navier-Stokes equations are used in the aviation industry for aircraft design and in Hollywood for complex CG models in film and television. I used to run Navier-Stokes simulations from NASA/Ames on Cray supercomputers at the University of Illinois. A simulation of turbulence over an airwing could take days to run. Today, recent advances in GPU design at NVidia and AMD have led to the creation of high-end PC video cards that can run these models in SLI mobos and Alienware gaming rigs and do it in real time, something that was unthinkable only a few years ago.

Special thanks to Ijustwannahelp for reviewing a beta of this chapter.