Shinigami-cat: Sorry it took so long to update. Okay time to shake things up a little I think... I OWN NOTHING!

Welcome to monster PART 1

Feliciano sighed as he sat on his bed. He was doing his best to stay awake but it was proving to be a challenge. Even with the pounding of the rain. All he ever felt like doing these days was sleep but he had to stay awake. If he didn't Lovino would wake him up and yell at him. It wasn't his fault he was so sleepy. He was just... so tired... May be Kiku's death was getting to him.

"Ve... maybe I should eat something..." He lay down and looked au at his ceiling. There was a huge dent about the size of a book up there. Feliciano sighed as he remembered how that got there.

XoXoXo flash back oXoXoX

Feliciano had just gotten back home from the harvest festival and was getting ready for bed. Tonight had been really fun and best of all Ludwig had kissed him (even if Gilbert happened to push Ludwig into him it still counted right? RIGHT?). He sighed at that thought. "Ve... We should tell Kiku we got together."

As he was mulling over the thought Lovino walked into hiss room. His face was red and blotchy like he had been crying. "Do you have any fucking tissues?"

Feliciano gasped. "Ve? Are you okay Lovi? What happened?"

"Nothing." Hissed Lovino. "Do you have any tissues or don't you?"

Feliciano nodded and pointed to a tissue box. But before Lovino could grab it Feliciano grabbed it and jumped onto the bed. "Tell me what happened first. Then I'll give you the tissues."

Lovino screamed in frustration and threw the nearest object (a book) against the roof (he has bad aim). "I don't have to discuss this with you!" He yelled. Tears started to form in his eyes. "You wouldn't understand... Everyone fucking loves you... No one gives a shit about me..."

"But Antonio-"

"DON'T FUCKING TALK ABOUT THAT TOMATO FUCKER!" Screeched Lovino. "He... he doesn't give... give a damn about me... I fucking hate him... fucking jerk..." Tears began to fall freely from his eyes as he let his emotions fun freely in front of his brother.

Feliciano hugged him. "Tell me what happened."

Lovino growled. "I hate how you can get me to talk about this shit. Anyway since you want to know so badly...

XoXoXo flash back within a flash back oXoXoX

Antonio had been dragging him and Francis around for what seemed like hours. Antonio would hug him occasionally and whisper Spanish to him. Lovino would push him away and tell him to go fuck himself. The truth was he really liked it when Antonio did those things but he had too much pride to admit it.

Finally Francis had wander off somewhere leaving him and Antonio alone in front of a bunch of game booths. Suddenly Alfred popped up out of nowhere with Matthew attached to his arm. "What's up?"

"Hi Alfred." Beamed Antonio.

"Big Mac bastard. Maple bastard." Greeted Lovino.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "So what's going on? Oh look a shooting gallery! Who wants to play?"

Lovino rolled his eyes. "All the prizes are girly and stupid. Besides-"

"I want to play!" Said Antonio. He walked over to the booth and played a game. Lovino shook his head. There was no way that Antonio could win. He couldn't even shoot a wall if he pressed the barrel of the gun against the damn wall.

"We have a winner!" Said the man at the booth. He passed Antonio his prize. A stuffed horse.

"She's so cute!" Said Antonio. "What do you think Lovi?"

"It's an ugly stuffed horse." Said Lovino.

Antonio pouted. "Oh... okay... Hey Matthew would you like it?" He held the stuffed horse out to Matthew. Cautiously Matthew took the toy and nuzzled the toy. He smiled happily at Antonio. Antonio beamed. "I thought you would like it. Cute things really do suit you Matthew... much more than anyone else I know... Well they suit Feli too."

Lovino looked down at his feet. 'What about me?' He thought bitterly. 'I know I said it was ugly... but I always say that stuff... Fucking bastard.'

"I hope you don't mind Lovi." Said Antonio. "I know how much you hate cute things... and when I try to give you stuff so..."

Lovino rolled his eyes. "Of course I don't mind. It's just a stupid stuffed toy. Like I'd care about who you gave that stupid thing to."

XoXoXo end flash back within a flash back oXoXoX

"... Why am I such an idiot...?" Sobbed Lovino. "I didn't fucking know he was going to give me that stupid horse... I'm an idiot... Now I'm having a fucking break down over a horse... I fucking hate him... Bastard... He doesn't give a damn about me..."

Feliciano sighed. He knew Lovino had extreme self-esteem issues. He always thought that no one appreciated him or cared for him. Honestly he blamed his grandfather for it. He would always shower him with affection and gave Lovino nothing.

"It's okay Lovino." Said Feliciano.

"NO IT ISN'T!" Yelled Lovino. "I'm a fucking mess... fuck it all... I fucking hate everything. Everything can just go to hell... No one cares about me."

"I care about you." Said Feliciano.

"You don't count." Mumbled Lovino. "You're my brother... If we weren't related you wouldn't care about me either... No one cares about me."

Feliciano flinched. Lovino's words cut deep... so very deep... He couldn't explain what happened next. He stood up and pushed Lovino onto his back and climbed on top of him. "Shut up Lovino." He hissed. "You think that no one gives a damn about you but people do."

"Get the fuck off me." Said Lovino. "As far as I'm concerned everyone's just a fucking bastard! No one cares about me. No one loves me."

"SHUT UP!" Yelled Feliciano. "GET OVER YOURSELF! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE THAT HAVE AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU! ANTONIO GAVE THAT FREAKING TOY TO MATTHEW BECAUSE YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH YOU HATE IT WHEN HE GIVES YOU THINGS AND HOW MUCH YOU HATE CUTE THINGS!"

Lovino looked up at his brother, stunned that he was actually yelling and screaming at him. But Lovino got over the shock and laughed darkly. "Fuck you Feliciano. I told you that you wouldn't understand. Everyone fucking loves you and they always will. Antonio can do way better than me. He can always find someone else."

Feliciano couldn't believe what his brother was saying. Something snapped inside his mind. He wrapped his hands around Lovino's neck and began to squeeze. "Shut up." He muttered over and over again. "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. Fucking shut up."

Feliciano couldn't understand why he was choking Lovino. He just needed him to shut up so he could think things through. As he looked down upon his brother he realized he was getting some sick pleasure out of doing this. If he wanted to he could kill him. Not like Lovino could do anything about it anyway. He wasn't strong enough to push him away (he would have to thank Ludwig later for making him do all those push ups).

"Feli..." Choked Lovino. "S... stop..."

Feliciano looked down at his brother; tears were falling out of his eyes and drool was spilling out of the corners of his mouth. Feliciano gasped and jumped back. 'What am I doing?' He thought. 'I... I can't kill Lovino... my fratello! I'm sick... How could I do that...? I'm a monster...'

Lovino gasped for air and sat up. "What the fuck? You crazy bastard! What the fuck was that for?"

Feliciano began to cry. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He sobbed. "I don't know what came over me! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hit me!"

Lovino sighed and rubbed his neck. "I'm not going to hit you... but I'll kick your ass if you pull shit like that again."

Feliciano nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes. But he wasn't crying because he was afraid of Lovino hitting him. He was afraid of the feelings he got when he strangled Lovino. It was scary. It felt like there was a monster crawling through him... taking control.

XoXoXo end flash back oXoXoX

Feliciano was still confused about why he liked strangling Lovino so much. Maybe it was a kink of his. A pretty weird and possibly life threatening kink, but a kink none the less. Or maybe it was a power kink. He wasn't sure but it worried him.

"Ve... What was that?" He asked himself. "Was it a monster? No... I shouldn't think about it like that... I just... I just... I don't know..." He hadn't felt the monster in him stir since then. He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

His grandfather appeared at the door. He was surprisingly handsome for a man his age. His name was Romulus Vargas, one of the most powerful men in town. "He Feli how are you?"

Feliciano smiled. "I'm fine grandpa. Just a little bored."

"Why don't you do a painting?" He suggested. "Or I could drop you off at Ludwig's house if you like. You can't stay couped up in the house all week."

Feliciano shrugged. "It can't be helped. Besides Lovino's doing just fine."

"But Feli..." Said his grandpa. "You should get out of the house-"

"I said I'm fine." Snapped Feliciano. "Sorry..."

Romulus smiled. "That's okay Feli. I know how you get when you're couped up in the house all week. But the rain will stop soon and you can go out again."

Feliciano smiled. "I know... Where's Lovino?"

"I'm not sure." Said Romulus. "His room maybe... Antonio's? I honestly don't know."

Feliciano could feel his anger bubbling up inside. 'You really don't give a shit about him do you? He isn't important at all is he? You just care about your precious little Feli... Lovino means nothing to you old man... I wish you would just fucking die.' Feli quickly shook his head. 'Ve? What was that? I... I... I need to get out of here.'

"Are you okay Feli?" Asked Romulus.

Feliciano nodded. "Ve I'm fine... I'm going to go see if I can find Lovi." He stood up and walked past his now slightly confused grandpa.

As he walked down the hall he felt something clawing at him. It was an uneasy feeling. It disturbed him. 'I shouldn't be feeling this but I am... What does it all mean? I... I don't know...' He sighed and walked into Lovino's room.

Lovino was sitting on his bed reading a book. He looked up and rolled his eyes. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Ve I just wanted to spend some time with my fratello." Said Feliciano sheepishly.

Lovino rolled his eyes and shifted over slightly in his bed. "Fine."

Feliciano smiled and happily sat next to Lovino. "What are you reading?"

"A book."

"About?"

"People and monsters."

"Is it a horror book?"

"Fantasy."

"Ve... When did you get it?"

"Antonio gave it to me ages ago." Said Lovino. "There's fuck all to do so I'm reading."

Feliciano nodded and frowned. 'Antonio and Lovino are still going out I guess... but is it true that people love me more than him? I don't think so.'

"Why the hell are you really here?" Snapped Lovino. "Do you fucking want something?"

Feliciano shook his head. "I just want to spend time with you Lovino." Said Feliciano honestly. "We haven't really spent much time together since that night..."

"Don't you fucking bring that up you bat shit crazy mother fucker." Hissed Lovino. "You looked like you were fucking possessed."

Feliciano tilted his head. "I looked like I was possessed?"

Lovino nodded. "Completely insane. You scared the shit out of me. I really thought you were going to kill me." Tears swelled in Feliciano's eyes and he hugged Lovino. "What the fuck? Get off!"

"I'm sorry." Said Feliciano. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Lovino rolled his eyes and pushed Feliciano away. "I've already forgiven you stupid." He snapped. "This is why I don't want to bring this up. You get all depressed and start crying like a baby. Fucking idiot."

Feliciano sniffed and looked away from Lovino. "Lovino... do you think ghosts exist?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Growled Lovino. "Of course they don't."

Feliciano smiled weakly. 'Than that means I really am going crazy. The monster that tried to kill Lovino was me... I am a monster...'

TBC

Shinigami-cat: DA DA DAAAAAA! Please review.