Say You Love Me
Chapter 20
Winter came and went sooner than I had expected it to. Jax had been on a shit ton of runs and had a lot of club stuff to attend to, at least that's what he told me. It felt like after Jax proposed, everything sped up at warp speed. Before I knew it, it was my graduation day. Gemma had already helped me figure out what outfit to wear under my robes. The three-inch heels were totally her idea. Jax said that he'd met me in the auditorium and that he had a quick errand to run.
"Gemma, are you sure these heels are a good idea? I have to walk on stage in front of everyone and I'm pretty sure my white converse match just perfectly," I yelled from the bedroom as I stared at the object of my annoyance. I ended up finding a really nice and really expensive white cashmere sweater that Jax wouldn't let me leave in the store once I set my eyes on it. I decided to pair it with some dark grey dress pants and once Gemma saw me wearing it, she said that she saw the perfect pair of shoes a few weeks ago and here we are.
"Baby, put the damn shoes on. You've worn heels before. You'll be just fine. Hurry up! We are going to be late," Gemma yelled from the kitchen.
"Yeah but not in front of hundreds of people to get a piece of paper that took four years to earn," I groaned as I slipped them on. Slipping on my baby blue cap and gown, I grabbed my wallet and headed out to Gemma's truck. I hopped in and took a deep breath.
"I don't know what is wrong with me. I'm normally not a nervous person but I feel like my heart is going to burst out of my chest. Gem, is this normal?" I asked.
"You look fantastic, Darling. As far as the nerves are concerned, I'm assuming its normal. When Jackson graduated he was almost half an hour late and showed up hung-over to the damn school. I wanted to kill him," she said with a laugh as we headed to the school.
Stephanie and my mother said that they would be at the school to watch her graduate. I didn't have time to ask if they were already at the school because I had to go line up to walk for the ceremony.
"Okay, this is where I leave you. I'm going to go ahead and grab a seat. Jax said he's already here. You'll do just fine baby," Gemma told me as she kissed my cheek and walked through the double doors of the auditorium.
Please hurry up. Please don't trip or fall. Please let this be over with soon. Where the hell is Jax?!
I spotted Jax, Gemma, Half Sac, Steph, and my mother in the crowd about five minutes before they called my name for me to receive my diploma.
"Shay Parker!" the principal said into the microphone.
I stood up, took a deep breath and smiled as I heard my family cheering for me. I was given my diploma and my tassel was moved to the other side of my head and then I headed back to take my seat.
"CONGRATULATIONS TO THE GRADUATING CLASS OF CHARMING HIGH!"
All of the caps went flying. I didn't throw mine since I was so worried about my shoes that I forgot to write my name inside of it.
"Babe!" I heard from the crowd as I was walking around looking for everyone.
I saw Jax with a bouquet of pink and white roses in his hand. He was wearing a white button up shirt with his cut on, dark wash jeans, and a new pair of Nikes. Behind him, I saw Half Sac, with a bouquet of orange and white roses as well. Steph, had a single red rose in her hand along with a jewelry box and a huge smile on her face.
"Congrats Darlin'," Jax said with a kiss and handing me my flowers.
"Thank you! These are wonderful! Hey Guys! I'm just glad I didn't trip and fall on my face!" I said smiling at them.
"You've worn shoes like that before what the big deal?" Steph asked as she hugged me.
"Yeah I said the same thing!" Gemma pitched in.
"Yeah Bear I don't get what's the big deal. You've worn shoes like that around the clubhouse before," Half Sac chimed in.
I saw Jax shoot him a look before he jumped in.
"Either way. You look hot! You ready to party!?"
"Are you and Steph stopping my grad party later?" I asked my mother. She had been quiet the entire time and I knew it had to be because she had to be around club members.
"I told Steph that we would go for an hour or so," she said.
"That'll work! Lets go guys!"
"Me and Half Sac are gonna head back to the clubhouse and make sure none of the other guys fucked up anything for the party. Congrats again Baby Girl," Gemma said as her and Half Sac took off.
I rode with Jax in his truck to the clubhouse. He put his truck in park and shut off the engine.
"Shay, what's wrong? You seem like you've been off today?"
I opened the door and hoped out, walked around the front and leaned on the truck. I heard Jax get out and he came and sat by me.
"It's weird. I just graduated. It's like I'm an adult now but I don't really feel like one. I graduated, I'm engaged…and I don't know Jax, I just have this feeling that something bad is going to happen. I don't know why but it just feels like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop," I told him.
He kissed my cheek and took my hand.
"Nothing is wrong babe, we're good, the club's good. I wouldn't worry too much about it," he told me.
"Let's get inside before people come out looking for us."
I know he was trying to make me feel better but I still couldn't shake the feeling that some shit was seriously about to go down. The party was pretty much in full swing when we got inside. I saw the pile of presents over behind the bar with graduation decorations all around. I looked around and spotted Gemma.
"Gem! You guys didn't have to get me any gifts!"
"Sweetie we know that. I just put the word out that if anyone wanted to get you anything they were more than welcome to," she explained.
"Where's Half Sac?" I turned and asked Jax.
"He was in the kitchen a few minutes ago," said Gemma.
"I'll be right back baby," I told Jax with a kiss on the cheek. I headed into the kitchen to try and talk to Sac about the feeling I was having. I found him sitting on a stool drinking a beer.
"Hey Kip!"
He turned to me and smiled.
"Hey Miss Graduate, you enjoying the party?"
"I guess, I just having a feeling that something bad is about to happen."
"I get those sometimes. Normally they are right on the money. Trust your gut Shay. I have a gift for you by the way," he told me as he pulled a box out of his back pocket.
"You didn't have to give me anything. You already bought me flowers Kip, that's more than enough," I told him.
"You only graduate high school once and I saw it at the mall a few weeks ago and it made me think of you so I just bought it," Half Sac said as he pushed the box towards me. I opened it and saw the most beautiful sapphire necklace I'd ever seen. The teardrop stone was a sapphire and its necklace was made of white gold. It looked it cost a lot of money.
"Half Sac… you shouldn't have. This is beautiful but I can't accept this. It's too much. This looks like it cost a fortune," I said.
Kip took the necklace out of its box, stood up and motioned for me to turn around. I did as he wanted and walked over to the mirror that was on the wall in the kitchen by the microwave. I saw him unclip the necklace, walk behind me and place in around my neck and clipped it in its place. It looked beautiful on me. I noticed that his thumb lingered on the back of my neck and I blushed.
"It's beautiful on you, Bear. I think you should keep it," he told me as he looked at me in the mirror. I never did realize that he had been calling me Bear a lot lately.
"Thank you, Kip. You're my best friend you know that?" I asked.
He looked sad for a few seconds but then turned me around so that I was facing him. He stroked the side of my face before he spoke again.
"Yeah I know. I love you, you know that right?" he asked.
"Yes I know," I said with a smile.
"So how are you and Jax doing? After the whole Ima thing and all? You okay with all of that?" he asked seriously.
"No, I'm not. I wouldn't have done what I did if I was okay with it. I told him that it wasn't okay and if I find out that he's fucking around on me again that I'd leave him, old lady or not. However, I know how you guys are, with the club and stuff. What happens on a run, stays on a run. It's irritating and it hurts me that I don't know what he's doing when he's gone most of the time. It's whatever I guess. I know he loves me…" I said as I pulled my engagement ring out of my pocket and slipped it on.
"He asked me to marry him. We haven't really told anyone because I'm not 18 yet and need parental consent and I don't need my mom finding out before I'm prepared to deal with it," I said as I showed him my ring.
"Wow…it's beautiful. I know I'm just a prospect but if he hurts you again and you want me to talk to him, I will," he said. I noticed that the words 'congratulations' didn't come out of his mouth.
"Just make sure that you look out for yourself, Bear," He told me as he kissed the side of my mouth and then placed another kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes as I held on to his forearm.
Someone cleared their throat and Half Sac and I stood back from each other and looked towards the door. Gemma was leaning against the doorway.
"What are you two up to in here?" she asked.
"Half Sac was just giving me my graduation present," I said.
I whispered a thanks and hurried out of the kitchen and past Gemma to rejoin the party.
I danced, played pool, and took some shots. It was well after midnight when I noticed that neither my mother nor Steph had made an appearance. It wasn't took much longer before Jax took me up to his dorm at the clubhouse. I definitely wasn't sober enough to travel at all. I managed to take my clothes off and slip on one of Jax's SAMCRO t-shirts and climbed into bed with him. I must have forgotten to take it off because Jax wrapped his fingers around it and asked me when I got it.
"When I went to go find Half Sac, he gave this to me. It's a graduation present."
"I'm pretty sure he over did it, Shay."
"Yeah, I told him the same thing."
"He loves you, you know?"
"Yes, I know that Jackson. I love him too, he's my best friend."
Jax let go of my necklace and kissed me hard as he rolled on top of me. He kissed down the side of my face and down to my neck, where he bit me very hard.
"Jackson…" I hissed.
He pulled back from me and lifted his shirt from my body so he could take it off. My nipples harden immediately and Jax went right to them. Everything felt so good. He kissed his way down my stomach and he slid my panties off. Jackson kissed right under my belly button and looked at me.
"You know, you haven't said you loved me at all today…"
I don't know if it was because of the alcohol or the stress from today but I laughed at him.
"Sounds like you're a little needy to me Jax," I said with a giggle.
Apparently that pissed him off because he bit my inner thigh hard and smacked my clit.
"Jax!" I yelled.
"That necklace looks pretty good from down here. Let me just remind you who exactly you belong too," Jax told me as he started to eat me out like I was a four course meal.
"Jax, he didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean it like that. Oh my god…" I said as Jax added his fingers to the mix.
"I don't fucking care, I don't like it," he said as he began to curl his fingers inside of me.
"Jax, don't stop," I whispered.
He immediately stopped, pulled away from me, and crawled back up my body.
"Damn it, Jackson!" I said as he slid into me.
He pounded away into me and before long I was about to come again. Jax had to feel it as my muscles clamped down on him and I dug my nails into his sides.
"Please? Please?" I asked.
Jax slowed down to a very slow stroke and wrapped his hand around my neck, placing my necklace in between his fingers. He bent his head down and bit the other side of my neck and kissed it before he pulled his head away and looked me in the eye.
"What do you need, Shay? Tell me and I'll let you have it," he said.
"Please let me come. Please Jax," I said as I rocked my hips into him.
"Say it!" Jax said as he gave on hard thrust with his hips.
"Oh my God, PLEASE JAX!" I yelled.
He tightened his grip on my neck and the necklace as my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
Jackson bit my lip and I opened my eyes again.
"Say you love me…" he whispered.
"I love you Jackson," I said.
"Come now Shay"
Jax let go of my neck and started to move his hips again. Once he started slamming into me again, the damn burst and I came all over him screaming his name.
"Fuck!" Jax said as he came deep inside of me.
He kissed me after he pulled out, layed to the side of me and pulled me to lie on his chest.
"Stay away from Half Sac," he said calmly.
I pulled away from him to look him in the eye.
"He's my best…"
Jackson cut me off.
"I don't give a shit. He loves you more than you realize. I said stay away from him."
"But Jack…"
"Stay the fuck away from him or he's gonna stay a prospect for the rest of his life," he told me.
I felt my face pale. No fucking way was I going to let Kip stay a prospect. I had no idea where Jax was coming from with this.
"But Jack.."
Jackson grabbed my face with one hand and kissed me hard on the mouth.
"Enough. Go to sleep Shay," he told me.
I pulled away from him with tear filled eyes. I turned around and layed on my side of the bed. I hated being told what to do. I just didn't understand.
I felt him staring at me but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let him ruin a friendship just because he had insecurities.
All I know is the feeling that shit was going to hit the fan still didn't go away as I fell asleep.
Both Jax and I woke up to the door being kicked in by the FBI.
"FBI! Get on the ground now!" they yelled.
"What the fuck!" Jax yelled as they grabbed him out of bed, threw him on the ground and put handcuffs on him. Another one of the agents had a gun pointed right at me so I couldn't move. I grabbed the blanket to cover my chest.
They hauled Jax out of the bedroom and dragged him down the hall. As soon as they were out of sight, I threw the blanket away from me and threw the closest pair of clothes I could grab. I made my way carefully into the clubhouse to see agents walking around in suits tearing everything apart. I hurried outside and saw Clay, Tig, Happy, Juice, Chibs, and Jackson on the ground in handcuffs. Half Sac and the other prospects where sitting on the picnic table with guns trained on them by more agents. I spotted Agent Stahl once again standing by the guys reading them their rights.
"Ah, Miss. Parker. I see you've stuck around. Stupid decision. Does your mother know that you're engaged to this criminal here? I'll have to be sure to let her know," Stahl asked looking down at my hand and putting two and two together.
"It's absolutely none of your business Stahl!" I yelled at her as Gemma came up by my side.
"What the hell are you trying to pin on our boys now bitch?" said Gemma.
"Tisk, Tisk Gemma. I'm not pinning anything on them. I've got plenty of documented proof of what your boys have been up to these past few months. I've got pictures but I wouldn't want to show his little fiancé here what this pig does while on these runs of his. Blondes, Brunettes…I got a few pictures with him with an old ex from high school as well. Jax, did you let your fiancé know that Tara was back in town too?" Stahl said with a smirk. I stood there as if someone had just poured cold water on me.
That got Jax's attention.
"Shit Jackson!" Gemma said.
"You shut the fuck up Bitch! Leave Shay alone! You stay the fuck away from her or I swear to god I'll tear you limb from limb!" he yelled.
The guys had been stood up and had begun being loaded up into the truck. I walked around Stahl and tried to talk to Jax before an agent grabbed my arm to stop me.
"What pictures Jax?" I asked.
"Don't listen to anything that bitch says! She's been trying to ruin my life and my club since this bitch got to town! Don't listen to her!" Jax said struggling for the agent that was holding him to let him go.
"Who's Tara?" I asked with tears in my eyes. He didn't answer me.
"Gemma! Who is Tara!?" I yelled.
No one answered me.
"I can't believe you!" I yelled at Jax.
"I didn't do anything! DON'T BELIEVE THIS BITCH!" he yelled.
The FBI agents had had enough of us yelling at each other, Jax and all the rest of the guys were loaded into the truck.
"Sorry you didn't get to have the wedding of your dreams with the prince of Charming. Mommy wouldn't have had that happen anyway. In fact, I don't think Tara would have come back to town anyway if it weren't for your mommy reaching out to her first. I'm sorry sweetie. I just seems like you can't come between two high school sweethearts. Jax will be doing hard time this time around. He'll be in for years. Let's see if you can still hang around after all this shit goes down," Stahl said as she walked away.
I turned around and saw that Gemma still was standing pretty close to me. I turned back around and watch the van pull out of the lot with Jackson staring at me.
"Gemma…I don't know either to be pissed off that Jax has been fucking around, that he's going to jail for God knows how long, or the fact that I'm pretty sure my mother and Stahl planned the whole thing. The one thing I'm sure of is the fact that you know the truth. So I'll ask one more time, who the fuck is Tara?"