Say You Love Me

Chapter 22

The University of the Pacific was about 30 minutes away from Charming. They had a brilliant business management program and the campus was beautiful. It had been three months since Jax went to jail and I had settled into a routine. I enrolled in school full time and went to classes all day Monday through Wednesday and then worked at the office at the garage the rest of the week. I tried to keep busy, studying extra hard and making sure the office was in tiptop shape. I hadn't been to visit Jackson at all. I did answer his phone calls and I did reply to every single letter that he wrote me. I just thought that if I actually saw him, that it would make everything worse. I always cried every single time after getting off the phone and respond to his letters. It took a few times of me making up excuses not to visit him but both Gemma and Jax realized that I was trying to avoid seeing him all together. A year had passed before I knew it and I was on the Dean's List at school. Gemma and I had just gotten back to my house when I got the letter.

"It looks like all my hard work has paid off, I made the Dean's List," I told Gemma as I handed her the letter. A smile came across her face as she read it.

"That's wonderful sweetheart! We should celebrate! Let's throw a party at the clubhouse," she suggested.

I hadn't gone to many of the parties at the clubhouse since Jax had gone in. It didn't feel right that he wasn't there with me.

"Gem, I'd rather just take off for the weekend and go somewhere and relax. Like a weekend getaway at a beach house," I told her.

"That could work. I know where we can go. Tell you what; we can take off to the beach house this weekend. We can pack tonight and get on the road first thing tomorrow morning. I'll drive," she said.

"Deal! I'll see you first thing tomorrow. See you later."

"Bye sweetheart," she said with a kiss on the cheek as she showed herself out.

I took a shower, threw on one of Jax's SAMCRO shirts and did some straightening around the house. I had folded and put away laundry and started to put the dry dishes away when my phone rang. I had saved the jail number so I knew it was Jax calling right away.

"Hey Baby," I heard him say over the phone.

It made my lower stomach clench when I heard his voice.

"Hey Jax. How are you holding up?"

"Well you know just hanging around counting down the days until I can get out of here and see you. How are things with school?"
"I just got the letter today, I made the Dean's List."

"Of course you did babe, you're brilliant. Listen… I know we have been over this before plenty of times but would you reconsider coming to visit? It's been a year and I know that you still don't want to see me, I don't blame you at all…but I need to see you," Jax said with a moan.

"Jax…you know that once we start these visits it might make everything worse. For the both of us and I'm not sure if I can handle it," I told him.

"Handle what exactly baby?"

"You know what I'm talking about! I'll think about it but you know what I'm talking about."

"That's all I'm asking for Darlin'. I'll let you go so you can stay on top of that Dean's List. You have fun at the beach house this weekend. I love you," he said.

"I love you too," I said as I hung up the phone.

I had just layed down after I finished packing my bags and was about to close my eyes before I realized that I didn't say anything to Jax about going to the beach house this weekend.

I woke up, fixed myself a strong cup of coffee and reviewed a few chapters for my accounting class. I got lost in my work and before I knew it, it was 8:30am. For whatever reason, I felt the need to look half way decent today even though I'd be riding in a truck for three hours. I pulled out my white long sleeve V-neck shirt and dark blue boot cut jeans. I found my white close-toed heels buried in the back of my side of the closet and I decided to through them on as well. After I rubbed myself down with cocoa butter, I got dressed, and dragged my bags out to the living room. I threw on my silver hoop earrings and put my hair into a bun. This was going to be a well-deserved break. I did have class on Monday but two days away of no school or housework would do me wonders. I heard Gemma pull into the driveway. I grabbed my purse, suitcase, locked the house up, and made my way to her truck.

"Hey Baby! You look beautiful Sweetheart. What's the occasion?"

"Morning Gemma. I don't know I just felt like I should look extra nice today for some reason," I told her as I put my bag in the truck and hoped in.

"You always look nice. Never doubt that. We have a bit of a ride ahead of us so feel free to catch up on some sleep."

"Thanks Gem."

I slid my glasses on that I had brought with me and leaned my seat back. I nodded off to the sound of Gemma humming to the radio.

I felt the truck come to a stop a few hours later and when I opened my eyes I thought that I'd be staring at a beach house with crystal clear water behind it. Instead when I woke up I was in front of a prison.

"Gemma, what are we doing here?" I asked confused.

"Listen Baby, I know you might be pissed but we had to stop here before we headed to the beach house. I know you think that this whole 'not seeing Jax' thing would be better for the both of you while all this shit is going on but it's not. He loves you and the longer he goes without seeing you, the more pain you are putting both of you through. So when he called me yesterday, I agreed to bring you here. It's been a year since you two have seen each other and that much time shouldn't have passed regardless of what happened. He loves you and you love his dumb ass. Now you've got two hours to spend with him before we go on our mother/daughter in law get away. Make it count Darlin'."

I looked at Gemma with a little bit of irritation but she had a point.

"I guess your right. Are you coming with me?"

She let out a huge laugh.

"Are you kidding me? No, I'm staying out here. I saw Jackson last week. Now go on and get in there!"

I grabbed my purse and threw my glasses inside and hoped out of the truck. I walked through the main door and walked over to where it said 'Visitor Check In'.

Sheriff Sloan was standing at the sign in area; she smiled and asked for my ID and whom I was here to see. She looked at her paperwork, smirked and looked up at me.

"You are going to be in conjugal cabin number three. I'm just going to have to check your bag and do a body check to make sure you don't have anything dangerous on you," Sloan explained.

I handed my bag over to her and watched her take everything out, check the purse pockets and then put everything back in. She came around and told me to follow her. We went down a long hall way and out of locked doors until we were at the back of the jail almost outside.

"Okay, now I have to body check you. Hold your hands up and I'm going to pat you down from your neck to your ankles. Ready?" she asked.

"Sure."

Sheriff Sloan seemed like a nice person as long as you did what she said and didn't fuck around, you were on her good side. The pat down was done and over with and then she led me outside where there was a line of six wooden cabins. They were decent sized cabins and each one had a different color set of chairs and a table on the front porch. She led me to the cabin that had a number three hanging on it from the roof.

Sloan unlocked cabin three and stood aside the door so that I could walk in.

"I'll go have one of the guards bring Jackson in. Just so you know, because I have a feeling that this is your first time. The actual visit time starts when both you and Jackson are together. So when we shut the door, that's when the two hours actually starts."

"Thank you," I told her.

"Your welcome. Take care of your self," Sloan said as she closed the door.

I took a look around as soon as the door was closed. I sat my purse down on the brown couch that was in the living room. There was a fireplace and a decent looking television. As I went down the hallway, I peaked my head inside on of the two doors. A decent sized bathroom with a tub and shower that had a black and white color scheme. I opened the last door to a queen size bed in the middle of a bedroom with a selection of condoms, lubricant, and fresh towels on the top of a dresser. I laughed when I browsed through the entire selection of different sizes and flavors.

I wonder if anyone actually has time to go through any of this before they just rip each other's clothes off.

I heard the door open and a guard talking to Jackson. I walked out into the hall as he was taking Jackson's handcuffs off.

"Your two hours starts now, Teller," the guard said as he shut the door.

"Jackson…." I said as his eyes made contact with mine. He took my breath away. His blonde hair had been cut into a buzz cut and it looked really good on him.

I saw his eyes turn the darkest shade of blue that I've ever seen as he licked his lips and made his way towards me.

"Jax," I said as I started walking backwards and into a wall as Jax wrapped his arms around me.

"Hello Darlin'," he said as he placed open mouth kissed on my neck. If Jax weren't holding me I probably would have fell down to the floor.

"Hi".

I grabbed his head away from my head and kissed him. Jax opened his mouth and let me slide my tongue inside. He tasted like heaven and I couldn't believe I let an entire year go by. Jax grabbed my ass and picked me up so that I could wrap my legs around him. I felt like my entire body was on fire.

"God, you have no idea how long I've waited for you. You've kept me waiting for so long Shay."

"I know I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle…Jesus Jax!" I yelled as kissed and bit the top of my breasts.

Jackson walked me into the bedroom and layed me on the bed as he kissed me from my neck down to my belly button. He hurried and unzipped my jeans as fast as he could and pulled them down along with my panties. Once he had them off, Jax dove head first in between my legs. There were so many emotions running through my head at this moment. Lust, longing, but the one that I surprisingly settled on was anger. Jackson had made his way back to my face and tried to kiss me again. I bit his bottom lip, very hard.

"Fuck Shay! What was that for?!" he asked surprised.

I used my hips to roll us over so that I was on top of him. I turned his face to the side and bit his neck as well. I leaned back and took my top off as well.

When I did, I noticed that I hadn't taken my ring off since it was given to me. Smirking, I realized at that exact moment what I had to do. My eyes connected with blue as I pulled my ring off of my finger. I set it on the nightstand and when I looked back at Jax he had a look of fury on his face.

"Because…you betrayed me Jackson and you have to earn that back. Right now, you can't because you're in jail so you'll have to figure that out on your own but I know a way you can start. You said I needed to have no contact with Half Sac and I've done that. I've been dealing with this on my own because of that. YOU are to have no contact with Tara from this point on. She was brought back to town because of you, so when you get out, YOU can help get her out of town. I will not wear that ring. I will not marry you. I will not bear your children until she's gone," I explained.

The more I talked, the more Jackson's face resembled a tomato. I was serious and he needed to understand that. Jackson threw me from on top of him, and pressed his hips into mine.

"This is bullshit, Shay…"

"I believe I said that same thing when you said I couldn't talk to my best friend anymore. Karma is a bitch isn't it Jax? Apparently I have to be one to get this message across. So hear this, Jackson, and understand it: If you want to marry me, you want a family with me, you want YOUR crow to stay on me…Get. Rid. Of. Tara! I don't care how... you just need to take care of it," I told him.

Jackson yanked his top off, pulled his pants down, and flipped me over so that I was on all fours.

"Fine!" he yelled as he bottomed out into me.

"Oh god…" I whispered as I balled the sheets into my hands. I felt Jax rubbing his thumb over his crow on my back.

Jax's strokes were very slow as he stroked every single inch inside of me.

"Damn it Shay. You're so tight," he moaned.

It had been so long since I had been with Jackson I couldn't help but be in a state of euphoria. Jax bent forward and slipped a hand in between my legs and swirled my clit with his thumb. At the same he was placing open mouth kisses on my neck.

"Put my ring back on Shay," he asked with each word accompanied by a stroke.

"Jackson…no," I moaned.

As I moaned out my response he started pounding into me and within minutes had me convulsing around him.

"Don't Stop."

"I didn't plan on it Darlin'"

By the time we both had finished multiple times, we had ended up on the floor.

Jackson got up and handed me a washcloth. I could tell that his thoughts had taken a serious turn. He hand my ring in his hand.

"What exactly do you want to do about Tara?" he asked.

"I told you that…"

"Yeah I know that, but I can't just go 'hey you can go back to Chicago now'"

"No idea. All I do know is that she was in on what Stahl and Brenda did. All three of them were apart of setting you up. You should want Tara gone just as much as I do." Jackson shook his head at me.

"You seriously aren't going to wear..."

"Look! I'll wear it on a necklace but my finger is staying clear until the minute Tara is out of town," I told him as I was putting my clothes back on.

"Our two hours is up Jackson but I want you to think about what I said. I won't come visit you every week because I do have school to think about so I'll try to see you once a month. I love you and I just wanted you to know that. So please, for me, just get rid of her," I said as I kissed him.

I grabbed my bag and left Jackson sitting on the bed as I quickly walked out of the prison to wear Gemma was waiting for me. I had begun to cry so I put my glasses on and hopped in the truck.

"Are you alright sweetheart?"

"No. No I'm not alright, Gem. I told Jackson what I need him to do for me to be okay but with as much history he has with Tara, we will see if it will actually happen."

"Well what exactly…"

"Just drive, Gemma."

She stopped talking and pulled out of the parking spot.

I just wanted peace… and I was so tired of the drama.

NOTE:

Guys, this website document manager is not letting me upload chapters as I would like. That is the hold up! I have this story I'm trying to update, a Vampire Diaries Bonnie & Tyler smash up, and I'm trying to start a Harry Potter Draco & Hermione story as well…BUT THE DOC MANAGER WON'T LET ME UPLOAD ANYTHING WHEN I WANT TOO!