Say You Love Me
Chapter 23
It had been a few months since I had went and visited Jax for the first time. Gemma had told me that Tara had been visiting Jax and was still in town with no plans to leave. I was just closing up the office when I saw Kip in the garage finishing up the last car to be picked up tomorrow. Everyone else was either at the garage or running around getting ready for tonight's party. I paused when I saw him, he looked sad and stressed out. To be honest with myself he probably looked as bad as I did and I really did miss him. I know it's a shitty way of thinking but I figure since Tara was still in town that it would be all right if I at least checked up on Half Sac.
I set my purse down on one of the chairs in the garage and yelled his name.
"How are you?" I asked.
I saw his shoulders tense as he shook his head and looked at the ground.
"Shay Bear…you know that we are not suppose to be talking. Go home."
"I miss you. Why won't you even tell me how you are doing?!" I yelled.
"BECAUSE I MISS YOU TOO! Shay, I just can't! I miss talking to you and being around you but I know that neither of us would be able to stay away from each other. Plus, you're Jax's piece of ass now and what the Prince wants, he normally always gets. Regardless if he deserves you or not!" Kip yelled as he slammed the hood down, washed his hands and grabbed a rag to dry them with. I walked right in front of him and pushed him.
"I'm not just some piece of ass! I am his old…"
"His old lady, yeah I got that. He isn't treating you like one. How's Tara?"
I felt the sting on my hand from slapping him before I even realized what I had done.
"How could you even say that to me!?"
Kip whipped the blood off from the corner of his mouth and I noticed him scan my neck.
"The same reason that your engagement ring is on the necklace that I gave you when you graduated."
I placed my hand on my chest and grabbed my necklace. I had honestly forgotten that I had put my engagement ring on the same necklace that Half Sac had given me. I went to go walk past him when he grabbed my upper arm and pulled me to him.
"Fuck this shit, Bear," he said as he picked me up and cleared off a counter behind me. Half Sac pulled me to the edge of the counter, spread my legs, and stood between them.
"What are you…"
He shut me up with a kiss. I couldn't help but kiss him back as he wrapped his arms around me and grabbed my ass. Once he slipped his tongue in between my lips, I knew I couldn't help it. I lifted his shirt and grabbed at his lower back a little under where his jeans had sat. Kip had moved his kisses down to the base of my neck and I let out a loud moan and started to grind myself into him. He was right; Jackson hadn't been treating me like how I should have been treated. The shit with Tara, it was stupid and I hadn't done anything to deserve it. Kip had unbuckled my jeans, slipped his hands inside my panties, and started playing with me. I couldn't help but rock my hips into his hand.
"This is how you deserve to be treated, Bear. You deserve to be cherished," he whispered against my neck. I moved to go unbuckle his jeans but he stopped me with his free hand and started moving his fingers even faster.
"Kip…fuck… Half Sac... please!" I moaned
"What do you need, Bear? I'll give you whatever you want," he said against my neck.
"I need you… please!"
Half Sac made no move to take his pants off and slip inside of me but he did move his thumb right on my clit and started to rub in circles while his fingers were still inside of me. It wasn't long before I felt myself tighten on his fingers and came against him. I was panting trying to come down as Kip placed kisses on the side of my face and neck. He readjusted my jeans and buckled them up before backing up and letting me slid down from the counter. I took a deep breath and looked him in the eye.
"This is why we have to stay away from each other. I want you and I know that you want me too even though you can't admit it. Go home Shay," he said with a kiss to my forehead.
"But Half Sac…" I started to say before he interrupted me.
"Good God Shay! I will fuck you right here on that counter and there won't be anything you could do to stop me because I know you want it as bad as I do! Now go home before I do something that's gonna get us both killed!"
I grabbed my bag, ran out of the garage, and into my jeep. I was in my driveway before I was able to breath. I smiled to myself as I played with my necklace.
Looks like I'll be making an appearance to the party tonight.
It was around 10:30pm before I decided to get dressed and head down to the clubhouse. Settling on a long sleeve lace black dress and black heels, I threw my hair up into a tight bun and called it a day. By the time I pulled up, the party was in full swing. I checked my reflection in the mirror and the sparkle of my ring caught my eye.
Why do I not feel even an inch of guilt from what I did earlier? I undid my necklace and threw my engagement ring in my purse.
I smirked to myself and jumped out of my jeep. It felt good to hear the click of my heels across the pavement. It had been a very long time since I had gotten dressed up to go anywhere. The sound of the crowd died down once people recognized that I was here.
"Welcome Back, Princess! What can I get ya to drink?" Shelly, the bartender, asked.
"Vodka and Cranberry please," I replied.
I got my drink and looked around. Gemma was supposed to make an appearance but I guess she had yet to show her face. I felt someone's eyes on me and looked towards the pool table and saw Kip staring at me. I ended up making my way over to him.
"Bad move, Shay Bear."
"What? What's the matter? I thought I deserved the night out."
"Coming over here. That dress. You know the other guys have eyes on the both of us over here."
"Worried, Kip?"
"You drive me fucking insane, I swear," he said with a laugh.
I finished my drink and sat it in front of the ball he was about to shoot. I leaned down over the pool table and whispered in his ear.
"You used to love that about me."
Kip took his shot and got it in the right pocket.
"I need some air. I'll be on the roof if you want to talk," I told him as I walked away.
I should have known that he wouldn't let me walk away.
That god damn dress I heard him mumble.
"You want to dance?" he asked me.
I turned around, drank the rest of my drink and sat it on the pool table.
"I thought you'd never ask."
Half Sac sat his pool stick on the table as well and slid one of his arms around my back as he led me to the dance floor. A slow song had just started to play. I slipped my arms around his neck as he started to dance. He ended up pulling my hips towards him so that our bodies were touching from our stomachs down.
"Why did you come here tonight?" he whispered into my ear.
"I wanted to see you again."
"Hmm, I think you're lying. I think you wanted to finish what we started earlier. At least that's what this dress is saying. That what your ring free necklace is saying."
Half Sac smelled so good, like cinnamon, which invaded all of my senses. I wanted him, I knew it was wrong but I had been so lonely and Jax was still seeing Tara. I was just so frustrated I couldn't focus on anything besides the throbbing in between my legs.
"I know you can't admit it Bear. I know that we probably will be either beat the hell out of or even killed for this but if you want me, if you want me to sooth that ache in between your thighs that I know you're tired of taking care of yourself, come see me. Leave right now and go to my house and I'll make you forget everything," Kip said with an open mouth kiss to my neck.
I took a deep breath and pulled away from him since the song had changed twice already. I opened my mouth to tell him that I couldn't do that but instead…
"Okay."
I grabbed my purse from the pool table and walked out of the clubhouse.
"You sure about what you're about to do baby girl?" Gemma asked from the picnic table with a smoke in her hand.
"Was Tara's name still on the visitors list the last time you went to visit your son?"
She shook her head and looked at the ground.
"He loves you Shay he does. That son of mine is just a fucking idiot more times than not."
"I'll take that as a yes. Bye Gemma."
I got in my jeep, drove to Kip's house and let myself in with the spare key that I remember was under a plant in the garage after I had parked.
He wasn't home yet so I grabbed a beer from the fridge and was half way finished with it before I heard his bike pull in the driveway. I went to stand so that my back was towards him as I looked out of the glass doors in the living room. I heard him come through his front door and take his cut off.
He slipped his arms around me and pulled me to him.
"Are you sure? Because once we start I know I won't be able to stop. I need you…"
"Then come have me," I replied.
Half Sac took his hand and used it to turn my head to the side so that he could kiss me. I turned all the way around in his arms as his tongue asked permission to slip past my lips, which I allowed. We both moan and it was like all of the control I had I could feel it leaving my body. I felt his hands slide down my ass and fingered the bottom of my dress before he grabbed it and pulled it above my ass. Kip released my mouth to pull the dress over my head and layed it the side of the couch.
"You're beautiful, Shay," he told me as he placed opened mouth kisses on top of my breasts. Next thing I knew I was being carried bridal style into his bedroom. Half Sac set me down on his bed and took his shirt off. He was ripped, not steroids ripped, but he was really fit and he had a nice trail of soft-looking blonde hair going underneath his jeans. I arched into him, I couldn't take much more time passing without his hands on me. I leaned forward, unhooked my bra, and threw it on the floor.
"Jesus, Shay. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen," he told me as he slipped his pants and boxers off. I got a glimpse of his dick and it was wonderfully hard for me.
"You're not that bad yourself, Kip. Um, random, but when is the last time you've washed your sheets."
"I need to wash them once a week. Not because I'm getting a lot of ass but because I've got this friend of mine that I wanted for forever and I jerk off instead of going to her."
I let out a laugh.
"Oh really?! I didn't know it was that bad!" I said with a laugh. I noticed his eyes darken as he ripped my panties away from my body and rubbed his dick across my clit.
"Ah, Half Sac!"
"You feel how hard I am? I was serious when I told you that I wanted you…" he said biting at my neck.
"I'm here now, so show me. Show me how much you've wanted me."
Kip pulled back a little and slowly entered me. I was very tight since it had been awhile and my fingers were only so big. My eyes rolled back as he bottomed out.
"Jesus…"
"Oh my God…"
"Kip, Kip please move. I need you please."
He pulled back and rocked back into me. I wrapped my legs around him and kissed his neck. He felt so good. It felt good to be so full since it had been awhile. Kip leaned back on his knees and looked at me as if he could see my soul. He was still stroking slowly inside of me. I felt his hand rub from my lower stomach all the way to my neck as he palmed my necklace.
"You feel so good Shay. You want me to go faster baby? All you have to do is ask."
"Please!" I moaned.
"Please what?"
"Please go faster Kip, I need you."
He wrapped his arms around my thighs and started fucking me faster, I was just about to explode before he slowed down again. I wanted to cry, I was so frustrated.
"Damn it Kip! Please!" I yelled, shaking.
"What do you need Shay? Tell me.
"I want to cum. Please let me."
He layed back down on top of me and kissed me, still rocking slowly.
"You want my dick to help you cum?"
"Yes please!"
"Say it. Say the one thing that I know you feel but you haven't said in months. Say it and I'll let you cum around me."
I knew what he wanted me to say. I had purposely avoided letting those words loose from my mouth because I know it wouldn't be the same after I did. I let a stray tear fall from my eye, and he whipped it away.
"I know you do. I just need to hear it Shay Bear. Please. Please say you love me baby," he asked as he picked up the pace a little bit.
"You know I do Kip."
He pulled out of me, flipped me around on all fours, and slipped back inside of me again. I realized that he had a full view of Jackson's crow as I felt his fingers rub over my tattoo. He grabbed the base of my neck and pulled my body up so I was just on my knees and his free hand he began to rub my clit.
"Please Kip!"
"Say It!"
"God, I love you okay. I always have! More than a friend! Please let me cum please? I'm begging you."
Magic words have magical powers because he started moving inside of me faster than I could ever imagine. I felt myself tighten on him again as I gushed all over and he fucked me right through my orgasm and right into another one.
"God, I love you Kip," I moaned.
"I know you do baby."
I had grabbed the headboard and began fucking him back.
"God, Shay. Fuck Shay….I'm gonna cum. Can I cum right here? Is that okay baby? Are you going to let me cum inside of you?"
The way he asked me turned me on even more; I couldn't help as I felt myself coming again.
"Yes Kip! YES!"
He grabbed my hips and started ramming into my g spot that he had found way earlier and as I exploded I felt him do the same as well.
We caught our breath and he pulled himself out of me as we layed down and cuddled.
"He's going to kill us if he ever finds out. You know that right?" I asked.
"Prison Clause. You will be fine. He's not going to touch you. I'm a different story. He will probably beat me to death if he ever finds out it was me…especially since you weren't suppose to be anywhere around me."
"I'll do my best to make sure he wont find out that it was you, Kip. I don't need anything happening to you."
He was quiet for awhile before he spoke again.
"Don't marry him."
"I'm not. The wedding has been off. Didn't anyone tell you that?"
"I know that your not marring him while everything with Tara is going on. What happens if she never leaves?"
"I'm not marrying him."
"Okay, so what happens if she does leave? Everything is magically fixed between you and Jax? It wont be. Don't marry him!"
"I'm his Old Lady, I love him Kip! I know he fucks up but I love him, you can't help who you love."
"But you love me too right?"
"Yes, you know that and I'm pretty sure Jackson knows that too. What do you want me to do!?"
"DON'T MARRY HIM! You can say you love him all you want but you love me just as much as you love him. Your pussy was wrapped around my dick so tight I wouldn't have been able to pull out even if I wanted too. You can't marry him and still love me."
I had gotten out of the bed and grabbed my bra to put it on and walked into the living room to grab my dress.
"I don't know what I'm doing okay. I'll admit that but you have to give me time to figure it out. I have to go. I can't do any thinking being around you right now."
"Why not?"
"Because all I can think about is you being buried inside of me again and I just need to leave okay Kip?" I had my dress and shoes on, grabbed my bag and kissed him on the lips.
"I'll see you around okay. I'm going to figure this shit out I promise you."
I made my way home, took a shower and passed out.
I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing.
I rolled over to answer it.
"Hello?"
This is a collect call from…
Fuck!
"Yeah I accept the charges."
"Hey Darlin'"
"Hi Jax, why is Tara still on your visiting list?" I asked right off the bat.
"Look, that why I called. I need to tell you something and you are going to freak out. Tara is pregnant."
I laughed.
"Okay, so what? What's that have to do with anything?"
" It's mine."
"You've been in jail for almost two years what the fuck are you talking about. Tara's baby is yours? You fucked her when she was visiting you?"
"Look…"
"Stop. You know what? I'm done with this shit. I'm assuming your mom knows about this shit too? I'm done Jackson. I felt guilty about using my prison clause last night but you've been playing me this entire time. That's it. I'll leave your ring on your dresser."
"YOU FUCKED AROUND ON ME?! WITH WHO!?"
"That's none of your business. Have a nice life because I'm done being treated like shit by you."
"My old lady has been fucking around on me, I think I deserve to know who it was."
"You don't deserve shit, Jackson. You deserve a swift kick in the nuts, that what you deserve. I told you the last time, that if you fucked up again that I would leave. Motherfuckers don't listen these days. So hear this, hear this real clear Jackson. I. AM. DONE. Okay? That's it. You've made this decision so much easier. You want Tara? You can have her. Now I have to get apartment shopping so I have a lot of shit to get done today. Anything else I need to know?"
"Are you fucking serious right now?
"Yes. If you don't like being treated how you have been treating me, you probably should have kept your dick in your pants. Goodbye." I said as I hung up the phone.
Well he made thinking about things way easier. Fucking Tara is having his baby. It was about an hour before I had found an apartment that I had liked in the downtown part of Charming. I had my stuff packed in boxes in the garage by midday. I was just finishing up packing when I got the call that the apartment was mine if I wanted it.
"Awesome, thank you."
I hung up the phone and there was a knock on the door.
"Gemma, I don't even want to hear it. I'm packing my shit, I'm done with Jackson. You can take care of his house. So unless you are going to help load my shit into your truck, I don't want to hear any of it."
"He's so fucking stupid. What boxes need to be loaded up first?" she asked.
All of my stuff was sitting in my new apartment by the end of the night; I had just enough time to get to the store to pick up a few groceries and bedroom furniture.
I was on the border of sleep before I realized that I hadn't even called Kip.
NOTE:
Good turn of events? Bad turn of events? Let me know? Shay needed a break from Jackson. With his lying, cheating, good looking self. J