Say You Love Me
Chapter 28
I woke up sore and came to the realization that I needed to call my mother. Rolling over and reaching for my phone I noticed that Jackson wasn't in bed with me.
I dialed my mom and prayed for a miracle that she would finally come to understand.
"Hello, Shay?"
"Hey Mom, I'm calling to check in and run some things by you," I told her. I had texted my mother every couple of weeks when I skipped town after Kip's funeral, just to let her know that I was alive and okay. We didn't talk much about anything else; I didn't know what was going on at the station besides the fact that she had been promoted. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to really care about what was going on in Charming or with the club, so I had been seriously out of the loop.
"I just wanted to let you know that I'm back in town. I saw Jackson last night and after talking to his mother and with him I really believed that he has changed Mom. I don't know how to explain it this time but he seems more serious. He built a house for us. He still wants to marry me and Mom I know you don't like him. I know you don't like the club or the fact that, yet again, I will be in some way will be involved with the club again but I want to give it a shot. We haven't went over any details but I really would like if you and Stephanie were at the wedding."
"Sweetheart, I knew you were coming back the minute you got off the phone with Gemma. Yes, I am not happy that you will be back involved with club stuff but the SONS have changed entirely since you left. There hasn't been any incidents or trouble in Charming city lines since the day Kip was murdered. That was the last straw that kicked Jackson in gear, I guess. As long as my town is safe, as long as YOU are safe, I'll support whatever you want. I had to reevaluate some things in life as well while you were gone. Me not agreeing with my son-in-laws way of life shouldn't stop me from having a relationship with you. However, I will say this, I am an enforcer of the law and if I get wind of anything going down within Charming… Shay you being married to a SON will not stop me from coming after whoever was involved. If you can understand that, if Jackson can understand that then we will be fine."
Well...Holy Shit! This conversation is going a hell of a lot better then I thought it would.
"Yes, I understand that Mom. I would never ask you to put your career in jeopardy for the sake of the club. I just…thank you for being so understanding. I don't know what changed while I was gone but I'm thankful for whatever it was."
"Shay, you don't know? Jackson and I had a sit down a few months after you left. He agreed to keep the bullshit out of Charming and explained some things to me about your relationship. Gemma ended up popping up as well and we talked some shit over and it's been quiet between the three of us."
"Well damn. If that's not proof of Jackson growing up, I don't know what is. Thank you Mommy. I appreciate this."
"No problem, Baby Girl. Now, I don't know how soon you want to get all of this set up but if you need help with anything let me know. I've got a case that I have to get back to. I love you and I'm here if you need me."
"Thanks Ma. I love you too," I told her as I hung up the phone.
I had begun crying while I was talking to her. I can't believe it took all of this drama to start repairing the relationship that I had with my mother. I just hoped to God that everything wouldn't go back to how it was before. I made the bed, took a quick shower, threw on a white t-shirt and jeans and went off in search of some breakfast. I found a note from Jackson stuck on the fridge.
Baby,
Thank you for giving us another chance. I swear on my own life that I have changed and I'm serous about us. If you need time before we start planning wedding stuff, I understand that. I will follow your lead. I will follow you for the rest of my life and I can't wait to make you my wife.
I had to go to the clubhouse and I'll be back later.
I love you, always have.
He's serious about us. He's serious about our future and I didn't need any more time to think about anything. I called Gemma and asked her to meet me at the bridal boutique in the mall in a half hour.
By the time I had pulled into the mall parking lot, I was on cloud nine.
"Shay, so by that fact that you asked me to meet you at the bridal shop I'm assuming I'll have you as an official daughter-in-law sooner rather then later?"
I pulled my right hand out of my back pocket and showed it to her.
"Yeah Gemma, I guess I will be but I have a feeling that you knew this was going to happen."
"Darling, I knew no such thing. The one thing that I did know is that you had to see the change in Jackson yourself. I couldn't tell you and just have you believe me. You wouldn't be Shay Parker if you didn't have any doubts; but enough of that talk. Lets get you inside and find a beautiful dress for the Bride, my treat!"
"Gemma, I can't have you pay for my wedding dress!"
"Baby Girl, as much shit as my son has put you through, this is the very least that I can do. Now lets go!"
I never thought that finding a wedding dress would be this easy. By the time I had tried on the fourth one, I knew it was THE ONE!
I had picked an off-white, ball gown that was clenched at waist with a fabric belt that was about a half an inch and had a touch of pink. The bodice was low cut and from the top of the fabric belt there was a pattern of crystals that flowed through the straps. The bottom was layered as well and I looked and felt like a princess. As soon as I put it on I knew I was leaving with it but the seal on the deal was when I walked out and saw Gemma and my mother, whom I assuming was called by Gemma. As soon as they saw me they both got teary eyed.
"Hi Momma! I think I found my dress!"
"Shay, you look so beautiful! Baby girl that's it! That's the one!
"Shay, we aren't leaving here without that dress so go on ahead and change back into your clothes. We found the one Darling and you will have that dress."
Gemma took my gown and I walked over to my mom and gave her a hug.
"I haven't spoken to Jax yet but Mom I think I want to keep the wedding simple. I want Steph and my maid of honor. Jax will probably want Opie as his best man. I never did ever see myself having a huge wedding, you know what I mean?"
"This will be you and Jackson's day. Have whatever size wedding you want. I'll make sure to bring Steph back here to look at bridesmaids dresses when you talk to Jackson and pick a color scheme," Brenda said, she gave me a kiss on the forehead and left.
"Okay baby girl, we are all set. I did get a dress box for after the wedding that will keep your dress preserved or some shit. Back when I got married we just kept it in the bag and called it a day but the gal that rang me out assured me that it would keep your dress in tack. Do you want me to take your dress to the house and hide it in the closet? You wanna go tell Jackson the news?" Gemma asked as we were walking back to our vehicles.
It's like she reads minds or something.
"Yeah, I think I'll go pay him a visit," I said with a smirk.
"Uh oh, I know that look. Look Darling be careful and don't go getting yourself pregnant after the fact that we already have the dress. That can wait until after the wedding," she said.
"Oh I'll keep my hands to myself alright."
"You know I can tell when you are lying right?"
"Uh huh, bye Gemma," I said as I got in my car and headed to the clubhouse.
When I pulled up I checked to make sure everyone was here. I parked, reapplied some lip-gloss, fluffed my hair out and went to go find my future husband.
Clay and Tig were sitting at the bar so they saw me when I first walked in.
"Oh boy here comes trouble," Clay said with a laugh.
"Ha ha ha, get used to trouble because I'm about to become your daughter-in-law and I need to find that stubborn child of yours to let him know I found a dress."
"I fucking knew it! Thank God the Kid finally got his head out of his ass," Tig exclaimed.
"Yeah yeah yeah, Clay where is he?"
"Still in the chapel, Shay. Go on and get him"
I walked into the chapel since the door was open and leaned against it.
"Hey Jackson, guess what?"
He looked up and gave me a genuine smile.
"What's up babe?"
"I found a dress. Gemma took me shopping and by the time my mom showed up I had found the one," I told him as I walked towards him and sat on his lap.
"Someone is excited to become Mrs. Teller."
"Well its been long enough don't you think? Plus I was excited about it and couldn't wait until you go home to tell you and do this," I told him as I kissed him deeply.
After last night and not having been with Jackson for so long it felt like I craved his touch and I would have loved a repeat this morning.
Jax picked me up, sat me on the table and placed his hands on my neck and his tongue asked for entrance to my mouth, which I gladly gave.
I moaned and stroked the hair at the back of his head and rolled my hips forward.
"Babe, you have to stop moving unless you want me inside of you right now."
"That's what I want, Mr. Teller. You still have your room upstairs? Are the sheets clean?" I asked with a smirk as I started kissing and biting on his neck.
"Fucking Christ!" Jackson said as he lifted me in his arms and carried me towards his room.
I hear Tig and Clay laughing and Bobby saying something about someone not pulling out.
By the time Jax kicked his door closed, my shirt was already off and I was working on my shorts and Jax had already thrown his cut and shirt off. I was on his bed completely naked and he walked towards me slowly with his jeans still on.
"We rushed it last night and I didn't get to taste you."
"Jax it's fine. Just come here I need you."
"No baby we are doing this my way right now."
I was kissed from my neck, to my breasts, down to my belly button and Jax pinned my legs down as he devoured me for what felt like hours. I had came four times by the time Jackson let up.
"Jesus Jackson!"
When he slipped inside of me and snapped his hips forward it felt like I was in heaven.
"Christ Baby, you feel so fucking good!"
"Jax, please, go harder babe!"
By the time we had finished, we were both on the floor.
"I could do that every damn day and never get tired of it."
"Well after we get married in a month, you can."
"I'm glad to see that you didn't need any thinking time, Bear. Are you sure?"
"Yes Baby I'm sure. I would like Steph to be my maid of honor and I'm assuming you'd want Opie to be your best man. I don't want a big wedding. I just can't wait to be your wife."
"Whatever you want Shay. Absolutely whatever you want."
A month and three weeks later on a perfect day in October I was ready to be Mrs. Jackson Teller. We had chosen to get married in the garden at the Charming Community Center, with the reception right afterwards at the same venue. It was in the middle of town and the garden was beautiful and it had the perfect amount of space. Jackson and the rest of the guys spent the night at the clubhouse while Gemma, my mom, Stephanie, and myself stayed at the house.
By the time my mom was finished with my hair and Gemma had placed my veil on my head I was read to see Jackson. Stephanie looked so pretty in her floor-length, light-pink bridesmaid dress with a lace bodice. Gemma and Brenda look amazing in their mother of the bride and groom dresses as well.
There was a knock on the door and my mom took off to make sure it wasn't Jax trying to sneak a peak at me again. She ran back to me and I could tell the color had drained from her face even with her make up being done.
"Mom, what's wrong? Did something happen with the food for the reception? Jax rip his tux? What the fuck is going on?!"
"Shay, remain calm. Now, listen to me, I may have told this person about the fact that you were getting married but because of some other shit I didn't think they would actually show up."
"Jesus Christ, who'd you invite? The devil himself?" asked Gemma.
"Okay, first of all, I didn't INVITE him. I may have mentioned that Shay was getting married I don't know how he found out anything else."
"Mom, what do you mean 'he'? Who the fuck are you talking about?"
"Shay, Stephanie, your father is outside in the hallway. I don't know how he found out."
"Okay… we know you and your kids father have a fucked up relationship. What's the big deal?" asked Gemma.
"The big deal is," Stephanie jumped in, "is that my father has been helping the SONS get guns into the country for years. It's one of the main reasons that my parents divorced and the main reason Mom freaked out so much when she got wind that Shay was possibly messing around with Jax."
"Jesus Christ Brenda. Well that makes a hell of a lot more sense now," said Gemma.
"Wait Steph, how did you even know about that?" I asked.
"I overheard you and mom arguing about it when you dropped me off at the house on Thanksgiving the year we had it at Gemma's house."
"Steph, you knew all this time? Why didn't you ever say anything?" my mom asked her.
"Mom because I understood why you did what you did. You were just trying to protect us from the IRA. Daddy being Irish and Grandma still being alive and well in Ireland didn't help matters. It made sense as to why you never let us go visit Grandma and why she always had to come here. Shay and Jackson's relationship, at the time, could have drawn attention to us if something had gone wrong with Dad and his business," Stephanie explained, as there was another knock at the door. At this point, I had had enough. It was my wedding day, if my father was here to apologize and walk me down the isle. I wouldn't stop him.
"COME IN!" I yelled.
Into the room walked my father, Brian O'Downey in all his glory. My father had always been a good-looking man and, to be frank, as more time passed he had gotten better looking with age. He kind of resembled David Beckham so I completely understand why my mom, who had a kind of Halle Berry resemblance herself, had put up with him for all these years.
"Hi baby girls. Now, Brenda, I know I hurt you and by proxy I hurt the kids but I'm here to wipe the slate clean. I've been retired for almost a year and half. I don't help the Sons of Anarchy with anything anymore and I've been keeping my hands clean. Shay, if you don't want me here I understand and I will leave. Brenda let it slip that you were getting married but didn't say to whom but one of my old SON contacts let it slip with the rest of the details so here I am. I'm sorry. I am sorry that I abandoned my family when you all needed me the most because of greed. I was a selfish bastard, but I've changed and I'm here now. So all I want to know is if I can stay and have the honor of walking my oldest daughter down the isle?"
Stephanie ran to our father and gave him a huge hug and told him that he was forgiven.
I stood up and walked to them both. I looked at Steph and then looked at my father.
"I have seen a man that I thought I had pegged for a smug, irresponsible asshole evolve and become a better man; the man that I am marrying today. If he can change, then by God, Daddy you can change too. But if you cross me, if you cross this family, if you put us in danger, my husband will have no problem in putting you six feet underground. Do you understand me? You may have no connection to the SONS anymore but I am marrying the Vice President of this towns Chapter. I am an Old Lady and you will not hurt any of us ever again. Do you got that?"
"Yes Shay Marie, I understand you completely," my father nodded his head in agreement. I looked at my mom and the color had come back to her face and then I knew I had to add on more thing.
"Oh, and because I know Mom just can't resist you, if you cheat on her again or look at another gash ever again I will personally request that your nuts be removed and placed in a jar? Everyone on the same page?"
Gemma started to laugh and said something about me being the best Old Lady she's seen since herself. Steph was cracking up on the side of my father and my mother and father both looked like a deer caught in headlights.
"It's okay Momma, trust me I get it," I told her with a wink. She just rolled her eyes and asked if I was ready. I shook my head and rolled my shoulders.
"Ok Daddy, places everyone! I'm ready to do this!"
Gemma gave me a kiss as she headed out towards the hall, leaving the doors open in her absence. My mom did the same thing but kissed my father on the cheek before she took her leave. Stephanie handed me my bouquet of flowers as she grabbed hers and walked into the hall. My father, held his arm out for me to take as he led me out to the hall. We hit the garden doorway that led to the entrance before he said anything.
"You are marrying Jackson Teller right Baby Girl?"
"Yes Daddy I am."
He exhaled, "Thank God, I've always thought that kid needed a tough women around with a good head on her shoulders. I'm so very proud of you Shay."
"Thank you Daddy," I told him as the music started to play that signaled that it my time to walk.
My father led me down the isle toward Jackson and I saw a look of surprise as he realized that my father was here and walking me down the isle.
"Who gives this woman away?" one of the many judges that my mom knew and had asked to marry us, asked.
"I do, Sir," my father announced. Daddy stepped forward and shook Jackson's hand and whispered something into his ear. Jax smirked and nodded. My father stepped back and went to sit with my mother.
We are gathered here today…
I had zoned out looking at Jackson. The happiness that was radiating from him was just down right beautiful. After all that we had gone through, we had made it. I was then my turn for my vows, which then I excitedly said,
"I Do."
Then it was Jackson's turn but before he could get to his 'I do' he said he needed to say something.
"I'm hot headed, I'm stubborn, and I probably drive you insane half the time but I want to thank you. Thank you for coming back and taking a chance on me. I meant what I promised you when you came back to Charming. It'll be you and I against the world babe. I promise you that," Jackson said. Opie then nudged him and then Jackson rolled his eyes.
"And I promise to treat you as good as my leather and ride you as much as my Harley," Jax said with a laugh.
I heard several laughs from out guests.
"Jackson Teller, do you take Shay Parker to be your wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do you part?"
"I Do!"
"You may now kiss your bri-
The judge didn't even get to finish that sentence before I felt Jackson's lips against mine. I kissed him back and ran my tongue against his bottom lip just to tease him. Over the applause I did her my mother clearing her throat a couple of times. We pulled away from each other and laughed.
"I am proud to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Jackson Teller!"
We walked down the isle hearing applause, Gemma and my mother were crying. Even my father looked like he had shed a tear or two. Our guests got directed to go in to the hall that was decorated for the reception. Jax hadn't stopped kissing me since we had said I do but nature was calling my name.
"Baby I have to pee, you'll have to let me go," I said with a laugh.
"Okay, okay… does that mean I don't get to help take your dress off?"
"YES! Not until tonight! Steph will be helping me," I told him as I walked towards Steph who was talking with our father.
"Hey Steph, I gotta pee, will you help me?"
"Yeah, let's go!"
We made our way down the hall before I asked her for what I asked her to stop and pick up for me this morning.
"Did you bring the test?" I asked her as she unzipped me from the back.
"Yes I did but are you sure? You seriously think that you are pregnant?"
"Girl, yes! I picked this date to get married because my period would have been done and over with four days ago but it never came. If its because of stress that's understandable but I need to take the test now because I really want a strong jack and coke and I need to know if I'm knocked up before I do that. Make sense?"
"Yeah I guess, here's the test. It'll say pregnant or not pregnant after five minutes. I'll wait outside okay?"
"Thanks Steph!" I said as she closed the door.
I peed on the test and then continued to sit and wait.
I grabbed the test from the counter after what I believed had been five minutes and there it was….
Pregnant
I squealed and Steph came running back in the room.
"It's positive I take it?"
"Yeah it is. Holy shit. Don't tell Mom! I want to tell Jax first and then have some time to ourselves with it. You know?" I asked.
"My lips are sealed. Now come on, your husbands waiting for you," Steph said with a giggle as she zipped me back into my dress.
I walked over to Jax and we walked into the hall together as the DJ introduced us as husband and wife and announced our first dance.
"Hey, what song did you end up choosing for our first dance? That's the one thing that you said that I couldn't pick, like my taste in music sucks or something," Jax complained.
"Baby, don't worry; it's called 'Heaven' by Julia Michaels'. Just listen to lyrics and you'll realize why I picked it," I explained as he placed his hands right above my ass as the song started to play and he led me around the dance floor.
Love's my religion but he was my faith
Something so sacred, so hard to replace
Falling for him was like falling from grace
All wrapped in one, he was so many sins
Would have done anything, everything for him
And if you ask me, I would do it again
No need to image 'cause I'll know its true
They say all good boys go to heaven
but bad boys bring heaven to you
It's automatic, it's just what they do
They say all good boys go to heaven
but bad boys bring heaven to you
You don't realize the power they have
Until they leave you and you want them back
Nothing in this world prepares you for that
I'm noticing that he wasn't the one
Had no idea what we would become
There's no regrets, I just thought it was fun
No need to image 'cause I'll know its true
They say all good boys go to heaven
but bad boys bring heaven to you
It's automatic, it's just what they do
They say all good boys go to heaven
but bad boys bring heaven to you
Hurts to remember the moment we met
The touch that he planted, the garden he left
I guess that rain was just half that effect
No need to image 'cause I'll know its true
They say all good boys go to heaven
but bad boys bring heaven to you
It's automatic, it's just what they do
They say all good boys go to heaven
but bad boys bring heaven to you
"I bring heaven to you huh?" Jackson asked me with a smirk.
"Pretty much every night you are inside of me Jax. Speaking of which, you remember the day I found my wedding dress and I came to visit you at the club house?" I asked.
"Yeah, I remember you came a lot and were walking funny, which I'd love to do that again."
"Well before we do that, I have a question for you."
"Shoot babe."
"Do you like the name Jonathan James Teller?"
Jax stopped dancing and smiled, a look of recognition flashed across his face.
"Shay Teller, are you having my baby?!" Jackson asked.
"Yeah Jackson Teller, it looks like I am. I found out when I was in the bathroom. Congrats Daddy!" I said with a laugh.
Jackson kissed my forehead and placed a hand over my stomach.
"I promise I will take care of you both."
"I'm going to hold you to that Teller," I told him with a kiss.
I guess its true when they say bad boys bring heaven to you….
NOTE:
That's it guys. That's the last chapter of Say You Love Me. It's been a long two years with this story. It's been through two breakups and two moves and you guys have stuck with me through all of that bullshit and I can't express how much I appreciate it. I'll see you guys on the next one.
Love,
Ashley