Author's note: Thank you to the reviewers! So I'm not exactly happy with this chapter but after reworking on it several times I literally gave up – it is what it is. To Anoon how could you have known? The whole inception for this story was to write such a story because I too have been searching without much success. I hope I can do the plot and the characters justice.
Disclaimer: Had Nitesky by Robot Koch on repeat, amazing track.
IIII
"I think he's waking up..."
"Finally, it's been days..."
"Hey Hworang, you okay man?"
Hworang's body felt heavy and his head like it had been stuffed with soggy tissue to the point of bursting. Not to mention the dull throbbing pain weighing him down. He blinked several times before the blurry shadows leaning over him took distinguishable shapes. "Lars?" he slurred.
"Yup, he's going to be fine," Lars said handing him a bottle of water.
Confused and weak, Hworang struggled with keeping his fingers from shaking long enough to take a few sips of the blessedly cool water. He was proud, but not stupid, so when Steve helped him sit up he didn't put up a fuss. "How long have I been out of it?" he asked.
"Three days, mate," Steve responded with a smile that was meant to be encouraging but the war had taken a toll on even him. "Just like Jesus..."
"I doubt Jesus woke up feeling like shit," Hworang muttered.
His memories were somewhat hazy but he remembered fighting Kazama, getting his ass kicked and almost dying. Only he hadn't died, there had been Xiaoyu and the rain that kept falling on his face –
Xiaoyu!
He began to frantically search the faces around him. "Where is Xiaoyu?" he asked. There was Steve and Lars but also on the fringes he noticed Julia and a few others of the rebels. Only Xiaoyu and Miharu were absent.
Lars and Steve exchanged a look and it only made the panic rising up his throat that much worst. "Where is she, Lars?" he demanded, forgetting he was still recovering and his body ached in places he didn't even know existed.
Lars sighed warily. "She's with him," he replied and Hworang knew instantly who the him was.
"What?!" he bellowed, ignoring the pounding in his head and the fact that his left leg was shooting pain like lasers. "We need to get her back!"
"Why are you all just standing there? Xiaoyu needs us!"
But no one stirred and it only angered him further. "Fine, I'll go on my own!" he declared but Lars placed a restraining hand on his shoulder.
"Don't be foolish," he said softly. "Xiaoyu knew she was the only one who could get you back, she understood the risk."
"Stop talking about her like she is some dead war hero!" Hworang yelled. The room was swimming before his eyes and any moment his skull would split in two and he'd be dead. Why were they all just standing there like she was already dead?!
"Honestly do you simply refuse to think or is it an actual handicap of yours?"
Hworang turned his blurry vision towards the voice.
Lee Mishima despite the run down bunker and the general grime that came with war looked immaculate in his white tux. The pompous git even had a rose attached to his breast pocket. "It's your fault little Ling is in this predicament to begin with," he said managing to sound both pitying and condescending.
"My fault?" Hworang uttered with wide eyes.
"She has been the one thing Jin has desperately wanted but failed to get and with one stupid impulse you gave him the leverage he needed." Lee explained in that same flat voice.
Hworang swallowed thickly, letting Lee's word's sink in. He'd been so stupid! He'd thought Kazama didn't think him worthy of killing, but it had never been about him or even defeating him. Probably why the bastard hadn't even been trying. Of course Xiaoyu would come for him, he'd have done the same and Kazama had known.
The distance between them just kept growing bigger.
"So what, we just leave her, pretend she doesn't exist?' he asked thickly.
"Don't be absurd," Lee mocked. "Xiaoyu is probably the best off out of us all right now."
"She's living with that monster!"
Lee nodded. "Indeed in the lap of luxury, Jin won't harm her," he said confidently.
"Besides, Xiaoyu is the leverage we've needed," Lars said stepping into the conversation.
"What do you mean?" Hworang asked.
Lars seemed hesitant to answer but finally did, "She's going to be our mole...Jin trusts her and now instead of being five steps behind him we can finally get the upper hand."
"Know what he is planning before he executes," Lee added.
Steve patted Hworang gently on the back. "See, it's going to be alright," he said reassuringly only it sounded wrong.
It was all wrong, because Xiaoyu was never supposed to be the sacrificial lamb, he was supposed to protect her from Jin. Not gift wrap her like he did.
"But Kazama will be expecting this, the guy is stupid but not that stupid."
"No," Lars agreed. "But that's exactly what we're counting on... he'll try to use it to his advantage and that's when we'll strike."
Hworang swallowed. It was so easy to forget at times who Lars really was. He wasn't like them, he'd been rebelling against Jin for much longer- this was just another move in a long gruelling match for him. "And Xiaoyu?' he asked softly.
"Another casualty to this ongoing war," Lee said flatly, he seemed unfazed by the glares his comment elicited. "What, I'm just voicing what all of you are thinking!"
All except one. Hworang wasn't going to let Kazama ruin the one good thing he had left. I'll save you, Xiaoyu.
/
Xiaoyu hates that even after all this time after all he did, being near him still feels like falling for him all over again.
Her body still strums to the beat of his touch, desperate for more.
Because the truth is, Jin never changed, he was always aloof and shutting the world out, the one who changed was her. Somewhere along their tragic short lived love story the stars had fallen from her eyes and where there should have been a knight she saw the dragon instead. But even then it was hard. Leaving Jin had been like a death, only there was nothing to bury and all the mourners were left asking questions the dead could not answer.
"Xiao," her name on his lips sounds like validation.
Even though two years has passed she can still remember how he looked at her like she was betraying him. Like love for him should have weighed more than the deaths his destruction had caused, more than her only family, more than her friends more than her own sake. She'd always thought him selfless, lost and at times cold but never selfish until that moment. Jin had never seemed to want for anything until she was walking away from him and his house of lies.
Her breath came out in laboured breaths as her arms loosened around Jin's neck as he braced himself above her so as not to crush her under his weight. Everything aside the one thing that hadn't changed was the sex. Or maybe it was because Jin was her first and her last? And sex with him would always be torturously sweet.
"What are you thinking about?" he asked, gold eyes piercing through her.
Xiaoyu turned away from him, eyes narrowed. "You said nothing about forcing me to speak to you," she muttered.
Jin's body sunk besides her and before she could breathe again he pulled her to him so she was forced to hold his gaze. "Is that what this is, me forcing you?' he asked and he almost looked hurt. When she kept her lips pressed closed, his eyes narrowed. "Answer me Xiao, because I'm a lot of things but I'm not a rapist." He hissed and she realised her careless words might have grazed him after all.
She could lie of course, turn this whole thing into something ugly and sordid but she wasn't that cruel. So Xiaoyu wordlessly shook her head in the negative. Jin hadn't forced himself onto her. Yes she wished she was stronger, that a simple touch from him didn't send her into a spiral of lust and frustrations. However that weakness didn't negate consent on her part. She might have tried to fight the pull between them but she'd been more than a willing participant.
Jin swallows. He looks like he wants to press the issue further, but something stops him. His eyes take in her bruises instead and she can't tell if his pleased or disturbed by what he sees. But if the way his arm rests possessively around her middle is any indication, a part of him must feel some sort of satisfaction. After all his attempts at getting her back, he finally has what he wants. No matter the cost.
Maybe a part of her knew even before Steve told her Hworang had gone after Jin.
Now looking back at her desperate rescue she realises it had felt like coming back to a home she stopped missing a long time ago. And she's angry, hurt and maybe she really hates Jin as much as she says but the moment he cups her face, staring into her eyes like she's some saving grace, a part of her wonders who is blackmailing who. He looks different, it's strange how little and yet how much two years can change. He still smells the same, his eyes glistering in the same sheen of gold, but now when he kisses her it feels like a frantic plea.
When he'd always been so gentle and careful with her, his touch is now almost bruising as if digging his fingers into her flesh makes her more real. Xiaoyu wants even this to feel alien but it's still Jin and her body adapts to his new desperate touch without missing a beat. They mould together and if not for the memories she'd fool herself into believing nothing had changed.
"You can't leave," he tells her over and over again until she starts to believe him. "You can't leave me again, Xiao."
How is it that he destroys everything she loves and somehow she's the one made to feel all the blame? Xiaoyu clutches her fingers to her chest, Jin's arm like a steal chain around her middle. Sleep calls to her, promising rest and an escape but she is stubborn.
"Would it change anything if I said I'm sorry?" His question catches her off guard.
Xiaoyu doesn't want to lie so she doesn't. "No."
Jin is quiet and his breath fans her neck. "I am sorry... about a lot of things," he starts but pauses for a breath of a second before continuing. "Except loving you, I'm not sorry about that."
It's the first truth he's said all evening yet instead of relief fear coils in the pit of her stomach. Even as something flickers at his admission a huge part of her wishes it weren't true. It would be so much easier hating Jin if he hated her as well.
Life is hard, it will be hard long after you're dead because that's the way of life. Grandpa Jinrei's words ring unbidden in her mind and suddenly it all seems too much.
Jin muffles her sobs with his chest, apologizing repeatedly because he doesn't understand what she is crying over. And maybe for now it's best if he doesn't.
/
"She's still here... is that wise?" Nina Williams asked. She made it her business to mind her own, but over the years she'd come to care for her employer in spite of all her rules about never getting attached. And only a fool would not see the risk the girl posed to their security, but Jin Kazama was no fool. Yet she could not help wonder if he was being blinded by his obsession for the girl.
"I never got the impression that this was up for discussion," Jin said coolly as he gazed out the windows from his office.
Nina sighed. "It isn't but I had to ask."
"In the future try harder to refrain yourself."
He was dismissing her, she'd worked long enough with him to read his body language and understand what he didn't say. He was uncertain of himself. He knew the girl could be his downfall, but his heart was winning over his logic. And when the pieces fall, Nina would be there as she has always been.
"I shall leave you then," she informed him, before leaving him to his brooding and the devil that continued to haunt him.
/
"You're okay?"
Xiaoyu traps her button lip with her teeth. It's not supposed to be this hard.
"Xiaoyu?" Miharu presses on the other end of the line. Her friend is worried and she's standing here feeding into her worry.
Get it together, Xiao! She mentally admonishes herself. "Of course, I'm actually worried about you guys," Xiaoyu said relieved her voice didn't betray her emotions.
Miharu sighed on the other end. "Hworang is really taking all of this hard, you know he cares deeply for you." She says.
Xiaoyu doesn't like where this conversation is headed. Doesn't like how it feels like everyone needs her to be in a relationship so they can stop worrying that Jin will somehow seduce her back to the dark side. "And I care about him too," she says distractedly.
"Really? Because you've been sending mixed signals," Miharu said with obvious annoyance.
"I haven't been sending any signals let alone mixed ones," Xiaoyu retorted. She is over this conversation. She'd called to check in on the base, find out if Hworang hadn't done something stupid and assure them that Jin hasn't locked her in some basement. It seems she was going to suffer for her good intentions.
"Xiaoyu, listen I love you-"
"I love you too, Mi-"
"But I feel you staying single gives Jin the wrong impression that maybe if he repents or whatever you'll forgive him," Miharu says softly.
Xiaoyu can feel a headache coming on. "Mi, I'll call you later," she said not even waiting for Miharu's response before hanging up and pressing her head against the palm of her hand.
"Who have you not been sending signals to?"
Xiaoyu nearly had a heart attack as she spun around, eyes wide. Jin stood just at the entry way of the kitchen back from work and still dressed in his business suit. "Can you not creep up on me like that?" she demanded harshly, her feathers still ruffled from her call with Miharu.
Jin looked unbothered by her tone. "It's my house it's impossible for me to creep around," he said flatly.
"Then refrain from eavesdropping on my private conversations!" Xiaoyu snapped.
"If it was so private you wouldn't be having it in the kitchen," Jin pointed out.
Was it her imagination or was he enjoying himself at her expense? Xiaoyu wondered eyeing him suspiciously. "I'm not doing this right now," she finally said raising her hands in surrender. "It's been a long week... had to save my friend from a mad man."
He arched an eyebrow at her choice of words but chose to say nothing.
"Was there something specifically you wanted?" she asked suddenly uncomfortable as she realised it was just the two of them. She'd always had this suspicion that the Mishima staff were in actual fact ninjas and only pretending to be housekeepers and now as the silence of the house threatened to swallow her, she believed it.
"Have dinner with me."
Xiaoyu hadn't been expecting that and she was certain her confusion was painted all over her face. "I've had dinner with you three times this week," she reminded him, confused as to where this conversation was going.
"Not dinner as in having our meals at the same table while you pretend I don't exist," Jin began and she was surprised he'd actually noticed. "But an actual dinner where we talk."
"Is that a good idea?" Xiaoyu asked, wrapping her arms around herself.
"What is?"
"Us, talking... aren't you afraid you'll let slip one of your little secrets?"
Jin frowned. "I don't have secrets," he stated.
Xiaoyu snorted.
"Have dinner with me, you can keep quiet and I'll talk," Jin said and Xiaoyu actually laughed then.
"You talk?" she asked bewildered. "You think one word sentences are conversations." She pointed out.
"Maybe I didn't have much to say then."
"And you do now?"
"Yes."
Xiaoyu fiddled with the hem of her blouse. She was already talking to him so adding a meal as well shouldn't complicate things. Only Jin and things have only ever been complicated.
"Have dinner with me," he said again and this time Xiaoyu relented.
/
Conversation had never been his strong suit. Many thought it was because of his cold nature, but the truth was that Jin had been a very awkward youth and silence covered up the fact that he wasn't charming, funny or witty. He'd grown up in a place where his mother was the only other soul and suddenly been thrust into a world of glitz and glamour. A world where girls gawked at him or threw themselves at him without him having to utter a single word.
Guys were too jealous of him to actually forge bonds of friendship with and then Xiaoyu had entered his life and suddenly he felt that he didn't need anyone else. The whole deal with his family had also taken its toll on him. To find out his father was not only alive but wanted him dead had been jarring and difficult to cope with. Not to mention Heihachi's betrayal.
Add all that to his already nonexistent social skills and you're left with a man who finds it difficult to express himself.
"I'm waiting for you to overwhelm me with your ceaseless conversation," Xiaoyu drawled sarcastically.
He noted that she resorted to sarcasm quite often now. Where she'd been bubbly and somewhat playful she was now distant and bitter. He could now better appreciate the girl she'd been before things went to hell between them.
Jin opened his mouth but abruptly shut it close again. He didn't really have all that much to say. He was still ruling Japan with an iron first, searching for his father and trying to control the devil inside. Nothing interesting there.
"I thought as much," Xiaoyu muttered making to get up and leave but he had to stop her.
"How have you been?" he asked and he hoped it didn't sound as awkward as he felt about asking. Surely that should have been the first thing he said to her? Instead he'd propositioned her and blackmailed her back into his life. Was it then a wonder that she hated him?
"Well I buried my grandfather no thanks to you," Xiaoyu began darkly. "I also had to move out my apartment, lost Panda and a whole load of other stuff that mattered to me. So I guess you can say I've been really pissed off." She finished.
Jin absorbed her words and the anger they still carried. If she was still angry that meant a part of her still cared? He would have to ask Eddie. "I'm sorry about Jinrei," he said and it felt like apologizing was all he got to do lately.
Xiaoyu just glared at him, biting her bottom lip as she clenched her jaw.
He was trying but it seemed like she wasn't going to let him. It seemed like sex was the only time he felt close to her and Jin didn't want to make this all about the sex. No matter how good the latter was between them.
"Is there something between you and the Korean?" he asked remembering her earlier conversation on the phone. He doesn't know why but the thought of her being with another man threatened to send him into a murderous rampage, preferably one that ended with the Korean dead.
"That's none of your business," Xiaoyu replied coolly.
Jin's eyes narrowed. "You're mine so it makes it my business," he gritted out.
"I don't belong to you!"
"Like hell you don't!" he snapped back something uncharacteristic of him, but she was pushing all the right buttons. "What is he to you?" he asked tensely.
Xiaoyu cocked her head to the side, a saccharine smile on her face. "A friend... maybe more, I'm still deciding..." she taunted.
He should've broken Hworang when he had the chance. He thought darkly. But then Xiaoyu wouldn't have had any reason to come back to him.
"I would see him dead before he so much as touched you," Jin growled. Images of Xiao with anyone but him, let alone his old rival, twisting his gut.
"And what if he already has?!" she demanded as she stood up.
Jin glared at her defiant look, before grabbing her wrist in a painful grip. "You've perfected the art of lying... I almost believe you," he said darkly.
She glared at him trying to free her wrist and failing. She slapped him across the face with her free hand and he smirked evilly at her.
"How long have you wanted to do that?" Jin asks pushing his chair back from the table.
"Too long," she hisses right before she straddles his thighs. "This is what you want isn't it?" she demands sitting astride on him.
He frees her hand so he can grab her hips. "We made a deal," he reminds her. "I don't want just your body." It's a sad truth from an empty soul. He wants so much more than these moments when he can use her body's attraction for him against her senses.
He wants silly stories and not funny jokes as she steals him coy looks forcing him to steal kisses that she reserves only for him. He wants the past and all of its pain, because at least he understood that pain.
She strikes a thoughtful pose. "Oh I remember you also wanted my heart and mind," she taunts. Her words are careless and meant to inflict pain. They achieve their intended purpose.
"You think I can't win you back?"
"You destroyed everything. I will never love you again!"
"You're a liar Xiao," he states rolling up her dress to expose toned thighs. "You love me. The only thing you hate is that you can't make yourself stop."
He has touched a nerve, her eyes narrows and she tears at his shirt exposing his chest. "You've lived in denial for so long you actually believe what you want to believe," she snaps, scratching at his chest.
Jin cups her covered womanhood and she gasps in spite of herself. "If I'm in denial so are," he informs her before rubbing her over the silk of her panties. Xiao pants, arching her back and biting her lip to stop herself from moaning. "I'm not even inside of you yet and you're already coming undone..." he whispers huskily.
"Fuck you," Xiaoyu grits out.
"Oh believe me you're going to," Jin promises with a smirk. "Over and over again until you can't decide whether you want to keep fucking me or kill me or both."
A moan escapes her lips then as she gyrates her hips against his hand. "Tell me what you want," he asks his breathing uneven, blood pumping under his rapidly heating skin.
Xiaoyu shakes her head and he has no choice but to increase his tempo. She is close he can see by the way her eyes roll to the back of her head as he moves his hand.
He is just about to tear the flimsy silk to take things further when a clearing of the throat puts an abrupt stop to his actions.
His hand still cupping Xiaoyu, he demands, "What is it?" His voice comes out husky and harsh, but it can't be helped.
"Sorry to interrupt but there's an emergency, Kazama-sama." One of his trained men said, careful to avert his eyes.
Although he is reluctant to stop things with Xiaoyu, Jin has no choice. Gently he lifts her off of him, inwardly satisfied at her disgruntled look. A flicker of hope burns in his chest at her reaction.
"Be a good girl while I'm gone," he tells her as he fixes his clothing and hair. Once satisfied he throws her a cocky grin before leaving her frustrated, flustered and wanting.
No one sees what it's like
You and me, you and I
Never go, never hide
You and me, you and I
Feedback as always is much appreciated though definitely not a prerequisite for the next update.