That night, when we returned to the castle, I felt as though a dark cloud hung over my head. I had not shared with my family or councilors what Lord Siticus had proposed to me during the recess. I had, however, been giving it a great deal of thought.

I felt evil for thinking it, but perhaps it was the answer I was looking for. Perhaps Zidane would never regain his memories. What would I do then? Our situation was difficult enough as it was before. Marriage had been, more or less, out of the question – and Siticus was probably right about the production of an heir. Would Zidane's child be recognized? I had no doubt that the people of Alexandria – most of whom knew about Zidane and his efforts – would welcome our child with open arms. But what of the other nations with whom Alexandria had political relations? What would be said and done to keep our child from ever taking the throne?

My head ached and I felt so numb that I barely felt Eiko's hand clutched firmly around mine as we made our way to the dining room. I could hear the others speaking quietly around me, but could not comprehend their words. Finally, Cid addressed me directly, pulling me from my thoughts.

"There is no need for such desperation, Garnet. The magistrate has not yet made up his mind, and I still feel we make a very strong argument."

I nodded meagerly, looking around the table at all their faces. "I apologize. I am simply envisioning a worse-case scenario. I… don't know what I'll do if I lose Alexandria."

Eiko shot me a knowing glance from which I quickly turned away. Only she knew of my secret desire to be released from royalty – and so it would remain, if I could help it.

Doctor Tot polished the lenses of his glasses thoughtfully. "We have several days before we may be called to court again. More than likely, our competition will have dug up more dirt on the Queen. We must be sure we can provide something equally as valuable by then. I suggest a private investigation into Lord Siticus' past."

Again, I nodded, and again I was miles away from this conversation. Zidane's face came into my mind again, his sweet smile radiating warmth and reassurance. I felt a tugging in my chest and, once more, a strong urge to cry swept over me.

Abruptly, I slid my chair away from the table, nearly striking my server who expertly balanced a platter of meat while dodging my inadvertent assault.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled. "I need to be excused."

Without another word, I fled the dining room and didn't stop until I was in the garden gazebo. There, I finally took in a deep breath of fragrant night air. The roses surrounding my mother's grave were in full bloom, giving off a heady perfume in the lingering summer heat. I knelt beside the grave marker and brushed away the little bit of plant debris that had settled there since the last landscaping duty.

"What am I supposed to do now, Mother?" I whimpered, touching the stone with one hand. No answer came, of course. After a moment, I pulled myself upright and took a seat on the circular stone bench within the gazebo. Closing my eyes, I let the sounds of night creatures sooth me to the best of their abilities. Even still, I could not block out the image of Zidane in my mind's eye.

I had promised him that I would not forsake him… but was that for my benefit, or his? When I visited him in the village, he seemed more or less content. I recognized no sadness in him, nor longing for his absent memories. In fact, my incessant task of helping him to remember the past only seemed to frustrate him.

I almost didn't dare think it, but… perhaps I was being selfish in trying to help him remember me. Perhaps it would be best for Zidane to simply start a new life among the other genomes – his own people – and to forget the hardships of his past. To forget me.

The more I considered it, the more I convinced myself it had been wrong to love Zidane at all. As ruler of Alexandria, I should marry a man of good breeding, of political standing. A man with experience ruling. Many royal marriages had sprung from, not love but, necessity. And I was a servant to my people. Had I really been so selfish?

By the end of an hour in the garden, following this train of thought, I had made up my mind. I snuck back into the castle and donned a dark robe before making my way to the ferry. I paid the guard there a large bribe to ensure she would tell no one about my secret errand. She took the money and swore never to reveal my secret before rowing my across the channel.

Once in the city, I took many back alleys and long routes to avoid the busier streets. It was not late, and Alexandria was still bustling with evening activities. Those who did spot me saw only a robed and hooded figure. I must have appeared suspicious, for passersby shot oddly fearful looks in my direction.

At last I came to the house Siticus (evidently) had owned for several years. The windows glowed with a warm light which let me know he was still up. I knocked quietly on the door and, soon, a female servant appeared there.

"May I help you?" she droned.

"I request an audience with Lord Jerome Siticus."

"Lord Siticus is in his study and will not be disturbed."

I pulled back my hood and the woman's eyes flashed wide when she recognized me.

"I'm afraid it is an urgent matter," I said.

"Yes. Yes, of course. Won't you come in?"

Replacing my hood and taking a final glance about me to make certain I hadn't been seen by anyone else, I stepped through the threshold and allowed myself to be led up the stairs to the study.

Siticus sat with hunched shoulders over an ornately carved wooden desk made of the wood of an extinct species of tree. I recognized it because this wood was used in the construction of Alexandria castle and had, at one time, been the most common hardwood in the region.

"You have a visitor, Lord Siticus," the servant crooned from the doorway.

"Mary, I've instructed you to turn away-"

He cut himself short when he spotted me and put on his most charming guise as he rose from the desk.

"Thank you, Mary. Please leave us."

The servant bowed and closed the door as she left. I stood near the door and the two of us regarded each other in silence for a long moment.

"Queen Garnet," he said at last. "Won't you sit down?"

"I prefer to stand," I said.

"Very well. What can I do for you?"

I took a deep breath. "I have been… considering your offer."

A wry smile flickered to life as Siticus made his way to the door. I sidestepped away from him as he approached, but he seemed to take no notice of this. He pulled the door open a crack and shouted down the stairs. "Mary! Tea for two, please."

A shudder ran through me. Was I doing the right thing?

"Come, my queen. Sit. We have much to discuss."

Reluctantly, I let him take my robe and hang it near the door before leading me toward a lounge on the other side of the room. He took a seat opposite me and arranged a small table between us for the awaited tea.

"Now then," he said. "Have you come to a decision?"

I felt ashamed to be in this room, this house… with this man. "I have… given it a great deal of consideration. I feel I must do what is best for my country."

"That has only ever been my intention, I assure you."

I nodded. "You promised to retract your case if I agree to this union," I said.

"I am a man of my word."

The guilt worsened with every passing second. Again, Zidane appeared to me, and I had to chase the image away lest it bring me to tears.

Mary entered with the tea tray then and neither of us spoke for a moment or two while we sipped from our cups. Siticus' eyes seemed fixed on me. I didn't like the look in those eyes. A sudden urge to flee came over me and I set my tea cup down with an unsteady hand.

"Going so soon?" he asked, following me toward the door. I quickly replaced my dark robe and reached for the brass door knob. His hand fell over mine, preventing me from turning the knob. "You came here tonight to give me an answer," he said. His voice was more gentle than I had realized was possible. He was becoming difficult to hate.

"Yes, I did," I admitted.

"Then I beg you give it to me before you go. Let us put an end to this dispute. You know it's the right thing for Alexandria."

I looked up at him with shock and humiliation. He was using my own oath against me! And yet, I could not dispute his logic.

Slowly, I squared my shoulders. "Very well," I said. "Here is my answer."

***Dun-dun-dunnn! Oh my! What's going to happen next? Sorry again for not putting Zidane in this chapter. I wonder what he's been doing while Dagger has been away?***