What about Edward? "I mean, you guys are together. He brought you to Christmas dinner," I say.
"Oh," Jessica laughs. "No, we're not together. Edwards great and all...but there's nothing there. He's kind of...off."
"Off?" Rosalie asks.
"Yeah, like...okay. This is really kind of embarrassing...but the first date we kind of had sex." Jessica looks at her glass as she says this and when she's done, she takes a long drink from it.
"Kind of? You either had sex or you didn't," Rosalie laughs.
"Okay. We did. We had gone out to dinner and then to a bar and I guess we just both got really drunk. I don't remember anything really, but the next morning I wake up and he's in bed with me. Totally awkward."
"Totally," Rose agrees and I nod along with her.
"Anyways, when he woke up, he apologized and said that he didn't mean for it to happen and said that he wasn't 'emotionally available,'" Jessica says, making air quotes. "Which I totally get. Esme had told me that he had gotten out of a long term relationship a couple years ago."
"So then what's the deal with Christmas?" Rosalie asks.
"My Aunt went to Oregon to my Uncles family. I couldn't afford a ticket to go back home to New York. I've only lived here for a couple months...I don't really know anyone so Esme invited me for dinner."
"You moved across the country? Why?" Rosalie asks. "I'd never be able to move to a different place if I didn't know at least one person."
"When I said I understood Edward's thing about his ex...it's because up until eight months ago I was in a long term relationship too. Tyler and I had been together for four years, then he tells me he cheated and the girl was pregnant. And that was that. He moved out of our place and I broke the lease, quit my job and moved out here. My aunt originally owned the daycare, but I was able to take it over from her."
"Well, that's good. Thank God Emmett never cheated on me. Or at least I don't' think he did. Otherwise I'd go all Loraina Bobbit on him."
I'm frozen the whole conversation. It's like the worse possible things I was thinking have come true.
"But...what about that under the table action at dinner?" I immediately regret asking. "Sorry, that's none of my business."
"Under the table action?" Jessica asks. She looks confused.
"Don't think I didn't notice your hand constantly going under the table. You were totally giving him a handjob," Rosalie adds.
"Oh my God," Jessica drops her head to her hands, then lifts it back up. "Are you serious? I just kept using my napkin. His parents must think I'm such a whore!"
"It's fine, Jessica. Carlisle and Esme probably assumed you were just wiping your hands. I mean, they know you're not dating, right?"
Jessica shrugs. "I don't know...I don't think so? Edward mentioned something about wanting to get Esme off his back."
"Figures. Men. But let's get to the good stuff," Rosalie grins devilishly. "You don't remember the sex at all? Did he get your off?"
"Rosalie!" Jessica giggles.
"What?" Rosalie asks. "I'm just curious. Did he have a big dick? Emmett was particularly gifted in that area. I've always wondered if they were alike in that aspect."
Jessica giggles again.
I feel all the alcohol and pizza I've eaten churn in my stomach and my mouth fill with saliva.
I jump off the couch and stumbel dizzily. "Bathroom?" I call out, already running down the hall.
"Last door on the left!" Rosalie calls out.
I barely make it in time before I empty my stomach out in the toilet.
Still with me? One more later today.