I'm just so, so tired of everything.
I'm tired of thinking about Edward when he won't allow himself to open up to me.
Not that I've opened up to him, but still.
As the anniversary of my mothers death grows close, I feel myself turning inward.
How could it already be two years since she left us?
Charlie was begging me to come home. He only told me for a visit, but I knew he wanted me home for good.
Phil suggested I go to Jacksonville, to visit her grave.
Instead, I ask Mrs. Newton for time off. She gives me two weeks. She knows what's coming up.
I gratefully take the time off, even though I know I can't afford two weeks with no pay.
Part of me doesn't care.
I lay in bed and block everything out.
Except feeding Snickers, of course.
I don't think about how my mom died or how things were left when she died.
I focus on the pain in my chest.
It's a crushing, heavy weight that I feel trapped under.
I debate calling Doctor Black, but I lost his number.
So I just lay there.
And try not to think.
Poor Bella. See you next chapter, later today.