I wake up a few hours later.
The sun shines brightly through my window. I roll over.
The spot is empty.
Edward left.
I roll onto my back and close my eyes, taking a deep breath.
I wouldn't think about this. I expected nothing less.
He doesn't want me, anyways. Even if he did, he deserves someone better.
Someone whole.
Besides, today is a day for my mother.
Not for myself.
I curl up onto my side, grabbing the spare pillow beside me and hugging it.
I have a passing thought wishing that my mom was here for me to talk to.
That starts the tears.
I think about how different my life would have been if she hadn't of died.
If I hadn't made the decision to move to Forks, maybe I would have seen that something was wrong with her. I could have insisted she go to the doctor and they would have been able to do something.
Then I all the fun things we used to do together and how I considered her my best friend, even when I wanted her to be more of a mother.
Sobs wrack my body until it's hard to breathe and I can feel myself spiraling into a panic attack.
"Hey, hey, Bella. What's wrong?"