Garfield League of America Chapter Six: Justice League vs. Steppenwolf!
It was a new day, a new dawn in Gotham City. Garfield and Wonder Woman were still hot and moist from the past hours of hardcore lovemaking. With Wonder Woman's red cloak wrapped around them with nothing underneath the two watched the sun rise over Gotham City.
"How are you feeling, Angel of the Morning?" Garfield asked Wonder Woman as she stirred awake. He poured her a cup of lasagna coffee the only way the best take it: pure black.
"It is strange Garfield for so long with men I have not done the things that we have. But never before have I felt so alive. It is like I was angel who could not fly but at last you have given me my wings." Confessed Wonder Woman as she sipped coffee.
"Well savor that feeling because soon we march to war." Said Garfield with musing as he ate some doughnuts. Wonder Woman nodded with sadness because although she knew responsibility of saving the world from the aliens she did not want to end the sensation she had just experienced.
"But I am sure we can pick up right where we left off after Steppenwolf is in his grave." Garfield promised as he made lewd licking motions in his doughnut hole causing Wonder Woman to make girlish giggles.
"I look forward to that. But it is best that we not keep Batman waiting lest he begin another bawling fit." Wonder Woman said with duty as she and Garfield got dressed before jumping to the remains of Wayne Manor.
Batman Cyborg and The Flash were waiting in front of a giant batplane.
"It is good that you are here Garfield for I can feel that the end is near and it will end in our favor." Said Batman with optimism as everyone boarded the batplane.
"We have tracked the Landing Zone of Steppenwolf and his Parademon Army to Russia." Explained Cyborg as he pulled out a holographic map.
"Of course evil would make its roots first in the forsaken lands furthest from American decency." Said Garfield with disgust.
"That is not all while you and Wonder Woman were consummating your love Steppenwolf stole three important motherboxes." Batman said with direness. As Batman snapped his finger, Cyborg began to play a three-dimensional recreation of possible events.
"Motherboxes? What can those do?" Asked The Flash with apprehensiveness.
"He will use the Motherboxes to corrupt the very soil of our world, to breach the core itself. Steppenwolf will reshape our planet into the image of his homeworld Apokolips!" Wonder Woman exposited with horror.
"Just what we needed. Gentrification. But never fear I am Urban Decay and I will drive the property value of their lives down to hell." Garfield swore like ethnics moving into the neighborhood as he flexed his arms like he was reloading a gun.
The Justice League then flew to Russia, where the end of the world had begun. The skies had turned red and crystal tentacles burst from the ground. Buildings crumbled as the ground quaked. And the skies soon became dotted and dotted with more and more parademons until red became black.
On a hill overlooking the chaos, the Justice League parked and observed the anarchy. Parademons were swooping out of the sky and abducting random citizens, and mass conversion camps had been set up to add to their cannon fodder ranks. It all converged on a nuclear power plant that had been converted into something far worse. The smoke belched from the towers and swirled into the Omega Symbol with menace before dissipating.
"What have I gotten myself into?" The Flash said with his mouth agape.
"This is not very good at all." Cyborg mused as he sent out drones for surveillance.
"Oh well. Could be worse. Could be happening to a country and people who actually matter, like America." Garfield shrugged as he stayed on the bright side of things.
"Garfield you are right we spent years in the Cold War fighting against the Reds. Why do we not just let the aliens finish them for us?" Wonder Woman agreed with patriotism.
"That may be true but if we do not stop Steppenwolf now in time he will make his way to America as well. Do we let it end with a few dead Russians or many dead Russians and Americans?" Batman insisted with solidarity against a common foe.
"Fine fine let us just get this over with." Garfield sighed as he loaded his Desert Eagles as the Justice League did their prep sequence. Cyborg morphed his body into a walking arsenal of war and Wonder Woman polished her sword. Batman put on fancy goggles and mounted gatling guns on the Batmobile while The Flash did stretchs.
However their cool going to battle montage was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of a Russian family in a truck.
"What is this nonsense?" Asked Garfield with annoyance at the interruption of his groove.
"Are you more Parademons? Stand back or I will unleash this wrath in a can on you!" Said a silly little Russian girl in Russian as she tried to wave can of aerosol bug spray at Garfield with menance.
"SPEAK AMERICAN OR SPEAK NOTHING." Everyone yelled at the stupid Russian girl with such passion that her hair turned white from fright.
"Who taught you how to fight aliens you jumped-up dingleberry?" Wonder Woman said as she took the bug spray out of her hands and smacked the girl with it so hard her skull was fragmented.
"The Russian education system is in shambles but no big surprise." Said Garfield with American superiority. "Come the quicker we are done with this backwater slab of scorched Earth the better."
The Justice League then walked away from the pointless Russian family despite their protests, leaving them to their fate. In the bakcgroud as the Justice League walked away Parademons swooped in and ate them all but none of the Leaguers noticed.
"Now back to our regularly scheduled programming." Said Garfield with resumption of momentum as the Parademons circling above noticed them. With no seconds to spare the Justice League rushed into action.
"I am a rage that road has never known." Said Batman as he got into The Batmobile and drifted around corners and smashed through arrangements of cardboard boxes while gunning down Parademons, leaving bullet casings littered across the road.
"Leave some for me! This is funner than playing with myself!" The Flash hooted as he zipped from point to point, annihilating all Parademons in his path.
"Let us work on that maneuver we plotted together!" Cyborg said to Wonder Woman and Garfield who nodded as they saw a mass of Parademons zooming in from above.
"Here is the Wonderball Special!" Wonder Woman yelled as she grabbed Garfield and swung him high into the sky. As Garfield flew to meet the Parademons Cyborg activated his rockets and boosted Garfield's momentum like a jetpack.
"I do not know if you have your licenses to fly but here are your licenses to die." Garfield quipped as held up in mid-air by Cyborg he shot millions upon millions of Parademons out of the sky while Wonder Woman cheered them on screaming "My Man!"
At last after much more fighting the Justice League had carved a path to the nuclear reactor where Steppenwolf waited.
"Well this is all, dear friends. What we do now will change everything." Batman explaining with foreboding.
"Let us hope it is change for the better for there has been too much for the worse lately." Replied The Flash with depression.
"Cheer up sadsack we are about to slaughter thousands of bad dudes for America. Is that not reason enough to smile?" Garfield with patriotism reminded The Flash and the others of their duty.
"Yes if I still had blood in my veins I would be pumped and lusted for war!" Cheered Cyborg with intense anticipation.
"Tonight we dine upon hell!" Wonder Woman roared licking her blade before raising her aarm and pumping it high in the sky.
"To battle, my League!" Garfield said as he led the charge. Kicking down the front door, the Justice League saw none other than an eldritch vortex opened and powered by a giant Mother Box in the center of the room. Standing in front of it was a ten-foot tall horned alien monstrosity covered in otherworldly battle-armor that seemed simultaneously flesh. It was Steppenwolf! And as he turned to greet the Justice League a distorted melody of hard rock classic "Born to Wild" by the band not the alien Steppenwolf played, signaling how far his corruption of Earth and its most precious things had already come.
"So at last we meet. Garfield and your little League of Justice. Justice. Admirable concept is it not?" Steppenwolf said with haughtiness. "A pity when your sun sets eternal and Apokolips rises that you will never remember the existence of the word!"
"I have met many like you. Would-be conquerors who talk big. But you all are nothing more than specks of dust." Said Garfield with no fear as he reloaded his Desert Eagles and motioned for the rest of the Justice League to get into formation.
"You seek to intimidate me with your past deeds? Foolish Garfield, Mother has granted me the power to destroy even you!" Steppenwolf threw back his head in laughter as he snapped his finger and energy flowed from the Mother Box into his body empowering it. Steppenwolf then took out his Mother Box-fueled axe for showing off.
"Your mother should have cut you up with a coat hanger long ago. But never fear the Garfield Abortion Clinic takes late cases." Said Garfield with choice as he fired his Desert Eagles at Steppenwolf.
Without breaking a sweat, Steppenwolf swatted all of Garfield's bullets out of the air with his axe.
"You seek to stop me with mere bullets? He is coming. Nothing will stop I, the chosen harbinger of his will! And when the billions of this shallow world are but one body, mind, and soul in Darkseid you know what it is to awaken for the first time." Steppenwolf taunted Garfield as he snapped his fingers and a horde of Parademons swooped in out of nowhere and tackled Garfield off the ledge of the platform they were on. "Think of how futile any of this resistance is, as you hear the dying cries of your friends!"
"No! Garfield! We have to save him!" Shouted Wonder Woman with dismay as Garfield disappeared from sight.
"There is no time! We must stop Steppenwolf!" Batman insisted with duty and the Justice League ran into battle against Steppenwolf.
"I had a dream of a world where evil had won. But that vision will not come to pass because you die here!" Batman said as he fired his grappling hook at Steppenwolf and readied some explosive Batarangs for impaling as he zipped towards him.
"How predictable a manuever. Just like your failure." Steppenwolf critiqued Batman as he grabbed Batman's grappling hook in mid-air and swung Batman into the wall.
"Aaaaaaagh!" Batman groaned as the explosive batarangs landed beside him and went off, propelling him even further.
"You cannot predict what you cannot see coming!" The Flash then rushed in with sucker punch but with pinpoint timing Steppenwolf made great axe cleave and took of The Flash's right hand.
"Nooooooo! I was wrong this isn ot funner. I knew I should have done it one last time before we left!" Cried The Flash with some hindsightful regrets as he clutched at his bleeding stump.
"Children. You sent sexually frustrated virgin children to fight me." Steppenwolf said with amusement as he ripped off The Flash's other hand for spite and then kicked The Flash aside and faced Cyborg and Wonder Woman.
"Stand aside, Diana. I got this." Cyborg said as he transformed into a super robot fighter cyborg and charged Steppenwolf. Like kung fu master Cyborg unleashed punches and kicks faster than Lightingg onto Steppnwolf. But to Cyborg's horror, Steppenwolf was not fazed and then caught both his fists and legs.
"You power yourself with the technology of Apokolips. You tinker with material you can never comprehend in a pitiful mortal lifetime where I have had eternities upon Infinite Earths to master it!" Steppenwolf explained with experience as he crushed both of Cyborg's hands and ripped off his legs. He then whispered an ancient Apokoliptan kill-phrase and gave Cyborg a blue screen of death taking him out of the fight until he could reboot.
"Washed out alcoholics, rank amateurs, and tin men. Is this what passes for champions in your world now? When I first arrived it took the full might of three armies and the aid of divinity and forces from above to drive me back. How did you even think to stop me as you are now?" Steppenwolf looked around and laughed as he admired his handiwork. Batman was out cold, The Flash was going into shock rom blood loss, and Cyborgs system ahd failed. All that was left was Wonder Woman.
"Gods may not walk amongst the mortals anymore but there are still Goddesses." Said Wonder Woman as she picked up her sword and ran up to Steppenwolf.
"Ah, a Wonder Woman. It never gets tiresome or less satisfactory, killing your selves across the Multiverse. Well, at me then little girl!" Steppenwolf made the come at me gesture before taking a swing at Wonder Woman.
"You have grandstanded long enough now you will grandfumble!" Wonder Woman said as she did sliding dodge under the axe blow. As she passed Steppenwolf's underside, she clamped her bracelets together to create divine energy blast right against Steppenwolf's nether regions with such power they were annhilated.
"Aaaaaaaoooow!" Steppenwolf gurgled as he clutched at now empty space before he was blasted upwards.
"Let me take you for a ride!" Said Wonder Woman as she next caught Steppenwolf in mid-air with her Lasso of Truth and slammed him up and down against the roof and floor.
"No I will not let my plans go awry when all is so close!" Steppenwolf cried as he recovered and grabbed Wonder Woman's lasso reeling her in. He raised his axe for a killing blow but Wonder Woman swung her sword with such power upon impact she cleaved through his weapon and then his weapon arm.
"How is this possible?" Cried Steppenwolf with disbelief as he clutched at his bleeding stump. "How can one mere Amazon have done this to me?"
"Because you know nothing but hatred in your heart. You fight with nothing but fury and misplaced pride and think that is all that it takes to win a war. For the longest time I thought so too. I drifted through life for centuries, fighting always in the shadows, thinking that my rage meant something. But then I met a man who showed me that if at the end of the trail we look back and all we see is anger than the journey was all for naught. No, Garfield showed me that to win we do not fight with hatred of our enemy. He made me remember a feeling that I had thought lost to me. The feeling of fighting to protect what really matters." Wonder Woman said with heartfelt speech as she punched Steppenwolf down and then stepped on his throat with heel.
"Impossible what is this feeling you talk about?" Said Steppenwolf with choked words.
"THE POWER OF LOVE!" Roared the courageous voice of Garfield as he burst upwards like an exploding supervolcano, covered in the guts of slain Parademons. "AND LET US SHOW STEPPENWEAKLING ITS UNTAMED POSSIBILITY!"
"You got it Garfield!" Wonder Woman kicked Steppenwolf upwards. Wailing Steppenwolf saw nothing but Garfield's fist proceeding towards his face.
"FACE THE FIST." Garfield bellowed as he filled with such power lighting emanated all through his body and his eyeballs turned pure white and he punched Steppenwolf square in the face with such force he compacted his eyeballs.
"You are full of bull. Why don't I give you a few pointers?" Garfield asked Steppenwolf as he grabbed hold of his horns and ripped them right off and tossed one of them to Wonder Woman.
Garfield then rammed his horn into Steppenwolf's chest, driving through until he had pierced the heart. Garfield then ripped the stuck heart out and shoved it into Steppenwolf's mouth.
"Perhaps if there is a shred of love in that twisted blackness you call a heart you will get a taste before you die." Wonder Woman told Steppenwolf as she rammed her horn into his mouth and twisted turning his head a full 360 degrees.
With Steppenwolf dead Wonder Woman and Garfield walked over to the Mother Box to destroy it and save the day but a laser blast from above stopped them in their tracks.
"No no no! This cannot be happening!" Said Lex Luthor as he dropped in on his green robot suit. "Steppenwolf was to have crushed all of you and paved the way for the coming of Darkseid!"
"Stand aside quisling or you will be filling a grave tonight." Said Garfield with warnings as he pulled out his Desert Eagle.
"Nobody saves the day but Lex Luthor! And salvation is through Glorious Darkseid! Die Garfield!" Lex Luthor raved as he charged at Garfield with frothing mouth.
"You crack yourself up, egghead." Garfield said with deadliness as he shot once and that was all it took to kill Lex Luthor.
"At last it is over." Said Wonder Woman with relief as the rest of the Justice League came up to them. The Flash had lost his hands, Batman had lost his dignity, and Cyborg was still shut down but it was a price well paid. The world had been saved.
"Let us celebrate then. I have Herculean task for you to conquer in my pants." Said Garfield with flirtation and Wonder Woman giggled.
"Ooh Garfield you are such a charmer!" Wonder Woman said as Garfield took her in his arms and they kissed.
"Don't you just love a happy ending?" Asked The Flash with tears from his eyes as he tried to clap his stumps.
"Do not count your chickens before they hatch. But the tragedy of one man is another man's happy ending, yes." Said Batman with a sudden ominous note in his voice.
"When we get back home I will take you to Paraside Island so you can tame all us Amazons with your wise ways Garfield." Said Wonder Woman to Garfield with wink in eye.
"Forget island-hopping, I will be island-humping." Garfield said with a gleam in eye but then he noticed a sudden shift in Wonder Woman's expression. She had begun to clutch her belly, as if she had some bad digestion.
"Wonder Woman is something wrong?" Garfield asked but then Wonder Woman screamed like a baby in a blender as she keeled over in pain.
"Nononononono what is happening to me? My time of month has already passed!" Wonder Woman shrieked and there was a sudden ticking sound that all could hear but none could trace.
"Where is that beeping coming from?" The Flash asked with confusion. "We have defeated all the bad guys what is happening?"
"Entropy, my boy. That is what." Said Batman as he crossed his arms and simply observed. And for the first time in forever, Batman smiled.
"What are you doing? Do not tarnish your beauty like that!" Garfield cried out in anguish as Wonder Woman began to claw and rip at her belly, and to his horror Garfield realized that was where the ticking noise was coming from.
"Get away from me Garfield I do not want you to see this!" Wonder Woman tearfully shouted as she made an incision in her flesh and parted it like Noah parting the Red Sea. Reaching into her guts, she groaned and squirmed until with much struggle she pulled out none other than a live explosive.
"Diana! What has happened to you! Let me help!" Garfield ordered as he ran to her but Wonder Woman held out her sword to stand him down.
"You cannot help me Garfield. It is too late. This is just one of many bombs now planted in me. Bombs made of Dark Multiverse Metal that will kill even a God. And the blast will kill you all as well. And they cannot be defused." Wonder Woman explained as she held the bomb in her hands, blood dripping from her stained hands.
"No! I can still save you! I will still save you! You are the world to me!" Garfield yelled and tried to run to her but Batman stepped in and held him back.
"It is all for the greater good Garfield. Trust me this is fireworks you will not want to miss." Batman whispered in his ear as Wonder Woman looked up towards the empty sky. The red was now fading back to the clearest of blues. Her lip quivered, before curling into the slimmest of smiles.
"I love you, Garfield." Wonder Woman then began to levitate, calling upon the blessing of the Greek Gods for one final favor. She took one final look at Garfield and smiled with sadness. "In Elysium I shall always remember how just briefly, but wonderfully, you showed me how it was to fly."
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Garfield broke free of Batman's grasp and ran towards Wonder Woman but it was too late. She flew off into the sky, going further and futher, until Garfield could see no more of her. With heaviness weighing in his heart, Garfield fell down onto his knees. Overwhelmed by the end of love, he did not even hear the blast as the bombs went off.
"Why did this happen? My precious Wonder Woman is gone like a candle in the wind." Garfield said with grief as he pounded his manly fist with manly sadness on the ground.
And Batman began to laugh.
"You should have been more careful about what you put in her, chum." Batman said with sudden betrayal as he took out from his utility belt the same Dark Multiverse Bombs that killed Wonder Woman. "Their spores were in your lasagna and they infiltrated your fluids and made their way into pollination in Wonder Woman from there. Quite a chef, Alfred is. But do not blame him, he was just following orders. My orders."
"WHAT IS THIS." Said Garfield with shock.
"You killed Wonder Woman Batman! How could you!" Asked The Flash as he backed away.
"It was never about saving the world." Batman said with calmness as he hummed his theme tune and walked circles around the rest with nonchalance. "It was about clearing the playing field of rivals."
Batman then took out a big green button and pressed it.
"You think I did not plan for any of this? You think that I was inept fool on purpose? Like when I did not seem to notice Cyborg hackign into my computer? No it was to infect him with another one of my contingencies!" Batman said with viruses as Cyborg suddenly came to life. But it was not the same Cyborg, as his machine side quickly began to grow and consume his flesh until there was nothing but metal left. Cyborg had become the Grid!
"Keep Garfield down a bit longer so I can complete my monologue, eh?" Batman ordered the Grid and with robotic affirmation, the Grid fired energy net on Garfield that trapped him on the floor while shooting unlimited watts of electricity through him.
"No Batman this is all madness! But I do not need hands to slap some sense into you!" The Flash yelled as he dodged a blast from Grid and ran at superspeed to Batman. But he only punched with his stump nothing but thin air.
"What?" The Flash yelled in surprise but then Batman teleported behind him.
"Nothing personal, kid." And Batman then ran a black blade through The Flash.
"AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE!" The Flash screamed as to his horror he realized that Batman's sword was not just killing him it was sucking his soul as well.
"I would say I am sorry but what have we old ever done but feed off you young?" Batman said as he stole The Flash's soul adding to his power. Throwing the red corpse aside, Batman walked up to Garfield who broke free from his net and punched the Grid aside. With a simple tap, Batman sent the recovered Garfield flying.
"See this Garfield?" Batman asked as he held up his black sword and his eyes began to glow red. "This is Batblade. Granted to me by my patron demon, Barbatos of the Dark Multiverse."
"You have colluded with darkness? Batman you are a fool!" Garfield said with hatred as he spat at Batman but Batman cut his spit in two with the blade.
"No I am the only sane man in this whole multiverse! Lying knee-deep in the blood of my parents when I was only eight I learned the truth. This world only makes sense when you force it to! I became Batman to make some sense, some order of this chaos. But the light is nothing but a lie. In my dreams the Dark Multiverse showed me the truth! Order is just a delusion, a fantasy we maintain to stave off our true masters! Chaos is the destiny of the world!" Batman dodged gunshots from Garfield and slashed across his chest. Feeling a tug at his soul with even a minor cut, Garfield hissed as he realized Batman was going for all the marbles.
"I will unite Batblade with its counterpart on this Multiverse, the Godkiller Sword. As prophecy decrees, the Twin Blades united will bring about absolute victory either order or chaos. And thus, chaos shall reign and I shall shape its manifestation upon this pitiful world." Batman said as he tossed a Batarang and knocked Garfield's Desert Eagles out of his hands and into the abyss.
"It was a gambit that has gone all aces for me." Batman stopped and breathed in elation. "What protectors and opposition does the universe have for me now? I have manipulated you all into eliminating the army of Apokolips for me. Atlantis and Themyscira are in shambles, and already my armies of chaos have rallied to march upon them! What allies have you to call upon? No Kryptonians, no Lanterns, there is only the Bat."
"I NEED ONLY MYSELF TO STOP YOU!" Said Garfield with second wind as he rushed at Batman.
"Oh you fool, Garfield. You are just a man. But I am the Goddamn Batman." Batman then raised Batblade high in the air. "Hear me, Barbatos! Lord of the Dark Multiverse, grant me aid so that I may deliver Garfield's prized soul to you!"
Struck by lighting from below that infused him with Dark Multiverse energy, Batman was more than a match for Garfield. Every punch Garfield made was deflected, and his body filled with more cuts from Batman's cursed blade. With every wound, Batman drained more of Garfield's strength. And finally, Batman made a critical swing.
"All this time I have endured your irritating displays of manliness and made to feel inferior. But now Garfield... it is my turn." Batman announced as his blade cut through flesh and bone.
And as such there went Garfield's left hand.
"Ouch." Garfield commented with annoyance as he saw the gaping wound where his left hand once was.
"You think this will stop me from stopping you Batman?" Said Garfield with refusal to give up.
"Do you seek to comfort yourself with these words of false bravado Garfield? Little rascal, I have already won." Batman then took out an explosive gel detonator. Garfield suddenly realized he could not see out of his right eye. With shock he realized Batman had sprayed over it during the heat of battle when he was too furious to notice.
"My eyes cannot be pierced by the sharpest of knives or shattered the biggest of bangs. You think no one has tried before?" Garfield taunted Batman with insolence as he made another desperate charge at Batman.
"Different times. Experience the wrath of a Dark Multiverse Explosion!" Batman yelled as he pressed the button.
"Aaaaaagh!" Garfield grunted as the explosion took out his right eye. He tried to stand, but his too much of his manliness and power had been stolen by Batman. Garfield then collapsed and bled.
"And now Garfield, your soul is mine!" Batman lunged with the killing blow but there was a flash of light that stunned him.
When Batman's eyes cleared, in front of the fallen Garfield, like the sword in the stone was none other than the Godkiller Sword. It was a stainless white blade, with a blue tint and a red and gold hilt and handle. The colors of none other than
"Wonder Woman?" Batman said in surprise. "Of course. She must have been the previous keeper of the Godkiller. And in her moment of death, she must have summoned it to pass on. To aid you perhaps Garfield? Too late nonetheless. She has only aided me in expediting the Great Coming of Chaos."
"Do not give up Garfield." Said the voice of Wonder Woman in Garfield's head as he weakly stared at the approach of his end. It seemed to be coming from the sword itself. "Even as I died I did not feel despair for the future of the world but hope instead. Because I knew you would be there for it. Garfield, hope never dies. You may think of yourself what you may but to the world Garfield you are hope. Take my Godkiller, Garfield, and do your thing!"
"Raaaaaaaaarrrrrgh!" Garfield roared as he summoned all the strength he could and leapt forward. The weight of the world was on his shoulders, but it was a weight that he never regretted to bear. For he was Garfield, the greatest man that ever lived.
"Noooo the Godkiller is mine!" Batman screamed and swung at Garfield to kill him but he was too late. Garfield grabbed the Godkiller and intercepted Batman's blow. Like alley cats in heat the blades soulshrieked as they met and blew Batman and Garfield apart with psychic force.
"Back to hell with you, Bat." Garfield said as he stabbed his sword into the Mother Box intending to create an explosion that would take out both him and Batman. But to Garfield's surprise, the Mother Box instead began to vibrate.
"No!" Garfield yelled as the Mother Box opened up a Boom Tube. "I still have to save the world!"
"Running with your tail between your legs? Go ahead. In the end Batman rules all." Batman swore hatefully at his rival as the Boom Tube sucked up Garfield and sent him to worlds unknown.
To be continued...