And dear American and German readers, please don't think I am taking a cheap shot. The couple you are about to meet did exist, and the conversations did happen (admittedly not in one sitting and perhaps I have exaggerated- actually no, I haven't, and I hope no one takes offence) although their names have been changed to protect the guilty... Oh, and yes be warned there is one raunchy sentence in here, but not enough to change the rating.

Barbara surveyed the plates on display at the entrance to the dining room. Each of the sample meals looked delicious, and the desserts seemed to each call 'pick me'. They sat at a table for six and were soon joined by Kati and Volker. Another couple wandered over.

"Mind if we join y'all?"

"Of course not," Tommy said with his typically impeccable manners.

Barbara smiled politely. Unless they had a peculiar sense of humour the couple were clearly American. Apart from the drawl, the tall but stocky man was wearing a large felt hat, and loose denim jeans held up by a leather belt with oversized silver buckle in the shape of steer horns. Barbara glanced down to see his black calf-high snakeskin boots with what looked to be spurs. She nudged Tommy. His face was neutral, but she knew he was staring a little too hard at the man's blue satin shirt with white piping that reminded her of an Annie Oakley costume she had worn in a school show.

The man extended his paw towards Volker then Tommy. "Howdy. I'm Wyatt Thurman, and this here is my wife, Madison. We're from a little bitty ranch just outside Dallas, Texas, part of the good ole U-nited States of 'Merica."

Barbara quickly grabbed her glass and pretended to drink. Under the table, Tommy squeezed her thigh so hard she thought he would leave a bruise. She did not dare look at him.

"Tommy Lynley and my fiancée, Barbara Havers, from London."

"Howdy, ma'am." The man tipped his hat and gave her a slight bow.

"I am Volker. This is my Frau, er wife, Kati. We are from Berlin."

"Ber-Lin! My old man flew bombers over Ber-Lin when we gave them Nat-zees a serve back in '44."

You could have heard a pin drop. Even the surrounding tables had stopped talking. Barbara waited to see if Tommy would diffuse the situation, but he looked as dumbfounded as her. They both turned to see Volker's reaction. His eyes narrowed. "He would have had a good view with all the lights from the fires," the German retorted with so much insincere politeness that Wyatt was utterly oblivious to the message.

"I think..." Tommy began, but Volker shook his head.

Barbara studied the couple more closely as they sat. Wyatt was probably in his early seventies, but his wife was considerably younger. She looked as if she had stepped straight out of the 1950s. Her dress reminded Barbara of Audrey Hepburn. Unfortunately, Madison did not share the same svelte body shape. The full, billowy floral skirt looked good, but the plain black blouse with a shaped bust and cinched waist looked four sizes too small. She smiled at Tommy and two precisely aligned rows of white teeth dominated her face. When she threw her head back and laughed, Barbara, Tommy and the Germans exchanged alarmed glances. Barbara leant over to Tommy. "When she laughs, she looks like a horse. They say animals look like their owners."

Tommy had been sipping his wine. He caught his breath and began to wheeze and cough. "Excuse me. Sorry."

Wyatt eased himself into his chair. "I used to be quarterback back in the day." He slapped his stomach with both hands. "Bit too corn-fed now. They'd get a good price for me at market, wouldn't they Darlin'?"

"Fer shore, Pumpkin Pie."

"You run cattle?" Tommy asked.

"Yep, got over 80,000 acres and we stock 'em at one every three."

Tommy nodded and grunted noncommittally. "What brings you to Greenland?"

"I's always wanted to pot me a pol-uh bear. I got a grizzly up in the Rockies and the ole brown bear on the floor o'ma den is a bit threadbare."

The table stopped again. No one quite knew what to say. Wyatt slapped the table with his hand and started to laugh. The more he laughed, the more it sounded like he was about to have a heart attack. Spittle formed around his mouth which he wiped away on his sleeve. "Gots y'all a good one. I know yer caint shoot dem pol-uh bears."

"Now Pumpkin, don't go makin' these nice people think we're hicks."

"Ah, bless yer heart, darlin'. These folks know we ain't no damn fool hicks."

The waiter arrived. "Are you ready to order?"

Tommy and Barbara held hands as they walked from the restaurant up the two flights to their cabin. Neither looked at the other. Tommy opened the door. Barbara stepped inside and turned to him. They both burst into laughter.

"Ole Wyatt sure do know how to entertain," Tommy said mimicking the Texan's thick accent.

Barbara threw her head back. "Neigh!"

Tommy's arms came around her and pulled her close. "I want to see that again. You throwing your head back and whinnying."

Barbara hit him on the shoulder. "Tommy!"

He pushed her gently backwards as he kissed her. Her knees crumbled as they hit the bed and they tumbled downing a fit of kissy giggles. "The bed!"

"I had Sabrina change it back. I want to sleep with you."

"I gathered that, Mr Whale."

"No, I mean, I want to sleep with you in my arms. The single beds were too small for both of us."

"So, you just want to sleep?"

He kissed her neck. "I didn't say just sleep."

Tommy's mouth found hers, and all thoughts of sleep were forgotten.

Tommy woke to find Barbara kneeling up on the bed looking out of the window. He ran his hand over the curve of her bottom and rested it in her back. "You okay?"

She looked down and smiled. "Yeah, good. I couldn't sleep. This constant daylight doesn't help."

"I love you, Barbara."

She frowned. "I know. I love you too."

"Then come over here and show me."

"You are a greedy whale. You come up here and show me."

Tommy knelt up behind her and kissed her neck, and he nestled in behind her. "Like this?"

Barbara had meant merely a kiss, but as she heard him tearing the foil, she gripped the windowsill and moved her legs slightly wider. "Oh, yes... just like this..."

Tommy and Barbara were a little late to breakfast. They spotted Volker and Kati trapped at a table for four with the Texans. "How unfortunate," Barbara said as they found a table for two on the other side of the dining room.

"Indeed. Although after Wyatt's initial gaffe, everyone seemed to get along. But let's hope we can continue to have that luck for the rest of the trip. I can only handle so much ye-ha per day."

"If I recall, that might have been similar to some sounds I heard this morning."

"Barbara. I did not call out ye-ha. Not under any circumstances."

Barbara started to laugh. "One day you might. I will keep that in mind."

Tommy snorted. "What time do we reach the fjord?"

Barbara glanced at her watch. "About an hour according to the schedule. Should we wait on deck?"

"Definitely. Top deck so we can see all around."

"You just want to snuggle in behind me again."

Tommy nearly choked on his egg. "We can't do that up there," he finally spluttered as he gave her a saucy grin.

Barbara turned red. "I meant like the other day."

"Ah, yes. We can do that."

Thirty minutes later after finishing breakfast, cleaning their teeth and grabbing warm jackets, they made their way to the viewing deck as the ship began to enter the fjord. Kati and Volker were standing by the rail.

"Good morning," Tommy said.

Kati smiled at him. "Good morning."

"Sorry we couldn't join you for breakfast," Barbara said with just enough sincerity not to offend.

"So are we," Volker said. "Anyway, they have gone to put on their expedition clothes."

"Good lord." Everyone sniggered at Tommy's response. "Well, we will probably see you later. I promised Barbara her prime spot."

They walked across the deck. Barbara stood on the vent and happily allowed Tommy to wrap himself around her. This time there were no nerves or uncertainties as they stood silently watching the towering sides of the fjord narrow.

"I don't want to chase criminals today," he said with a sigh. "I'd much prefer to stay here then go back to our cabin."

Barbara turned slightly in his arms. "Me too. I..." She lowered her eyes. "I never knew I could be so..."

"Voracious?"

"What? No. I was going to say happy."

"I didn't know that I could be either." Tommy went to kiss her then pulled away. He nodded towards the stern of the ship. "There's a rib leaving from the back."

Barbara twisted back. They watched the small boat bounce over the waves. "It's heading over there. Can you see anything?"

"There's something there. Why has the ship slowed down so much?"

"We're supposed to be watching for... whales." Barbara began to laugh.

"What's so funny?"

"I just imagined you leaping and jumping in the air and flapping your tail. A bit like last night really."

Tommy grabbed her hips, his fingers extending down over her rump. He gave a suggestive squeeze then leant down and kissed her. "I'm glad the way I made love amused you, but I don't recall leaping in the air."

"Not the jumping, more the diving bit." This time she kissed him. "And they're humpbacks..."

They both began to laugh before Tommy kissed her again. This time hungrily. He paused then pulled away. "Look, there's a hut near the shoreline and a small jetty."

They instantly switched from lovers to police and turned to look. "Yeah, that's where the rib's headed."

"Whoever gets on must be Schweindeiner. Can you see any other buildings?"

"No, we need binoculars," she complained. "We should try to get there for a look."

"How? And besides, our orders are to observe. We wait and see what happens."

"Yeah, I know. Hang on... is he loading something on the jetty?"

"Looks like big plastic insulated boxes like the fishermen use."

"Or the organ donations."

"What?"

"They carry hearts and bits around in big plastic iceboxes. I bet he's bringing some more of that stuff onboard."

"Then we observe and report. We are not here to arrest him. Not without proof and backup."

"Yes, Sir."

"What? No, don't pull that on me, Havers. I'm looking out for you, not ordering you about."

"Always been the same thing with you."

"Barbara, that's not fair."

Barbara nodded. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, Tommy. It's just I hate feeling powerless. And I had begun to forget why we are here."

Tommy put his arms back around her. "What would we be if we weren't bickering? Now, let's mosey on down to the next deck and watch as he comes aboard."

Barbara wriggled round and was about to kiss him when she spotted the Texans and groaned. "Speaking of moseying, guess who's just turned up."

"Barbara! Tommy! How y'all doin' this fine mornin'?"

Barbara smirked as the American slapped Tommy on the back. Her lover straightened. She could see by his eyes that he wanted to throw the annoying man overboard. "We are well, thank you," Tommy said in his best Etonese.

Wyatt's dress-of-the-day again looked like it had come from the prop department of a second-rate theatre. He had on a long-sleeved bone shirt under a safari vest with more pockets and epilets than Jungle Jim. His faded giggle hat, adorned with a mixture of pins and fishing flies, looked alien in the polar landscape. Two cameras were slung around his neck with the straps crossed like bandoliers. Barbara struggled not to laugh. Tommy's grip tightened around her hand. She was not sure if it was a warning or to try to stop him from laughing.

"Whale!"

The Americans rushed to the other side of the ship. Tommy and Barbara dissolved into laughter as Wyatt waddled across at full turtle speed in his army surplus boots that were laced loosely around his sizable calves.

Tommy pulled her away. "Come on, let's wait down near the gangway."