I think the chapter has an urgent need to be beta readed - if anyone wants to do it, please message me. ^^ If you read this now be aware that there are lots of mistakes I think, because this chapter was very hard to write.

And I think I might need to rewrite the summary, didn't know that it would become so serious ... I really have way too much fantasy ...

Chapter 9: Confession

Shindou saw the panic in Kirino's eyes and broke the kiss, suddenly realizing what he had done just now.

"Shindou, what are you doing?" The pink haired boy escaped quickly from his friends near, his cheeks slightly red and his eyes focused on the ground. "I … I am not a girl you know", he whispered silently with an undertone Shindou couldn't interpret. Could it be … Was it regret? Whatever it was, Shindou couldn't grasp it.

"I'm sorry!" The brown haired boy immediately apologized, shocked about his own action. "Of course I don't see you as a girl, Kirino!" He grabbed at his friend's shoulder, his face lowered in attempt to hide his blushing. "I didn't think about my actions- it was just a mistake!"

But a second later he regretted his words. This feeling … Touching Kirino's lips with his own hadn't felt bad. To be honest it had been the best feeling Shindou ever had. And the way Kirino looked at him now, distraught and insecure – how could kissing this fragile individual be a mistake?

"Kirino, everything will be alright." Shindou couldn't help but comfort his friend although the other boy hadn't said a word.

However the addressed boy just gave him an unbelieving glance and sighed. "You have no idea, it won't be over just because you MIGHT win today. This has become far bigger than you could possible imagine, Shindou."

The former captain of Raimon wondered for a second why he and his friend went back to use their last name, Shindou missed the intimacy that using first names had gave him. Why was Kirino so desperate to put more distance between them? "I don't want to imagine", he answered then looking at Kirino. "Please tell me!"

"It started when you were in holidays", Kirino began looking at the river. He discovered two little fishes and focused his attention on them. "It didn't came with you because-"

"Well, it doesn't matter", the pink haired boy continued after pausing for some seconds. "But I noticed that everyone in Raimon slowly lost interest in soccer, from coming late to practice to not playing seriously. I couldn't stand it, after all soccer is the thing you love most, isn't it?"

Shindou just nodded and touched Kirino's arm – a gesture to encourage his friend as well to show his graditute. "You love soccer too, don't you?"

"Yeah, I truly love soccer. But I don't want you to lose your team, remember the day you became captain? Being the captain of the Raimon eleven made you so proud." Kirino smiled when he thought back. "I just didn't want you to be disappointed … ."

"You still remember that?", Shindou asked, but his the other boy didn't listen.

"That's why I decided that Raimon needed a new challenge. I knew only a strong opponent could bring back the others, as a result I founded the Silent Strikers."

"Ranmaru!" Shindou tried to get his friends attention, because he seemed to have forgotten of his presence, his view obstinately focused on the water, concentrating just on his own words. "Everything you did was for the sake of the team", he said then as Kirino looked at him, surprised to see Shindou smile. "You love Raimon, don't you? I can't understand what your problem is, Ranmaru … ."

"I'm not finished, Shindou, this is only where it starts. During the holidays I gathered players from all over Japan. Of course no one from a regular school team would join me so I just had to get these who weren't allowed to enter the soccer club because of their lack of skill."

"Wow you were really serious", Shindou commented. "If you had told me, I would have helped you, you know."

However Kirino continued stoically, now that he had began the boy seemed to be relieved to finally share his secret with his friend. "We trained like mad, but well, they were really a hopeless bunch of players … ." His voice broke.

"I … I did something terrible, Shindou." The former Captain of Raimon felt Kirino's golden eyes glancing of him. He couldn't resist, but looking into them. Although Kirino wore contact lenses, his eyes still had the same effect on Shindou as always. "I'm so ashamed of myself, but I want to tell you, I want you to know-"

"I'll listen to it, Kirino. And I won't hate you, whatever you have done, it would be impossible for me to do so anyway." There eyes met, and Shindou's comforting glance gave his friends the confidence to continue.

"One of the players had some connections and got us these new drug. It increases the power of the body dramatically, but of course you get addicted to this power very easily-"

"Kirino!" Shindou was shocked. He never believed his friend would go that far.

"It's not what you think!", the pink haired boy added hastily. "Please believe me … I didn't want it … Of course I didn't want it … I do love soccer after all … ." His voice was trembling, but he didn't cry.

Shindou secretly admired the boy for his discipline. Maybe Kirino wasn't as fragile as he had thought earlier.

"I'm not better than fifth sector was, in fact I'm even worse because I gave them a drug. A damn DRUG!"

Shindou shrugged as Kirino's voice suddenly had gotten louder. "You said you didn't want it?", he asked then.

"That doesn't matter. In the end we took it … They wanted it … At first only to try, but then they became addicted to the power … And I don't know why, but the started to want revenge … Because they weren't allowed to play soccer in their schools."

Suddenly Kirino's voice got more firmly. "And that's were we are now. We're destroying soccer fields … ."

"You could just leave them", Shindou suggested. "We will play against them like we always do and they will realize how much fun real soccer is. That's how Raimon always does it."

"You don't understand, I'm the one responsible, I can't leave them. I might be a failure as a captain but I'm not going to abandon them."

Shindou didn't know what to reply. Before the conversation started he had been sure that everything would be alright, if Kirino would just tell him his problem. He had been sure that he would be able to solve it, but now … All he could do was comfort his friend, although this was very little considering the situation he was in. "You definitely aren't a failure. You are the best person I have ever met." Shindou tried to smile but it felt more like a grimace to him.

"Anyway, we should hurry back, the others are still waiting", the other boy answered untouched by Shindous words.

Suddenly Shindou laughed. "Kirino, you look hilarious!"

"What's wrong with you?", the other boy asked surprised but then he noted that he had lost one of the contact lenses. With one eye azure and the other golden, in addition to his hair – a mix of pink and black, since his wig was askew. Of course he must look like a weirdo.

Kirino stretched out his tongue and giggled. "At least I made you laugh, it's kinda rare these days. Now let's return, ok?"

And now I know why I don't like this story. It's just that Kirino and Shindou don't have a character, at least none that I can grasp. If you have read my other stories you know what I mean - it's too difficult to explain it in words ... However I think it will get better when more episodes of Go are out, so there is still hope. ^^